Graham's Daily Check In

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

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Post by Graham » Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:01 am

12st 1 1/2lb, 43 7/16", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40.1%, #, Fasting

@aspencer27: I note your comments. You may be right.

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Post by Graham » Sat Aug 23, 2014 6:16 am

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.3, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40%, #

I fasted, had 2 bike rides, then ate a large meal which wasn't satisfying enough. Too little protein I believe. Then a chocolate bar. Then fatigue, an early night, fitful sleep, and here I am with disappointing results and puzzlement. The fasting/No S combo used to work for me, it really did.

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Post by Graham » Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:49 am

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 7/16", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.6%

Making no sense at all of these figures. Nothing particularly excessive in my behaviour or eating yesterday. The starch to protein and fat ratio wasn't good, but that's the only thing I can think of, and it seems too little to account for a rise which will take such effort to reverse.

I might have eaten better had I not accepted a neighbour's invitation to an open AA meeting. I think I went for poor reasons - being wary of giving offence, and diffidence in the face of another's certainty, those point to something sounding like co-dependence on my part, but the meeting itself was profound.

So many people speaking from such depth, I can't think of anywhere else I would encounter that. Meetings of my local philosophical society come nowhere near the sense of guilelessly engaging with what is deepest in us.

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Post by Graham » Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:23 am

12st 4 1/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 38.9%

My diet is currently a bit more starch, carbs and milk and less vegetables and protein. Is that what is going on here? I haven't been this heavy in quite a while - or is the scale lying to me?

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Post by Graham » Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:15 pm

12st 4 1/4lb, 43 7/8", BMI 26.6, WHtR 65%, Body Fat 40.4%, #

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Post by Graham » Thu Aug 28, 2014 10:06 pm

12st 3 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.3%, #

Back in London since Tuesday afternoon, first tango class in a while tonight, I will fast tomorrow.

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Post by Graham » Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:56 am

12st 4 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.7, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.3%, #, Fasting

Yesterday I felt like fasting but a busy schedule contradicted it. Today these perplexing figures tell me I must fast - but I feel hungry already! Drat.

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Post by Graham » Sat Aug 30, 2014 8:00 am

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 7/16", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.6%, #

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Post by Graham » Sun Aug 31, 2014 6:55 am

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.4%

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Post by Graham » Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:48 am

12st 4 3/4lb, 43 5/8", BMI 26.7, WHtR 64.6%, Body Fat 39.6%, Fasting

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Post by Graham » Tue Sep 02, 2014 6:34 am

12st 4 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.7, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39%, #

Fast went easily enough, ended well enough, no lighter, a little slimmer. I need a bike here.

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Post by Graham » Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:57 am

12st 4 1/2lb, 43 3/4", BMI 26.7, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 40%, #

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Post by Graham » Thu Sep 04, 2014 7:58 am

12st 5 1/2lb, 43 3/4", BMI 26.8, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 39.7%, #

A green day - but I put on more weight. What is happening? I seem to be losing the battle.

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Post by Graham » Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:55 am

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.4%, # Fasting

I ate a little less than I might have, SO has returned, we ate well but modestly - and all that doesn't sufficiently explain shedding 2lb and 3/8" off my waist. Hmm. I will fast today anyway.

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Post by aspencer27 » Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:38 pm

Funny how the whole weight thing works, huh? It definitely isn't a perfect measurement. I tend to think of it as a trend versus true measurements every day, although, I don't even weigh myself :lol:

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Post by Graham » Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:50 am

12st 1 3/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.6%, #

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Post by Graham » Sun Sep 07, 2014 7:38 pm

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 5/8", BMI 26.3, WHtR 64.6%, Body Fat 40.3%

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Post by Graham » Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:00 am

12st 3 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.6%, Fasting

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Post by Graham » Tue Sep 09, 2014 8:35 am

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.7%, #

I didn't get the post-fast evening meal right, neither in ingredients nor in the emotional constraint that lay behind my choice. I needed more vegetables, didn't have them. Later dissatisfaction led to snacking: first ice-cream, then biscuits, with complementary indigestion and mild self-loathing. Fortunately my excess was not great enough to entirely nullify the fast.

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Post by Graham » Wed Sep 10, 2014 8:44 am

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.3, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.7%, #

Trying supplements A & M in milk again, G was not helpful weight-wise. Focusing went well yesterday, investigating CoDA, all good input. Ate less, woke well rested.

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Post by Graham » Thu Sep 11, 2014 8:55 am

12st 3 1/4, 43 3/8", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.4%, #

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Post by Graham » Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:15 am

12st 1 1/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 40%, # Fasting

Tango class last night, wasn't strenuous, ? cause/effect? Fasting till 6-ish, choir rehearsal tonight

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Post by Graham » Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:21 am

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.1%, #

Beyond disappointed with my weight and last night. Fast went ok, meal at the end wasn't ok, not what I wanted but SO prevailed. Had soup and bread with melted cheese on it. Then choir where I noticed chest and throat irritation. Then, unfortunately, someone had brought wine, cakes and crisps to celebrate grandmotherhood. And I had wine, cake and crisps. Walked part way home but still tipsy enough to think having some corn on the cob with SO who was still hungry an ok idea.

