Linguistics Girl's Daily check in

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 12:56 pm

This is my 6th day on No S and I have decided to start using the daily check in to keep myself accountable. So far I haven't had a fail as such, however I feel like I have been bending rules, adding a 4th meal to my day on Thursday due to a massive drop in blood sugar levels which left me feeling weak, shaky and panicky (interestingly this occurred straight after I had been chewing gum which I rarely do, I think it may have tricked my body into expecting food and it reacted badly when I didn't deliver on it), rearranging my S days to accommodate the hangover I had on Friday, meaning that today is an N day...and then there is the hangover.

I don't usually drink more than once or twice a week, however when I do my capacity and appetite for it is large - this is obviously a binge behaviour and it also leads to a hangover with the constant desire to stuff myself with crap food. I don't have an alcohol problem so much as an alcohol culture problem, but it needs to stop. I know that the advice here is one system at a time, however I think I have learnt this week that no s is going to be difficult for me without simultaneously introducing glass ceiling.

So. New plan. Today is an N day and I feel confident it will be a success. Tomorrow an S day, and after how ill I felt at the end of yesterday's rather disgusting hungover eating frenzy I am gong to plan some treats and aim not to binge. BUT, Monday will be my new day 1 and I am planning to treat this week as one big learning curve.

I am hoping that this thread will help to make me think before I act, however we shall wait and see.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 1:44 pm

Welcome!!!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Sat Jul 02, 2011 2:33 pm

Thanks!!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:00 pm

Linguisticsgirl wrote: Today is an N day and I feel confident it will be a success. Tomorrow an S day, and after how ill I felt at the end of yesterday's rather disgusting hungover eating frenzy I am gong to plan some treats and aim not to binge..

Hmmm. Yes well this has been an interesting lesson on how restarting something needs to take effect immediately and not begin in 2 days time. This weekend has been an all out 'last chance' binge, which is ridiculous on several levels. However, while I could make excuses I am going to try to chalk this up to experience and I shall be starting afresh tomorrow morning with a clean slate.

God I annoy myself sometimes!

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:33 am

Welcome and best of luck. I would recommend no restarts. If you allow yourself to start over each time you screw up, you will always have an out. Start a habit cal calendar and mark it red when you screw up and then move on. My early months had a lot of reds.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:27 am

Welcome to NoS

How did your first N day go?

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Tue Jul 05, 2011 8:21 am

Thanks for both the welcomes and the tips!

r.jean wrote:Welcome and best of luck. I would recommend no restarts. If you allow yourself to start over each time you screw up, you will always have an out.

Yes. This is what I discovered over the weekend. I need to curb my natural tendency towards what I call lazy perfectionism i.e. do it perfect or don't bother doing at all, and learn to move on from mistakes and accept that I make them.

Monday went well. 3 good meals and that was it. I also got in some walking (which is normal for me), and some swimming - which is not. The best thing about all of this was waking up this morning without that sinking 'oh god, I ate so much yesterday' sinking feeling which has been a little too familiar lately.

I think that I am probably overloading my plate at the moment, but I am not going to even think about starting to tackle that til I have completed 21 days. I am also excited at the prospect of PLANNING some treats for the weekend. I have lots on which should actually help on this front. One of my major downfalls with the weekend just gone was sitting inside for two sunny days straight writing an assignment which had to be in by Sunday afternoon. I got sulky which led to a sense of entitlement- I had hoped that by the ripe old age of 30 I would have grown out of strops, however I fear this may never happen, if anything I'm getting worse!

Thanks again guys!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:06 am

Tuesday was a success!

Which is excellent.

It was also, personally a fantastic day, I found Â£5 on the street in the morning and then got offered a fantastic job (which I hadn't applied for) in the afternoon.

I tend to use food both to commiserate and to celebrate, and in the past that fiver would have gone on something sweet. But yesterday I just walked around with a smile on my face all day instead and it felt fantastic!

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:49 am

Glad to see you are doing well! I also love to eat to celebrate (and to socialize). That has been harder to moderate for me than the stress eating. So...good job!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:21 am

Thanks!

