Sarahkay's Progress

[sarahkay]

Hey everyone!

I'm back again! Joined back in 2010 so it's been a while! I'm glad to be back... I think! I'm nervous... ranted about it a little in the general discussion and found a support buddy!

Today is my first day trying again... So far I am okay. Breakfast wasn't the greatest but since I didn't commit until AFTER breakfast I'm not gonna worry about it haha!

One thing I noticed that I want to make a note of, for myself if nothing else, is that even though I might be scared about getting hungry between meals, most likely I won't. I have noticed that while at school or work, I eat my breakfast before I leave, eat lunch about 4-5 hours later, and eat dinner when I get home. Many times I go to bed without a snack. I don't really feel like eating anymore. It's days that I don't have a set schedule that I end up overeating or finding lots of tasty treats I don't really need! So maybe 3 meals will truly be enough, and I'm scared for nothing.

Here goes Day One! I'll post later tonight or in the morning on my success!

[sarahkay]

Just another thought I had...

I want to exercise but not because I have to go to a gym and force my body to move so I burn calories and prevent muscular dystrophy. I want to be active because its FUN and GOOD for me!

After my first very long day back to work at KI yesterday, I realized it's fun to move. I didn't realize how much I missed it. But I want to be active because it is fun. So I am going to focus more on taking walks, playing catch with my honey, swimming, biking, anything! I don't want to tackle too much right now, so activity for the joy of moving is enough for me right now.

Anyone else feel the same?

[sarahkay]

So far so good! Had to post to keep me motivated today!

Did alright at breakfast, and then started to panic and wanted to give up by lunch. Then I looked up and realized that it was actually lunch time!! So I told myself don't give up! Hang in there! AND I DID!

After dinner will be the biggest challenge! Here I go!

[NoSRocks]

Hi Sarahkay! I remember you from 2010! Nice to hear from you again and WELCOME BACK!

[sarahkay]

Thanks! Unfortunately I'm already wanting to jump off the wagon. I am trying to ask myself why I think it is so difficult. I mean really, what is so tough about this? I'm really not sure...

I feel so frustrated. Today I have been with my boyfriend all day. When we are at his house eating is somewhat sporadic. And he is hungry all the time. So I ate my lunch, and I have successfully waited til dinnertime. He is cooking cutlets right now but he also made butterscotch pudding! and I am starving and dinner won't be ready for a little while. its situations like this that stress me out. i'm very all or nothing and things like this really throw off my groove and make me wanna give up! But I am tired of feeling physically uncomfortable in my own body.

How do you handle weird eating situations?

[Amy3010]

Don't give up! If you have one of those weird days and you can't figure out how to do it within the No-S guidelines, mark it as a red and move on. Just do your best, that is good enough - we don't have to be perfect, we just have to keep trying.

BTW, do you work at King's Island? I lived in Mentor, OH as a kid and it was a big deal to go there (but this is a long time ago)!

[sarahkay]

Last night I decided to "forget it" and not "diet" anymore including No S.

Then I today I was browsing yahoo.com and happened to see a headline about the risks of obesity... that scared me. I may not look obese but according to BMI charts I am. BMI of about 31 or so. And heart disease runs in my family.

I'm not sure how I feel about No S. I don't think I could survive 5 days without sweets. I like to have "real food" at a meal with a little something sweet afterwards.

I know it's early to start making modifications, but I think I could stick to it better if I have "treats" rather than a whole S day. I was thinking 3 S's during the week, whenever I choose, would be okay. So if I'm out with my honey that can be an S. And if Mom makes dessert one night that can be an S. I think I will be more likely to stick to it.

I ate a lot today so far... especially since I woke up not intending to do no s today. So I guess I've had the equivalent of a plate and a half... so I will have a snack before I go to class, then dinner at regular time tonight and see how that goes.

I may or may not keep doing this, but I at least want to try and see how it would feel after the initial shock and depression of not eating what I want and when I want it.

Any advice or encouragement would be great!

[sarahkay]

just double checked my BMI.... 35.3!!!! Now I'm a little worried. Being 20 years old, I don't think I'm at immediate risk, but now is the time to break bad habits while I'm young, right?

I hate being on a diet. Someone make me feel like this isn't a diet!

[Amy3010]

It's not a diet, Sarahkay, it's simply the way you need to live your life to get your BMI down to a healthy number.

Hang in there and don't give up - it gets easier as you go along. Focus on the behavior and the results will follow.

[sarahkay]

Alright, day one and two were both red...

BUT!

Both days I was able to stop after the initial overeating. I didn't continue to binge all day and night. That in itself is a victory.

I am a little disappointed in my two beginning red days, but I have a lot of anxious and panicky moments that make it tough for me. It also was difficult because of being with my boyfriend who eats when his stomach growls which may or may not be at mealtime. I am with him again today after my LAST EXAM OF THE SEMESTER (woo!) and I am hoping to do better. He knows I want to eat in regular meals rather than whenever, and he usually does make us lunch and dinner and normal times.

Today will be better. Especially since I figured out why yesterday was so panicky... we went grocery shopping. Seeing all kinds of good food made me not want to ever say no to any of it!! But that isn't really pleasurable anyway...

Alright time for breakfast. Here I go on Day Three!

[sarahkay]

Feeling better about today. Ate breakfast, which was actually leftovers from last night's dinner; pork sirloin, cabbage, mashed potatoes. Mom saved me a plate since I was out. It was really good. It may be weird for 9:30 in the morning but I prefer normal food in the morning. Maybe cereal sometimes.

