Fixated on rules

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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Bullisaba
Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2016 1:57 pm

Fixated on rules

Post by Bullisaba » Tue Nov 22, 2016 4:09 am

I have not completed one year of the No S diet and I really wanted to before I added any modifications.

The weather has turned hot (not surprising I live in Australia) and I can't eat a good lunch because I have had too much water. I need to split lunch into 2 mini-meals. I have tried a milk drink but I find it really unappealing on a hot day.

I know it is not a big deal. I could just dish up my lunch on one plate then split it in two and I would not be eating more food. I just wanted to make one year.

It annoys me that I have these rigid thoughts. I would like to eventually be less vigilant about my diet, but maybe that is unrealistic. Maybe I should think of it as awareness rather than restrictiveness?

naeman
Posts: 41
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:45 pm

Post by naeman » Tue Nov 22, 2016 7:48 pm

Hi there! I haven't been on No S for too long, but I do identify with the feeling of sometimes being too rigid. I have some thoughts below that occurred to me. They might not apply to your situation, but this what my thought process.

I've had to work on some unrelated personal issues with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is basically just this idea that many distressing feelings are caused by irrational ways that we think about the world. (source: https://www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/fil ... TIVE_0.pdf)

I know that one of the ones I have the hardest time dealing with is "all-or-nothing thinking." I have a history of being very rigid in my life, often for no particularly good reason. The example with dieting, and past attempts I've had with No S, is that when I fail to stick with Vanilla for some reason, I get frustrated with myself. I convince myself that I just can't stick to whatever plan I'm trying, I pick some other new diet to try....starting tomorrow. And then I go crazy and binge eat as much as I can before tomorrow comes.

I'm trying vanilla at the moment, but I'm open to the idea of trying some modifications in the future. I think if I ever do, there are some cognitive distortions that I anticipate having to deal with:
  • 1. "If I can't do vanilla No S, I'm not doing the diet right, and the whole thing isn't worth it." - All-or-nothing-thinking. In reality, No S is made up up several different healthy eating habits. If I have to modify one, that doesn't mean that I'm not benefiting from the others. Eating my lunch split into two parts is still better than letting myself snack all day or eat sweets without limit.

    2. "This diet isn't going to work with my mods. I'm going to end up gaining weight because I'll eat too much, and I'll never reach my goal." - Fortune telling. In reality, I don't know if my mods will make the diet not work. It might keep working. It might even keep working better. I might commit to trying it for 10 days so I can get some evidence to base my opinion on. Even if I have a bad 10 days, it might give me some insight into a different mod I could use instead of giving up on the concept or trying to force myself to do Vanilla ineffectually.

    3. "I really ought to do Vanilla No S instead of making my own modifications." - Should statements. In reality, there is no way that I should or ought to be eating. There are just ways of eating that are useful for meeting certain goals that I have, and there are lots of ways to achieve a goal of losing or maintaining weight. So I could do Vanilla No S, or I could use a modified version instead. It's just a matter of finding what works for me.
And so on and so forth. Best of luck with your mods!

LifeisaBlessing
Posts: 335
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:08 pm

Post by LifeisaBlessing » Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:50 pm

Absolutely fantastic insights, naeman! :)
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
~Jimmy Dean

The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective.
~El Fug, on the NoS Diet

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Merry
Posts: 1658
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:14 am

Re: Fixated on rules

Post by Merry » Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:51 pm

Bullisaba wrote:I have not completed one year of the No S diet and I really wanted to before I added any modifications.

The weather has turned hot (not surprising I live in Australia) and I can't eat a good lunch because I have had too much water. I need to split lunch into 2 mini-meals. I have tried a milk drink but I find it really unappealing on a hot day.

I know it is not a big deal. I could just dish up my lunch on one plate then split it in two and I would not be eating more food. I just wanted to make one year.

It annoys me that I have these rigid thoughts. I would like to eventually be less vigilant about my diet, but maybe that is unrealistic. Maybe I should think of it as awareness rather than restrictiveness?
I will try to relate (shivering, with the heat on here, LOL!)

Okay, so is the issue that since you don't eat a good lunch, you are hungry before it's time for dinner? Some possibilities:

Try different foods for lunch (what about a fruit and yogurt smoothie, for example--something cold and refreshing that would also give your body extra fluids).

Try different fluids if you get hungry early--milk is only one option. What about some fruit juice or Gatorade?

Is it possible to limit water the hour before lunch--perhaps only small sips if needed, or perhaps sucking on ice? But don't get dehydrated!

I honestly think there's nothing wrong with splitting a plate in two--just make sure you aren't eating more than you would if you ate at one sitting (normally, during other times of the year). I also think there's nothing wrong with 4 smaller meals. No-S says not to snack. It doesn't actually require 3 meals, that's just what most people do.

Would your doctor say that splitting lunch in two is healthy for you in the summer months? If so, then consider yourself as having a doctor's excuse for eating this way, which is also 100% allowable with No-S.

There are ways to work around our inner rule-followers when needed! Just make sure it makes sense. The "bones" of the plan are still there--you'd still be having no sweets or snacks on N days.
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

oolala53
Posts: 9756
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Wed Nov 23, 2016 7:56 pm

I applaud you for wanting to give it a year without "premature optimization"! So many err on the other side and live to regret it.

On the one hand, we have plenty of hot weather in the States, too, and it hasn't seemed to be an issue.

The only time I feel really bloated and full from drinking water is if I've also been eating rather salty food, so the body retains it. Might that be contributing? It may not be something you're willing to change, though, if you prefer salty food. We don't want to attack all the pleasures at once!

On the other hand, even as someone who has done basically Vanilla for years, I think the split lunch option is not bad IF you are consistent with it for at least a period of time, say a month. No going back and forth day by day. Things may change so that you merge into Vanilla after a month or so, or it may work out as is. Consistency and reasonable limits that aren't too hard to track are key.

We're on your side!
Count plates, not calories. 10 years "during"
Age 66
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8
3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux
6/21 22

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

Bullisaba
Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2016 1:57 pm

Post by Bullisaba » Wed Nov 23, 2016 11:18 pm

Thanks to everyone that replied, it gave me something to think about.

Naeman - your post really spoke to me and made me rethink what is behind my rigid ways. A bit of a life lesson in that post for me.

Merry - Thanks for all the suggestions and the reminder that No S does not actually dictate how many meals, rather that there are no snacks. The "bones" of the plan is a good way to think about it.

oolala53 - I don't think it is salt that causes the problem. I have a physical job (lots of lifting 20-25kg packages) and I work in a shed which is averaging 34C (about 90F) so I need to drink lots.
The one month commitment to the mod is a great suggestion and I plan to implement that starting today.

Thank you all for you help and reassurance.

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Merry
Posts: 1658
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:14 am

Post by Merry » Tue Nov 29, 2016 4:11 am

I look forward to hearing how it goes. Stay safe in the heat!
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

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