finallyfulldailycheckin

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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jw
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Post by jw » Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:57 pm

I love your expression, "the mind goes shopping." That's exactly what it is! And it's as dangerous as the catalogs that come in the mail, showing you things you never knew you wanted until you saw them!

I usually opt for hot tea, but I'll try water. They say thirst often masquerades as hunger.
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Nov 26, 2013 4:00 pm

You are doing great and learning a lot about yourself in the process. The simple goal of having a certain amount of green days can go a long way towards motivation especially in the beginning.

Now I just don't want to give up the sanity NoS gives me. Not worth a couple of bites when I know a really satisfying meal is right around the corner!

Anyway, keep up the good work!

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Post by finallyfull » Wed Nov 27, 2013 2:58 pm

I was very hungry the other day and came to the realization that I am no longer even bothered by hunger! Yes, it makes me want to eat, but it used to trigger a thought that went something like "uh oh, I'm hungry! I need lots of food as soon as possible!" Now the thought goes: wow, I can't believe it took me this long to get hungry! I am glad to know I can even go an hour or even a few without any problem. Thanks Reinhart!"

Hunger has never been my problem -- fake hunger has. But I'm still glad to know that real hunger is not what I thought it was. At least not in my situation as a middle class person in this century. I know I'll eat. So it's nothing but a signal that I will REALLY enjoy my next meal, whenever it happens to be.

(Also I know now that a moderate meal ALWAYS satisfies my true hunger. I know for sure that eating more "because I'm hungry" is not necessary for me. If I'm immediately wanting food when I'm done, I can bet my first born that I've eaten too fast.)

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Post by Aprilsparrow » Wed Nov 27, 2013 3:33 pm

finallyfull wrote: Hunger has never been my problem -- fake hunger has. But I'm still glad to know that real hunger is not what I thought it was. At least not in my situation as a middle class person in this century. I know I'll eat. So it's nothing but a signal that I will REALLY enjoy my next meal, whenever it happens to be.
I really like what you said here. I am beginning to feel the same way. That I have never experienced real hunger before. Because I have always had plenty of food. Knowing that my next meal is not that far away and that I don't have to snack or eat anything until then is so helpful. It helps with my anxiety. Instead of eating because I am anxious. I don't feel anxious because my next meal is around the corner.

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Post by finallyfull » Tue Dec 03, 2013 2:36 pm

Spending more time lately noticing the fact that I am in need of soothing, comfort, love, etc. for various reasons. Spending more time seeking out those things. 100% sure I would be far less in touch with that need without No S because the reason I notice is that I don't snack it away! My go-to temporary fix is gone, so I am left with the truth. When I am stalking around the kitchen or find myself wanting food when I'm not hungry, I bump into the plain truth: I want SOMETHING. Then I think about what it is, and why. This is pretty big, and far more important than my physical body. I am getting to know myself better and taking better care of my soul. A very small side benefit is that I am not putting unnecessary and sometimes harmful extras into my physical body. Yes, I still want food, but I know the voice is a liar trying to trick me out of getting what I really need. I have a competing, wiser, kinder voice that is growing in strength.

I would never have gotten to this place if I had not pushed past the veneer of lies that I tell myself (I'm hungry, I'm hungry "for" something specific) and more importantly making the switch from vanity-based changes (I want a sleeker physique) to whole-life changes (I want to heal and nurture myself and live the best life that I can, and appreciate all my blessings).

I could never have gotten to this in a few weeks or months. I wonder if there are more lessons next year that I can't see now?

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Post by jw » Tue Dec 03, 2013 3:07 pm

beautiful post, finallyfull!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by kccc » Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:15 pm

I agree with jw - beautiful!

You have put into words one of the unexpected and incredibly important side benefits of No-S. Hard to explain sometimes, but you did a GREAT job!

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Post by finallyfull » Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:29 pm

I want to remember this: when I get very hungry and then eat a moderate meal, within the half hour to hour, I get a very pleasant general sense of well being.

I don't experience this otherwise, and hadn't noticed it before.

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Post by finallyfull » Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:19 pm

Green week. I am starting to think that even though N days are a habit, I will always have an impulse to snack, just like I always will have an impulse to buy things I can't really afford, or stay in bed longer. I don't ask myself daily "when, oh, when will I wake up and actually FEEL like getting up?" because the answer is never. That's life (for me, I love sleep!). And so I tear myself out of paradise and go start my day, no big whoop. I am now doing the same with food.

Pretty easy N week. Now it's Saturday and I realized the other day that the reason I don't like S days is they are "disordered". Yes, I seek the chaos, but I don't want it once I'm done. Our grandparents did not have disordered weekends, and that was because of cultural structure, not because they were on a diet. So I am considering,... just considering.... nudging myself toward rules on weekends. Why? Not to lose weight -- that wouldn't work. But because a modicum of discipline is needed for a good life. Our modern cultural food values play right into our impulses and cheat us out of goodness. I want peace on weekends. Peace peace peace. Disorder is just a waste of my good mood.

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Post by wosnes » Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:55 pm

finallyfull wrote:
Pretty easy N week. Now it's Saturday and I realized the other day that the reason I don't like S days is they are "disordered". Yes, I seek the chaos, but I don't want it once I'm done. Our grandparents did not have disordered weekends, and that was because of cultural structure, not because they were on a diet. So I am considering,... just considering.... nudging myself toward rules on weekends. Why? Not to lose weight -- that wouldn't work. But because a modicum of discipline is needed for a good life. Our modern cultural food values play right into our impulses and cheat us out of goodness. I want peace on weekends. Peace peace peace. Disorder is just a waste of my good mood.
I haven't read enough of your posts to find out what your Ss are on weekends, but I only have sweets after a meal and I aim to avoid snacks ALL days. I don't even consider these "rules," just a moderate or disciplined way to indulge.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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Post by finallyfull » Tue Dec 10, 2013 5:41 pm

Wosnes: I aim for the same. Aim being the key word! I just had a three day free for all. What the heck? Not sure. It almost felt like I went off a diet, but I'm not on a diet. I had two days of Christmas parties, and "appetizers" often throw me because they break up the rhythm. I'm just chalking it up to the universe letting me know that perfection is not ever an option. Then Monday, a rare red day, was a WTH, which I went into eyes wide open like a kid in a candy store.