The toughest part of the day is lunch and dinner. Breakfast I can do just fine. One thing I find myself doing is going "off" the diet when I get panicked. And then later on when it has subsided or I have overeaten I get back "on". Does anyone else do this?

[Amy3010]

You're doing great by just sticking with it! You're learning new habits and it won't be perfect right away. Enjoy yourself over the weekend and don't stress about it - this is the time to let off steam so you can do a little bit better next week with your green days. Hang in there!

[sarahkay]

Okay, I have to do this. I cannot keep "quitting" when I get anxious. I loved how this weekend I felt strong because of how active I was at work, and I even took on a double when I didn't have to. I love being active and working my ride and feeling strong. And I loved that I didn't feel bloated because I didn't have time to overeat and i was forced to eat at mealtimes anyway because that's when I got a break.

I need to relax, take a deep breath, and just do my best. Take it one day, one meal at a time. Tomorrow shouldn't be too tough. My sweetie and I are having a relaxing day tomorrow which will be nice after 26 hours this weekend!

I will get an official weigh-in tomorrow and post about my day at some point. Going for green!

Thanks to everyone's encouragement. This is a big change for me and I really need the support. I am grateful to you all!

[Amy3010]

I'm glad you're feeling better - hopefully less anxious. The key here is building the "three plate" habit. If that means you have to load up your plates at first to avoid feeling anxious about being restricted, then go ahead and do that. I did that at the beginning and I am finding that as my body is getting used to eating just three times a day, I am slowly being able to reduce the amount on my plates without having that feeling of panic.

You are doing great - keep it up!

[milliem]

Hi Sarah, just wanted to pop in and say well done for sticking with NoS even if it is tough for you right now! I also have an OH who eats all the time because he can, and it's frustrating sometimes! I guess it's important to remember that people are different, and we need to do what helps us

If you don't mind me asking, what is it that you feel panicked about? Is it the prospect of not eating, or being hungry, or something else? Maybe you could try having a little game or experiment with yourself - allow yourself to eat when you want, but see how long it takes to actually get hungry. Really listen to your body and figure out whether it is hunger, habit or emotion that is asking you to reach for food. You can try having a drink of water or milk or something at first, see if that satiates you for a while.

If all three rules are proving tricky, you could try adding one at a time until you feel comfortable with them? For example in the first week try and do 'no sweets', then the second week 'no sweets and no seconds' and then the third week 'no sweets, seconds OR snacks'.

Keep at it, this isn't a diet, it's moderate eating for life!

[sarahkay]

Thanks guys!! getting on here in the morning and seeing the replies really gets me pumped!

Milliem, I think I get panicked at the idea of "missing out" on some delicious something because it's a snack or sweet on an N day. I know I can have it on an S day, but sometimes the occasion pops up somewhere else, like my crew went out to dinner after work, or mom brought home ice cream or something like that. I know it isn't a huge deal but for some reason it really makes me anxious that I will be miserable all the time if I can't have those things. Silly, but very real in my noggin!

Today I weighed 191.2 lbs (I'm 5'2"). That is already a few pounds down! But it's from the crazy sweating and working this weekend, but it still makes me smile!

Here goes Monday!

PS. Perhaps the anxiety has to be waited out? I know in dealing with OCD, my therapist discussed waiting for anxiety to pass. It will peak, and it will be terrible, but it will come down. It HAS TO come down. This anxiety won't be that intense... maybe at the most extreme a 6 or 7 on a 1-10 scale? And most days probably are more of a 5-6. Just something that came to me!

[milliem]

PS. Perhaps the anxiety has to be waited out? I know in dealing with OCD, my therapist discussed waiting for anxiety to pass. It will peak, and it will be terrible, but it will come down. It HAS TO come down. This anxiety won't be that intense... maybe at the most extreme a 6 or 7 on a 1-10 scale? And most days probably are more of a 5-6. Just something that came to me!

That's a great way to look at it - if you've felt anxious before you know that it passes and that it's not going to last forever! It's just a case of reminding yourself of that

As for missing out, I totally get it. It took me a while to realise that waiting at the most for 5 days isn't a disaster! Plus, the great thing about NoS is that you can go out and eat and socialise with workmates or friends - just keep it to a plateful of savoury stuff!

[sarahkay]

Yeah this is SO TRUE! I don't have to be an oddball which is nice since my coworkers love to go to a local bar and grill after work. I can still get wings and a side... just one plate's worth!

Yesterday was GREEN!

It was a little sketchy at dinner with a lot of virtual plating because of the situation, but today was much better than ANY of my other days. Green days are about building habit, and I definitely got WAY closer to that yesterday! so in my book, it was green!

So far so good today. Slept in pretty late and ate "breakfast" which was actually a lunch at 11:30am, so I will have dinner with my family around 5 or 6 and then maybe a small mini-meal later if I am really hungry before bed. Sounded reasonable to me.

I would like to walk today also to get some exercise in. I'm not very fit so a nice 30 minute walk is perfect for me. I feel like I did something and my heart rate goes up, but I don't feel like I'm gasping for air!

Here's to a good day!

PS. Today I was 190.4 lbs! yesterday was 191.2! simply not having as much food in my stomach is making me weigh less. neat! I'm not "officially" weighing myself until next week though

[milliem]

Fab job on the green day, well done!!

[sarahkay]

Today is GREEN!

I woke up late and had lunch as my first meal haha! Ramen noodles.

Then for dinner I had chicken and mashed potatoes.