Still, not knowing how to do calorie counting, to understand the cause and effect operating here, the gain of 1 3/4lb on a fasting day seems like punishment. And how to solve this? I do not wish to appear curmudgeonly, but I don't have much pleasure from these "parties". I have little in common with anybody there, the social awkwardness I feel is why I end up eating too much. Were it not for a wish not to appear stand-offish, I just wouldn't go to these things at all.

And the good news? I seem to be slimmer and Saturday tango class and milonga resume today. I do snack there, but I dance a lot, and that seems to do more to slim than fatten me.

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Post by Graham » Sun Sep 14, 2014 5:35 pm

12st 4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.5%

Yesterday's tango didn't do it, how about today's?

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Post by Graham » Mon Sep 15, 2014 10:05 am

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.4%, Fasting

Yesterday's was the last of this year's Spitalfields open-air milongas. Organised by Tango Fever, delightfully well-chosen music, they are one of the joys of London life. To lose weight without trying, what could be better?

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Post by Graham » Tue Sep 16, 2014 8:58 am

12st 3 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.3%, #

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Post by Graham » Wed Sep 17, 2014 12:51 pm

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 1/2" BMI 26.3, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40%, #

Tango class cancelled, danced at home instead.

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Post by Graham » Tue Sep 23, 2014 8:21 am

12st 1 1/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 40%, #

My first probationary attendance at a new choir. After a day fasting, quorn stir-fry with vegetables, fruit and rice. Spicy, as usual. A one-plate meal. I'd been feeling good all day, yet, at choir, things went badly. I couldn't reach and hold my high notes. I was embarrassed.

I found myself wondering, what was the problem? Is it singing too soon after fasting and then eating? Or the spices? I do need to know. The repertoire is good, the standard is higher than other choirs I've been involved with. It won't be easy but I think it worth the effort, yet my aspirations will come to naught if my voice lets me down.

I've already done the obvious things: visit to GP: on that visit everything sounded ok, and a chest x-ray looked fine and whatever blood tests were done came back normal - which eliminates some possibilities yet leaves me in the dark.

I have harboured the notion that losing weight might fix various health issues, but the truth of my own experience has been that throat and chest issues seemed to be provoked by the fasting/eating cycle. And the question: is it the fasting, or what I eat after the fast?

Do I need to do dreary things like cut out foods that I like to see if they're problematic? Dairy for example? Or pungent foods? I know brown sauce on cheese on toast irritates something in my nose/throat/chest: but is it the cheese, or the sauce? I like them both damn it!

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Post by Graham » Wed Sep 24, 2014 8:19 am

12st 1 1/2lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.9%, #

Chest improved sometime during or after last night's tango class & dancing. Now I could sing. Off on a jaunt for 2 days, driving, probably snacking on the road, not weighing or measuring.

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Post by Graham » Fri Sep 26, 2014 8:47 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.3%, #

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Post by Graham » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:55 am

12st 2 1/2lb, 43 1/8", BMI 26.4, WHtR 63.9%, Body Fat 39%

Tango effect strikes again, despite later chocolates and cream cheese indulgence. Magic.

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Post by Graham » Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:35 pm

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.3%

Not fasting, preserving my voice for tonight's choir. May fast tomorrow.

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Post by Graham » Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:36 am

12st 2lb, 43 1/8", BMI 26.3, WHtR 63.9%, Body Fat 39.2%, # Fasting

My voice was much better without the fast. I would like to understand more about the problem, but for now I am satisfied with that simple stratagem.

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Post by Graham » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:19 am

12st 2 1/2lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.3%, #

I recall the proposition which first drew me to fasting: that post-fast eating tended to be less than the calorie deficit produced by the fast. In my own case, looking over a 24 hour period, that seems to be untrue. Looking over 2 days, the second day sometimes shows what I identify as a delayed fasting effect.

This last fast was interesting: I started with lots of energy and a bright outlook. I exercised, then went shopping (on foot) then escorted SO to St Pancras, which was my bridge too far. Home, deep fatigue set in, I slept a while, then meditated and finally cooked myself a sizeable meal: quorn stir-fry with onions, peppers, pineapple, accompanied by sweet potato, broccoli and rice. Very tasty, filling, yet I still succumbed to the left-over 50g of chocolate I found in the fridge. Which would be no big deal if the proposition I mentioned above were true in my case, which apparently it isn't.

What does seem to promote weight/waist loss for me fairly reliably is dancing. Tango classes, especially with a milonga or practica tacked on, seem to reliably produce a pleasing effect. Niggling joint aches suggest this path will itself be obstructed sooner or later, but non load-bearing exercise may offer a solution.