Tantrum over, back to sanity. I had SO much peace knowing that a year of being pretty darn sane could not possibly come undone by one over the top weekend or one red day. That is one of the best things about No S. Any fear or guilt is hugely reduced, for me.

Looking forward to more sanity. Hoping my little rebellion was just that.

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:48 am

finallyfull, I think we could have some fun psychoanalysis of your last post, and then your wth free-for-all. Do you think there's a connection between your thoughts of imposing rules on the weekends that might have caused the fail on Monday?

But the funny part of reading your last 2 posts (and wosnes reply) is that I was thinking, yeah, cool, I should do that too! And then I read about your wth day and thought... .hmm maybe vanilla is still for me. :)
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Post by finallyfull » Wed Dec 11, 2013 4:19 pm

automated: I think the idea of rules may have been a factor, although I think two parties in a row followed by a trigger spot (big reading assignment) on Monday had more to do with it. I will lie down on a couch though, if you want to explore further!

I don't want to impose rules on weekends, I think vanilla is clearly for me, yet I am really longing for order on weekends. I do know that "free for all" weekends are not what our grandparents did, nor do they make any sense. I normally do not go crazy on weekends, but I do find my order breaks into some chaos and I truly do not like that. I am wondering if there is something, some happy medium, between "rules" and "if it feels good, do it" for weekends, but I don't want to jump ahead of myself.

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Post by jw » Wed Dec 11, 2013 6:11 pm

"Yes, I seek the chaos, but I don't want it once I'm done."

Nobody wants anything excessive or dangerous once they're done. The trick is not to want it before you start! I am serious -- I think if you still want it on weekends, then keep doing it -- so that you won't do it on N days.

(I also think you may want it less and less as time goes on -- that has been true for me.)

But don't dial the rules up. Even in the army they get to stand at ease sometimes, and fall out sometimes, and they even get weekend passes! Why not us?
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by finallyfull » Wed Dec 11, 2013 10:11 pm

Okay okay -- no S rules for me!

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Post by finallyfull » Thu Dec 19, 2013 1:29 pm

hard won green day yesterday. Glad I stuck to it. I felt really hungry, and it turned out I needed a big cry. Much healthier.

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Post by NoSnacker » Thu Dec 19, 2013 1:57 pm

Good job on beating a binge!! A good cry is always so much better :)

P.S. I struggled last weekend trying to keep my S day as normal as N day with one sweet...

Well that did not work, I binged...

But Oolala suggested for me, perhaps stick to my 3 squares and allow 2 or even 3 "S"'s on the weekend...so I'm going to give that a try and include a little more freedom. I have been back as my third attempt and don't plan on doing ANY mods during the week at all that is how I got into trouble...plus the weekends I didn't do anything in moderation all excess with also made Monday hard for me to come back from the crazy weekends..
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Post by automatedeating » Thu Dec 19, 2013 2:09 pm

Yay! I'm a big fan of "the good cry". Did you know that lots of cortisol (stress hormone) actually comes out of your body in your tears? I believe that is part of why we feel calm and almost relaxed after crying hard.

Just think, if you had fed those emotions instead of crying, you would now still have that emotional gunk just hanging out in there, waiting for its opportunity to get out.
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Post by finallyfull » Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:47 pm

Thanks guys. I am having alot of grief this holiday season since my dad died, so I had lots of crying today when I honestly first felt like snacking. So weird! But not really, when I consider that crying is very tiring and most inconvenient while eating is so easy. This is a big statement, but I think I am grieving better thanks to No S. Wow! Instead of gaining 10 pounds I think I'll cry five of them out in water. And I think I am just tending to my emotions better in general, because I'm forced to be aware of them.

Okay, onto a less serious subject: I think I'm going to do what I consider a "reverse" mod, similar to what got me through the first months of No S. It keeps it vanilla, but helps me over humps. The first few months, I ate lots of food at each meal! Just one plate, but it was a really good one. Not recommended for weight loss, but it truly helped me see that I didn't need or want that much and it was a great reverse mod. Haven't done that since. Okay so here's my non-mod: I will eat larger meals, three of them, on S days, and plan sweet desserts. I really don't think random snacking is going to go away on its own, it's hard-wired and needs a kick in the pants. But if I'm full, maybe overly so, I might have less interest. Not sure. It's certainly a fun non-mod, if nothing else. Just in time for the holidays! Peppermint pancakes anyone?

So this weekend I'm going to eat three VERY square meals, plus sweets right after, if I want. If it works, I can very, very slowly pare it back to normal, after I've dealt a body blow to my snack habit. I doubt eating bigger meals on the weekends will make a difference on weight, since it's just two days. Also, when I used to count calories, I found that random snacking could rack up very large numbers without ever trying. If I gain a couple pounds anyway, that's good information for me too. I will report my results afterward, good or bad.


Wish me luck.

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Post by NoSnacker » Thu Dec 19, 2013 10:10 pm

I have been eating fuller plates myself so that I don't feel deprived. Also I was going to have my 3 squares on the weekend followed by my snack or treat....Oolala suggested to me that perhaps a couple more S's on S days might help me from binging..

So I'm going to try it this weekend.

So sorry about your loss..it sure is hard. I have lost my gram, mom and 2 younger sisters to breast cancer..my sisters were younger than me so it is really hard. We just lost a brother and brother in law over the past few months...life sure has it's way of causing grief and sorrow at times.

Good that you can cry about it!!
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Post by finallyfull » Fri Dec 20, 2013 3:43 pm

Two younger sisters! All losses are hard, but that sounds truly devastating. My heart goes out to you.

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Post by kccc » Fri Dec 20, 2013 4:05 pm

So sorry for all the losses... and touched? impressed? (I can't quite find the right word to acknowledge this) by everyone learning to feel the grief rather than stuffing it down with food.

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Post by NoSnacker » Sat Dec 21, 2013 11:01 am

Stopping by to say hi... :D
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Post by finallyfull » Sat Dec 21, 2013 1:08 pm

Hi! Have a good couple of S days!

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Post by NoSnacker » Mon Dec 23, 2013 10:05 am

My S days were really bad, but I'm sure they will taper out....

Marked as yellow and moved on.