And I will eat a small meal if I get hungry before bed as my supper.

GREAT DAY!! I am so excited!! I even got scared at dinner thinking oh no one plate will never fill me up! But I slowed down and savored my plate, and by the end I felt comfortably full. It was the perfect amount!

And right now I am baking a lovely carrot cake for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow. Needless to say tomorrow is an S day well deserved in my opinion! This was a HUGE step for me!

SO PUMPED I CAN'T STAND IT!

[sarahkay]

Enjoyed my darling's birthday yesterday! I make a great cake if I do say so myself!

The shocking part was... I really didn't pig out! Yes, I did overeat technically but it was much less than normal. I didn't want to mess things up from my N days, and I also didn't want to feel so bloated and sluggish I couldn't drag myself home.

Today is an N day and I am happy it is. I had the thought yesterday from my inner piggy saying, "See how great this is! you don't need no s! David thinks you are beautiful and you have accepted this weight quite a bit... look how nice it is to eat goodies when you want!" But then I told my inner piggy that it was only nice because I knew sanity would return tomorrow. If I did that every day I would start to not feel so good and I would get bigger and more unhealthy. I am completely at peace and excited even to be back on an N day today!

Anyone who has read my posts knows that that is absolutely opposite of last week!!

This is working. I feel like I could really do this! Here goes my next GREEN day!

[Amy3010]

I am so happy for you!!! You are doing great, and best of all, proving to yourself that you CAN do this, when last week you were doubting yourself. Keep on going!

[sarahkay]

Thanks so much Amy! I'm glad you didn't give up on me haha!

[sarahkay]

Today is GREEN!!!

I really wanted to make a mental note of something that happened today.

It was around 4:00 in the afternoon, and I brought my mom a subway sandwich because she forgot to bring a lunch (well, dinner). It was cheaper to buy a footlong and I could have half.

Well having that lovely sandwich in my fridge was sooo tempting! But it was only 4:00, I wasn't hungry yet, and it would be silly to eat dinner so early!

So I told myself do not panic, do not jump off the wagon. Find something to do for an hour and reassess the situation. So I picked up The Hunger Games (finally got a copy from the library!) and read for an hour. By 5:00 I was still not hungry, but also not worried about it anymore. I found something better to do! I was completely engrossed in The Hunger Games when hunger hit around 5:30. I had a nice grumbly belly and even FINISHED the chapter before I got up to have my veggie filled sandwich and yogurt.

I have to remember that. Just wait. You have to get hungry eventually!

I FEEL GREAT!!

[grantmeserenity]

Good job sarahkay! I love the Hunger Games. I still have yet to see the movie!

Today is GREEN!!!

I really wanted to make a mental note of something that happened today.

It was around 4:00 in the afternoon, and I brought my mom a subway sandwich because she forgot to bring a lunch (well, dinner). It was cheaper to buy a footlong and I could have half.

Well having that lovely sandwich in my fridge was sooo tempting! But it was only 4:00, I wasn't hungry yet, and it would be silly to eat dinner so early!

So I told myself do not panic, do not jump off the wagon. Find something to do for an hour and reassess the situation. So I picked up The Hunger Games (finally got a copy from the library!) and read for an hour. By 5:00 I was still not hungry, but also not worried about it anymore. I found something better to do! I was completely engrossed in The Hunger Games when hunger hit around 5:30. I had a nice grumbly belly and even FINISHED the chapter before I got up to have my veggie filled sandwich and yogurt.

I have to remember that. Just wait. You have to get hungry eventually!

I FEEL GREAT!!

[milliem]

Brilliant sarahkay - it's really something to learn to eat when you are hungry and not out of habit! Plus, hunger isn't an immediate problem for us - we can wait half an hour or even longer and everything will be ok

p.s. I love the hunger games books too, how are you finding it?

[Amy3010]

That's awesome! And how appropriate that it was The Hunger Games that got you through it - in a certain way we are playing our own kind of hunger games here with No-S, aren't we?

PS: I really enjoyed those books too!

[sarahkay]

yesterday was an S day. And I discovered that I overate because I almost felt obligated to "enjoy" it. But it wasn't that enjoyable. I will probably not vary too much from normal on those days, or at least not as much.

Today was GREEN! I ate my three meals and I feel good. Now that I'm home after 13 hours at the amusement park working, I am pretty exhausted! I am wanting food... I guess as comfort. But I know it won't really comfort me. And really what I want is some water. I just opened a bottle and it is lovely!

I think I'm on to something with No S

[Amy3010]

You are!

[sarahkay]

It's going to be tough to not overeat pizza today for dinner... I've decided two slices is appropriate. So I will savor them and then push my plate away.
It is going to be tough but I want to call it a green day! But I am really tempted to have more than 2 slices after such a miserable day at work in the rain! *deep breaths* what do i do?!

[sarahkay]

the pizza got the best of me

but I realized it really wasn't that great. eating "as much as I want" was not all that pleasurable. I felt really stuffed and uncomfortable and almost sick. I remembered how good it felt last night when I came home from work and I didn't snack. I felt light and peaceful.

I wanted to give up, but then I thought about how even the most inspirational people here have fails sometimes!! So, it's okay.

Tomorrow will be better. I had several good days in an row already, and that is more than I have ever done! Not having a fail for 6 days is quite the accomplishment... No need to be hard on myself. Mark it and move on.

[Amy3010]

That is exactly the right way to handle a fail - learn something from it and then move on. Because beating ourselves up never got us anywhere, did it? You're doing great - have a good week!