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Post by Graham » Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:02 am

12st 1 1/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.7%, #

A tango class in Cambridge: 2hrs dancing plus 2 hours driving. I ate as much as I liked yesterday yet I'm lighter today. That is how I like it to go.

I nearly forgot to mention: I resurrected my rowing machine yesterday. 10 minutes, 1 1/2K was all I could do, and I felt bad-tempered after I'd done it. I do hope to resolve that, not sure how I'll do it. I can let it be part of my focusing today, but I don't feel angry now, so it may be harder to engage with it.

4:55pm Rower: 2km 13 1/2 minutes. It is enough, I think, for today. It didn't come up as a focusing topic, but other stuff that mattered did, and my mood was good both before and after focusing, and before, during and after rowing. What the figures hide is that I have to pause during it, taking off a t-shirt or taking a breather when I've gone too fast. Both my right shoulder and right knee complain in their different ways, I hope there'll be a settling down, let's see.

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Post by Graham » Fri Oct 03, 2014 8:20 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.6%, # Fasting

Yesterday was such a good day, I was happy and busy, exercising, attending a dance class, eating moderately, yet the numbers hint at excess.

I don't think I should have exercised more, I woke with an aching knee, which tells me I did as much as I should.

Rower: 2 1/4km 16 minutes Smoother, steadier, only one break for a drink of water. Felt better.

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Post by Graham » Sat Oct 04, 2014 10:18 am

12st 3lb, 44 1/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 65.6%, Body Fat 41.6%, #

This is so crazy. Fasting and my evening activities don't blend well. Fast/eat/go to choir is not going well. I had my voice OK but returned home with a background edginess, had a small beer, then noticed I was hungry. A fried haloumi sandwich became 2 sandwiches. I slept badly and today I'm fatter than ever. I hope it is temporary gain. Oddly, my mood is fine, and I'm actually looking forward to rowing today, really wanting to do it. So, this is not a sad story.

Rowing 2.84km, 20min one break, taking it steady/comfy

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Post by Graham » Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:47 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.6%

So, numerically back to where I was on Friday. I was in a wonderful mood after focusing on Saturday, I went to Piccadilly Circus and drank in an unrepeatable sequence of faces from the 4 corners of the world. I wanted to absorb something of the reality of each person written in their features, to drench myself in that torrent of experience. How rich! Very suitable for my birthday.

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Post by Graham » Mon Oct 06, 2014 8:43 am

12st 4 1/4lb, 43 1/2" BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.5%

I finally tackled the big jar of chana dal I'd been given yesterday evening. I had never cooked it before. Is it to blame for these figures? It was a lazy day too, apart from choir and laundry I didn't do much: no rowing or other exertion.

Though the numbers are up and my energy is a bit down, I won't be fasting today, nor do I see a sensible opportunity any time before Friday as I'll be out dancing every night till then!

Tonight, a milonga at Westfield in Shepherds Bush, Tuesday Las Estrellas, Wednesday The Dome in Tufnell Park, Thursday the Room in Tottenham, Friday choir breaks the pattern, but then Saturday at tango E14. An opportunity to answer my "How much slimmer might I be if I danced every day?" question conclusively?

Rowing: 21 min 3K, with breaks, can't seem to get a smooth pace today. I didn't enjoy it enough, overcoming lethargy, fighting my own reluctance.

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Post by Graham » Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:42 am

12st 1 3/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.6%,#

Rowing 22min 3K - uninspired, arbitrary halting point, several breaks. The rower is now positioned where the performance monitor is harder to read, that was a disruptive factor I'll seek to remedy tomorrow.
Last edited by Graham on Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Graham » Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:53 am

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.1% #

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Post by Graham » Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:21 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.9%, #

4 Hours of tango - but it was also Zero Hour's 15th birthday party! After the lesson, and the demonstration, there were cakes! and crisps, nuts, cheese, grapes and sparkling wine.

Row: 3.5Km 25min Fairly smooth, one break, could have done more, but I have a tango class in an hour.

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Post by Graham » Fri Oct 10, 2014 7:36 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.3%, #

Row: 4K, 27min Pretty steady, got quicker over time, a drink and de-layer break at 13min.

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Post by Graham » Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:13 am

12st 3 3/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39%, #

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Post by Graham » Sun Oct 12, 2014 8:41 am

12st 3 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.3%

My week of tango/no fasting nears it's end. I've been rowing a bit too. Yesterday's decision not to row was precautionary, my knee had been complaining. Knowing I had another tango event today, I decided to lessen the load, though I'm not saying that the motion of rowing strains my knee, I've not tested that.

On the voice/fasting issue: at choir rehearsal on Friday, though I hadn't fasted, my voice wasn't at its best. A sense of tightness in the chest, and the sound of a younger tenor's voice gaining strength and clarity underlined my limitation.

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Post by Graham » Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:18 am

12st 4 3/4lb, 43 3/4", BMI 26.7, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 39.9%

Looking back a week, how did almost daily dancing/no fasting go? I am Half a pound heavier, and 1/4" fatter round the waist. I have no "eat more than I usually would" occasions to blame for this.