Still on a roll, yesterday was another success, both from an n day perspective and a glass ceiling one. Went to my brother's and he had cooked the most delicious dish made with French cheese, potatoes and enough butter to sink a battleship! I ate my one plate, guilt free, enjoyed every mouthful plus two delicious glasses of red wine, and then went bowling and politely refused the peanut m&ms without making it into a big deal.

Feeling very proud of myself. Hope I can keep up this positive momentum, with some indulgences, accross the weekend, as that is when I am afraid of falling down. We shall see, I am trying to have a little faith in myself.

Anyway. Yaaaaaay!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:31 pm

My goodness....that dish sounds amazing! You can NEVER go wrong with potatoes and cheese! Yummmmmm.....

Great job sticking to it!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:14 am

Yep, it was gorgeous!

One of the things I am really enjoying about no s so far is the ability to eat what I want guilt free. I know that long term for weight loss there may need to be some adjustment of this, however for now it is very liberating. My ordinary behaviour on Wednesday would have been to have seconds, and then the m&ms, then feel awful the next day, which could either have led to a 'what's the point' binge or to eating very little in a desperate attempt to make ammends - which itself often leads to binging behaviour later in the day. Yesterday there was none of this, instead I had 3 meals, and for dinner had exactly what I was craving, pasta with smoked salmon, cream cheese and capers. Oh, and some white wine - more than a glass ceiling amount if I'm honest, but I think I am going to have to aim for moderate moderation rather than extreme moderation on the booze front for the time being, and this at least I acheived.

I don't usually live on such rich foods to be honest, my default meal is rice with veg, chilli, ginger, soya sauce and some sort protein, usually fish, so this indulgent eating isn't going to become a constant feature, having said that I am going out with the girls tonight for a karaoke night (first time, already getting cold sweats, thank god it's a private room!), we are going to go for a pizza beforehand, and provided that I only eat what I put on one plate I am going to feel absolutely fine about it.

It's very freeing this no s malarky isn't it?!

Oh, should probably have said this to begin with, but Thursday was a success.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:09 pm

Awesome! I pretty much eat what my body craves. And it does crave veggies and fruit and cheese and all different kinds of foods! I think all food is great! It's just the darn portions..... Of course you probably wouldn't want to eat that potato and cheese dish for EVERY meal.....well, maybe you would! ha. Enjoy that pizza tonight. It's amazing how little fits on a plate, though......unless you bend it...ha! I'm not helping, am I?

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:35 am

Ah, well now that depends on the size of your plate! I ate a whole pizza, however it was a thin and crispy one, so thin it was almost crepe like in places so I really feel fine about it. I also didn't have dessert and opted for a coffee instead, and Friday was a success!! Yay!!

Danced the night away in a very cool bar playing old 60's swing hits and had much fun! (good exercise too!)

I am particularly proud that I came home and made cheese on toast for our friend who was staying and decided that although it was well past midnight and could technically count as a Saturday I hadn't slept so it was still Friday and I would wait for breakfast.

Still feeling free, shall have to see what happens over the weekend...

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:04 am

Day 6 and my first S day!... Went well I think. I did have a few S's but I wasn't planning to even think about modifications til my 21 days are up. I had some frozen yogurt with fruit and dark chocolate chips as a snack, I also had McDonalds for lunch (which I never do!) and had a milkshake, and I had a bag of crisps in the evening (a small, one person size bag) and a slice of toast before I went to bed, but to be fair it had been about 6 hours since I'd eaten dinner at that stage. Those were the things that I ate which I would not have done on an N day. Having said that, the mcdonalds was a meal, not a snack, I had 3 meals during the day as usual.

One interesting thing that happened yesterday morning was that I had cooked fish fingers and poached eggs as a post night out breakfast for me, my housemate and our friend who was staying. We had a big loaf of tiger bread with it, and it wasn't until the other two started struggling to finish their 4th slices that I even noticed that I had eaten the 2 I started with, finished my plate of food and then stopped. Which isn't like me at all, I love tiger bread!!! It really wasn't a conscious decision and it surprised me.

