Linda's daily check-in

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Sinnie
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Post by Sinnie » Mon Jan 06, 2014 4:20 pm

Linda, I think your mod sounds great. I am biased though, as I've never been a Vanilla gal ;) I admire your dedication since the beginning. I am under the belief though that S days are very difficult for those of us with any eating issues - be it binging, overeating regularly, diet head etc and there needs to be some type of plug on it. That's just me though. I will always binge on a day you tell me to eat anything, anytime - even though the idea is to still use common sense and be moderate. It's my source of comfort and entertainment.

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:03 pm

Thank you guys so much for the support!!

Auto: I'm hoping it's just a little glitch. I'm susceptible to depression and it seems to happen when several difficult situations converge at once. It also seems to happen more often when I'm not overeating. It's such a weird thing. Not just like feeling a little sad but it's more like walking around with an 80 lb backpack. Even little things start to feel overwhelming. Over the years I've learned to ride it out and even encourage it to end a little more quickly so I'm hopeful.

Sinnie: I tend to agree. I know everyone says S days should calm down after I year but it seems some of the long-termers still struggle w S days now & then. When I tried intuitive/anti-diet eating I kept reading that the non-stop eating would calm down too, but after 5 yrs and 50 lbs, I realized it just wasn't going to happen for me. I don't want to have 5 out 7 days of peace when I can have 7 out of 7 days! For people who have pretty good S days from the get go, I can see not wanting to "mess with a good thing" though for sure.

Linda
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chani8
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Post by chani8 » Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:41 pm

I stopped by to say 'hi' and send some positive support your way. :)

You sound like a nice person, and I'm sorry you're feeling stressed. I can schlep a 16 kilo backpack (40lbs?) so if you need any support . . . ;)

Did you know that on the psychologists' stress scale, a move is in the top ten major stresses a person can go through? So treat yourself gently, as you're going through a lot.

I moved 2 months ago and even though it's a better situation, having to make new friends is very hard.
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 06, 2014 6:29 pm

Thank you chani!! You are too sweet!

I felt this way too when we first moved to Az. I guess I thought it'd be different since we just moved across town. You're right I need to be gentle with myself.

Thanks for stopping by my thread.

Linda :)
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Jan 07, 2014 5:26 am

Much better day today. I remembered what DH said about me needing to make sure I got plenty of sunlight everyday so I spent some time outside picking fruit and reading.

It's so beautiful this time of year (70 degrees today) so I should really take advantage of the weather. Girls are back in school so had some much needed peace & quiet. I got my full exercise in too so all these things help. Yay-- I think I'll be fine!

Linda
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Post by clarebear » Tue Jan 07, 2014 11:17 am

yey :D
it's amazing the difference a day can make, particularly a day with nice weather :)
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Post by chani8 » Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:44 pm

Hurray on getting sunshine. Yesterday I sat in the sun, too, just because I know I need those rays for my mental well-being (and vit D).
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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Post by automatedeating » Tue Jan 07, 2014 1:40 pm

OK, OK, enough discussion about going out in the sunshine and picking fruit (in JANUARY!!). :) We used to live in North Carolina and I still pine for the climate there. Ahh, warmth.
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8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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Post by jw » Tue Jan 07, 2014 2:41 pm

LOL, my thoughts exactly, automated! It was -15 here overnight (wind chill -55) and we had a power failure from midnight to 4 am. I had two dogs, some candles and a gas stove to keep me warm!

PS -- sunshine and fruit couldn't happen to a nicer person, Linda -- I'm just envious right now! :)
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Jan 07, 2014 3:17 pm

Hehe I know we have beautiful winters. However you guys won't be feeling too envious when it's the middle of summer and 115 degrees out!

My kids are true desert kid btw--they are freezing in the mornings when it's 45 degrees outside. Anyway stay warm and I'll try to send some of this sunshine your way!

Linda :)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:20 am

First RED day for NoS. Ugh--I can barely bring myself to mark it on my habitcal. It was a minor transgression... But red nonetheless. Time to re-evaluate and regroup.
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Imogen Morley
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Post by Imogen Morley » Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:58 pm

May I ask what happened?
I'm very, very interested in your progress, as I believe that I, too, would benefit from having a few S-events per week instead of two anything-goes days - and I don't mean just weight, but rather sanity and a sense of normalcy. Would you be kind enough to answer a couple of questions regarding your mod?
1) You take only pre-planned S-events, right? Do you add any extra rules, like, for example, they have to be only social/special occasions or something?
2) How many do you allow per week?
3) How much attention do you pay to the quantity of your treats (I mean, do you have just "moderate portion", however you define it, or apply some rigid limits)?
Your input is much appreciated!

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Post by klmom » Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:10 pm

Good luck, LPearlmom! It sounds like you are doing a great job! Keep it up.

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Post by jw » Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:47 pm

Oh, Linda -- after such a long stretch, that must be unnerving! But -- it's one minor lapse against well over 100 perfect days. And now, you have it behind you -- you know that it's OK to slip and not have your success jeopardized by that one little slip. You know what to do -- MIAMO!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:43 pm

Thank you klmom!

Jw you're right. It's ok, but definitely a learning experience for me. Thanks for all your wonderful encouragement. :)

Imogen: well after all my whining, I think I have to admit you guys were right. I don't think my plan is working for me. As much as I hate my S days, I think maybe I need them. Also, it's too much of a slippery slope having floating S events.

I really thought I could handle it but I need clearer boundaries. My plan was to have 6 S events (1 small plate each) when things came up like going out for coffee w a friend and I really wanted a muffin.

Yesterday I had a very light lunch and was so hungry by 3 pm. I decided to have a S events and have a snack with my kids. I kept it to one plate but later that night I started wondering if I should take another S event and have cookies for dessert w my family. All this wondering made it feel like anything goes and I started picking after dinner. I realized I had a red day at that point so just went ahead and have the cookies. I realized I needed the release of a true S day.

So long story short, you guys were so right to be skeptical. I'm back to vanilla & am just going to really focus on getting my S days to where I want them to be.

Ugh, guess I like to learn the hard way!

Linda :)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by Imogen Morley » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:51 pm

I'm sorry it didn't work for you. I have been there many times myself, heh. I still wholeheartedly believe that occasional S-events are superior to vanilla, and more natural (blasphemy!), but I suspect it doesn't work that well for people who have struggled with diethead/ED. It's easier to do things every day or never or once rather than "from time to time". Habits require consistency, I guess, and S-events can be too erratic to build the solid structure for lifelong eating habits. Plus, all that decision-making is exhausting!