Hope you had a couple good days!
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Post by finallyfull » Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:58 pm

Mine were pretty good, in that they were as close to N days as I might get, I think. My strategy of eating three big meals worked for breakfast -- but lunch and dinner were more normal.

Went to a buffet (very unusual for me!) Saturday night and didn't eat all that much, but I did have two plates.

I have a good feeling about bigger meals for training wheels into natural ORDER on S days. I believe I can have Specialness and order at the same time -- disorder is just no fun even if it's what I gravitate to.

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Post by finallyfull » Sat Dec 28, 2013 1:11 pm

Well, at least I had ONE out of three green N days this week. Happy Holidays!

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Post by finallyfull » Mon Dec 30, 2013 7:44 pm

It took exactly one weekend of calorie counting to show me that it's not for me. Thought about food and numbers wayyyyy too much, and way too little about nutrition, hunger, lack of hunger, and the other things I need when I think I'm hungry.

Truth is, I eat more than I need, and I know how to cut that out without counting anything. With No S, the excess is clearly visible. I can cut it out, but the question is will I? Maybe.

Glad I didn't go all out for an insane counting month or anything. Love No S. So sane. I will enjoy a no-counting New Year's holiday because S is special, not "focus on every little bite and think about your next bite" day. Phew!!!!

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Post by finallyfull » Thu Jan 02, 2014 1:59 pm

Wow, I think I ate a year's worth of food in two S days! Not sure why, but I have a hunch it was my little trip into calorie-counting land. I have to take some time to reassure my brain that I'm not going to starve it again.

Aside from the food, here's what I lost in stuffing my face: pleasure. tuning into and tending to my needs (closing 2013 is hard), sanity, peace, and confidence. But since it was all on S days, I feel pretty good about it -- more lessons.

Here's what I'm resolving for 2014: VANILLA VANILLA VANILLA. I don't just believe now, I KNOW that if I calmly log day after vanilla day, I won't gain, and I might just lose, but most of all I am very happy and peaceful and grateful. No other eating style is worth trading that!

(I would like to put a marker here for myself to read in the future: yes, it's true, calorie counting makes sense scientifically. But for me, counting is unnecessary because I already know without counting what is excess, I just need to peaceably let go of that excess. I don't need to count the cost of a new outfit that I already know I didn't budget for, and I already know that snacks on the weekends take me away from where I want to be in many ways. Note to self: don't count!! It makes you goofy!)

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Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:50 pm

Love these posts, finallyfull. :)
I feel like I missed something, though: when and why did you try calorie-counting?
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3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Post by finallyfull » Thu Jan 02, 2014 5:45 pm

I've done it in the past, but not for a few years. Did it about a week and a half ago, after reading a persuasive essay about the need for accountability. True, scientifically, but it causes all kinds of other silliness in me which blot out what should be the benefits. (food focusing, mainly, and eating what I "can" instead of what I want or what I need, etc.)

No S has really for the first time tied me back into a sensible rhythm, and thankfully I recognized it as soon as I veered.

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Post by eschano » Fri Jan 03, 2014 10:36 am

Thanks for sharing! I had an IE- excursion during Christmas and that didn't work for me neither. So thanks to you I won't even bother doing the calorie counting as I know I'll react just the same. Vanilla it is!
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Post by finallyfull » Fri Jan 03, 2014 1:27 pm

Green and N feels lovely. I can be such a pinball, bouncing around with new ideas.

After today's green N, I'm re-resolving to beef up my THREE weekend meals per S day in the hopes I can create some order. I can see that kindness, not deprivation or tricks, will help me steer in the right direction.

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Post by finallyfull » Wed Jan 08, 2014 7:33 pm

Two red days in a row -- wonder what's going on? I think the large number of holidays (2 non weekend esses two weeks in a row!) plus the Polar Vortex cabin fever maybe threw me out of orbit? Well at least it was NOT a WTH either time.

Sanity sanity sanity. I crave and love order. Must beef up my meals temporarily, I think. Also I've slacked on the freggies, so maybe I'm "nutritionally hungry"? I believe there may be something to that. Too many food-like substances, not enough food.

I'm thinking of juicing, just for a fun and new way to boost my veggie intake and see if it gives me a jolt of energy.

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Post by jw » Wed Jan 08, 2014 8:49 pm

I've been thinking along these lines, too, finallyfull -- the S day/N day pattern just seemed to go on and on, and now it's really cold and I am hungry, part physical, part that nagging hunger that gets into your mind. I am not snacking or eating sweets, but I am having some strange S occasions/red days and I am not comfortable with bouncing around like this. Maybe you are right -- we need to pay attention to quantity at mealtimes and make sure the nutrient density is adequate.

Keep us posted on the juicing!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by finallyfull » Wed Jan 08, 2014 9:27 pm

I will.

I think you may be on to something with the "cold" -- when it's super wintery out I seem to have greater cravings for comfort, even if I'm inside and warm. I think I must be part bear -- I'd like to stuff myself all summer and fall and hibernate all winter in a big fuzzy fur coat, surrounded by warm fuzzy cubs. Instead I just overeat potato soup and bread with butter. Next best thing.

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Post by automatedeating » Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:29 am

mmmmmm. potato soup. If I save enough money with my NoSpend Days, I am going to hire a cook! 8)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

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Post by NoSnacker » Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:02 am

So do you sit back and think what you would really enjoy eating for your next meals? I know for me that when I make the things I look forward to my days are always better..when I eat something that I think I should or I'm too lazy to make what I wanted..then the urges are strong to stray.

The last couple days I have been craving spaghetti sauce so I make eggplant parm pie....enjoyed it immensely.

I do the same thing bouncing back and forth to counting calories, tracking, etc. but like you it only causes me issues.

Good luck finding what works for you..maybe some really delicious meals you might crave to have.
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Post by finallyfull » Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:10 pm

Actually I find that eating very delicious things makes me want more. I do great on weekdays when I work and have three pre-planned tasty, healthy, but unexciting meals. It's when I go all out and cook something delicious that I struggle most.

I think more activity would really help alot. I definitely munch when I'm sedentary.

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Post by finallyfull » Wed Jan 15, 2014 3:06 pm

Actually felt sick after a red day -- decided I needed half a bag of carrotts in the afternoon, then did not preplate my pizza so I ate a bunch. I was really unhappy with myself because I was so sickly stuffed. This is NOT me!! I have not had this problem.