Overall, for an S day where I didn't set out to restrict myself at all I am very proud. It wasn't a day of eating healthy, but I didn't binge and I didn't eat like the food was about to run out. I am very happy with how it went, now to S day number 2...

Joyofsix · Post by **Joyofsix** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:22 am

My first S day was Saturday also. I think you did well. You enjoyed your food but didn't eat say, and entire family sized bag of chips/crisps.

Yeah!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:50 am

Yum, tiger bread is the best! It's funny how quickly some of the habits start to form - just realising that 'oh actually I get full after 2 slices of bread, I don't need any more' is a big thing!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:12 am

Yes, that was very cool, eating til full and then stopping, who knew?

So my second S day wasn't bad either, I had breakfast and lunch, but I had them late, and then my evening was spent grazing, but importantly, not binging.

My S's were frozen yogurt (again! But I am taking this, eat what you want on S days til the N days are perfect thing pretty literally right now, I figure I am only a third of the way through my 21 days), an iced coffee, 2 small bags of crisps and an iced lolly. I also had 2 small slices of pizza which I guess I could call my third meal, although they weren't very filling. The yogurt and the coffee were between breakfast and lunch and the rest was accross an 8 hour period, so not a binge.

I have learnt a few things from yesterday. 1. I eat less if I have meals, I know it is a basic tennent of the no s diet, but it is interesting to observe this in action. 2. Hot weather (well hot-ish) is a trigger for me to eat iced food which is fair enough, but they are usually high in sugar so perhaps something for me to tackle when the 21 days are up. 3. I spend too much time in the pub, at the moment my housemate is working in a bar 2 streets over from our flat and it is way too easy to pop in for 1 or 2 pints in the evening, which is fine once in a while, but I am doing it too often. I think I may introduce a once a week rule on this.

Today I have a meeting with the guy who offered me a job last Tuesday. I am very excited! Wish me luck!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:52 am

Monday was a success, it seems to be getting easier already, not that I am getting complacent, but I am already thinking less about it.

I did have plenty of other things on my mind yesterday, my meeting went as well as such things can, given that I was told outright that the job was mine if I wanted it. I don't know if the n day was easier because I was distracted, but it did ensure that I didn't use my excitement or stress levels as an excuse for comfort eating. Which is a good thing.

I am finding it interesting to watch the previously closely intertwined strands in my life of food and emotion slowly unravel. It's good I think!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:20 pm

Ooh exciting news about the job!! And well done on your successful N day

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:26 am

Tuesday was a success, breakfast, lunch and dinner all enjoyed and then done with.

I have 2 habit cals at the moment, one for no s which I am pleased to say is all green since the start of last week (with the exception of exempt days of course), and one for the work I am supposed to be doing to rehabilitate my knees so I can get back to running. I have been struggling with getting into this for a while, stretching and physio is very boring. Last week's almost totally red habit cal really made me stop and think about how important it is to get back to running, I decided to introduce one element of the work I need to do at a time, to get each habit entrenched, this has made it seem a little less intimidating, and I am pleased to say there have been no red days so far this week (although it's early days). Habit cal is also helping me to remember which has been a bit of an issue too.

I also went to see my new work premises yesterday morning, and handed in my notice at my current job. The new place is a garage which my friend wants me to run for him, I have previously managed other businesses but they have all been in hospitality, I know nothing of cars or mechanics, in fact, I don't even drive so this is going to be a hell of a learning curve - I have also never had to start from scratch in a business, putting systems in place etc. I am excited but also nervous. It will also be interesting to see what a new working environment, just me and boys, does to my eating habits! When I talked to my present employers about notice periods yesterday they very kindly allowed me to give less than a month, I say kindly, it is partly due to making their payroll easier, this means that I will be starting on the first of August. Aaaaaaargh!

I have just realised that this is becoming more and more like a general blog and less like a daily check in, sorry people, feel free not to read if it's boring!

To bring it back on track, if anyone has managed to read this far I have a no s related question... When people talk about 21 days of complience I have always assumed that this was 15 n days and 6 s days but it has occurred to me that it might mean 21 n days (or 29 days in total), I am guessing that I was right the first time as everyday systems tend to be quite elegantly simple and the second option is not, however I would hate to find that I had accidentally 'cheated' so I thought I would check!