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:54 pm

Yes Imogen. You get it 100%. It feels more natural but doesn't work in the long term for so many of us. *sigh* oh well.
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
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3/16-170 lbs
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3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
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Imogen Morley
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Post by Imogen Morley » Wed Jan 08, 2014 4:12 pm

So we're both now back to our regularly scheduled vanilla. Keeping my fingers crossed for you peaceful N-days and highly enjoyable, sane weekends.

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 08, 2014 4:31 pm

Yes, it looks like it! Thank you and good luck to you--we can do this!!:)))
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
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automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:14 am

Hi Linda,
I saw about your first red day and was meaning to post, "mark it and move on!" and then saw you are returning to vanilla.

I'm always eager to read your posts and always appreciate your encouragement, whatever your eating arrangement!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jan 09, 2014 3:22 am

Oh you're too sweet auto--thank you!

Green day but feel my resolve slipping. Just longing to be free from the constraints of rules for some reason all of a sudden. I wonder if it's all because of skipping my darn S days.

Right now getting through by I'm just telling myself I can pile on my plates as high as I want and I can eat non-stop for 48 hrs this weekend if needed. I drove past dunkin donuts today and had visions of stuffing my face with coffee & donuts. I don't even really like donuts.

I'm not giving up though but going to work through the hard parts instead of giving into to the rebel in me. This will be good for me. A growing experience.

Linda
Last edited by lpearlmom on Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









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Post by jw » Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:10 pm

I'm feeling a little bit of that rebellion, too, Linda -- sometimes the self-imposed restriction feels arbitrary and you just want to break the rules to show yourself who's boss! I think the solution is probably not to clamp down harder, but just to keep going . . . Yesterday was my first truly easy N day since the holidays. Just acknowledge how incredibly well you've done and forgive yourself the little splurge and get back on the horse!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jan 09, 2014 3:26 pm

Yeah JW I think that's it about the arbitrary rules. Feels that way sometimes but I can't deny their effectiveness in this case. So yes Just going to ride this out.

I think what's keeping me going right now is thinking about all the people that quit & then come back sometimes more than once. I know that'll be me if I quit so I really rather just not go down that road.

Anyway going camping for a few days so no internet, but hoping everyone has a great weekend!

Linda :)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
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3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
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3/19-163 lbs
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:56 am

Ugh, we were suppose to go kid-free camping tonight but hubby had to go do an ER surgery so we're not leaving till the morning. my kids cried because they were looking forward to having a sleepover with their babysitter. Boy can I feel the love.

Today went well till after dinner. I so wanted to go back for more food. I can feel myself questioning my decision to stick with NoS. It's easy to forget how mentally messed up I was regarding food b4 I started this. I just think I need my S days as a weekly reminder. Lesson learned.

Going back to my daily check-in to help my strengthen my resolve.

NoS: green--barely! Got through w the promise of gorging tomorrow.

Exercise: green. Been doing my 20 mins/day on my rowing machine. It's just the right amount.

Anger: green. Glad because yesterday was a doozie. I told my daughter I wanted her to go to camp for 1 month.

Cookbook: haven't been cooking much this week.

Yay for tomorrow!!!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









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Post by jw » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:52 am

Hang in there, Linda. It's a little like driving on ice -- you steer into the skid, completely counterintuitive. Acknowledge that you have options, maybe even allow a minor infraction once in a while, but maintain overall direction (moderation) even if it's not perfection.

Hope your weekend is fun!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jan 12, 2014 4:46 pm

Thank you JW for your sound advice. I love that analogy. You've managed to get right to the heart of the issue again.

Yesterday was a lot of fun. We went off-roading with a big group of people. Everyone was so nice and down to earth. Was great to be social and I'm sure we'll do it again soon. Hopefully we won't flip the car over though next time!

Very tame S day yesterday. We had a super early breakfast but then forgot our snacks for our off-roading day. We didn't eat again till 4:30 when we went out for sushi. We were starving and ordered a ton but it's hard to really overeat on sushi. We were stuffed but by the time we got home, I was fine again. Had a couple cookies before bed time but that's it.

My kids had a great time with their babysitter (her nickname is Mary Poopins). Was nice to have one on one time with hubby. He looks SO happy when he's out there in the desert driving his car. Unfortunately, he doesn't get a lot of time off but he's suppose to get a partner in April and hopefully that'll change soon.

Looks like I've come down with something so won't be able to eat much today anyway, but so nice to be able to eat unstructured for a couple of days.
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
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3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









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Post by chani8 » Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:18 pm

The car flipped over?! That sounds rather scary. Did it total the car? Reminds me of the last time DH and I went off-road...with our Renault. It wasn't supposed to be such an off-road road. I drove, and expert driver that I am, yeah right, we didn't get stuck in the middle of nowhere, but it was close, several times. We made to a highway and limped straight to a garage, where a mechanic spent an hour cleaning the rocks out.

I hope you get to feeling better so that you can enjoy your Yes S day.
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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Post by automatedeating » Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:50 pm

Linda,
What a great post! I felt like you were smiling the whole time. Nice to "see" you smiling. :)
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8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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6/20-22.5

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Post by jw » Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:14 pm

Wow, fun times off road! Your time off seems to have put you back in happy mode! Hope you feel better soon --
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jan 12, 2014 8:36 pm

Yes--thank you JW & auto. Definitely found my happy place again--yay! It's hard with DH working so much. Sometimes I feel like a single mom yet hesitate to say that since I don't have the same financial pressures as most single parents. Still easy to feel burnt out at times.

Chani, such a funny story & I love that you drove. Nobody was hurt and just a couple dents on the car that were easily banged out. We were in DHs rockcrawler that he built himself (took him 3yrs). It's made for flipping over and other crazy things. It's got a 5 point harness seatbelt so you just dangle there for a second till you figure out how to crawl out. This was his 5th time flipping it in the same spot (up a dried out waterfall) so wasn't a surprise exactly. First time for me though so a little thrilling! There were enough people to just push it back upright and we just kept on going! :)

Okay time to dive into that Godiva I've been saving in the frig. :)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
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3/19-163 lbs
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Post by chani8 » Sun Jan 12, 2014 9:39 pm

Just Wow that your DH built that himself!! I'm very impressed. Was it a kit car type thing? Started with a vw engine or something? Anyway, it's funny that he keeps flipping at the same spot! My DH learned his lesson and doesn't ask me to go off on any dirt roads anymore (until we buy a 4wd). lol
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jan 12, 2014 11:27 pm

No, it wasn't a kit chani. It has a Chevy engine and the rest he learned off the internet. He got a lot of great advice off of message boards. He's determined to get up that waterfall but next time I think I'll sit it out. ;)

Funny about your DH ;)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
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3/19-163 lbs
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:33 pm

Was going to post this on someone else's thread in response to something automated said about "first world problems". It was getting to long though so decided to post here:


I agree with auto. Life is tough at times no matter what your status may be. Here's a quote from a very powerful book called Buddhism for Mothers:

"...our higher standard of living can't spare us from suffering and imperfection...modern woman only experience new ways to suffer...for this is the nature of existence."