[sarahkay]

thanks!

Unfortunately, Monday was a fail. But today is a SUCCESS!!

I find that right after I finish my meal I really really REALLY want more! But if I wait about 5 - 10 minutes the feeling passes and I'm glad that I stuck to it and stopped eating.

I have to remember that and make myself wait out that initial anxiety. Afterward I feel so proud and satisfied and comfortable.

I am learning so much in just a week's time!

I keep thinking of what my mom told me a few days ago when I get down and want to give up. "Six months, a year, whatever will pass, whether you want it to or not. Do you want to be thinner or bigger?"

That is so true. I could give up and give in to what I "think" I want now, or look at the big picture and what I really want. I love this plan! For once, I feel like I have turned a corner. A big, scary, emotional corner!

The other night I cried in my boyfriend's arms about all my confusion and frustration with trying to lose weight. As usual he always knows what to say, and was very reassuring. But usually when I am like that, I give up on whatever diet I am trying. This time I knew I wasn't giving up, just having a rough time. I didn't really want to give up. I just wanted to vent about my frustration from some cravings and anxiety. He also said he would love to start walking with me regularly because he wants to be more fit too! So now I have a walking buddy!

At first I was trying to have S days twice a week but not necessarily on Saturday and Sunday since I'm usually working those days. But it didn't seem to work well. So I'm doing Vanilla No S. Tomorrow I am going to Kings Island with my sister, and I am allowing myself a blue ice cream cone because we both love them. But the rest of the day is strictly an N day.

I am feeling so pumped about this! I really feel like I can do it this time! Something inside me has finally clicked. I am losing weight for me not someone else, I accept myself as is and I am living today not 50 pounds from now, and I want to improve my health not just my appearance. I think it took a long time to reach those conclusions, but now that I have everything seems to be falling into place.

Pumped to succeed again tomorrow! Like a friend/supervisor of mine always says at work, "BEST DAY EVER!" (Because each day is better than the last.)

[Amy3010]

I deal with that same feeling of wanting more after finishing a meal, and you know, you are right about it going away after a few minutes. Thanks for the reminder!

Have a great day with your sister - and congratulations on your renewed positivity and most of all, not giving up.

[tobiasmom]

Just wanted to come say hi. I remember you from back when I started No-S in 2010. I'm back at it again too. This is such a sane lifestyle. We just have to stay "out of our diet heads"!

Have a wonderful day!

[sarahkay]

thanks guys! unfortunately today was not so great.

I was fine at breakfast and lunch. Then my sister and I were at Kings Island and I ended up having half an icee, an ice cream cone, and chili cheese fries. I mean I probably didn't totally destroy my efforts, I am just upset that I couldn't resist just because I was in a fun environment. Fun does not equal overeating; but in my past mentality it does. Just something to work on I guess.

Tomorrow will be better. One positive is that I didn't just binge all night. I stopped, realized what I really needed was water, not more overeating. And now I'm drinking some water and feeling better. That is a step. I didn't throw in the towel!

[Amy3010]

Good for you for recognizing what you did right yesterday!

[sarahkay]

Thanks!

Thursday was a success, and so was today!!

I also had an AMAZING triumph today! I was on my dinner break at work. I ate a good lunch on my first break, but I was forced to buy my second meal. I got mini corn dogs and fries. I knew I needed another little something on my plate to make it through the evening, but I was already in line and caught a glimpse of sour patch kids. I grabbed them. It fit on my plate after all.

Well I ate my meal, and ate maybe 4 or 5 of the sour patch kids and realized it wasn't very good. I really didn't want anymore. And instead of eating it anyway, I handed my candy over to a friend instead! Can you believe that?!

I am almost sad tomorrow is an S day, but I know the break is important to maintain success during the week.

Happy weekend No S-ers!

[Amy3010]

Good for you!!! Have a great weekend!

[sarahkay]

Saturday wasn't too bad. I am glad it was an S day because I was extra hungry for some reason!

I ate oatmeal with sliced banana, and a slice of toast with peanutbutter for breakfast. In two hours I was hungry again! So I ate a couple drop biscuits my honey made.

I was hungry by dinnertime at work, and I had two cheese coneys and fries, and a Mr. Goodbar. And when I got home I had a slice and a half of pizza.

It wasn't structured, but I feel like I probably didn't overeat too bad. It made me want to not do No S and eat like that. But eventually I would start to overeat again. The gentle structure of No S is going to be more helpful I think.

Weighed in after about two weeks Saturday morning: 190.2

[sarahkay]

I am a little nervous about the freedom of the weekend coming to a close, but I am also excited to return to normal. I am absolutely determined to have 5 green days in a row this week!!

I took a huge step this weekend and told my dear boyfriend about No S. I knew he would be supportive, and I knew he would never judge or criticize if I mess up. What was holding me back was that if I told him, I knew he would be so supportive! I would have no excuse such as "well David made these wonderful cookies and I just had to have one" or "he made us a snack I didn't want to say no". He even said he would do it with me! I told him he didn't have to, that I just wanted him to cheer me on and he said he would like to eat on a more regular schedule. (He isn't overweight really.) I was scared to tell him about it because I knew I pretty much couldn't fail with him around. And that is wonderful but also scary because hanging out with him was the toughest thing to battle. But if he makes it easy on me and doesn't get snacks out and such... then I can't go wrong. And I am almost as scared of success as I am failure. I can't quite explain it. Does anyone else feel that way? Maybe the thought of maintaining my success is what scares me. Not sure...

