gk's fresh start

[gk]

What better way to start good eating habits than on the first day of spring?

Yep, I'm back. My last challenge (the one that I wanted to lose 10 lbs. before my vacation?) didn't turn out the best. Didn't lose any weight - gained a couple. However, by the way I ate while I was gone, it's a miracle I didn't gain more than a couple pounds. I guess the miles and miles and MILES that we walked helped quite a bit.

Anyway, I'm finally ready to resume my attempt at better eating habits. The warmer weather is reminding me that I don't feel comfortable 20 lbs. overweight, and I'm ready to put in the effort it will take to shed those extra pounds. I'd really like to be near my goal weight sometime this summer/fall, but we'll see how it goes. Not going to stress about it this time around.

I just can't seem to stick to Vanilla No S very long, so I've decided to do modified No S, spreading out my S's.......

- 3 meals (really leaning toward healthier foods)
- 1 snack (to ward off throwing in the towel at 4:00)
- 1 sweet after supper
- No regular S Days (weekends), just holidays, birthdays, etc.

I think this will be the best plan for me. I still expect to see weight loss with these mods, because my eating has gotten so out of hand, that this is a major cutback in food intake and heavier foods.

Looking forward to feeling better and much lighter!

[gk]

As you can see above, I did a little modifying to the plan already. I get so psyched about starting the diet that I think I can just bite the bullet and do Vanilla right off the bat. Nope.....not when my eating habits are so out of hand to begin with.

I usually don't give myself a success if I change the rules mid-day, but this time I will. I was so hungry last night it's amazing that I didn't jump into the snacks and eat more than 1 dessert. But before I ate my dessert last night, I had a very light supper and then stopped at one dessert.

Sooo...Tuesday - Success

As I'm starting my Wednesday, it doesn't seem as daunting as I was feeling last night. My husband slowed down his drinking by having just one drink per day and has stuck to it. I think the same thing for desserts will work for me. This will help with bingeing on the weekends as well, I think.

[Sweetness]

Gk, Welcome back. Your mods look good for starters. We're pulling for you!

[milliem]

Welcome back gk, good to (virtually) see you here again

A plan is surely better than no plan even if it's not Vanilla! Do you think you'll work your way towards Vanilla or just see where structured eating gets you?

[gk]

Thanks, Patty and Milliem.

Do you think you'll work your way towards Vanilla or just see where structured eating gets you?

I would like to someday be able to comfortably do Vanilla, but I'm not sure if that will ever be sustainable for me. However, I've read many posts here of people who used to be permasnackers or chocoholics and have it completely under control now, without effort. I guess I'll just take it slow and see what happens.

[gk]

Wednesday - Success

Even with my mods, I wanted to munch on snacks and sweets Wednesday night. However, it wasn't due to hunger - purely habit and wanting comfort foods.

My thoughts during those cravings? "You have two mods that allow this plan to be very do-able. Get over it." And I did.

[NoSnacker]

thank you so much for letting me know i'm really not alone in all of this...i truly missed everyone here...so much more realistic about things. i know my journay will not be easy for sure. i enjoyed reading your reply..never too much can be said..i hijack other's daily check in's sometime

thanks again.

oh wow, and we came back at the same time..we should virtually hang out

let's do this!

p.s. i'm trying not to think in diet terms or i will fail for sure..

[NoSRocks]

Hi gk! WELCOME BACK! I agree - your mods sound great!!

I too would LOVE to lose 20 lbs. I think that 150 lbs would be the ideal weight for me at 5'7" and 49 yrs. When I was younger, I used to shoot for being MUCH lower - we're talking ridiculous levels that I won't even mention here.... and even then when the lbs used to come off much quicker, it was still a struggle, particularly when it came to maintenance. Mind, I've been stuck at 170 lbs for so long now, losing ANYthing would be a bonus -

Have a great day and once again, welcome home!!

[mimi]

Hey Gk! Welcome back! So good to "see" you again! We'll cheer each other on again!

Mimi

[r.jean]

Just an observation... A lot of people on this board who seem to be stuck at the same weight have less to lose. When you start out at 70 lbs overweight, you are more likely to lose than when you start out 20-25 lbs overweight. Now that I have gotten down to the last 25 lbs, I wonder how I will do. I have started out 2012 slowly, but I am pretty sure that I will post at least a small loss on my April 1 weigh-in. (I now step on the scale at least weekly even though I do not record any weight other than monthly).