Not that life is all about suffering. Far from it but it doesn't help to deny its existence. In fact, doing so only makes it worse. We can't always help what happens to us but we can choose our response to what happens to us and that's where our true focus should be.

I realize so much of my suffering comes from trying to make things the way I think they should be instead of focusing on my response to the way things are. For example, I get SO frustrated w my childrens bickering. It makes me so angry that I should have to put it with it and all my energy goes into trying to get them to change. I wonder what would happen if I just accepted the fact that they fight a lot and focus on my response to that. I don't have to always respond with anger. I could respond wit curiosity or humor or just resign myself to the passing & inevitable storm.

Much thinking on this sick day!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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chani8
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Post by chani8 » Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:47 pm

Everything you wrote makes a lot of sense. I'd like to try to focus on my response to those things that upset me, too. I can't change anyone else, only myself. Sometimes changing my response is all that is needed to change the dynamics of the situation, but even if my response needs to be to just stay out of it, my goal is to do what it takes to let go of the frustration in me. I so much want to find my sense of humor and lightheartedness!

Thanks, Linda, for your very helpful and thought provoking post. I'm copying and pasting what I wrote here into my own thread to remind myself of this new goal, tomorrow. Good night!
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 13, 2014 9:58 pm

So funny Chani. I thinking we were posting in each others thread at the same time with words of thanks. Yay for gratitude!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by jw » Mon Jan 13, 2014 11:14 pm

"I wonder what would happen if I just accepted the fact that they fight a lot and focus on my response to that."

This in a nutshell expresses a whole school of therapy called cognitive therapy -- it lends itself to self-help and dealing with what is. It goes something like this: "All kids bicker sometimes. My kids are normal kids so they should bicker sometimes." It really defuses those unreal prescriptive thoughts we have about how things should be and lets you focus on your response, as you say, rather than on how you wish they were.

Judith Beck wrote several readable books whose names I have forgotten -- but in general she says that our expectations come before our emotions and when our (often distorted) expectations aren't met, we become depressed or angry. Her therapy addresses building realistic expectations and, by doing so, a better mood.
Edit: It was Aaron Beck and he dealt with depression -- Judith Beck is actually a cognitive therapy practitioner focused on dieting! Who knew?!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by automatedeating » Tue Jan 14, 2014 2:00 am

Thanks for these helpful thoughts about responding to the way things are, instead of wasting energy being frustrated for things not being the way I want them to be. In my house, a kid-thing would be frustration at constant interruption and neediness; response would recognizing that they will only need me like this for a few more years. I can do that.
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8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Jan 14, 2014 4:13 am

Thank you JW for that info. The mind is powerful stuff isn't it? Glad our conversation helped you a bit auto. Helped me relax around my kids today and of course they got on better than usual. In fact they're playing on their laptops in my oldest daughters bed right now quite happily.

Today was a fail. Not awful and I'm not terribly upset but just a little boggled. Not sure where all my wonderful motivation went but I'm just trying to drive into the skid and ride this out. My usual response would be to throw all my hard work and start fresh with some whole new plan. Luckily I don't feel like doing that either so that's a good sign.

I may give myself a new challenge to help motivate me. 200 day challenge anyone? :)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
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3/19-163 lbs
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Jan 14, 2014 1:39 pm

Hi Linda!

I l love jw's analogy and your use of "driving into the skid".

Not sure what to say about your waning motivation. You were such a powerhouse of motivation until the Holidays. I wonder if you do just keep riding out the skid, if you'll get a breath of new energy as we all recover from the Holidays a bit more!

And since you are about a month ahead of me in NoS, I know to watch carefully for what might happen to me next. :wink:
Month/Year-BMI
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8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 15, 2014 12:14 am

Thanks for stopping by my thread auto. I started writing this on your thread but then it started being all about me so decided to put it here instead:


Yeah it's hard not losing when you're being so compliant. I think I'm feeling that a little but right now. Even though I don't weigh, I can tell from my clothes I've stabilized a bit for now. I think that's part of why I'm wavering a bit now. Today reminded myself that nos tends to give silly slow results.

Also I remember that I was actually on a gaining trend before I started Nos. Where would I be now if I didn't try nos? 300 lbs? Not only did I stop gaining, but I've lost some weight all the while eating chips & dip, pizza and burgers.

I guess as much as I try not to focus on weight-loss it still creep is in now and then. I'm feeling much steadier today though. I have 202 days till I reach 1 yr on NoS so my goal is 202 days of green days. We'll see!

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 15, 2014 12:51 am

Linda,
Just realized that I had never posted about a comment you made about feeling like a single parent, but you didn't want to complain because you don't have the financial stressors of a single parent.

I'd like to chime in! :)

I have several friends (one a sister-in-law) married to doctors and they have definitely felt like a single parent. And I have a dear friend whose husband is a Navy officer and he is never home! She goes bonkers sometimes. Financial stressors aren't the only legitimate ones, that's for sure.

And I have two sisters and another close friend that truly are (or were for awhile) single parents and have had very difficult financial circumstances. However, in all those cases the dad was still in the picture and so my sisters and my friend actually got weekends (in some cases, weeks) with no kids at home! Since all these people were close to me, we could even joke about it--their social lives were leagues beyond anything I could even dream up on an exhausted Saturday night!

I certainly don't mean to imply you'd prefer that, I just think it's important to not discount our feelings by thinking, "oh it could be worse". That's true, I suppose, but it's almost like telling a kid to not worry about their old broken toy. To the kid, it's causing them to hurt inside.

Mister Rogers used to like to say to people, "This is an important conversation we're having" even if it was about something others might consider minor. It impacted his friends, because they knew he cared even about the little things.
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1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
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Post by jw » Wed Jan 15, 2014 11:56 am

I am sure your motivation will come back, Linda -- maybe setting the new goal is the answer. I know I staggered a little after my first red day, and again around the holidays when the constant S days really disrupted my habits. Just don't be hard on yourself!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 15, 2014 5:09 pm

Thank you auto for the support! Things aren't nearly as bad as when they were babies but I still need to remember to get in some grown up time so I don't get too burnt out. Love that you guys do a date night.