Thanks to anyone who makes it this far through my post and has time to answer!

Sarah

Pangelsue2 · Post by **Pangelsue2** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:48 pm

Welcome and well done! You are doing great and reading your introspective posts is very interesting. I tend to skip over the meal stuff and look for the meat of the matter, ie what is changing in the person's habits. That helps me the most. You are an inspiration.
By the way, you are correct, 21 days is 21 consecutive days N and S included.
Keep up the good work.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:07 pm

I like reading about people's lives.....other than eating. There's so much more to people than what they eat. Of course we're here for No-S...and it's awesome! But this journey includes a lot more than food!

Sounds like you are starting a very intense new job! Wowzers! Good luck to you with this new adventure.

And great job with No-S too!!!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 2:25 pm

Thank you, that is very lovely of you to say.

I thought as much on the 21 days thing, but as with all of this it kind of seems to simple to be true, so I thought I'd check!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 8:13 am

Wednesday was a success!

I am enjoying watching the green days mount up on my habit cal and it's so easy! Don't get me wrong, there have been moments where I have wrestled with my snack impulses and sugar cravings, and at the moment I am aware that I am drinking a little bit more than usual (the curse of a new flat in the middle of town and a flatmate who works in a conveniently located pub is becoming clear!), eventually I shall probably have to tackle portion sizes too, but for now I am content to let the habit sink in and to enjoy this new, free relationship with food.

This evening we have a work do, a bbq in our other branch, I am not too concerned as I feel I can manage to fill a plate with food, eat it and be done.

Joyofsix · Post by **Joyofsix** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:59 am

Yeah! Isn't it nice to be able to go somewhere and eat something like a normal person and then STOP like a normal person.

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 8:09 am

Thursday was a ...?

I am undecided. It was a success for the most part. 3 meals, no snacks, however, at the BBQ do for work one of my bosses had made merangues, tiny little things, like a canape size with a dollop of cream and fruit on. She came over to the group I was with with the exact number for us on a plate and she stood there. So I decided to eat mine.

I think technically this has to count as a fail and I have marked it as such on my habit cal. However, it feels like a small victory in a way: I made a deliberate choice to eat something outside of the no s rules as a reaction to a situation in which it would have been very rude not to. The food in question was a very small amount and truly delicious and I enjoyed every bite (all 1 1/2 of them!). I didn't allow it to derail the rest of my day and that was the last thing that I ate.

I am marking the habit cal red as I don't want this to be the template for other, less valid, excuses to break the rules however I am still counting yesterday towards my 21 days of compliance as I think if anything it showed me how much the rules are already starting to become ingrained.

I would be interested to know if anyone thinks this is a cop out!

Sarah

Joyofsix · Post by **Joyofsix** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:46 am

Congratulations and good luck on the new position. I think you did the right thing at the work BBQ. I like reading how others make it through the social land mines with no s. Keep filling us in and good job.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:10 pm

It sounds like you made a thought-out choice about the situation which is a good thing in my book!

I have a 'thing' where if it's an N day but there is an unusual and/or unexpected treat in a social situation (like a gorgeous home-made cake, or someone got in my favourite dessert) I am allowed to make the choice to eat it as an 'S event' (not an S day). I have been in that situation and made the choice not to eat it, but I think allowing myself that freedom keeps it contained. I've actually only had to apply this rule 3 times in the last couple of months since I decided on it - twice I took the S event, once I didn't.

It's probably important to be careful of the slippery slope where you can start deciding that driving past somewhere that has something you quite liked once counts as an S event!!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:40 pm

Thanks for the encouragement Lisa, I agree, it's really interesting to see how others deal with different situations, I am finding this forum a real source of inspiration and encouragement!

Milliem, I think I have read about your s events elsewhere on the forum and I really like the idea, in fact it was in the back of my mind when I chose to eat the merangue. I have already made the decision to do vanilla no s by the book until my 21 days are up so it was technically a faliure and marked as such on the habit cal, however as I have already said it felt like an actual victory so I think I shall count it as a mental success. I think after my first 21 days I will re-evaluate and consider what modifications or habit adjustments I need.