When I started 15 months ago, I remember thinking that I would love to be some of you who are only 20-25 lbs. overweight. Now that I am there, I feel fabulous. I am no longer a slave to food. I am more fit, and I can do things physically that I could not do before. I hope I continue to lose, but maintenance is still the goal. Give yourself some credit. You may be overweight, but there are degrees of overweight.

[gk]

NoSnacker - Yes, let's definately "hang out" - makes the process much more fun. And yes, I think I'll shift my thinking away from diet terms as well. Starting by just putting down green, yellow or red days, versus success or FAIL. Thanks for stopping by.

NoSRocks - You know you have a point.....I used to shoot for much lower levels as well. Now as I look in the mirror, I'm wondering if 145 lbs. is even do-able anymore. I'll aim for it, but in the end, I think I'll be content with how I feel and what the mirror is telling me rather than a silly ole' number on a scale. Thanks for stopping by.

Mimi - Thank you! Good to "see" you again, too!

r.jean - Thanks for your observation. Good point and something to remember in times of frustration! Your patience with No S is very calming. I read your posts and remember that it just takes time and you will see results. Thanks.

[gk]

Thursday - Green

Good day -----I was feeling a little bad and stressed about something that happened tonight. My first/immediate reaction was to reach for a bag of candy and just keep on munching.

BUT

I stepped back from the situation.....took some deep breaths.....and focused on the "big picture" versus the one incident that happened.

It worked!!! I feel so good that I resisted falling into old habits. Ahh...there's hope!

[milliem]

Thursday - Green

I stepped back from the situation.....took some deep breaths.....and focused on the "big picture" versus the one incident that happened.

It worked!!! I feel so good that I resisted falling into old habits. Ahh...there's hope!

Nice one! It's always so self motivating when those successes come isn't it? Those emotional links to eating are some of the hardest to break, so well done!

[NoSnacker]

I mirror what Milliem said....that truly is a great success not to turn to a bag of candy..for most of us running to food as a way of life instead of feeling the emotions and/or finding other things to do can be a thing of the past..one step at a time, one success at a time builds confidence in ourselves again..

I went grocery shopping on lunch and picked up some chocolate..with the intent of having just on the weekend..with that in mind I said to myself am I really only going to eat one and not all of them? I know better to bring in the house, but I have to exercise my resistance muscle...these candy bars should last a month, one a weekend..my small challenge!

[CMThib82]

I like your mods.

I wanted to do Vanilla No S also, but I tend to binge and DID binge with total freedom on S Days. I now am allowing 2 S Events per week instead. I figure I can always go vanilla if it doesn't work out, right?

Congrats on the greens!! Good luck with the last 20 pounds!

[Sweetness]

You're doing great three successes already!

[gk]

Friday - Green

WOW - I honestly can say that that was the best Friday I've ever had on No S, and I'll tell you why....(this will be a little lengthy but I want to remember exactly how I felt).....

First, I woke up feeling so uplifted from conquering yesterday's urges to turn to bad habits. You're so right Milliem - it does give you a real boost when you see that you can actually do it.

Then, I went grocery shopping as I always do on Friday. I guess I should mention that usually, when I'm on No S, I shop with this thought in my mind...."Ok, it's almost the weekend....I have two days to get in every sweet urge I've had all week. Time to have FUN!" And I'll stock up on a bunch of sweets, way too much for one weekend. Then, it'll be a countdown for me.....how much longer till I can splurge. And then, the weekend will come and the inevitable binge will start and continue until Sunday night. I always wake up Monday morning feeling gross, disappointed in myself and look to the week ahead with dread, as I know it will be five whole days until I can eat that way again. (Even though at the moment I am disgusted with myself, I'm counting the days until I can do it again!! )

Anyway, this time I didn't have that feeling when I was shopping. It was no big deal that tomorrow was Saturday because I get a small treat every day. It hadn't built up over the week, and I was totally content. All the urges to binge are GONE. It's now Saturday, and it feels like any other day. What a difference!!