Thank you JW! Really helps me know that you were able to get back on track so quickly. I'm sure this is normal. I just need to stay steady & not panic. I'm feeling good although DH wanted to go for ice cream last night when we were out doing an errand.

Sounds lame but we rarely get to do anything spontaneous like that so I just didn't want to pass. I did it very consciously so just going to mark it & move on. 201 days challenge it is I guess! :D

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:00 am

Linda--you see so little of your husband that I think any outing with him could legitimately be declared an "S" day! I'm actually kind of serious...... :)
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:54 am

I know auto, I kind of thought about that too but since it was planned I couldn't really legitimize it. I did say to him "you know I'm breaking my NoS rules for you" just so he'd realize this wasn't going to be regular thing.

Today was green. 1/200

No issues, no wavering. Yay!

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
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Post by chani8 » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:54 am

Seems to me that a calculated choice is way better than mindless or impulsive eating. It is kind of hard to be the only one in the family No S'ing though, sometimes. I find I have to stop myself from telling others to not take seconds, or snacks, even. As if it's any of my business. <sigh>
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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Post by jw » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:50 am

It's a question of who's in control, you or the food. I think it's clear you were in control there, Linda! And you have months of commitment behind you that established your ability to control food. Congrats on day 1 of 201!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Jan 17, 2014 5:57 am

Green Day--2/200 (decided to go w a nice round number)

Thanks JW! Definitely feeling back in the groove. Looks like we were once again on the same page.

I'm driving to Los Angeles tomorrow to visit family with my girls (DH has to stay & work). On the drive I'm going to remember that I can choose my response to their behavior (fighting) instead of being angry about what is.

In prep for the weekend I was reading about S days and wanted to post this here because it's so helpful for me to remember:

"It has taken me over a year to even approach S Day sanity (slow learner). But I am okay with that. Someone here (wish I remebered who so I could give credit) said to me once, S days are there so we can practice what we are learning on N days. We take the training wheels off and try to pedal on our own. When I took the training wheels off my bikes I fell down for a while and scraped knees and stuff. But I learned and eventually I learned to fly down the street with the wind in my hair. That for me has been the essence and wonder of S day freedom.
S days keep me honest on N days to help me create habits.
S days keep me coming back when I flub up too much. I know I will never find that freedom on any other diet.
S days give me a chance to find out what I feel like when I overindulge like I used to.
S days help me see what motivates my overeating (read "insanity", "go nuts", "mindless", "binging", "check out the size of the treat", "buy just one"etc.
S days give me the democratic option to choose my own path and speed of change without fear of failure.

I can live within the confines of N Days but it is only when I finally feel in control of S days, that I have truly learned to control my eating.

In my opinion, this diet is not about the N days. It is about the S days. N days teach habit and S days are for practicing what we have learned. They are offered as a release and a treat (very tricky, Reinhard) but they are really the open book test each week of what we want for our lives. They say, "can I solo yet?"
(Posted by pangelsue)


This is such a great way to look at S days. Clearly I have a lot more practicing to do!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
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Post by chani8 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 7:06 am

Just had to share that I lived in LA, and even went to a few years of elementary school there, too. We lived about 5 minutes from the tar pits museum, if you know where that is.

Thank you for posting pangelsue's quote. If I may ask, what do you find hardest about Yes S days?

Hope your girls behave nicely for you, or even better, that you have a great time no matter how they behave! :)

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Post by automatedeating » Fri Jan 17, 2014 8:58 am

Great stuff to post by pangelsue!

Hope you have a great, "responsive" weekend with your wonderful girls!
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8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:56 pm

Hi chani! So cool! I've been to that museum many times. Did you grow up in the fairfax district maybe? DHs family lives fairly close to there in Brentwood. I grew up in Manhattan Beach which is maybe 45 mins away.

Btw, not sure if you ever got an answer about the meaning of vanila-S, but it's just following the original NoS rules with no modifications.

Thank you auto--have a great weekend with your boys!

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:28 pm

Crazy weekend with tons of driving. 7 hrs to redondo beach where our hotel was. Very cute little room with an ocean view so that was great.

The next morning we went to visit SIL in the Hollywood hills which was an hour each way in some traffic of course. We had a nice visit though and came back to the hotel for a dip in the jacuzzi and then a fish dinner on the pier with my mom.

Sunday morning we drove to my mom's house which was only about 30 mins a way and all along the coast so not bad, but then we had to drive back to az that afternoon. We stopped at the outlets near Palm Springs to do some shopping.

I'm starting to worry about my youngest daughter who is getting a bit chubby. I would never say anything or try to put her on a diet or anything but it's hard not to worry. I don't want her to suffer like I did. Her older sister has a body like a models (and the fashion sense too) so everything she tries on looks amazing on her. My younger daughter has a hard time finding clothes because she's short too like me so it's tough when we all go shopping.

On the plus side, since nobody in this family emphasizes thinness or restricts foods, she's very confident in herself and I've never heard her say anything negative about her body. She's also quite beautiful and knows it. I'm just going to continue to serve healthy well-balanced meals & snacks and hope her body gets to a healthy size for her. I am going to make a bit more effort to be active as a family as we get really lazy at times.

Anyway we finally got home about 8 hrs after we left LA. I overate a bit when I got home but I didn't have time to snack all weekend. Just meals with a couple of small sweet treats so that's good. Of course there's nothing like going to the beach to make one feel self-conscious about ones body. Everyone is thin and fit (or so it seems).

I'm starting to worry im not going to lose any more weight. Seems like everyone on nos starts to calorie count or use smaller plates or replace foods with veggies. I'm not willing to do those things. I just can't go there to that overly restrictive, miserable place again so I may just have to learn to live with the body I have right now.

I'm also feeling like I should go back to work but it's been so long since I've been in the workplace that I have no idea where to start. Maybe volunteer work is the way to go. Lots to think about but it's good to vent a bit. Today is a holiday but not taking an S day. And no driving today!

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by eschano » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:40 pm

Lpearlmom wrote: I've never heard her say anything negative about her body. She's also quite beautiful and knows it.

I'm starting to worry im not going to lose any more weight. Seems like everyone on nos starts to calorie count or use smaller plates or replace foods with veggies.