I'm probably slightly fitter, it was a pleasure to dance more and meet new people. It was worthwhile spending time struggling with learning and failing, public confusion and moments of new knowledge and confidence. Focusing helped me prepare for that.

I have new challenging choir tonight, and a niggling question, is it the right place for me to be? Is it the right challenge? A sense of alienation crystallising. I will practice today, and let this feeling surface if it will. Anyway, I digress: that is why I'm not fasting today. Tomorrow I'll help SO prepare/install a greenhouse - so not a fasting day, I think. Wednesday, off to experience some highly recommended visiting tango teachers at an unfamiliar venue in Dulwich. Thursday I have my regular evening tango class, Friday is church choir night - dare I fast Friday? Dare I not?

I will use the rower this week, and see if I can find my old records on rowing, I want to know how much daily rowing it took to influence my weight and waist. I suspect it was around an hour 6 days a week, but I'll check.

Row 4.4K 30min A bit slower paced than last week, smooth, steady, one de-layer and water break.

The rowing weight-loss took place before I did NoS. I'd have to dig out my diary for November 2009 and see if I did anything else alongside it, I certainly dropped a few pounds doing @12k in an hour 5 or 6 days a week. I started modestly in May 2009 and built things up, there were a few really impactful months shedding pounds and inches before a pronounced irritability started to dog my rowing efforts and i switched to daily bike rides. My mood improved, but the weight loss slipped away sometime between then and starting NoS in April 2010

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Post by Graham » Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:18 am

12st 4 1/2lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.7, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.1% #

Row 5Km 32min 30sec Smooth, started slow, built up, one d/l water break.

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Post by Graham » Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:34 am

12st 2 1/2lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.3%, #

I went to a tango class, nothing too strenuous though, and had melted cheese with pickled onion in pita bread on coming home. Plus snacks, someone brings candied papaya and pineapple - so I sinned, yet slimmed.

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Post by Graham » Thu Oct 16, 2014 10:03 am

12st 0 3/4lb, 42 7/8", BMI 26.1, WHtR 63.5%, Body Fat 38.9%, #

I did go to a tango class, probably didn't eat as much as usual, again had pickled onions with melted cheese and pita for supper, didn't get my 5-a-day, didn't row, does any of that sufficiently explain the weight/waist drop? I'd love to know.

I remember being hungry at breakfast and that my porridge left me feeling still hungry, but I didn't do anything about it. Then lunch was small, left-over chickpea curry with some bread, then off to tango in Dulwich, oh, I did snack - SO had some bread and cheese with her, but not much in the short break between class 1 and class 2, Still, seems like a biggish weight/waist drop over the last 2 days. Good.

We did some difficult balancing exercises, raising up on the toes on just one foot at a time - could my calves be magic calorie burners?

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Post by Graham » Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:47 am

12st 1 1/4lb, 42 7/8" BMI 26.2, WHtR 63.5%, Body Fat 38.8%, #

Row 5Km 32min 50sec So! a bit slower, just in a couple of days, fitness reduced. Off to choir soon.

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Post by Graham » Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:48 am

12st 4 1/4lb, 42 7/8", BMI 26.6, WHtR 63.5%, Body Fat 38%

I can't recall what I weighed yesterday, but my waist was the same. It was a choir day - so no dancing, but many cakes! Numerous accomplished bakers amongst the choir, it isn't as bad as my old choir's compulsory pub attendance, but calorifically just as deadly. Fortunately cakes only feature on choir days so they won't be frequent.

Row 5Km 32min 15sec. 10pm's late to do it, but I felt I had to. Drink and de-layer break at 2.5Km

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Post by Graham » Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:30 am

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.1%

My waist's back up despite last night's rowing. No fast today: there's a greenhouse delivery and tonight's choir to rehearse for. Tomorrow? Might be busy too, perhaps building the greenhouse if the weather is favourable and an evening tango class. Wednesday? Tango in Cambridge. Thursday? evening tango class. Friday? my easier choir, so maybe I'll fast on Friday. Saturday tango all afternoon, Sunday choir, and then it's Monday again.

The rower: is it going to be my salvation? For now I'll put improving my distance or time as the priority and let the weight/waist take care of themselves.

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Post by Graham » Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:20 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43", BMI 26.4, WHtR 63.7%, Body Fat 38.7% #

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Post by Graham » Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:55 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.6% #

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Post by Graham » Thu Oct 23, 2014 12:10 pm

12st 1 1/4lb, 43 7/16", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40.2%, #

Row 3K 22min, I tried, couldn't get into it, enough for now.

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Post by Graham » Fri Oct 24, 2014 8:01 am

12st 1 3/4lb, 42 3/4", BMI 26.2, WHtR 63.3%, Body Fat 38.3%

I don't feel I can fast and row. Rowing seems more waist-trimming than fasting so, today, though I have some yearning for a fast, I won't do it. Saturday is a busy tango day, Sunday morning church choir - when can I fast? When do I neither dance nor sing? Wednesday. OK.