I am pumped to start another week though. I am going to get 5 green days in a row! I am determined!

Have a great Monday No S-ers!

[Amy3010]

I didn't tell anyone for the first month I was doing No-S - I guess like you I wanted to give myself an "out" if I failed! Then when I told my husband and three teens, they thought it was cool. Now of course, my youngest will ask me if it is an S day if he sees me eating something snacky

It sounds like your weekend went well!

[sarahkay]

It really did! Not really any overeating, just had some goodies.

Monday 5/21 was a SUCCESS!

Today 5/22 was ALSO a SUCCESS!

I feel amazing! I feel empowered and strong. And light on my feet and energetic. I feel more energetic now when I'm tired than when I pigged out daily on a full night's rest, if that makes sense. It's so cool. Especially since I need a LOT of energy to get through my long shifts working the ride.

I reread the section of the book about habit. I think my habit is starting to develop. The way I see it, my habit used to be when I wanted to eat something beyond one plate, I went ahead and ate it. Then I started causing problems by starting to say no and try doing No S. Now I am slowly building the No S habit and when I want to eat something I'm not supposed to have my new habit pulls me in the right direction. My old habit still liked to put up a fight but it is getting easier. Especially since I am realizing that I won't starve, I won't be deprived of good food, and I will feel great. I am learning so much about myself and my eating habits!

I am so excited and I am so grateful to everyone here on this board who constantly keeps me motivated. You guys are so inspiring and helpful. If it weren't for this forum, I would have given up already and probably never looked back. Thank you all!

I think I am going to make a notecard with my reasons for losing weight and doing No S, and maybe make up my own little mantra. I will keep it in my pocket or wallet to look at when I am feeling down.

Okay one more thing before I end this novel! On break today, I had a HUGE success!! I had packed my lunch, but when I got to the break room the food they were making in the cafeteria part smelled really good. So I bought an iced tea which I intended to do for my drink, and I also bought the cheesy breadsticks. At that point I had way too much food available. I had to decide if I would eat it all or save some and still eat one plate. I ate my breadsticks and part of my packed lunch, making up one plate. I put the rest in my lunchbox and DIDN'T TOUCH IT! I even sat at the table talking to other workers who were still eating and didn't even nibble! I felt great physically and mentally. I could not have done that in a million years! I am so proud of myself!

Gonna mark green on my habitcal and grin all night!

[Amy3010]

The habit section in the book is really, really helpful - I've re-read it myself a couple times. I think building the habit is really the core to why this works so well...like you said, our good habits will start pulling us in the direction we want to go.

So glad to hear you are doing so well!!! And thank you to you as well for being a supportive commenter here - I agree with you on how amazing and helpful the support is here.

[sarahkay]

Had to pop in to say I am back in the 180's!! This morning I weighed 189.8!!

[Gobble]

Woot, woot, woot!!! That is great, Sarahkay......I would love to see that number....so happy for you!

[NoSRocks]

Sarahkay, this is absolutely wonderful! You are making GREAT progress and I am really enjoying your posts! Thanks for such a positive message... I really needed to hear it today of all days, since I am struggling a little and definitely could do with the positive feedback and reinforcement.... aka kick in the b&&ut!!

[Amy3010]

Way to go!!!

[sarahkay]

Friday and Saturday were my S days... I couldn't make it til Saturday. But I don't see my boyfriend on the weekends usually so I would never get a treat with him, and we love to bake!

So my plan is Friday and Saturday for now.

I did soooo well this week! Four successful days IN A ROW!!! I can't remember the last time I stuck to a diet so well! I enjoyed my S days, but I am looking forward to being back to normal eating tomorrow.

During my S days I didn't do too bad. Friday night I had an icee and later on, a cookie. And then today I had an ice cream cup, seconds at dinner, and a Mr. Goodbar at lunch... not too bad. I mean I definitely indulged, but I think it will be okay. New week!

[sarahkay]

big fat red today.

[sarahkay]

another red yesterday.

What's my deal??

I just didn't want to follow the rules. It wasn't the usual panicked, bingey, anxious feeling. It was a calm decision to eat sweets or to have a large meal. I am not normally like that... I was HAPPY on No S... why is it different?

It could possibly be that time of the month, as my mother suggested. I am about to throw in the towel.... definitely need some motivation guys.

[Amy3010]

Don't throw in the towel! Just by reading a few posts on the boards it sounds like a lot of us have been having a tough time - could it be the long weekend? the nice weather? I don't know, but instead of giving up this should be a sign that we should recommit to this even more. When things get hard and we persist, that is when we make the most progress.

Hang in there!!!

[sarahkay]

Thanks Amy! I do feel better today. Not sure what the deal was, but that isn't important I suppose.

I'm going for green today!

[tobiasmom]

I'm with ya! I've been struggling to get more than one green day in a row for quite some time now. But I'm committed to do this with you and all the others here in our situation! We know it's best for us. Our minds just play tricks on us!

[milliem]

Glad you are feeling better today

You're probably right, it's not that important why you wobbled - what's way more important is that you got through it! Well done!

[sarahkay]

Today was a SUCCESS!

I feel like I want to eat... but then I thought, unless it was something really special, it probably wouldn't taste that good. And I think part of my problem is thirst mistaken for hunger or craving.

Anyway, I have another green under my belt, and I'm headed to the testimonials thread for motivation!

Thanks to everyone that listened to me whine!

[Amy3010]

You're welcome - that's what these boards are here for! Glad you had a good day!