Maybe volunteer work is the way to go. Lots to think about but it's good to vent a bit.
Hi Linda,
I love that quote about your daughter and how you've never heard her say anything negative about her body, what a beautiful compliment for your parenting! Your solutions seem great as well.

Ehm, I'm not doing any of the above. In fact, I realised my S days are even longer than others' (Fri dinner-Sun bedtime). You will lose more weight! Just slowly - so don't let impatience get in the way. Impatience should start with an S so I'd realise I'm only allowed it in small measures.

Volunteering is fun! I hope you find something great. It also takes the mind away from eating/weight/etc.
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:57 pm

Thank you eschano for the support! So sweet and exactly what I needed to hear right now. I just need to give this some time. *deep breath* :)

Have a great day!

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
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Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:43 pm

Yes, give it time Linda! Eschano has repeatedly encouraged others about her plateaus (sometimes 4-5 months long!). And I think you and I are on the same page as far as loving the body we've got anyway!! :) And we're also on the same page as many here in not wanting to restrict more than the basics. I think we see a lot of the people that use mods posting, but there are a lot of regular NoSers that are quietly content.

Also, isn't your younger daughter 8? or 10? In either case, some kids chub up real good :) right as they are about to hit puberty. When I taught 5th-8th grade, I thought some of my 5th and 6th graders were chubby and then had to "eat" my rude thoughts when they totally blossomed, grew, whatever. Might not be true about your daughter, but maybe it's a possibility. And your solution (serving healthy, regular-timed meals) is the appropriate thing to do either way!

I've heard so many moms tell me that they always imagined their kids really needed them in elementary school, but in hindsight, realized how much their teenagers needed an adult around all the time. Something else to consider as you decide job-stuff. Not to discourage you, but I get the sense that you feel you "ought" to get a job, not that you "want" to get a job. I'd like to encourage you by telling you what a precious gift it is for your whole family that you are a solid at-home presence!

And lastly, sounds like you had an exhausting (but fun) weekend. Hope you get rested up this week!
:wink:
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 20, 2014 4:14 pm

Okay auto I'm embarrassed to say I teared up a little when I read your post. Thank you for helping me to put things into prospective. My youngest daughter, Talia, is 8 and may just be filling out before puberty. I saw that with myself as a child and some of my older daughter, Zoe, friends. I just need to stay the course with her and myself.

Also, you are so right about the job thing. It definitely feels like a "should" thing instead of a "want" or even "need" thing. I remember my old neighbor quitting her job when her kids hit their teens because they really needed her at home more than ever. Not that everyone needs or should do it but I guess I should realize what a plus it can be.

I think maybe the solution might be to start a cooking/homemaking blog so I can feel like I'm adding something while continuing to do what I love. It's nice to participate on some level I think.

Thanks again for the kind words. Hopefully I can catch up on everyone's threads today!

Linda :)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by chani8 » Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:49 pm

I think it's good to pursue your hobbies or volunteer work, or whatever you want to do, because frankly, boredom sucks. If you're not bored or restless, then you probably don't need to change anything.
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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Post by jw » Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:48 pm

You're back! Sounds like a nice visit, though a lot of driving. As for re-entering the workforce, if you're in a position to choose, do what makes you happy, I say. Is there a job or a cause out there that really excites you? Go for it!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:39 am

Thanks for the encouragement chani & JW. Luckily I'm not bored. I don't understand boredom. Loving to read means there's always something interesting to do especially with the invention of kindles!

Sometimes I feel like I should doing more. I think I'm just experiencing a little lull in my life. Still adjusting to the move and figuring out how I want to spend my free time now that my kids are getting a little more independent. With DH working so much it's nice to be around for all those half, sick and vacation days. I swear do they ever go to school.

So flexibility is key. I'll figure it out. Last time I wanted something new to do, I ended up going to culinary school. So who knows! Patience seems to be the new theme for me.

Anyway, today was a green day but ate too much at dinner. Also I didn't manage to get my exercise in today. Seems to be hard for me when the kids are home so I think the key will be to do some sort of group exercise on those days.

Looking forward to some kid-free time tomorrow!!!

Update:
NoS-6/200
Anger Management--11/21 (yay!!)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
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3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









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Post by chani8 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 6:08 am

LOL on the 'do they ever go to school?' I also ask, do they ever learn anything?! Seems they spend more time doing fun activities than real learning. Homeschoolers claim that you can teach your kids all of elementary math in less than 3 months.

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Post by eschano » Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:36 pm

automatedeating wrote:Yes, give it time Linda! Eschano has repeatedly encouraged others about her plateaus (sometimes 4-5 months long!).
Auto is completely right. The longest plateau lasted 5 1/2 months!! I just went back and had a proper look at it. It was March until mid-September. Just stick with the habits and be happy and the rest will follow! Even if slowly.

My biggest mistake was to go on a Intuitive Eating excursion this December instead of NoS - immediately went back to my March weight but happy to report that NoS loss is hardier - nearly back to my low point :) I had to learn the hard way to be patient and stick with Vanilla so you don't have to :wink:
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:02 pm

Thank you so much for the encouragement eschano. I'm definitely going to hang in there.

I know all about IE & weight gain--ugh! That's one of those things that sounds good on paper but just doesn't work in real life. NoS on the other hand has so much more than meets the eye.

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jan 25, 2014 6:31 am

Green week yay! Badly in need of chocolate though! Need to get back on track with exercise but I realize that sporadic exercise is still better than none. In the past it was all or nothing but that kind of black & white thinking can be so limiting so I'm pushing onward.

Things are looking up otherwise. Making more social connections and even decided to throw a valentines day party for my girls so I can hopefully meet some of the parents. It's been hard to plan play dates for my kids since we started the new school. I wouldn't let them invite any of their old friends. I sure hope somebody shows up!

Also, Sunday I'm going to an interior decorating workshop. I couldn't find anyone to go with me but I'm going to brave it alone. Yay me!

Only negative is that all this recent talk around here about not losing weight and calorie counting has me a little spooked but what else am I going to do besides NoS so I'm not going to let it get me down.

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by jw » Sat Jan 25, 2014 2:04 pm

Trust your body, Linda. As you know, I added a few pounds over the holidays and there they still are -- but the temperatures have been in the negative numbers for weeks, I have to think my body knows what it is doing!