I think what's going on (besides a red day) is that I simply cannot eat more than a plate of food without paying for it. This is GOOD to know! Yes, I've already "learned" it several times last year, but the truth is, because I'm not sneaking in bites all day, I truly have a finite amount I can eat, and I am bumping into it. Previously, because it was "grazing," I actually ate the same amount (as I can tell by my weight maintenance) but I never, ever ever ever felt horribly stuffed.

Obviously I have not truly absorbed this information, thus the overeating. But I think these lessons will stick in my memory. It's not going to just be "oh, I shouldn't eat that because I might gain weight at some future time, maybe" but instead it will be "I shouldn't eat that because I will immediately feel very uncomfortable." Huge difference.

I also noticed that I was very emotional and down yesterday and very much needed to nurture myself, and I feel certain that's why I had a red day. Ideally I would have called friends, gone for a long walk, watched something funny, or things like that. I cheated myself. Oh well -- great lessons that will serve me well.

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Post by automatedeating » Wed Jan 15, 2014 4:07 pm

Sounds like you are learning about your body and your spirit on your NoS journey. :)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

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Post by jw » Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:07 pm

This is a good experience to have had, finallyfull -- it's good to know your body won't cooperate with excess any more and it also makes you think twice about doing it again. So, in a weird way, congrats!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by finallyfull » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:24 pm

Reassuring to have a tame weekend again after what seems like a stretch of over the top. One difference is that I caught myself thinking an incorrect automatic thought that goes: "I will kick myself if I don't take advantage of this by having something..."

I replaced that with the truth, which is "I often kick myself for having too many "s"es, but I never ever regret NOT having them."

Not sure if that was a big factor, but it felt like it. Also I took better care of myself, said NO when I needed to and YES when I needed to on activities, etc. That was really nice.

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Post by automatedeating » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:26 pm

Love the change of self-talk! I think that sort of thing is monumental in our journey.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

finallyfull
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Post by finallyfull » Mon Feb 24, 2014 2:33 pm

Haven't posted in a month because I'm thinking about food far less. That's a great thing because I'm (mostly) having green days, and so unlike previous "not thinking about food" times, I have rules. I've adopted rules because our culture doesn't have any.

I think I'm in the zone. I think I can just chill out now till I die, being neither over or underweight, eating three meals a day and enjoying them.

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Post by eschano » Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:09 pm

Woohooo! Very inspiring - well done!
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:14 pm

Wow what a great post!! Congrats on your success!

Linda
Put in reasonable, sustainable perimeters on your eating and exercise and then get on with the rest of your life.

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3/15–200 lbs
3/16-170 lbs
3/17-168.4 lbs
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Post by automatedeating » Tue Feb 25, 2014 12:25 am

I'm sitting at your feet, ready to learn. :)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

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Post by jw » Tue Feb 25, 2014 2:49 pm

Well done! You are there! :D
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

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Post by finallyfull » Tue Feb 25, 2014 8:10 pm

@automated: :) actually, you could save time by sitting at Reinhard's feet. He came up with it, I am just following it.

Imagine, discovering that moderation has been hiding in plain sight all these years!

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Post by finallyfull » Thu Mar 20, 2014 1:25 pm

About a year and a quarter in now. Compliance still about 80%, weight seems stable.

I don't think I am imagining this -- I really have pretty much lost any urge for snacks and seconds. Truly. (Except at a couple minor trigger points). I used to eat snacks daily and seconds daily. It was a habit. That habit is gone!!

As my screen name implies, I used to eat smaller meals, but switching to No S allowed me to have three good ones. Obviously I must have transferred the entire contents of the snacks and seconds to those meals, even though it feels to me like they are pretty moderate.

I started out wanting to lose weight. Being an American woman in 2014 and exposed to our regular barrage of "you're not good enough" I may always have a pull toward wanting to be slimmer. I think I've even made peace with that. Just as I may always want more money even though I have enough to eat, a roof over my head, and warm covers, it's just in my nature. But I am grateful, I know that I have enough. I guess No S is teaching me that about my body. I am fine just as I am, and this helps me avoid the diet trap.

Happy to have "lose weight" off my list of things to do this year, replaced by gratitude.

Happy Spring!

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Post by eschano » Thu Mar 20, 2014 2:52 pm

Amazing and inspiring testimonial! Thank you for sharing.
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Thu Mar 20, 2014 2:56 pm

Thank you, finallyfull! I love hearing about how you have progressed.

Although I'm much farther behind you on the "habit trail" I can really identify with the lost urge for snacks (although I certainly have my moments, the temptations are few and far between).

I do, however, still longingly look at others getting seconds and have to consciously tell my inner toddler, "no!" So maybe I can look forward to some kind of progress on that front in the next year! :)

Yes, happy spring!!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

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Post by finallyfull » Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:07 pm

I think a big part of ending snacking, in addition to following the "rule", has been the change it caused: When I feel like snacking, I have trained my mind to think more deeply, automatically now. So instead of "boy I really want those fritos, I really feel like eating, am I hungry? What if I eat now, then will I eat less later? blah blah blah" NOW I say to myself: "A snack urge? What's going on here? Oh, I just saw a stupid commercial for Wendys. Glad I'm not a lemming and feel like I must obey. Or "Oh, I'm kind of bored. What is a better way to entertain myself? Or "I'm sad, what am I sad about? Should I call a friend and talk about this thing that's bothering me?" or "I think I'll drink a big glass of water and see if that helps" -- and so on.

It's like I'm finally listening to my real self instead of just treating the "symptom".

I think I had to be on No S long enough to really, really know and believe that I am not EVER truly hungry between meals. Peckish, yes, but my body can easily go five or six hours between meals, and probably more before it "needs" more food. It would always enjoy more, but so what.

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Post by finallyfull » Fri Apr 18, 2014 1:05 pm

Good news and bad news: my spring pants are a little tight! Darn!! My weight seems stable, but the pants don't lie. I HATE that feeling.