Row 5K, 34min 14 sec. I think doing it, whatever the pace, matters most, I will try to respect my own pace, if I get slimmer, why pressurise myself with demands to do more or faster? Also my right knee is still vulnerable. Of interest perhaps, I did this row before breakfast, my only fuel one mug of tea with milk and sweeteners.

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Post by Graham » Sat Oct 25, 2014 8:46 am

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.7%, #

I thought I didn't need a 3rd meal after choir, but tortilla chips and mayonnaise figured later, I can't call that a meal, it felt like snacking. I didn't enjoy them much, and the feeling afterwards of having mindlessly munched disappointing rubbish, and that I might be fatter, that was sad, yet something drew me, held me, kept me doing it.

Only half a bag, but it was a big bag, and I'm embarrassed to be the guy who did that. Ok, just checked: I had @600 calories of the chips - but add in the mayo and maybe that's nearer 800? Equivalent to a meal, but a really badly composed meal, with added guilt.

Rowing: 4Km in 26min 30sec. Started slow, ended brisk, two breaks for water.
Last edited by Graham on Sun Oct 26, 2014 6:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Graham » Sun Oct 26, 2014 9:15 am

12st 5 1/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.8, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.2%

I am shocked. I was under the weather yesterday, lethargic till the late evening, when I had the impulse to row before watching tv. Eating wasn't obviously excessive. I did have 2 fizzy drinks: 1 can of cola, 1 of lemonade - but that's it for sweets for the day, the rest was food, sensible stuff.

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Post by Graham » Mon Oct 27, 2014 9:57 am

12st 6 3/4lb, 43 3/4", BMI 27, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 39.4% Fasting

What on earth is happening to me? I think whoever said "there's no such thing as fattening food" was a fool or a liar. I've had fish fingers and chips and lemonade two days running, but never stuffing myself, no parties, no booze.

I have been alone, mostly. A bit under the weather, and so lethargic I didn't go out at all on Saturday, and only to choir on Sunday, and didn't row either. I am alone here, SO is away - but there are no sweets here except for the fizzy drinks, I've been experimentally avoiding nuts and chocolates for the past 10 days.

Weight and waist-wise, this weekend has been a particular disaster. I have put on 5lbs and an inch around my waist since Friday! That is the sort of amount it takes me months to get rid of! And those are hard months, with dreary, tiring fasts in them, and all those gains gone in one weekend!? WTF!

I did not plan to fast today, as I've mentioned, I tend to have chest/throat congestion/singing problems after a fast and fast-ending meal and I have my new choir, where I want to do well, nay, where I have to do well (passengers aren't tolerated) if I am to remain. Yet these figures, this trend, leave me feeling I have little choice but to fast today.

The fried fish fingers and french-fried potatoes were a rare treat, as SO hates the smell of frying. They weren't as much fun as I recall from my youth, and the follow-up acid indigestion also undermined my fond memories. Fried food isn't my friend any more (if it ever was), at least not as a late-evening meal.

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Post by Graham » Tue Oct 28, 2014 9:03 am

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.7% #

Post fast eating both before and after choir, I didn't resist my appetite. This was more or less planned, as I wanted to eat, but not too much, before singing. I would rather not have anything demanding to do after a post-fast meal, but my current life doesn't permit that if I want 2 fasts a week.

This is strange though: apparently I lost 3 1/4lbs and 1/4" off my waist in one day's fast. What on earth has been going on? My voice survived, perhaps because I was careful what I chose to eat after my fast? Not too bulky, nor too acid, spicy or fatty.

Row 5.7Km 40 minutes. I took breaks every 10 minutes, I kept my pace such that I felt no irritation with what I was doing. I listened to the radio. I would like to listen to old radio shows online using my laptop but the volume won't go high enough. I am feeling my way into how the rower will work for me, with my body's abilities and needs. I think I'm on the right track.

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Post by Graham » Wed Oct 29, 2014 8:55 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.9%, # Fasting

It seems rather soon to be fasting again, but Wednesday was when I planned to fast, and it is still an ideal day insofar as I'm not having to go anywhere or do anything afterwards. I can time the meal a little later, taking more time over cooking.

I am pretty clear that I use food addictively sometimes, it stops me feeling/knowing things I've not known how to welcome. I am learning to give a kinder hearing to what I've pushed away. It is taking a long time. Not all of me wants to be kind to what is exiled, yet it seems to be a path of healing with integrity, worth my persistence.

My excess weight/waist isn't the problem, better described as a problematic symptom.

Row 6.1Km 40min With 2 breaks for water/de-layer Easy pace, smooth, a slight headache the only hint that rowing and fasting might not be a perfect mix.
Last edited by Graham on Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Post by MerryKat » Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:15 pm

Well Done on persisting with the healing of the exiled issues and feelings. It is not easy to face the things we eat away!!