These mods seem to be EXACTLY what I needed. I've been content with no seconds. Usually by 4:00 I start to get the urge to cheat with a snack, so my 4:00 snack (usually a handful of almonds with a few triscuits and cheese) is enough to get me back on track. And then by the end of the day, after I've tucked the kids in, I'm usually feeling like I NEED a sweet, so I've been having a cup of low-fat ice cream every night. Once I have it, I'm totally content and have no urge to keep eating. (Another mild miracle)

At the beginning of this week, I also decided to take even more of the decision-making out of the equation and put a pre-determined plate in front of me at every meal. Breakfast is always my raisin bran (never get tired of it and it's filling to me). Lunch is 1/4 plate veggies, 1/4 plate fruit, and 1/2 plate wrap, sandwich, etc. Supper is 1/4 plate veggies (side salad in a bowl), 1/4 plate fruit and 1/2 plate whatever we're having for supper. That way I don't seem to overload, and I'm always getting in the veggies and fruit that I usually try to ignore, "because I can if I want to on No S".

With just 4 days of eating that way, I feel so much better. Even though I don't have the sweets taken away completely, I don't feel like I have sugar coursing through my veins all the time, but I also don't feel like I'm constantly struggling to get to the weekend, for that "release".

I know I can probably only get so far with weight loss with these mods. If I'm not losing after awhile, I might just decrease amounts before I change the mods. If I'm already gaining peace of mind, I consider this a good way to go for me.

Thanks everyone for stopping by. Appreciate your support!

[mimi]

Friday - Green
I know I can probably only get so far with weight loss with these mods. If I'm not losing after awhile, I might just decrease amounts before I change the mods. If I'm already gaining peace of mind, I consider this a good way to go for me.

Thanks everyone for stopping by. Appreciate your support!

Gk, I think you're very right about that. Peace of mind is key in continuing with any long term eating plan and it sounds like you're getting that down! Eventually when weight loss stalls, you do have to step back at look at portion sizes and what you're eating, particularly if you're not exercising regularly and for a considerable amount of time each week. I have had to do that recently...in fact, I tracked calories with my fitnesspal.com for a few weeks - first to see how many calories I needed to be eating in order to lose weight, and secondly, to see what those calories looked like on my plates! I really had no idea. I was surprised at how "heavy handed" I had become with portions! So, I scaled back amounts (no longer keeping track of calories or counting anything but plates) and have started losing again.
Kudos to you for recognizing what you can and can't live with! Keep up the great work!

Mimi

[gk]

Boy, the rollercoaster effect of dieting never ceases to amaze me! I felt so on top of things on Friday and Saturday morning, with no cravings whatsoever, and by Saturday night I was in a full-fledged binge! It started with a special treat for the kids, supper at a fast-food restaurant they never get to eat at much, and kind of escalated from there.

That would make my Saturday very Red, I guess! My body must not have understood the fact that this No S plan I'm following doesn't allow for more than one treat on the weekend.

Today is a new day. It's beautiful weather here, so I'm using that to remind me that I want to feel better this upcoming summer. Usually, only takes one slip-up for me to start sliding downward (not that I have far to slide - ha!). Hopefully, I'll have a better handle on it today....

[gk]

Sunday - Red

Did SO well until about 6:30. Drat. The nights are getting me again. Sometimes I wish I'd never tasted chocolate - then the constant struggle wouldn't even exist. Nothing else seems to get me like chocolate does. I know what you're probably thinking...."why keep it in the house if you can't resist it? Seems simple doesn't it? One of those things I can't seem to learn.

I guess I could view it as I'm not chucking the whole day like I was previously.....just dealing with part of the day now. Ya, ya, there it is...that silver lining.

Another week ahead. Here's to hoping the greens out-weigh the reds!!!

[Sweetness]

I thought I was hopelessly addicted to chocolate, I allowed myself 3 squares of extra dark (86% cocao) chocolate per day,even on NoS at first. I told myself "Its good for me, and most of the calories do not come from sugar," which is true, but when we came down to Mexico this fall and were facing having to pay a lot more for the chocolate, I decided to only have it on S days. Guess what? I don't crave it any more, or have to have it like before. I do enjoy it on weekends, but have less of it than I used to have every day! It took a few weeks to get over it. I do allow myself healthy hot cocoa that I make myself with plain cocoa and stevia to sweeten it, but now I only have that 2 or 3 times a week.