I hope with new activities and a jump start to your social life, you won't have time to even think about counting calories! Enjoy that chocolate!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by automatedeating » Sat Jan 25, 2014 2:28 pm

That is so smart of you to have some of the school kids and their parents over. You are a resourceful woman! :)

And I'm so proud of you for going to that decorating class by yourself. I am sure you will love that! Plus it gives you some very-much-needed time away from your normal duties.

I am starting to think that a lot of the talk on the boards is still reflective of Holiday non-compliance. Let's say someone didn't really comply with NoS during the Holidays--that ended less than a month ago. That's not much time to see weight loss, even if they did "recomply" with NoS principles for all of January.

I think this time period right now is exactly why NoS requires patience for adherence. Other diets require steadfastness to keep up the deprivation, NoS just requires patience to see results. I still think if you wait until your 1-year NoS anniversary, that will be a fair shake to have given basic NoS. Worst case scenario? You have lost a clothes size that isn't rapidly going to be gained back. Best case scenario? You have lost even more than that, and are feeling confident to commit to NoS for another few months.

And like you noticed on my thread, my weight has dropped again. My plateau only lasted 1.5 months, in hindsight. It's impressive that eschano had 5 months of patience! She is my "NoS Plateau Role-Model". Hehe
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:07 am

Thank you auto & JW both for the encouragement. One year sounds like a great time to really see where I'm at with NoS. As my DH always says " make a plan, stick with the plan." That's his mantra and he's someone whose had a ton of success largely due to his tenacity.

The class was super fun and the other ladies were very nice. I bought a lot of stuff but when I brought it home realized half of it didn't work. That's okay though, I can exchange it but I may have got a little carried away.

This weekend was fine eating wise but boy do I suddenly feel burnt out on parenting. DH didn't get home till late Saturday night and I fought with Zoe all day. I was really looking forward to my break on Sunday but when I got home from my class the girls were cranky because the babysitter didn't really interact with them.

Last time this sitter watched tv & played on their computers the entire time so this time I hid the remote and their laptops, but they said she was on her phone most of the time. Oh well I won't use her again. Anyway, the kids were needy instead of refreshed and happy like with our other babysitter (whose nickname is Mary Poppins).

I'm rambling but I'm just so burnt out. I'm going through the motions of parenting but I really just want to lie in bed and read for a day. I wish I could take tomorrow "off" but Talia fell of the swings yesterday and I have to bring her to the doctors for an X-ray. Oh well I will make some time in the morning to relax.

I'm glad my S days were sane at least!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
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3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
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Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:55 pm

Linda, I hope you have a great week, and that Talia's X-Ray turns out OK!

I totally get how you feel about parenting right now. I'm right there with ya'.

You've probably heard former alcoholics say that they would wake up everyday and promise to not drink again? Well, I wake up many days and promise myself I will be more patient to my kids. Then I just "fall off the good-parent" wagon into the poop on the side of the road. :?

Here's to a good week, with maybe you getting a little time to read in bed!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

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Post by chani8 » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:12 pm

Every child needs a Marry Poppins in their life, that's for sure. Getting all that attention and interaction is so good for them.

Mommies need attention, too. When we have to give, give, give and aren't getting our own tanks filled up, we can run out of gas. So I hope you do get some me-time in somehow.

Hope everything is ok with your DD's xray.

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Post by Sinnie » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:27 pm

Linda, I actually really understand what you're saying. I have a just-turned 17 year old step daughter who lives with us, and although she is sort of independent, she is still very needy. Because DH works so much, I am with her a lot. He has a lot of problems with her, so the house can be very stressful at times. In the past, I would just cry I felt so enclosed in these 4 walls. I am not really a "parent" to her, so I don't have that type of stress, but it can feel like all I do goes unnoticed at times. It has gotten much better though, especially with the baby. I read your words, and understand them completely, and I look at my precious baby and wonder what the future holds for us.

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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:48 pm

Thanks chani and auto.

Thank you for sharing about your struggles auto. I pretty much do the same thing everyday too. I guess it's just plain hard hard being a mom! I realized this morning that a lot of my conflict with Zoe comes from my nagging her. I decided to nag less & let her experience more natural consequences.

DDs wrist actually felt much better today so we just wrapped it and going to keep an eye on it. So yes chani going to try to fill up my tank a little today. Going to do the bare minimum today and then sit outside and do some reading. Maybe even take a bubble bath!

Yay!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:06 am

Well yesterday was a reddish day. Not sure how to mark it. Sometimes I wish the habitcal had an orange option.

I mistakingly made my hair appt yesterday for 11:45. I was running late so grabbed a tiny ramekin of mac&cheese before dashing out the door. On the way I grabbed coffee & a slice of coffee cake figuring it would def fit on one plate. Well by 330 I was starving and just couldn't wait. I had a piece of sushi & 1 taquito. So all together not much food but too spread out to be considered one meal. I'll definitely plan better next time!

When I sat in the chair at the salon, I definitely felt chubby and a little discouraged. Still I can remember just a short time ago when I completely felt horrified not just a little discouraged so I guess that's progress. Later when I was at the grocery store, I remembered how much I enjoy being able to buy "normal" food as opposed to diet food. I decided if this slightly disappointing body is the trade-off then so be it.

Besides whose to say I won't lose more weight over the next few years. I'm betting I will so I decided to not worry about it period for awhile. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and just tighten down my vanillaness a bit. I've been taking a few too many tastes during food prep & that needs to stop but other than that I don't need to change anything. I'm going to be brave and weigh myself at the one year mark. I can decide if I want/need to change my course of direction at that time but till then onward!

Today I tackled our finances head on and cannot believe how much better I feel. Our spending has been a bit out of control since the move but today I got us back on a budget, paid off a bunch of credit cards and have a new savings plan. *phew* such a relief!

I also want to go back to the basics of NoS which for me means writing my food/exercise again.

Break: break burrito mocha
Lunch: leftover Chinese food (moderate amount)
Another mocha--nonfat
Dinner: coconut chicken on rice, couple pieces sushi, sangria

Exercise: 1 mile on row machine.

Feels great to be back on track with things!!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Jan 31, 2014 4:01 am

Green day

Break: cornflakes w fruit, 2 pieces bacon, coffee w cream
Lunch: coconut chicken over rice, sushi
More coffee w cream
Dinner: 1/2 meatball sandwich, 1/2 Italian sub, chips

Big dinner but was starving. Didn't feel like too much at all.

Exercise: rowed 1 mile

Anger management: green
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by chani8 » Fri Jan 31, 2014 5:27 am

Love those green days!! Great job!