Good Luck as you continue learning more about yourself!
Hugs from Sunny South Africa
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Post by Graham » Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:19 pm

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 7/16", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.6% #

Row 7.1Km 49min

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Post by Graham » Fri Oct 31, 2014 9:42 am

12st 3 1/4lb, 43 11/16", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.7%, Body Fat 40.2%, #

So, despite rowing, and a tango class, waist gain. Was my bed-time hot milk to blame? Why have the the milk? It aids sound sleep and that aids weight-loss. So, what to do?

I had only 2 meals: breakfast porridge and late afternoon stir-fry with rice. Ah, I've just checked, about 170 calories in my sweetened hot milk. Not quite a meal. And what about my beer? @90 calories (2.7%, 250ml) So, I didn't over-consume calories, yet I'm not seeing that dwindling waist that should reward my rower efforts. I am feeling fitter though so I don't regret resurrecting the rower. I'm finding out how to use it happily, crucial for any long-term benefit.

Row 8Km 53min 45sec

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Post by Graham » Sat Nov 01, 2014 10:16 am

12st 3 1/2lb, 43", BMI 26.5, WHtR 63.7%, Body Fat 38.5% #

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Post by Graham » Sun Nov 02, 2014 9:41 am

12st 4 1/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.5%

I danced yesterday but didn't row. I had some of the most enjoyable tangos of my life, felt great but not so intensely calorie-burning.

Row 8Km 51min 40sec

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Post by LoriLifts » Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:58 am

Hi Graham,
Just stopping by to say hi. And that I appreciate how consistently you write in your daily check-in. I've started and stopped over the years, my goal is to a regular contributor like you.
Cheers,
Lori
Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.

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Post by Graham » Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:29 pm

12st 5 1/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.8, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.2%, # Fasting

Back again, after a week off with a heavy cold. Diet and exercise regime gone to pot. I was already having a problem with the rower though, an annoying clicking joint, might have been my left hip. Not painful but had me wondering if I might be doing subtle damage, and it was distracting.

Time to renew my efforts to be slim and well. A fasting tweak, I'm going to try to limit the calorific content of my fast-ending meal ALA "Fast Diet" or "5:2 diet" of Michael Mosley et al. I have never tried to work out the calories in my stir-fry with rice, but I suspect it to be well over 600 calories!

26.11.2014: Actually the "stir-fry" was quite close to 600 calories provided I was careful with the cooking oil. It was probably never grossly over 600 unless I added a buttered pitta, beer and milky coffee or had generous seconds.

I'm not trying their 2 little meals strategy, though one day I might. Rather I'll stick to fasting with just black tea, black coffee, ginger tea with lemon and sweetener, fizzy water with or without a little lemon, then eat in the evening.

To Merry Kat, greetings. To Lori, greetings.
Last edited by Graham on Wed Nov 26, 2014 11:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Graham » Wed Nov 12, 2014 7:52 pm

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 1/8", BMI 26.3, WHtR 63.9%, Body Fat 39.1%, #

I was mildly hungry after my meal, but having a pre-prepared calorie counted meal made sticking to the plan easy enough. I want to compose my own calorie-counted meal and maybe it won't be so hard if I plan it in advance. I think I'll do my quorn stir-fry, working out my rice allowance after including 4 types of veg & fruit. It might even be fun.

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Post by Graham » Thu Nov 13, 2014 12:49 pm

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.7%, # Fasting

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Post by Graham » Fri Nov 14, 2014 9:37 am

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.3, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.4%, #

My stir-fry is easily under 600 calories provided I don't go crazy with the cooking oil. I bought a new non-stick pan to help with that, all went well. The results of this second fast of the week seem a little low-key compared to the first one, but a loss of about 1lb per week is what I should expect, if I eat normally the rest of the week.

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Post by Graham » Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:07 am

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.3, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40%

There was tango, then there was pizza. I am not back to using my rower yet. I've not done anything that would alter how my joints work, I'm uncertain whether the rower is going to be a regular part of my regime going forward. If not, a bicycle solution seems to press.

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Post by Graham » Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:00 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.3%

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Post by Graham » Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:50 am

12st 4 1/4lb, 43 3/4", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 40.1%, #, Fasting

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Post by Graham » Wed Nov 19, 2014 9:20 am

12st 1 1/2lb, 43 5/16", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.2%, Body Fat 39.8%, #

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Post by Graham » Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:59 pm

12st 0 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.1, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 40.1%, #

Westfield Tango works its magic once again.

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Post by Graham » Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:22 am

12st 1 1/2lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40.2%, # Fasting

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Post by Graham » Sat Nov 22, 2014 10:01 am

12st 1 1/4lb, 43 5/8", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.6%, Body Fat 40.6%, #

A mistake last night, I used too little fat in my stir-fry. Resulting in post choir sense of gnawing hunger. Being uncertain how many calories I'd had, I ate some toast with cream cheese, but still was restless. Then I had a beer, and later, two chocolates.