[KL]

Hi gk - wanted to say "hi" and to add on to your cheering section.

I just reread Chapter 6 - Building the No S Habit - maybe that may help you feel a little more grounded.

Remember the state of mind you were in just a few days ago? How great you felt in the grocery store? Remember how you didn't turn to the candy when upset about something? It is possible.

Stand up, dust yourself off, mark it and move on...you can do this

[NoSnacker]

Hi there...sounds like you had a great weekend..we can do this!!

[gk]

Thanks, KL! Will have to keep that in mind whenever I'm wavering.

Monday - Pink?

I don't feel it was a red day as I did VERY well all day. Had a little extra snack, but it was healthy and small. Supper wasn't the healthiest and didn't include my usual salad, but it was one plate. Not quite red....just a rosy shade of pink today.

Went on-line to see if I could find any ideas for foods to munch on that would give me energy. I am DRAGGING all the time. I used to think it was because of all the sugar I eat, but even on my green days, I know I should have more energy than I do. Stumbled upon The Beauty Detox Solution. Tempted to try that or parts of it in combination with No S, just to give me a structured list and instruction of how to eat foods that will give me energy. Some reviews said it was too hard to follow and not realistic when you have a family or don't want to put alot of time into it. Others/MOST everyone else said it was worth a little extra time to even do some of it because it totally changed their energy level and overall appearance. Gotta admit, I'm feeling a little hooked. Probably gonna get it and try it, but will look into it some more first....

[r.jean]

Diet head warning!

[gk]

Diet head warning!

LOL! Thanks for the warning. Like I said....the more I think about it, the more I just want some guidance for foods to eat that will give me energy...not a certain "diet" to follow for those effects. Cruising on-line now. Let's see what ideas I find.

Also starting my own little "physical therapy" course at home for my planter fasciitis in both feet. (A nurse friend of mine told me things I could do to relieve the discomfort/pain.) Plan to do that for a month. Hopefully, if things improve, I'll be ready to tackle the task of exercising again, since I'll already be in the habit of stopping every day to attend to that....will just switch my PT time to exercise.

[snapdragon]

Hi there, I am just coming back myself. Wanted to say hi...so "hi".
Sounds like you are off to a good start.
I understand about trying to pick healthy foods that will give you more energy! I don't have any official mods but after taking care of my mom, and her being in a rehab after breaking her ankle, I was looking around and noticed many of those people were there becuase they did not take care of themselves. I made a decision to do something different. Looked at clean eating but it is too restrictive. I saw an article about "super foods" and decided instead of taking away I would add super foods to my diet every day.
If you search the web you will find many lists of these, some vary slightly. It usually includes produce, and whole grains ect....not hard to figure out.
I hope this helps you.

[CMThib82]

Here is to a green day! Thanks for the pick me up in my journal! Good luck to you.

[Over43]

Thought I would stop in and say hello GK.

Hello.

[Sweetness]

GK, Thanks for stopping by my thread!
Here's how I make my healthy hot cocoa, since you said you want to try it.

Fill your mug 3/4 full of boiling water. Sprinkle in a heaping teaspoon of Hershey's cocoa powder (unsweetened baking cocoa) mix well before you: Fill cup with whole milk, and sweeten to taste with stevia.

Optional: add a dash or two of salt and cinnamon, and a half teaspoon of vanilla.

Enjoy!!

[gk]

Patty - Thanks for the recipe - will give it a try. I'm "weaning" myself from ice cream every night, and I this would be a good treat to replace it. YUM!

Over43 - Hello. Thanks for stopping by. Always enjoy having you around the No S boards.

[gk]

Tuesday - Green!

The WEIRDEST thing happened to me today.......

I was not hungry between meals. I wasn't even hungry for supper but ate anyway, so I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night and raid the fridge. Nothing out of the ordinary today - no stress, not really busy, just....content.

I keep reading that lots of fruits and veggies will fill you up. Who knows - maybe that's finally happening? All I know is that that's two content, craving-free days within the same week.

Lovin' it!