But the good news is this, thanks to No S: I know EXACTLY where that extra inch of flesh came from. In the past six months I dropped my comittment to black coffee and started putting milk or cream into it each morning, and I drink like four cups of coffee every single day. Also, I have started to think of myself as someone who can legally have one red day a week, because it never turned into a WTH. Finally, I had a full year, one year, of having six to seven servings of fruits and veggies a day, and I grew lazy about that, so now it's like 2-3 servings. Which means that denser food would take over my plate.

I had a year of being completely happy with black coffee, green days and freggies, but just let it slide. So no worries, no going hungry, no stupid diets or re-inventing the wheel. I just tighten up my N days and loosen up my pants.

Thank goodness for this simple, sane idea. I think Rinehard (I can never remember how to spell his name and won't go look it up) should set up an easy fund so that we can send a dollar to him each time we have a moment where we realize again how smart he is, and how nice he is to have set up a way for lots of other people to benefit from his good ideas.

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Post by automatedeating » Sat Apr 19, 2014 2:43 am

Thanks for the update, finallyfull. I am not ready to give up my creamy coffee, but I understand why you will go back to black coffee, since that was working for you! :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

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Post by osoniye » Sat Apr 19, 2014 3:30 am

finallyfull wrote:I had a year of being completely happy with black coffee, green days and freggies, but just let it slide. So no worries, no going hungry, no stupid diets or re-inventing the wheel. I just tighten up my N days and loosen up my pants.
Hi Finallyfull- That's a great analysis and clear-headed commitment to getting back on track. Very inspiring!
-Sonya
No Sweets, No Snacks and No Seconds, Except (Sometimes) on days that start with "S".

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Post by finallyfull » Wed May 07, 2014 6:58 pm

So I am taking a risk and trying bite counting. Why? Because I've had a good, strong, solid year and a half on No S and while it has helped me realize I am at a healthy weight, and has provided peace and balance, I still sometimes wish my moderation were just a wee bit more moderate. My clothes are a little tight, I am at a high weight (for myself) and, most of all, I fully realize that I eat more than I need EVERY DAY. Every day I continue eating when I'm full, because I can, and obviously that is a habit that goes hand in hand with being slightly muffin-top-ish.

I know I have always eaten way too fast, as if it were a race, and I am a member of the clean plate club. So I am using the eat slowly pro app that herbsgirl recommended to prompt me to time and track my bites.

Maybe it will prove too cumbersome, who knows, but surely it won't hurt for me to try to slow down and savor my meals. The bonus I hope for is that I recognize when I'm full and put my fork down. Also, I'm hoping the bite count thing will help me see any trends. Right now I stop at "one plate", which is great, but NOT when I'm full at 3/4 of a plate.

If this proves unhelpful, I will happily remain on vanilla.

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Post by finallyfull » Fri May 16, 2014 2:21 pm

Weight is up, clothes are tight, feel like I am always either hungry or really want to eat. ???? (Not the bite counting, that lasted one day before I got busy and couldn't focus on it -- I always feel like meals are in the way of my day, and yet how then can I eat MORE when I take LESS time?) Aha, I think I'm onto something.

When I make a "big deal" about eating and take time and make sure to have plenty of freggies, I do very well. But there is ALWAYS a little voice in my head that says "hurry onto your other priorities. you don't have this kind of luxury. Just eat quickly and go get more stuff done." But when I go with my "instinct" and eat on the fly, I only choose dense food, and it also "feeds" my habit of regulating minor stresses with munching.

Apparently for me, food has to be consciously chosen and eaten. Which is almost counter to No S, with the idea of building unconscious habit. I was very, very solid for a year, and pretty good for nearly another half, but I've been wavering lately. Kind of worried now. And all I ever accomplished was maintaining, anyway.

I'm pretty sure what I need to do is this: back to half freggies, back to planning good meals, AND taking S EVENTS on weekends. A year of free-for-alls allowed me to maintain, but I think they help me "maintain" the habit of snacking, too.

Darn it.

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Post by automatedeating » Fri May 16, 2014 2:35 pm

Is it possible this is a particularly emotionally draining time for you? I find that during those times I am always hungry, always wanting to eat. Have your responsibilities/schedule/demands on you increased in the past two years? Just curious, I can tell you are frustrated and I'd just like to help.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

finallyfull
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Post by finallyfull » Fri May 16, 2014 2:36 pm

Okay here is my plan, after more than 18 month of No S as "research" on my individual tough spots:

No Snacking. EVER. Okay, okay, on real "S'es" that aren't just some regular weekend. I mean Christmas, New Years, and whenever there are legitimate hors d'oeuvres. So legitimate, they must actually be something you would use the french name for, not just my husband walking by the t.v. with a bag of cheetos. That is NOT an hors d'oevres!! Were' talking cocktail party (S day only) when people are walking around with delicious plates of something special, or a dinner at someone's house where appetizers are part of the plan. I have learned that snacking, even when minor, turns me into someone who trolls around like a fish with it's mouth open, combing the ocean for whatever floats into its gullet. Not a flattering picture.

That's it.

Also: No seconds on weekends, either. One plate is enough, no matter how delicious.

Sweets I don't care about, because I naturally moderate. I'm not a sweet seeker. If my family goes out for an ice cream cone on an S day, I'll have one, and won't call it a snack, because I am very clear that this is not problem behavior for me.

There: my own tweaks: No snacks or seconds, except on major S days, and even then only if it's special.

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Post by finallyfull » Fri May 16, 2014 2:38 pm

My grandmother didn't snack every weekend, all weekend, why should I?