Thanks again to both of you

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:00 am

Friday was a success, the weekend was frankly a little on the disgusting side. In part fueled by being hungover (although honestly, not that hung over) and partly by the fact that my housemate and I egg each other on in ever increasing circles of crap food. However, we did talk about this yesterday and have agreed to try and do the opposite, to encourage one another to behave ourselves. Unfortunately we tend to behave like 2 naughty children rather than the late 20/early 30 somethings we actually are.

All of that being said I am talking about 2 s days so technically no there was no failing involved. But I am not feeling good about my eating last weekend and I have been avoiding the forum here which says a lot I think. What I really don't want to do is to log what I ate at the weekend, which makes me think that is exactly what I should do...Deep breath...

I did have a fourth meal on Friday, kind of, sort of...I went home after my 9-5, ate dinner then went straight to the pub and worked a 5 hour shift, then we went out dancing for 2 hours, so my 'fourth meal' was actually 2 slices of cheese on toast eaten at 4am on Saturday morning. Whichever way you look at it it seems like fairly sensible eating (if not particularly sensible living!).

Saturday started with a coffee and croissant with my brothers girlfriend in the cafe across from my flat.

I then went home and cooked a very yummy cooked breakfast of grilled sausages and mushrooms, poached eggs and bread.

My housemate and I indulged our hangovers with early afternoon icecream (half a pint tub each).

Then we went to our friends house for dinner and ate a mountain of spag bol with garlic bread followed by a large slice of the richest chocolate cake I have ever eaten with some cream. Honestly this thing was insane, the 3 of us were in hysterical laughter all evening and I swear it was a massive sugar rush!

Sunday morning we went out for another cooked breakfast: sausage, black pudding, mushroom, bacon, eggs, toast and spinach.

We repeated our early afternoon icecream eating.

Followed by a medium bag of doritos

Then we had 2 medium pizzas and garlic bread between the 2 of us.

Then finished the day of excess with half a packet of biscuits each.

Oh dear!

That is not to mention the beer we drank on Friday evening or the wine on Sat and Sun night.

None of that on it's own would have been bad, but all of it together makes me feel like the weekend was one massive long binge. However I feel better for putting it out there.

I also feel like I am learning. Very slowly!

This week I will not be drinking beer. Or drinking at all on school nights. I am a student as well as working and I have an assignment due at the end of the month. I am working in the pub again this Friday. This time I will not be drinking behind the bar and allowing my Friday night to send my entire weekend into a spiral of crazy, partly because I cannot allow silliness to derail my education and partly because I don't want to!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 8:07 am

Monday was a success!

Which is good.

I keep waiting for problems with N days but so far it just seems to click. S days will need some more structure eventually I think, but for now I am going to keep plugging away and trying to make them enjoyable rather than insane. I had a good first weekend followed by a bingy second one. That's a 50% success rate right? So I guess I have something there to build on.

I know I haven't got through my 21 days yet but it feels like it's already ingrained enough that I have the breathing space to concentrate on other things during the week. This week I am concentrating on getting some form of exercise, mostly walking but perhaps some swimming, 6 days and NOT drinking any beer. I think that's enough to be getting on with for now.

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:09 pm

You have 100% success rate of S days! It's tempting to try and manage your S days but remember to take it slow, they are a release valve for your sensible eating during the week, and it might be a setback to try and limit them at this stage.... you're doing so well overall though, well done!

And your cheese on toast was definitely on an S day, so it's all good

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:45 am

Thanks Milliem, that is probably a needed reminder of the right attitude! Yes I do have 100% success! I should probably have worded it to read that I have 50% success of S days which I feel good about which is my ultimate aim, but I think you are right about not limiting at this stage (and about the cheese on toast!).

Tuesday was a success, although I spent the evening in a really bad mood until finally going out for a walk which cleared both my head and the black cloud hanging over it.