[mimi]

Keep up the great work gk! I saw on renee's thread that you were looking for a new hobby to keep your hands busy at night...I tried knitting and crocheting, but being left handed made it very difficult for anyone to teach me without me doing it right handed. I did manage to learn, but met someone who makes her own beautiful jewelry and decided to take that hobby up - and I love it! After all, you can only have so many afghans and scarfs, but a girl can never have too much jewelry, right?!

mimi

[NoSnacker]

I stand corrected after re-reading this thread I congratulated you for a weekend well done when you felt it wasn't..opps..my mind plays tricks on me.

But it does sound like you had a couple great couple of days with not cravings...

rjean is surely an inspiration after reading her comments...

deb

[gk]

Wednesday - Green

I'm DEFINATELY seeing a difference in my hunger level since I've started increasing veggies and fruit. You know how sometimes you're going along, trying to stick to a diet, and all of a sudden, you feel this sudden "shift"? Like suddenly, things are different and you just "feel" it? Well, that's happening to me now. Just by focusing on the protein/carb ratio versus trying to eat light with occasional veggies and fruit thrown in here and there, I've noticed SUCH a difference. I'm eating SO much more veggies/fruit - it DOES make a difference! And my energy level has dramatically increased, too!

This time around I'm eating my veggies and fruit plain....no dips, peanut butter, etc. Had to shove it down last week because I am NOT a fruit/veggie lover, but now that I'm used to it, the food seems to have increased flavor and now I enjoy it!!

BUT....I learned a lesson (rather had a reminder) tonight. All I had for supper was a piece of lasagna, a slice of bread with butter, and a garden salad. A good-sized supper, but nothing over the top - lots of plate showing. Well halfway through the meal, I was full. Somehow, even though I've eaten seemingly light meals all day, I was full. But did I listen to my body? NOPE! I went ahead and shoved it all in. Even though I got a green and didn't do anything wrong, I feel so gross. I REALLY don't like this feeling. This is usually what I feel like after I've binged. My new plates of food are satisfying me longer, so I must be eating less and now my usual full plates of heavier-type foods feel like way too much for me.

I went from feeling light-hearted and in such a great mood all day to suddenly grumpy, tired and gross-feeling. In my extended periods of bingeing, I pretty much got used to this feeling as status quo, but now I just can't stand it! I guess you could call that progress, eh?

Well, lesson learned!!! Next time I will stop when I feel full! My supper took the shine right off my Green today. UGH!

[NoSnacker]

Wednesday - Green

I went from feeling light-hearted and in such a great mood all day to suddenly grumpy, tired and gross-feeling. In my extended periods of bingeing, I pretty much got used to this feeling as status quo, but now I just can't stand it! I guess you could call that progress, eh?

Totally understand..it might have been the pasta that made you feel so badly afterwards..I noticed I feel much lighter an better if I really don't eat the stuff.

When I go to the restaurant say with friends for dinner, I say to myself, only eat half or at least stop when you feel full...like you, nope so good I kept going.

I normally eat everything on my plate, every morsel...seems a childhood habit...I even have trouble leaving anything on my plate...

It is funny how most of us go thru the same things...

Sorry you felt terrible after...but like you said lesson learned.

My friend who is naturally thin, but wanted to lose 5lbs, like she needed to right...she told me about a book, Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight...so I'm going to check it out..Like I don't have enough books....

Well have a great...day and be nice to you...we are a diamond in the ruff.

[gk]

Thanks for the note NoSnacker.

Thursday - Success

It was a very busy day, and my mealtimes were way outta wack (ate supper at 10:30 p.m.!), but I stuck to it with ease. It didn't hurt that I still felt gross from having that lasagna the night before. Made any temptations so easy to resist.

I tell ya, I wish I would have done the whole fruits/veggies/protein thing earlier! Woulda saved me alot of trouble! (I used to have 3/4 of my plate be meat, potatoes, etc. with only 1 piece of fruit or a few veggies. Now, I have basically 1 meat/potato-type food and the rest is fruit/veggies - big difference!) I feel so light, but at the same time feel so much fuller than I ever did when I was eating the other way.

I've been thinking......I think the reason I'm having so much luck with the fruit/veggies this time is because I'm eating them bare. I think when I was eating apples only with peanut butter and veggies only with veggie dip, I was hiding the flavor and still getting the fat from the PB/dip. My body wasn't getting the benefits of the healthy food because I was drowning it in the other stuff. One week of mindlessly just shoving it down to get it in was all I needed to get used to the taste and now actually enjoy the healthy food. (I can't tell you how major that is, this coming from someone who if only had the choice of fruits/veggies or nothing when extremely hungry would just choose to be extremely hungry).