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Post by jw » Fri Jan 31, 2014 11:37 am

Sounds like you have new energy for this, Linda!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by automatedeating » Fri Jan 31, 2014 2:39 pm

Looks like you're feelin' pretty good. :)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:18 am

Thank you chani, auto & JW. Definitely feeling a renewal of energy.

Green day.

Break: toast w pb & honey, 1 piece of bacon, coffee w cream
Lunch: chicken burrito, chips & guacamole
Mocha
Dinner: plate of Hawaiian BBQ

Exercise: row 1 mile

A.M. (Anger management): green

Need chocolate! After midnight chocolate date perhaps?
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
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3/19-163 lbs
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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Feb 02, 2014 5:39 am

Pretty Good S day. I had chocolate before breakfast & definitely ate what I wanted today, but don't feel like it was too over the top.

Break: chocolate bar, 2 pieces toast, watermelon, coffee w cream
Lunch: 3 pieces of pizza, more chocolate
Dinner: few bites of leftovers, several Girl Scout cookies, couple handful of chips w dip.

Exercise: none--total lazy butt today, but had fun with some old friends who came over to visit.
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
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Post by chani8 » Sun Feb 02, 2014 6:14 pm

L'Chaim, L'Chocolate!! ;)
`Chani8
I'm a 44yo, married, Jewish, mother, and foster mom, living in Israel. I eat low carb, count calories, eat 'clean', love kosher, and live primal. I workout impulsively. I'm new to the No S Diet and I love it!

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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:03 am

Hehe chani :lol: definitely got my chocolate fix this weekend. In fact overdid it a bit but overall the weekend wasn't too bad. I think I definitely just need to eat in an unstructured way sometimes.

We were lazy again today but at least I did make it to the store. I'm feeling guilty about not being more active with my kids. I feel like we should be out there hiking & riding bikes but when the weekend comes around, I just feel like taking it easy. Probably just from all that running around to their different activities during the week.

Oh well, something to work towards. Next weekend we're suppose to be having our valentines day party but only one mom has rsvped. Yikes! Then Sunday we have a baby shower to attend so at least we won't be so lazy. Valentines weekend DH & I are going to Sedona while my mom watches the girls. I'm SO excited! Maybe the weekend after that I can plan a special activity for them.

Break: toast w avocado, coffee w steamed milk
Bite of pizza, bite of chicken, 1/2 chocolate bar, chips& dip
Mocha
Chili w cheese & Fritos, coke
Hot fudge sundae

AM: green (barely)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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Post by Sinnie » Mon Feb 03, 2014 1:40 pm

You are such a wonderful mother. So thoughtful and eager to please. I have an amazing mother, in fact she is my best friend, but she never planned activities for us - we were on our own lol. It is apparent you try hard and it will pay dividends in the future.

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Feb 04, 2014 3:56 am

Thank you Sinnie!! I probably do overthink everything too much. There are just so many variables to raising kids and it's pretty much impossible to get them all right. Just frustrating but I just have to keep doing my best.

Green day

Break: oatmeal w fruit, mocha
Lunch: Asian salad w avocado, piece of toast, apple
Dinner: coq au vin, spinach salad, crackers w trout pate, sangria (was 1 plate but got very full!)

Exercise: rowing 1 mile

AM: green--getting better at communicating my frustrations with Zoe without losing my patience.

Update: had a little ice cream. Ugh.. Mark it & move on.
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
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3/19-163 lbs
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Post by eschano » Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:56 am

Lpearlmom wrote:I just have to keep doing my best.
That already qualifies you as a mummy of the year in my books!
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

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Post by Sinnie » Tue Feb 04, 2014 3:29 pm

Hey Linda, I think I read somewhere that you do the Fly Lady system. I read about it in the past but never implemented anything. I found the site a little boggled and confusing. WOuld you mind sharing your daily routines?! Thank you!!!

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Post by automatedeating » Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:02 pm

Sinnie--That is funny. I have used flylady in the past, and it is somewhat paradoxical that her website is so overstimulating when the routines are very straightforward. I noticed somewhere that Linda recommended the book rather than the website!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Feb 04, 2014 9:03 pm

Thank you SO much eschano!!

Yes Sinnie, auto is right about the book being much better than the flylady website. I read the book and was able to take off with it right away. It goes along with NoS in that it's all about habits and fences.

For example, Monday is my Desk Day so when to-do stuff comes up during the week regarding finances, I don't have to stress about it. I just put it on my Monday list. Same with errands (Fridays), Misc. (Wens). Of course if it's urgent I'll do it right away but usually it's not. Here's how my week looks:

Daily Morning Routine
1) make bed
2) shower
3) throw in load of laundry
4) make breakfast
5) clean up breakfast

Nightly routine
1) dishes
2) wipe down counters & stove
3) pick up main living areas if needed

Additional Routines

Monday:
1)Desk Day--emails, phone calls, bills, paperwork (30 mins max)
2) fold/put away laundry
3) vacuum
4) zone 15 mins (deep cleaning in different areas of house--website has list)
5) declutter 10 things

Tuesday
1)clean house from top to bottom (her website has list of this)
2) Fold/put away laundry
3) zone 15 mins
4) declutter 10 things

Wednesday
1) Misc stuff I need to take care of
2) Laundry
3) clean out Frig--15 mins
4) water plants
5) vacuum
6) zone
7) declutter

Thursday
1) iron
2) clean out car 15 mins
3) laundry
4) make grocery list
5) change sheets & hand towels

Friday--Errand Day
Grocery store, car wash, bookstore etc


I keep my routines in a three ring folder in plastic sleeves. I have sticky notes on each day so I can write stuff that need to be taken care of on those days as they come up. For example on Monday right now I have "taxes" written on that sticky note.

I also have list of zones which is just a weekly rotation of deep cleaning. You can find that in her book or website. Same with the Tuesday top to bottom clean.

Okay probably more than you wanted to know! Remember I stay home and I don't have a baby so you'd want to modify this to your needs!

Happy Cleaning!

Linda :)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









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Post by automatedeating » Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:15 am

This is awesome! Thanks for sharing this, Linda. It is truly impressive. You even have cleaning out your car on there! My car is a microbiology experiment.......
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Feb 05, 2014 5:04 am

Np--auto! I hear you about the car thing. My car drives my hubby crazy and he always says "how can someone who alphabetizes her spice rack, have such a messy car?!" It definitely has a lot to do with the kids or at least that's my excuse.

Anyway today was much better than yesterday. In trying to figure out why I'm starting to slip a little, I realize in the beginning of doing NoS I expected it to be hard but well worth it. I was ready for the challenge.