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Fri May 16, 2014 2:42 pm

Your verbal imagery in your post had me laughing! I love it!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

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Post by eschano » Fri May 16, 2014 3:12 pm

finallyfull wrote: Apparently for me, food has to be consciously chosen and eaten. Which is almost counter to No S, with the idea of building unconscious habit.
Hi Finallyfull :)

I actually disagree, for me NoS is all about consciously enjoying the plate you have. The unconscious part for me is that I'm hungry at meal times and that I don't snack. There's nothing unconscious about loving every bite of my savoury, gorgeous meals on one plate :)

You did so well! Get back to what you used to do and you'll be fine. And don't worry about constantly wanting to eat. I seasonally go through those phases and they pass as well.
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

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Post by samosaurus » Fri May 16, 2014 4:12 pm

finallyfull wrote:I have learned that snacking, even when minor, turns me into someone who trolls around like a fish with it's mouth open, combing the ocean for whatever floats into its gullet. Not a flattering picture.
Omg DYING lol. I like your modifications, maybe once I get to a stable part of No-S I'll do something similar, because I feel like I have the same food habits as you - I would happily snack all day, but sweets don't really appeal to me so I don't tend to gorge on those. Going to a movie, though? Have to have popcorn. Hanging out at home on a weekend? Let's make some tater tots. All those little snacking periods really add up, and that's the biggest habit I need to break with No-S.
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Post by Strawberry Roan » Tue May 20, 2014 4:50 pm

finallyfull wrote:My grandmother didn't snack every weekend, all weekend, why should I?
That is so true, isn't it? I was thinking about my dad the other day, he was 6'4" tall, lean and muscular. Probably never weighed over 180 or so. He worked construction and he ate a normal breakfast every morning like biscuits or pancakes or waffles and bacon or sausage or ham and some type of eggs, toast with oatmeal/Malt O Meal/cream of wheat in the winter, always fresh juice.

He took a black metal lunch pail every day to work with a sandwich that was usually leftover roast or chicken or meatloaf from the night before, a piece of fruit and a thermos of coffee or something cold, depending on the weather. He never snacked but was certainly hungry for dinner. If he ate anything later in the night, it would be a leftover piece of cornbread and buttermilk (a trait he learned from my grandpa) or a biscuit with honey, something like that - usually part of an earlier meal. His very favorite weeknight meal was Monday nights when my mom made ham and beans with fried potatoes,( sliced tomatoes and cole slaw in the summer when we had fresh garden produce) and cornbread! Sundays we would have homemade pie or cake or something after a big meal like fried chicken after church. I KNOW my dad never took Twinkies or potato chips or anything like that to work - not even sure they were around.
Berry

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Post by finallyfull » Thu May 22, 2014 1:36 pm

I want to remind myself of this: I've been thin most of my life with what I thought was little effort. The truth is, I mostly said "no" when I would have liked to say yes, out of habit. People used to say "why don't you have some, you can afford it" and I would think "the reason I can "afford it" is because I don't have it." I would never just go get a snack between meals because I "could". Over time, in our "eat six small meals" culture, I came to be a snacker. With No S, I realized what had happened to me, and how my weight crept up.

Now my weekends are the only time I open the floodgates, which is reinforcing my unhealthy, abnormal, diet-head habit of snacking just because I "can".

Last weekend was my first No Snack No Seconds weekend, and it was great. I would like to return to my earlier self, the sane one who knew intuitively that getting a candy bar out of the vending machine in the afternoon was a sure, obvious path to overweight. And I really don't think I'll get there "naturally". I never was there "naturally". I was there because I had subconscious rules that I let society trick me out of. Our food selling, "fourthmeal" snack happy lying culture that pounds us with alternating food ads combined with overly slim models and diet "tricks". I want off of that stupidity. The big lie of "eating all you want" and staying "slim" is a big fat "duh". For me, that means weekends too. Duh.

I declare a return to my own kind of sanity, where every Normal day, meaning Normal weekends too, I don't snack just because "I can".

I am actually looking forward to this. I think it just may be my final stop on the crazy train.

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Post by automatedeating » Thu May 22, 2014 1:42 pm

finallyfull, can you give me a year figure on how many years you were a snacker before you started NoS?
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

finallyfull
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Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Thu May 22, 2014 5:28 pm

Hard to guess -- I would say it was a gradual thing that gained a foot hold about eight years ago after I went on my first diet, and I began to internalize the idea that snacking was important to stave off hunger. From there I think it just became habit. But it also meant smaller meals, so I felt like I was always denying myself a full meal, and yet I was inching ever larger. Also, the dumb diet, which I so regret because it threw me out of what was a wonderful equilibrium mentally and physically, led to a confusion about what was natural for me and I have searched for it since. No S mostly has restored that, except I think the weekend lawlessness (which I realize is not supposed to be part of No S) kept that equilibrium at bay. I think.

Here's how it always was for me: I ate three meals, never gave a thought to much other than taste and desire, and ate sweets if they came into my life naturally (like someone offering me a brownie, or a birthday cake). I'm taking that back.

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Post by finallyfull » Thu May 22, 2014 5:31 pm

@automated: I just noticed your previous question about whether this is an emotionally draining couple of years for me: I don't think so. I have had some harder times, but I have felt very loved and supported. I feel like I'm in a good place.

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Post by eschano » Fri May 23, 2014 9:38 am

That equilibrium sounds great!
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

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Started again July 2018

finallyfull
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Post by finallyfull » Sat May 31, 2014 3:33 pm

3rd weekend on the No S streamlined plan. It's saturday between breakfast and I'm peckish. But no emergency, no big whoop, just learning a new way. I had a VERY normal, actually light, Friday night, I think because I wasn't anticipating an S day like usual, and starting to get ahead of myself. Actually I've embraced the idea of regular, daily balance. I HOPE I have flipped a switch, because I was ready, and I feel ready, to turn off the "free for all" mindset on weekends. Not because I was a binger or anything, but because I want daily normalcy, not snacking, seconds and sweets every sixth and seventh day. I realized it won't "naturally" happen in the sense that one day I won't "want" to snack. I don't think I personally work that way. I will always want what's good, when I see it or think of it. But I think I'm ready to put that habit in place where snacks and seconds are very unusual and sweets are truly a "sometimes" -- instead of a planned every weekend event. This is where I have been, and where I think I have returned.

I hope this to be true. I think the first year and a half of No S taught me so much about myself, and I think I"m ready for the other half now.

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:24 am

You're taking flight on a new leg of your NoS journey!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

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Post by clarinetgal » Sun Jun 01, 2014 5:50 am

I think that sounds great! I wish you the best!

finallyfull
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Post by finallyfull » Mon Jun 02, 2014 12:37 pm

Awesome sane weekend!! No mindless snacking, no overfullness, just good regular meals. Feels great.

I have noticed a few things: one, that I don't think as much as I used to about having "enough" at a meal, because I have months and months of noticing that unless I hit a "boredom patch" or am anxious about something, I rarely even think about hunger or eating between meals on N days. So I know if I have a light meal it will be just fine. I still like alot, but it's just different than thinking I NEED alot.