Another new thing happened to me, and let me tell ya it has NEVER happened before.....

I got groceries (a day early mind you, because I was running out of fruit and veggies - ha!), and while I was going up and down the aisles, all the processed food and sweets didn't really tempt me at all. I usually get such a rush out of getting those foods and then devouring them once I get home.

Anyway, I then turned into the produce aisle, and guess what??? I got a rush in THAT aisle. Looking at all the brightly-colored veggies and fruit made my mouth water and it was like I was in a candy store!!!! Is that twisted or what?!?!?! Can't believe I reacted that way, but I sure hope it continues!! I feel so much better! And I feel good knowing that I'm not pumping my body full of a bunch of sugar and contributing to all the awful feelings I used to have, feeling so out of control.

Finally moving in the right direction!

I plan to weigh-in every Friday morning. I wonder what this week will bring. Maintaining would be lovely, but a pound or two lost would be kinda nice, too! BUT, I need to remind myself that it doesn't matter what a silly ole' scale says......the way I'm feeling, I'm already winning....by losing those bad habits!!

[CMThib82]

Thanks for the note NoSnacker.

Thursday - Success

Anyway, I then turned into the produce aisle, and guess what??? I got a rush in THAT aisle. Looking at all the brightly-colored veggies and fruit made my mouth water and it was like I was in a candy store!!!! Is that twisted or what?!?!?! Can't believe I reacted that way, but I sure hope it continues!! I feel so much better! And I feel good knowing that I'm not pumping my body full of a bunch of sugar and contributing to all the awful feelings I used to have, feeling so out of control.

Finally moving in the right direction!

I plan to weigh-in every Friday morning. I wonder what this week will bring. Maintaining would be lovely, but a pound or two lost would be kinda nice, too! BUT, I need to remind myself that it doesn't matter what a silly ole' scale says......the way I'm feeling, I'm already winning....by losing those bad habits!!

gk -- this is how I feel right now! and yay for you!

I overdosed on veggies a long time ago, but that was the days of eating 6 or 10 meals.

This week was the first week I ate veggies/proteins/fats/dairy/fruit only after eating a lot of junk on No S, just because I could.

Veggies are delicious again because I am actually hungry when I look at these veggies AND I know I can eat a great deal more and feel really satisfied.

I am not going to throw out my indulgences for the same reason the lasagna made you feel gross, reminds me why I love to eat really healthy foods instead.

Happy to see some greens

[gk]

CMThib82 - Thanks! It's amazing how much of a difference you can feel with certain changes in food intake. Let's keep this going, shall we?

[gk]

WELL.....I'm not gonna lie.....when I stepped on the scale this morning and it showed a one pound GAIN, I was instantly mad and discouraged. My first thought was, "after I DRAMATICALLY changed what I ate this week and cut down on the portions by SO much, I GAINED a pound?? How frustrating!!! 40 has definately not been kind to my waistline, so I guess I will have to cut back even more. (UGH!)

Let's see.......my plates are filled with so many veggies and fruit, I can't imagine I would have to cut back on my main dish size. And my snacks at 4:00 are always less than a small dessert dish size and healthy foods. Hmmmm......

I guess there are two areas I could work on.....I've probably been eating too many sunflower seeds and almonds. I should probably have only one serving of only one of those per day (was having nuts or seeds at two meals per day). Also, I still am eating my dessert after supper each night. I've stuck with a cup of low fat ice cream, but maybe I need to cut that back to a 1/2 cup each night. I would take it away completely, but that has been what has stopped my bingeing, so I don't want to be too drastic and backtrack.

We'll see how those changes help for next week's weigh-in.

NOW, I was gonna make tonight an S event (I'm meeting up with some friends who I only see once a month, when we get together for dinner.), but now I'm not so sure. I probably would just end up feeling gross afterwards, especially after this morning's weigh in, so maybe I'll just stick to the status quo with one plate and one small dessert........At the same time, I don't want to start resenting this because I can't enjoy when times like this come up (once a month I consider not very often), so maybe I should just throw caution to the wind and enjoy and then pick myself up again tomorrow.