[sarahkay]

I sort of gave up for a while....

I was being a rebel to myself I suppose... but I want to try again this month. This week. This day. I am not happy like this. And I'm realizing how uncomfortable I am. And even if I could accept my weight and be happy with it, I still am concerned about health problems. I know by the time I'm 40 or 50 I will be feeling it. I have the benefit of being young right now but it won't last forever.

I am feeling pretty good about it today. I'm extra pumped because of good stuff happening in my life! I may be promoted to CT (certified trainer) at Kings Island!

[sarahkay]

Today... is there something between a green and red on an N day?

I had seconds of mashed potatoes at dinner... and I had a coke at lunch and a chocolate bar.... but other than that I was a good girl! And after having a case of "I don't care" for a couple weeks, I think today was pretty good if I stop eating for the night.

So I marked it green, and tomorrow is a new day.

Mom found some old pictures from 2007, my freshman year in high school, when I was 120 pounds, a size 8, and.. well quite frankly, HOT!
They were Prom pictures!! I was THIN!! I look totally different! My face is different and everything! I must have flipped through those photos 5 times... just staring at my body. I don't know that I could ever be that small again since I was 15 then (I'm 20 now), but even getting back to a size 12 would make me happy. (I'm a 16-18 now.)

It was very interesting... I might hang them up for motivation. I may not get to that weight again, but I know I could easily maintain a slimmer body and feel good again like I did in those pictures. I could feel as beautiful and hot and at peace with myself as I did in that beautiful Prom dress.

[Amy3010]

Glad you came back! I have those rebellious days too...

The best thing we can do is keep on going!

[sarahkay]

Yesterday was red...

Gave up on it when I was with boyfriend. Which is silly. But today I am at work for a double, 9am-10pm. I will only have three opportunities to eat anyway if you count breakfast at home before I leave.

I'm wondering about letting myself have sweets any day of the week but only if it fits on my plate. But at the same time, I feel like S days will be sort of worthless at that point. But I hate turning down brownies with David or Starbucks with friends. Any suggestions?

[sarahkay]

I had a great talk with both my mom and a good friend from work today. I finally just got angry about being overweight. About being obese, actually. I got angry and now I'm ready to change.

My friend Erika says we have to be bigger than our problems. So I am taking charge of this problem, rather than letting it control me, my emotions, my health.

I hope I can keep up my motivation, and I hope when it falters I will get angry again and keep going.

Today is an S day anyway, but I probably could call it green. Tomorrow is also, but I'm not going to use that as an excuse to go wild. This summer is going to be my own personal makeover. I'm going to makeover the way I eat, my relationship with food, and my weight/appearance. Which will increase my confidence.

I am clinging to this pumped feeling tightly... I hope it stays! For good!

[sarahkay]

Saturday and Sunday were both green!!

I know it was the weekend, but I didn't want to lose momentum waiting for Monday.... lol and I still enjoyed a treat or two but it was within my plate.

Part of me wants to try to allow sweets if they fit on my plate, but I feel like they will cost many more calories than what might have gone there, such as a granola bar, a yogurt, a slice of bread.

But, doesn't leaving sweets for the weekend only make you want them more? Doesn't it just make them seem "off limits" and give them more power? I don't know... for now I'm sticking to Vanilla, but if I absolutely need a mod in order to stick to it, then I will reconsider.

ANYWAY, two good days, and working on a third. I think Mom and Erika were right. You have to GET ANGRY. I am going to make a big calendar for my bedroom also where I can color in a big ol' green each day! And I will post encouraging statements and pictures even.

Jumping in head first is probably better than tiptoeing on the edge at this point.

GET ANGRY!
Be bigger than your problems!
And remember... 6 MONTHS FROM NOW!

[JayEll]

Sorry, double post! See below.

[JayEll]

But, doesn't leaving sweets for the weekend only make you want them more? Doesn't it just make them seem "off limits" and give them more power? I don't know... for now I'm sticking to Vanilla, but if I absolutely need a mod in order to stick to it, then I will reconsider.

Some of us have done this weight loss dance for a long time, and as one, I can tell you that there is a big difference between having sweets allowed (on S days) and not ever having them, or only having them in very limited quantities that you have to count, weigh, or measure (as is the case on some weight loss programs).

In my experience, being allowed sweets at least two days out of every seven gives them LESS power and makes them seem LESS off limits. Yes, I do enjoy having sweets on S days--but in the past I was always feeling guilty if I ate them at all.

Keep on going! S days come around before you know it!

[sarahkay]

So... I think I'm diving in. I'm a little nervous.

For now, I'm letting myself have sweets if they fit on my plate. not at every meal every day of course, but for now I'm doing the snacks and seconds part... I'll work on the sweets in a week or two or whenever I feel I can do it without falling off the wagon.

I am going to avoid S days for the most part except for obvious special days. I feel like eating moderately 95% of the time is a better goal for me. The weekends throw me off.

I realize this isn't exactly No S, but I will probably still post and get advice here because it is closest to what I am trying to do.

[sarahkay]

Today I have decided to dive in. It is time.

I don't think it will be as bad as I think it will be... but I am not healthy. And no matter how much I try to accept this weight, I just know I am not as healthy as I should be. I know I have some discomfort because of it. And I want to prevent health problems down the road.

Like carpediem said, I need to dive in! So here I go...

I am going to phase in No Sweets after a week or so. Right now that would be enough to make me throw in the towel! But I will make sure they fit on my plate and are a reasonable portion of my plate!