The low-fat spray I was trying with my new non-stick pan resulted in very little fat in my stir-fry with rice. Not good. I need to re-calculate my recipe, I think I can use real oil, and should. A low fat meal with rice in it seems to temporarily satisfy, but then leaves a sense of craving after a few hours.

I notice this: that a mistake in composing a meal led to behaviour that I feel guilty about, an error of biochemistry that feels like a shaming personal failure. This isn't a moral issue, why do I feel so damn disappointed and miserable about it? I look at my swollen fat belly in the mirror and feel I am looking at someone weak, and feel ashamed. (and helpless, that's part of it too).

I have been hovering around the same weight for months. Why is losing weight so hard for me? I'm dreading getting back on my rower with the unsolved clicking joint issue. Bike? Maybe, though the regular reports of cyclists dead under lorries trouble me. Tango? Works sometimes, though the results of my "week of tango without fasting" were a slight gain in weight and waist as I recall.

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Post by Graham » Sun Nov 23, 2014 9:33 am

12st 0 3/4lb, 43 1/8", BMI 26.1, WHtR 63.9%, Body Fat 39.5%

I ate as I wished, went to 3 hours tango plus snacks, home to a generous meal and later ice cream, lemonade and rehearsing today's music. A good day.

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Post by Graham » Mon Nov 24, 2014 10:46 am

12st 1 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40.2%

Tango again, but then the delightful social occasion turned edible and I didn't manage my conflicting needs and wishes well. I wanted to be friendly, involved, part of it all, though I suspected I wouldn't enjoy the meal everyone else was wanting. I'd already eaten well before the practica so I didn't need another big meal. I didn't want to be out of step (ha! unintended dancing joke!) so I joined in, with my unvoiced doubts.

I don't usually share my unvoiced doubts as I don't wish to irritate people. It can take me a while to figure out what is right for me, and it usually feels like I'm holding everyone else up, and I don't like that feeling either. What my body wants and social issues come into conflict and I've not found a graceful, pleasing solution yet.

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Post by Graham » Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:57 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.9%, # Fasting

Nothing unusual about yesterday's eating, save the timing. My last meal was after choir: onion, apple and cheese, around midnight. Though my weight has climbed over the last couple of days, it is still less than the same day last week, and that was less than the week before, when I'd put on so much during my cold. My waist is stubbornly stuck. Is it rower time again yet?

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Post by Graham » Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:14 am

12st 0 1/2lb, 42 15/16", BMI 26.1, WHtR 63.6%, Body Fat 39.1% #

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Post by Graham » Thu Nov 27, 2014 11:39 am

12st 2 1/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.3, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 40% #

What can be learned here? 1. the idea that, following a typical 5:2 600 calorie fast, the following day's unregulated eating won't be enough to eradicate the previous day's deficiency seems almost wishful thinking. I am still 1/4lb lighter than I was the morning after my fast but much heavier than I was this time last week. *


There were slightly special circumstances: SO went abroad yesterday, so lunch and dinner were eaten alone, and there was a prominently displayed bag of corn chips, and I knew I had ice cream in the freezer and lemonade in the fridge. I had some of all of that, out of a vague yearning - but was it for food, truly, or more diffuse longing for other, less easily attainable pleasures?

What if I'd gone to a tango class or milonga? That would be a different story, would it not? Or got on the rower? Or a bicycle?

Yet, despite these figures, I am not downhearted today. I slept very well, and feel content.

*I nearly forgot to mention the other probably contributing issue to today's rapid weight/waist gain:
2. My evening meal was rice with chana dal and broccoli, garnished with some cream cheese as I had no yoghourt. Despite filling my stomach I felt the dal was too watery to provide lasting satisfaction, which was probably partly responsible for the snacking I did later.

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Post by Graham » Fri Nov 28, 2014 8:29 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 3/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 40.5%, # Fasting

Today's figures are a surprise. Yesterday's eating and mood were hugely different to Wednesday's. I ate only two meals. I had no fried food. I had some vegetables grilled that would otherwise have been fried. I got my five a day. I had rice and dal with boiled carrots and grilled onion. I later had a couple of ham sandwiches with grilled mushrooms and boiled broccoli. I have my coffee and tea with milk and sweeteners. At no point did I behave excessively, or feel the sort of mood that drives me to shaming excess. So, why am I again fatter and heavier?

It is tempting to think that rice and dal and sandwiches are starchy foods, and they are fattening. I didn't get much exercise yesterday, just one hour out shopping, but I did get excellent psychological exercise. I avoided a major destabilising activity: late night TV watching. And no alcohol. I was still up late though, I didn't sleep so well or so long.

So, I'm fasting today, but I am heavier than I was last Friday. That points to a failing strategy. I've followed 5:2 with fasting day food intake limited to 600 calories. This should, if the books were right, have left me lighter this week than last week as spontaneous between-fast intake isn't supposed to be enough to nullify the effects of the fasts. That is patently, obviously wrong in my case. I've stuck to the rules, and they have failed, not me.