I'll give it some thought and decide before I go, I guess. I'm already doing better though, because normally on these days I would consider it an S DAY and pig out the entire day. S events are much better I think. Contains it a bit more.

Will check in tomorrow. Have a great weekend everyone! Enjoy your S's!!!

[gk]

I'm sure this is no surprise to you all......yep, I dove off the cliff and landed in a pile of chocolate, peanut butter, lasagna....you name it. The mother of binges where I don't taste half of what I've eaten and couldn't care less. It started with one thought (the distorted logic that it is)....."my mood is totally crappy right now and I can't honestly feel worse (regarding my diet/figure) right now, so why not?" And so I did.

What broke my willpower was learning that we're having an extended family portrait taken mid-April, and I look like.........THIS. True, I only have 20 extra pounds on my frame...nothing major, but this is a look for me that I DO NOT want to preserve. I can hardly look in the mirror some days - why would I want to showcase this? YUCK....it makes me nauseous whenever I think about this photo being enlarged and put on every wall in my family's homes. Totally superficial, I know. Looking at the bigger picture, this is SO minor - I am well aware of that - but yet these irrational feelings are still here, prompting yet another binge.

Anyway, that makes today, Friday, officially RED, majorly RED, BUT, alas, here is the silver lining I've learned to look for......it is not lacking a lesson learned.......

I am having my husband hide the scale and will not weigh again until I can safely tell by the way my clothes fit that I will have a loss to report, to avoid another complete car wreck in my sunny disposition and wavering willpower! Even though I tell myself that it's only a number, years of habit telling me that that number represents much more than that is not easily forgotten. Can't omit the food, but I CAN get rid of that scale!

Ok, just had to get all that out. Now I will "mark it and move on" to much GREENER pastures!

[gk]

Okay, lessons learned from March:

1. Eating more fruits and veggies works for me, as far as feeling full all day.

2. Modified No S works better for me as well - 3 meals, 1 small snack, 1 dessert each day - No S Days except for major holidays and my birthday.

3. With the increased veggies/fruit and more water, my energy level has increased, which makes me feel better all around and usually keeps temptations easier to resist

4. And most importantly, I cannot weigh myself frequently as it easily makes me want to chuck reasons 1, 2 and 3.

Keeping that in mind, I'm starting April with renewed determination.

Will decrease my plate size slightly and cut my dessert each day in half (no more than 1/2 cup low-fat ice cream each day)

Plan to be a member of the "weigh on the first of every month club".

Gonna try counting days again - 21 day club. If I make it 21 days with all green, will give myself permission to splurge on an item at the mall - guilt-free. (and it won't be food. )

[NoSnacker]

Hi, so for that family portrait, why don't you go for a hair and make-up makeover and buy a nice top (black) and that will make the world of difference..20lbs shouldn't be that noticeable...keep thinking I'm worth being in this picture regardless of the 20lbs. You can make yourself feel better by pampering yourself for this photo and not dreading it...that will show in your face, I rather see you happy and confident with how beautiful you really are.

If you can't afford the make-over, have a friend work with ya! Wear some nice red lipstick and people will zoom towards your smile!



p.s. please don't give up, you will only get heavier ya know..I left No S at 168, 20lbs heavier like you and went up to 187, please don't allow that to happen to you...20lbs is far less than 40, 50..ya know.

[determined]

gk....I HATE the scale! I do the same thing...when I see the numbers on the scale & they aren't what, I want I end up living by my discouragement. It's as if that one minute on the scale unravels all the hard work I've done. My solution is never to weigh myself. I know when I'm losing based on my clothes, and my dr. knows the numbers so I just don't do it any more...ever. For me, I see the scale as my enemy...not my friend. Some people seem to have the ability to step on the scale, read the numbers & then go on with their plan for the day, but my obsession with numbers has been so ingrained that the scale is definitely not a useful tool for me.

It seems as if you've figured out that the scale is not helpful on a frequent basis....good for you! I really think it's another part of the puzzle for those of us who binge and/or eat emotionally. The really positive part of this is that we're learning what is helpful & what triggers useless eating - we ARE learning maintenance...and that's the hard part of this adventure. gk, you're doing great. I'm sure there are days you don't believe that, but you are learning & growing & you WILL conquer this...I really & truly believe that.

Hugs to you...janie

[Over43]

Where have you been?