Weight: 191.6

B: (more like early lunch)chicken fajita, iced coffee with milk and sugar

L:

D:

[carpediem]

Haven't heard from you in awhile. How ya doin??

[carpediem]

I goofed. Was reading your post but didn't go to the second page...so thought you had last entered in May. Sorry!

So glad you're taking the dive, Sarah! Not sure how I feel about allowing sweets during the week, as long as they fit on the plate. If I tried that, I think I would be skipping the veggies so I could add a couple brownies ya know?? But if it works for you then that's all that matters. We all have to do what is best for us; each journey is unique.

I especially am impressed with your comments regarding your need to attack this thing when you're young instead of waiting until you have the added stress on your body that comes with age. Very insightful and proactive! When I was 20 I don't think I gave much thought to where I would be 20 or 30 or 40 years from then. You're way ahead of the game! Keep up the good work!

[sarahkay]

Friday 6/22: Success!

Saturday 6/23: Success! (Made this one green just because I got started again on a Friday!)

Today Sunday 6/24: S Day

I went shopping the other day, and I found a great outfit! I looked gorgeous and I felt great about myself, despite being larger than I want to be.

It is so much easier to take care of yourself and your eating when you feel good about yourself to start with! Doing good so far... tomorrow will be challenging because I'm going on a date. But that doesn't mean that going out to eat has to be a fail... just get a to-go box if necessary, right?

[Amy3010]

Wonderful! I hope your date goes well!

[Jennifer24747]

Wearing an outfit that makes me feel great always makes it easier to stay on track!

[sarahkay]

6/25: Success!

Weight: 191.8


I'm wearing my awesome outfit and feeling HOT! My date is going to be wonderful! We're celebrating our one year anniversary together, which was actually the 23rd, but we were working!

We are seeing a movie and going out to dinner. A pretty typical date, but because of our work schedules we haven't gone out in forever!! So I am very excited! I am planning on having a drink at the movies to avoid snacking, and I'll sip on something low cal... I like to bring a fruit flavored sparkling water. That makes me feel like I have a treat but without actually snacking or having sweets.

Then when we go out to dinner I will have one plate. I'm not sure where he's taking us, so I will have to make the best choice I can make when I get there. And I will take some home if it is a big plate. And then I'll have a lunch already packed for tomorrow!

I'm feeling calm and ready for the day. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

[sarahkay]

6/26: Success!

Weight: 190

Today was one of those days where I just barely was able to say it was green. But I stopped damage before it really got started and that is a huge step for me.

Today's another day!

[sarahkay]

6/27: Success!

Weight: 190.2

I succeeded! It wasn't too difficult either. I actually need to eat dinner now, but I know I wil be fine so I went ahead and posted! Going for my 4th green in a row tomorrow!

[carpediem]

YAY!!!

[sarahkay]

6/28: Fail

Weight: 189.8

6/29: Fail

Weight: 190.4

Last couple days weren't too great. But even though I broke the "rules", I didn't go completely overboard. Yesterday for instance, I overate at Burger King on my date, but I stopped there and didn't eat again for the rest of the evening. I was glad i didn't. I would have felt really sick.

I hate going from failure days to S days because I feel like I already had them. I want to get back on track! But an S day doesn't have to be off track... just include a special treat!

I felt amazing when I got up Thursday morning. Three green days in a row made me feel light and not bloated, and I wore an adorable outfit that looked great. I felt awesome. And when I picked up my man from work and we went out, I felt so great about myself walking around with him. I just can't panic and jump off the wagon. Fails happen. I'm just now getting back into the swing of things. So three green days in a row is actually excellent for starting out!

[sarahkay]

So today I wanted to not do No S at all... but then I thought, "today is an S day!" I think I feel like I shouldn't let myself completely free on S days, but maybe that's why I need them. So I don't get into that "I'm not going to have any rules" mode and then do whatever I want and risk gaining more.

Maybe having S days gives me that "freedom", only I return to N days on Monday morning and feel better...

I'm going to try that. Instead of deciding to "forget diets", I'll allow my frustration and my rebellious side to come out this weekend, and I guarantee by Monday I'll be ready for some structure. Plus, I haven't been going to wild anyway because I'm starting to feel like it is odd to eat outside mealtimes.

Anyway, that is my plan. Stick it out through the feelings, have my S days, and then get back on track on Monday.

[good enough]

Sounds like a plan! Keep up the good work!

[NoSnacker]

Thanks for stopping by my daily!!

I was thinking, boy if I could get the thoughts in the right place, dieting, losing weight wouldn't be an issue, as I would be normal

For July I hope to not binge as that is my biggest problem, the WTH effect.

Hope you have a great July as well...

[Amy3010]

I noticed something you wrote which is a huge sign that you are moving in the right direction: "it is starting to feel odd to eat outside of mealtimes" !
This is exactly what we are shooting for on No-S, so good for you!

[sarahkay]

6/30: S Day

7/1: S Day

7/2: Fail

7/3: ???

Weight: 189.8

It was nice to have S days, but I definitely ate a lot!

Yesterday, Monday, I started out okay. I skipped breakfast because I was so late in the morning. I ate a good lunch on break at work. Then after work David and I went to Walmart to buy groceries. We were so hungry that we ate snacks on the way back home, plus dinner. Looking back at it, the snack and dinner would have fit on one plate... but then I ate dessert too! Nooo! But I'll do better today. It would have been hard to say no to dessert when David bought them especially for us. But it is what it is. I'll do better today

[sarahkay]

My goal is to actually stick to No S for one full month, no matter what kind of rebellious or cranky feelings I have! I really believe this is the only way out of overweightdom for me, and I have to stick to it!