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Post by Graham » Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:31 am

12st 0 1/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 40% #

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Post by Graham » Sun Nov 30, 2014 9:46 am

12st 1 3/4lb, 43 3/16", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.6%

Yesterday was an all-day choir rehearsal. A good day but nothing like as calorie-consuming as tango. Next Saturday will be just as problematic: an afternoon rehearsal and then my first "Messiah" in the evening. It is what I've chosen. It does emphasise to me that diet, even with fasting thrown in, is not enough to reduce my corpulence. Pleasurable exercise is needed too.

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Post by Graham » Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:52 am

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 3/8", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.3%, Body Fat 39.6%

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Post by Graham » Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:04 am

12st 3 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.6% #

a fast followed by a friend's birthday meal. There was no better option this week, it was how it was.

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Post by Graham » Fri Dec 05, 2014 10:48 am

12st 3* 43 5/8" * scale won't show fractions today.

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Post by Graham » Sat Dec 06, 2014 9:19 am

12st 2 1/2lb, 43 3/4", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 40.6%, #

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Post by Graham » Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:58 am

12st 1 1/4lb, 43 1/4", BMI 26.2 WHtR 64.1%, Body Fat 39.7%

A musical day. An afternoon rehearsal, then out for a 15 minute walk to a pub, 1 whiskey, walk back, buffet, sing Handel's Messiah, more sandwiches, home. Both this and tango afternoons have this in common: buffet eating: standing up, grazing. Should I try eating all my meals standing up, I wonder?

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Post by Graham » Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:52 pm

12st 2 3/4lb, 43 5/8", BMI 26.4, WHtR 64.6%, Body Fat 40.2%, #

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Post by Graham » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:03 am

12st 1 1/4lb, 43 5/8", BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.6%, Body Fat 40.6% #

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Post by Graham » Fri Dec 12, 2014 9:12 am

12st 1 3/4lb, 43 3/4" BMI 26.2, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 40.8%, #

Weight/waist has been up and down on this brief Southport trip. No fasting, 2 upcoming carol concerts, and weather so bad cycling or walking were ruled out. Pity I'm going back today, it is a bright, enticing morning, but there it is. I hope to spend longer here in the not-too-distant future.

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Post by Graham » Sun Dec 14, 2014 10:11 pm

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 7/8", BMI 26.5, WHtR 65%, Body Fat 40.6%

Back in London since Friday. Singing and eating, with another concert on Monday night. 15 different Christmas pieces, some of such intricacy I doubt I'll master them all this year. And I haven't danced for weeks. I was making progress too.

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Post by Graham » Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:11 am

12st 4 1/4lb, 44", BMI 26.6, WHtR 65.2%, Body Fat 40.7%, Fasting

Is this the right day to fast? Climbing weight/waist suggests it, though a prospective party tonight contradicts it. I think I'd rather stay home, but I've the whole day to decide that.

Last night's concert went pretty well considering how new I was to most of the repertoire and a lack of rehearsal aids for most of it.

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Post by Graham » Wed Dec 17, 2014 10:58 am

12st 5 1/4lb, 43 7/8", BMI 26.8, WHtR 65%, Body Fat 40.1%, #

This fast ended badly. I was feeling particularly hungry, I had half a grapefruit before my stir-fry, then I was very careful not to use "too much" fat - and cooked a meal that looked right but felt really inadequate. I remained hungry and restless, knowing there was chocolate in the fridge, but it wasn't mine, so I just obsessed about what to have instead. Which was cereal with milk and cream, then two mince pies with cream.

Not too surprising that I didn't lose any weight, though I was surprised to actually put on a whole pound.

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Post by Graham » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:58 pm

12st 6 1/4lb, 44", BMI 26.9, WHtR 65.2%, Body Fat 40.1%, #

I am losing it. Not a happy bunny.

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Post by Graham » Fri Dec 19, 2014 11:06 am

12st 3 1/2lb, 43 3/4", BMI 26.5, WHtR 64.8%, Body Fat 40.3%, # Fasting

I ate a bit less yesterday. I didn't make any particular effort to do that. Only 2 meals, the second a large salad which I didn't then accompany with cooked protein as I thought I'd get indigestion. Earlier in the day I'd spent some time focusing on "needy me" and some food issues, I wonder if that played a part?

If I can drop so much in a day without actually fasting, I wonder how much point there is in fasting. All my faith in it is based on reading stuff, though I do actually enjoy a fast too. The feeling of letting the digestive system empty for longer, letting it rest, there is some pleasure in that alongside the growling.

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Post by Graham » Wed Jan 14, 2015 9:36 am

12st 3 3/4lb, 43 1/2", BMI 26.6, WHtR 64.4%, Body Fat 39.6%, # Fasting

I had a dreadful cold over Christmas. This will be my first fast in many weeks. I hope it, and the post-fast meal go OK. I may not follow my progress so frequently as hitherto, I don't feel so interested in the process at the moment.

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