Everyday Systems

It's been about 3 months now, and I have noticed something important: I now have a pretty good idea how much food fills me up, and how much is too much. So after my one plate (or lunch bag), I may still want more. MUCH more clear to me now than ever before is the realization that, because I am so certain that I am not physically hungry for food, that I am hungry for something else.

Now when I want a sweet or a snack or a second, I say to myself: "I am hungry for something that's not food. Hm. ?"

I don't know the answer: some days it's a phone chat with a friend, a walk, a book, a prayer, a nap, a cry, a laugh, or some days I just don't know. But I am happy for this clarity. Regardless of my ultimate slimness or lack thereof, I now see I need to "feed" myself more.

(okay and for those scoring at home, I have lost no weight. But I am gaining good habits, personal wisdom, wonderful, peaceful sanity, and I bet you ten bucks by this time next year I at least won't gain the five to ten pounds I would have gained otherwise.)

Just to add to that: the subtle difference is that instead of thinking so much about "resisting" the food, I'm thinking about what the hunger really means. Subtle but huge.

The bottom line is that you do something else with your time (not snorting cocaine or slashing tires, of course!) besides eat and that is a reward in itself- it has been to me.

I used to think I had to find the perfect activity to replace the food. I felt if I wasn't doing something to achieve something great or finding the love of my life or something really big what was "worthy" of giving up the food, I was just going to go ahead and eat anyway.

I've found that isn't true, though I'm not always elated with the options. As you say, I often don't even know what the perfect thing to do is and it can be very simple. I can't always get something I might want or feel I need at that moment. I'm just clear that eating won't make be feel any better, either, and eating more will likely leave me feeling too full. I just didn't like that feeling anymore and it was worth doing almost any piddling thing instead. That was a big breakthrough for me.