I have also noticed that without snacking on weekends, I most definitely enjoyed my meals more. I still had dessert on Sunday night, but it was one and done, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Another thing: had a couple of heavier meals due to weekendy things (eating out at lunch, cooking out Saturday night) and I ate the same as usual, but I felt much better about it because I wasn't also snacking.

Really feeling good about this.

finallyfull
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Post by finallyfull » Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:10 pm

Fourth weekend since streamlining S days. Saturday morning.

Sane Saturday morning!

So far have lost the "get started early cause it's Friday" urge, and also feel just normal, instead of that "hey, the gates are open, go eat whatever you want" feeling that I had gained on vanilla.

I needed a year and a half of vanilla, but I also am thinking I needed the "kick" of telling myself that it was time for sane weekends. I guess it's true: I am thinking very strongly that I don't WANT to snack, eat seconds, or seek out sweets more than I can't. So if this is what's called "naturally" tapering S days, I'm doing it.

Here's what I know: it feels good, sane, normal and inevitable. I look forward to three good, normal meals today, and nothing in between unless a special sweet becomes available. I do not feel at all like I'm "restricting" myself, just having boundaries. Wondering how I got to the place where three good meals a day was not "enough." Wow. Three squares a day, not enough!?

Glad I'm out of the Matrix.

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Post by automatedeating » Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:43 pm

finallyfull, you've really been inspiring (and also challenging me, unbeknownst to you!) with your recent posts about structuring your weekend eating.

I feel like I want to do this too, but I also am extremely wary that I have not been NoSing very long (in the big scheme of things), and I don't want to be too strict with myself.

However, when I think about my weekends, I don't think I'm overeating because I need an "outlet" from control on the weekdays--I think I just eat more frequently when I turn off my NoS structure. I go back to my old habits on the weekends and become a grazer.

Anyway, I'm just mulling these ideas over, but you've certainly got me thinking!!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Sun Jun 08, 2014 12:25 pm

@automated -- I have thought of it many times, but wanted to be absolutely sure I gave vanilla a good looooooong try, so that I would know fully what vanilla would be, and learn all it's lessons. I THINK I have but I'll see. For me vanilla means maintenance and unpleasantly unstructured weekends. For others that lack of structure seems to fix itself, or perhaps they are more enjoyable.

I seek a semblance of structure so that I can relax and enjoy my meals.

Last night I dreamed I was eating between meals and I stopped and threw it away!! I think that counts as some kind of milestone: following No S in my sleep!!

Had a great three meals yesterday, and will do so today. If there's a regular sized ice cream cone at some point, so be it. Nobody will find me reading a book and filling my face for no reason. Book yes, mindless snacking, no.

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:24 pm

Fourth weekend of success on my mod!! (the mod being No Snacks or Seconds, hardly ever, unless it's Special, and sweets only rarely, if they are special). Zero problems, and here's what I gained: peace. More peace. I had the occasional twinge of desire, but no more than an N day, but reminded myself that I was looking forward to having an appetite for my next meal.

(Honestly I was only "hungry" for maybe two of the meals.)

Maybe it's because it's summer, or maybe because I've done this for so long, but I was also able to eat very reasonable meals (actually kinda light). I probably shouldn't do that too much, or I may push myself into deprivation, but I am kind of in wonder at the notion of moderation and sanity returning to me.

I am at the point where, even if I maintain and lose nothing, I think I'm going to prefer this kind of sanity on S days too.

The only "sweet" I had was a bowl of fresh local strawberries with a bit of sugar and half-and-half on them.

Here's what I ate (I can remember, because it was only 3 a day!)

Saturday breakfast: 2 fried eggs, 2 pieces of rye toast with butter, half a grapefruit.

lunch: strawberry smoothie, about 2 ounces of cheese (yum)

Dinner: Hamburger on a bun, sliced tomatoes & pineapple, bowl of strawberries w/sugar & cream.

Sunday's meals

2 fried eggs, one piece of whole wheat toast w/cream cheese, coffee with a teensy bit of cream

Hamburger on a bun, sliced tomatoes & pineapple

Turkey & cheese on whole wheat sandwich, with mayo

This all may sound like alot, but it's somehow way less than I managed to eat through "small meals and small snacks" on a "normal" S day.

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:52 am

three meals on the weekends seems to be making the week easier. No just means no.

Fewer battles with self, because instead of "deciding" whether to have an S, I just "change the channel" in my mind, because the choice is pre-made.

This frees me up to my current focus: mindfulness before, during, and after meals.

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Thu Jun 12, 2014 12:10 pm

Heading for three days of camping -- I see absolutely no reason not to enjoy three regular meals each day.

I hate smores. If somebody made a special sweet I might have some, but might not.

Looking forward to fun and normalcy because I will have NO Ses!!

automatedeating
Posts: 4702
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jun 12, 2014 1:16 pm

Have fun camping! And you must be the first person I've ever met that hated S'mores. :) My children will be shocked! (And then they'll ask if they can have yours)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Wed Jun 18, 2014 11:49 am

Immediate failure on road to camping, plus several mindless snacking episodes. Oh well. I think being away from my schedule makes me imagine I'm hungrier. I'm not sure when I'm eating, etc. No excuse but I'm going for it. I did avoid seconds and sweets, though, and I think it was a reasonably moderate weekend.

NOW I'm going for a nine day trip to Florida by car, though, so this will be a test to see if three squares will do it. I really WANT it to be, because I feel best when I have that regular rhythm to life. I will have a couple of desserts if they look great, because vacation is very special, and I may have a snack if it's really something good. But it will not be a WTH week, because WTH is no fun for me.