Well somehow along the way I changed my expectations and started thinking this should be easy now. I got frustrated and wanted to give in when it felt hard. Well no guess what it's still hard (at times) and it's still well worth it so I just have to stay up for the challenge.

Break:
Cereal, fruit, mocha
Lunch: coq au vin, crackers & dip, apple
More coffee w stuff in it
Dinner: tamale pie, chips & guacamole

Exercise: rowing 1 mile

AM: green--wow was this tough. Zoe had a total meltdown because she forgot her reading book at school. I finally calmed her down & showed her how to download it on her laptop. Was tough not to lose it because I was trying to help her & she was being so snappy & rude to me. Omg!!
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









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Post by jw » Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:09 am

Great list, Linda -- after a few days on flylady, I have to say I am making progress with a daily morning and evening routine and a 15-minute declutter, but the website itself is unmanageable and the emails I signed up for never started (may be a good thing!) Seeing your routine is inspiring . . .

And LOL about the car! For me, it's just a big purse on wheels!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:17 pm

Congrats on your patience with your daughter, Linda! You have really been working hard in that area--kudos to you for showing your kids love by managing your temper.

And re: NoS not always being easy, that's excellent advice for me. I don't suppose we'll ever get to a point where it literally takes no effort to eat moderately in our culture. The opportunities around us to eat are anything but moderate, so self-restraint becomes necessary, even if it does become routine habit to restrain ourselves (if that makes sense!)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

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Post by Sinnie » Wed Feb 05, 2014 2:48 pm

WOW Linda, thank you for posting your routine in such detail. It amazes me that you have everything under such control. I remember flylady also used to have something called swish and swipe I think - do you clean the toilets everyday like that? I hope I can work towards an efficient schedule like you have. Seems so overwhelming! Nicely done my friend :)

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Feb 05, 2014 10:27 pm

Yay JW so glad you're getting something out of Flylady! I use my timer a lot when there's something I really don't feel like tackling. The thought of cleaning out my entire closet may sound overwhelming but 15 mins? I can do that and it's amazing how much I end up getting done.

Hate the website and the emails are worse. The book is fantastic and to the point. I think you can get a used copy on amazon for about $3.

Thank you auto. It's SO hard, but making some progress so that's all I can do.

Sinnie, it's taken me 10 years of motherhood to get to where I want to be as far as running my household. I don't do the swish & swipe or the shiny sink thing because we have someone who comes in and does deep cleaning once/wk. I do just wipe up as needed in between.

I also never leave things out just in case I need them for later. I make sure the basics are done before I do anything else. No more " ill do that later with basic stuff (morn/night routine & general putting the way of items) because later never comes or it comes at midnight when you're exhausted. I do let certain areas get messy (kids bedroom, playroom, DHs desk) and keep the rest of the house spotless.

Okay I guess you can see I'm pretty passionate about this stuff. I think I was born in the wrong era! :D
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Feb 06, 2014 3:40 am

Green

Break: poached egg, toast, mocha
Lunch: Tamale pie, chips & guacamole, apple
Another mocha
Dinner: choucroute, pita pizza, fruit

Exercise: none (early appt)
AM; green (amazingly... Zoe had a major meltdown over her hair this morning!)
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

jw
Posts: 844
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 7:27 pm
Location: PA

Post by jw » Thu Feb 06, 2014 11:34 am

Later never comes is right, Linda! I can postpone indefinitely, especially if things look superficially neat -- thanks again for steering me to flylady. I am pretty much sticking to kitchen and bathroom routines and doing the 15-minute/day cleanup in the other rooms. Amazing what a difference it makes after just a few days!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

automatedeating
Posts: 4548
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:36 pm

Good that you can laugh over Zoe's meltdown. My 8 yr old is a drama major, for sure. I have a video of him having a meltdown. Sometimes I watch it when I'm calm just to remind myself that the kid is INTENSE and it's no use trying to rationalize him out of his meltdowns. (And I laugh, too, when I watch it, sort of chortling at how difficult he can be). Helps me keep it in perspective when the next meltdown comes.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

chani8
Posts: 244
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:33 pm
Location: israel

Post by chani8 » Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:47 am

I found the book "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" to give great help on avoiding meltdowns. Rarely had problems since then, until teen years.

automatedeating
Posts: 4548
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Fri Feb 07, 2014 2:47 pm

I loved that book! But it definitely doesn't stop a meltdown by my kids. I wonder if you mean it helps stop "parent -provoked" meltdowns. It just helps me not worry about them while they are flipping out! :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5

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lpearlmom
Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Feb 08, 2014 6:34 am

Yeah I love that book too but didnt really work with my kids either. Or probably I'm not patient enough to implement the techniques correctly. You are right though, auto, Zoe's just one intense kid.

She also has a very active imagination which is great for writing stories but also means she often imagines worse case scenarios and gets herself all worked up unnecessarily. Anyway I just have to take it day by day with her. We had a great day today so I'm good for now.

Tomorrow is our valentines day party and I'm pretty excited. I baked cupcakes and did some decorating so hopefully I won't be too frantic tomorrow.

Green Day
Break: scrambled eggs, toast, mocha
Lunch: cup of soup, bagel & cream cheese
Another mocha
Dinner: plate of Chinese food

Exercise: none (felt exhausted today)

ANger manage: green
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

chani8
Posts: 244
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:33 pm
Location: israel

Post by chani8 » Sat Feb 08, 2014 8:13 pm

Fantastic green day, Linda! Yummy menu.

Good luck with that valentines day party! Sounds so cute!

Glad you had a good day with your DD. You really understand her, it seems.

jw
Posts: 844
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 7:27 pm
Location: PA

Post by jw » Sat Feb 08, 2014 9:52 pm

Hope the Valentine's Day party goes off well, Linda -- lots of fun, no drama, and plenty of lovely S's for all!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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lpearlmom
Posts: 4422
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Feb 09, 2014 5:05 am

Thank you guys!!! The party was a blast. I'm really proud of myself. Everything looked so cute & the kids had a great time. Wish I could post pictures but just imagine lots of pink, red & white and a ridiculous amount of sugar.

Got to meet some moms from the new school and they were super nice. All around a success. I was too busy to eat much all day & the girls were too busy to fight--yay! Not exactly looking forward to the baby shower tomorrow as it's an hour drive & DH has to work. Hopefully it'll end up being fun though.
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
3/18-160 lbs.
3/19-163 lbs
3/20 167.7 lbs









Instagram "lpearlmom"

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