I also love the idea that NoSnacker had about green being a perfect No S day, yellow being not perfect but still within reason, and red being pig-out, binge days. I may try to incorporate that a little bit. If it doesn't work for me, I can always omit that and do vanilla no s! Here's to a great month!

6/30: S Day
7/1: S Day
7/2: Borderline... food intake wasn't terrible, but the feeling behind it was crazed eating so I'm calling it a red... red as in "warning, be careful!" Not red as in fail. (189.8 lbs)
7/3: Fail.
7/4: Took a dietary break fourth through seventh, was seeing how I would do just listening to my stomach and stopping when i feel full. It semi works. I feel pretty good. But it is easy to overdo it.
7/5: "
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[sarahkay]

Hey No Sers!

I am back after a loooong break. Fortunately, I haven't gained any weight, still right about the 190 mark.

I was tired of dieting and such, but found I cannot seem to "behave" on my own. I need some rules... just not too many.

After trying different approaches, I have found myself desperately turning back to No S.

I think I have to accept that it isn't going to be fun every day. It isn't going to feel good to say no to sweets. It isn't going to feel good to say no to seconds. But it will feel good later that day, or week, or month, when I don't feel bloated or uncomfortable. I know I need to do this, and just deal with the discomforts, which are really very mild. And I know in the long run, this will become natural and make me happy.

Anyway, I kind of just had a last hoorah... even though I know that's bad. But I know I won't be hungry again this evening, and I am too full to want anything. Tomorrow is Friday, weird day to start, but I will commit to a green day and then the weekend is right around the corner.

Anyone that has taken a few times to get No S to "stick", leave me some responses with your stories! I love to read them!

[tobiasmom]

Great to see you back. I have been on and off for a while now. I, like you, go try my own thing and realize No-S is the only sane way of doing it. I am now here for the long haul (currently doing it tHrough my pregnancy). I know we can do this!!

[Amy3010]

Welcome back Sarah!

[sarahkay]

Thanks ladies! I think accepting that it won't always be easy in the moment has helped me a lot. I had to realize that sometimes good things are still challenging.

This is my first day back, and I'm glad to have sanity in place for the day... no worrying about what I'm going to eat today! I'm currently eating mini wheats for breakfast... love these things!

[r.jean]

I have not left No S at all, but I have certainly faltered during my second year. I made a vow early on to make this my plan for life. I saw others come and go and constantly start over, and I was determined that would not be me. I focused on weight maintenance because I gained alarming amounts in my 50s. This focus helped me to lose 50 plus pounds.

This summer has tested my resolve. I continued some of the basic habits but fell away from posting. For the first time (other than vacations), I did not keep up with my habitcal.

I am getting back on track with a new resolve to just focus on the basic habits. I tend to go through times of expecting perfection after a lapse in habit. This tendency leads to more failure.

What works for me:
--Take it one day at a time.
--If you do fail, do not turn little failures into big failures.
--Stick to Vanilla No S. Do not add restrictions or cheat with unnecessary modifications. (This is to acknowledge that some people have legitimate health reasons for modifications.)
--Find a middle road on weekends and holidays. Enjoy your S days without going hog wild all the time.
--Find a middle road on your daily plates. They do not all have to be perfect nor should they all be heaping with unhealthy food.
--Weigh less often. If you must step on the scale daily, record less often. (I have been recording monthly, but I am working on quarterly now to see how that works.).
--Remember the big picture and celebrate your successes. (A pedicure is often my self reward.)
--Get some exercise. Find ways to move more It helps the mood.
--Visit this forum often. Use the habit cal.

Forgive my rambling, but this been helpful for me to refocus. Maybe it will help you as well

[sarahkay]

Hello all!

I am returning to No S... again.

I find that I cannot do this intuitive/naturally thin person thing. I have too many emotional uses for food in my life!

But I also realize I do not need to obsess. I have been obsessing about food and weight issues for MONTHS. My wonderful boyfriend (of over 15 months now!) has been great, listening to my rants and frustration and giving me a shoulder to cry on. But I finally realized I must work on not obsessing about it, and working on loving myself right now.

To do that, I've started focusing on LIFE! Relationships with others, journaling, nails (I started painting them and taking care of them so I would stop biting them... so much fun!), reading, studying for my classes...

I also have come to enjoy moving my body. I want to be more active, not in a hit-the-gym way, but just enjoying moving. I also want to have a few days a week where I have a brisk walk or something planned, but I want to enjoy activity outside my "workout" routine, too.

My biggest realization was this: If I want to maintain/lose weight, I MUST say no at some point.

Whether it's to a snack, a dessert, whatever. Whether I'm eating intuitively or following a plan, there will be times when I must decline a food. It sucks. But everyone who has a normal weight does it.

So I decided that the idea of three meals appeals to me because I know I have the guarantee of food again and I don't have to worry about eating at odd times and such. A little more routine.

I had an S day on Thursday and Friday (yesterday), so I am actually back to N days for today and tomorrow even though it's the weekend.

Here's to a great day!

<3 Sarah

[sarahkay]

I've really been thinking of starting a youtube channel... and posting videos about my progress and such. It would be super motivating to me, and hopefully to others, especially young women struggling with food, weight issues, and self esteem/body image like me!!

What do you guys think? Good idea, or not?