Happy to see I seem to have lost a couple of pounds and fit my clothes a teensy bit better. Ah, sanity.

eschano
Posts: 2632
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:20 pm

Post by eschano » Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:57 pm

Ah finallyfull, you probably won't have time for WTH on your vacation! There's more exciting things to do :)
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

oolala53
Posts: 9756
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Wed Jun 18, 2014 5:15 pm

I'm glad for you that you have not read through the sad saga of oolala53 and her years of misery and handwringing on S days. Things were so much better on N days that I regarded them as totally worth it, and still felt and feel No S is the bomb. But I struggled with what felt like wild S days for about 2.5 years, I think. I did want and eat less as time went on, but still wanted and ate enough to feel cruddy a lot of the time on S days. I kept not being willing to institute a mod. I really couldn't stand the thought of curtailing my S's even I also felt cruddy much of the time! Even now, seeing the classic addictive need, I'm not convinced I should have done it any differently. I personally don't regard food as a substance that has to be dealt with as a serious drug or alcohol addiction would need to be. Moderate reduction over time is fine also for those who don't have a related health condition, and I didn't. I haven't been able to solve the other problems even though I've mostly kicked food, and I doubt I would have done any better if I had just ripped the bandage off. If I had had prediabetes or a heart condition or any other related issue, I believe I would have handled it differently, even though many don't seem to be able to.

The balance finally tipped and I became willing. My biggest issue was eating sweets and snacks alone, and I am alone a lot. (Solving that problem is proving 10x as hard as No S, as have a few others which have affected my desire to eat.) It was very hard to anticipate, but I finally committed to no sweets on S days unless I ate them in the company of others in a formal way. Going to a coffee shop and eating sweets with others around, for example, was also off limits. I had a vague feeling not to eat many other snacks, either, but that came rather naturally. Unsweet snacks just never had the pull that sweets did, especially when I wasn't eating the sweets, which were the gateway drug, so to speak. There was little thrill in a bag of potato chips or a plate of pasta if I hadn't already had chocolate. Strange, huh?

Since I am alone a lot, that meant not getting to eat sweets very often! Whole weekends without them. But I also had to make an extra promise to myself not to eat cookie dough. That I wasn't likely to eat in front of others, but if there was anything that I might break down to eat alone, it would have been it. Yes, I was quite a case. I've kept to this mod with about 90% compliance for about 2 years now. It was actually easier than I thought, but I still think I couldn't have done it earlier. I was finally miserable enough and clearly saw that it was going to be better to tolerate the "misery" of wanting to eat and not doing it than giving in and suffering those consequences. Other changes I've made more casually and experimentally. I can't say I feel terrific when I'm doing it, but I've ceased to ascribe that to the behavior of not eating. It's something else, and I guess it's my lot to keep grappling with it.
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 66
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:02 pm

Thank you for your experience and sharing your wisdom. I think the "being willing" sounds like the key (along with feeling bad about too many Ses on S day). I am more than willing -- my only hesitation is not to tempt the boomerang, but over a month in there is no boomerang in sight, mostly, just what I'd call a more liberal "sometimes" than I like.

I have read quite a bit of your saga, but I like the boiled down version -- that pearl of wisdom that comes from concentrating all the little lessons into a piece of shareable wisdom.

My goal is to eat like my great grandparents mostly ate, and I know they didn't have snack-filled weekends, or dessert "whenever they wanted."

I think I'm there. Time will tell.

thank you.

oolala53
Posts: 9756
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:42 pm

I hope you delight in everything there is to savor on vacation- sights and sounds as well as tastes and smells.
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 66
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Wed Jul 09, 2014 1:29 pm

I just realized it's been months and months since I've been "too full." The year or two prior I had several incidents, unusual for me, where I went over the line somehow and had stomach pain! I am glad I seem to have ratcheted back or perhaps can eyeball more correctly. I just naturally adjusted, I guess. Must be part of the learning process.

I think my weekends are working out (mostly) with some fails. Another important lesson is that I shouldn't buy a big container of cottage cheese, because it does nothing but call to me for a "spoonful" (read: eight spoonsful) whenever I open the fridge. Only single servings for my lunches now.

I wonder if I'm a cheese addict? I am powerless over cheese. Not "cheese food" -- just cheese. Maybe I should try loading my plate with cheese only for a few days, to get it out of my system!! Or eat a giant wheel on the weekend. I wonder what they'd do at the grocery store if I just ordered the huge wheel, and needed help getting it into the car. I could keep it next to the couch and munch at will. Is that an S?

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:31 pm

I have noticed that I am much more likely to leave food on my plate at times, which is different for me. I always left a clean plate!

Same weight, but good new habit, and what I think is a changing of my wiring from whatever keeps me feeling pressured to eat "enough" to, instead, feeling relaxed and confident that there will be plenty.

I think it's kind of a "hoarding" mentality, but hoarding in my belly. ?? Anyway, I am feeling more free of it.

oolala53
Posts: 9756
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Wed Jul 16, 2014 9:02 pm

Nice change! I still usually want to finish what's on my plate, unless I'm at a restaurant. But I almost always take the leftovers. It makes me feel very anxious just to think about leaving edible food to be thrown away. But I don't believe I'm overeating, either.
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 66
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:29 pm

I read once that slimness is highly correlated with the ability to throw food away.

eschano
Posts: 2632
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:20 pm

Post by eschano » Thu Jul 17, 2014 3:40 pm

I doubt it. My grandma was very slim and she never threw anything away. She would make and serve small portions and found creative uses for left-overs.

However, it is a great step and it might just mean that you are able to serve yourself less from now on. Hurray - saved money and less weight :)
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:20 pm

Okay, two month hiatus where one day turned into another, and another, and another. Now at least one pair of pants won't button.

Good lesson.

Back to vanilla, but still with the intention of no snacking on the weekend, no bites while cooking unless truly required, no bites of someone else's unless it's flown in from France and I've never tasted it before. I love three squares a day and the occasional treat, and I will return to it.

Also my doc says I need more protein, so I'm increasing that.

I will say this: the moment my pants wouldn't button, I had one moment of "oh sh&t", but within two more minutes, unlike previously, I thought "okay, no problem, just need to get back to vanilla." THAT is a fantastic feeling.

eschano
Posts: 2632
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:20 pm

Post by eschano » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:53 pm

finallyfull wrote:
I will say this: the moment my pants wouldn't button, I had one moment of "oh sh&t", but within two more minutes, unlike previously, I thought "okay, no problem, just need to get back to vanilla." THAT is a fantastic feeling.
Lol finallyfull! love it.
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again July 2018

automatedeating
Posts: 4702
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:53 pm

Hi there! Nice to "finally" see you again! :)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0 (struggling but not sure why)

oolala53
Posts: 9756
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:54 pm

You stopped in on the main board awhile back. Hope things are going well!
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 66
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

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