I am so glad that this new job has come along when it did because I think frustration at my boredom levels at work is what is caused my mood. Having been running reception for the last 2 weeks while my colleague was away I am realising just how little she allows me to do when she is here and as someone who likes to get things done I find her roundabout style of (dis)organisation very frustrating, I love her to bits but she's not one of life's natural managers and I think it's probably best for both of us that I am moving on to a job where I get to run things my way

In any case I had a lovely walk, and in the scheme of things if this is the worse thing I have to complain about then life must be pretty damn good!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:34 am

Wednesday was a success, but only just!!

I had a very interesting test of my willpower yesterday and I almost failed. While I was running around the office dropping post to people yesterday morning one of my colleagues decided that it was the right sort of a day for everyone to have millionaires shortbread. I got back to my desk to find a great big slice of the stuff, with thick layers of caramel and chocolate. It looked absolutely delicious but a. it was an n day, b. it was 10am! and c. I have had this particular brand before and it actually looks much better than it tastes. So I put it in my desk drawer until I could work out what to do with the thing. Mid afternoon, I was peckish and suddenly remembered it was there. I thought about taking an s event (but I don't do that, I do vanilla at the moment), then I thought about just failing (only I didn't want to have to admit to it here), then I thought about just taking a bite and counting it as a fail but calling it as a semi-fail/example of excellent willpower (only that would have been massively dishonest), then I realised that the whole thing was ridiculous, it was just a slice of cake and not a particularly good one at that and I should chuck it in the bin while there was nobody around (only it looked so good, and it was sitting there just begging to be eaten). I repeated this process about 4 times over the course of 30 minutes before, fed up with myself, I decided that faliure was an inevitibility and so I sat down, broke off a piece and was lifting it to my mouth when the phone rang. The 45 seconds or so that I was on the phone for were enough for me to take a step back from the situation and see what I was actually doing. As soon as I got off the phone I stuffed the whole thing into an empty coffee cup in my bin rendering it inedible (I know, a waste, but ultimately I feel, for the best!). I immediately stopped feeling helpless and depressed and felt elated and powerful. Talk about saved by the bell.

It was temptation pure and simple, I wasn't particularly hungry and the results of eating it would not have been too terrible from a physical perspective. However, it was a mental victory of epic proportions, I cannot emphasise enough how much such a little thing affected my self esteem yesterday. Feeling powerless around food is something which I have suffered from for years and has stripped much of the enjoyment out of food. I am now regaining some of my power, crucially without having to institute the rigid control which has been my other option in the past.

The strange thing was that until this hapenned yesterday I hadn't really realised how big an issue this was for me.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:22 pm

Good for you! Somebody had a really good saying about waste that I wish I could remember. It was something to the effect that it is also going to end up waste if you eat it.

Joyofsix · Post by **Joyofsix** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:11 am

Yeah! Sanity prevails (and those are just the kinds of conversations I have with myself).

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:39 pm

Joyofsix wrote:Sanity prevails

Hah! It prevails so rarely in my life that it's almost a shock when it does. I'm still dead proud of myself for winning that argument (against myself...)

r.jean: if you remember that saying then let me know! It's true though, I don't like waste, but eventually it's all going to get flushed and it's not like there was any great nutritional value to be gained from what I was wasting, just a sugar high followed by a depressing defeated low.

Thursday was a success from a no s point of view. It was also a success from the perspective of the goals I've set myself for this week.

It was not a success from a smoking perspective. I haven't talked about smoking on here before. That's because I'm a non smoker. I have been for over 2 years now after struggling with the habit for much of my teens and 20's. I was a success story, I was a runner, I knew I wouldn't ever go back to it. On occasional nights out when a little worse for wear I would take a cheeky drag of a cigarette and immediately remember that it tastes disgusting. I was not going back there. Then, about 3 months ago, my lungs started getting nostalgic...and I swear it was my lungs. If any smokers out there know that feeling when you haven't had a cigarette for a couple of hours, you're not gagging for one, but it's definitely time to smoke...? I started feeling like that all the time, my housemate thinks I'm stressed, and she may have a point. I suspect I'm a bloody idiot, or I have also considered the possibility that I am sleep smoking... Recently I have been giving in to it, a drag here, a half a one there. Yesterday, while at the pub I smoked 2 and had half of another one. I know myself and it's a slippery slope. Most of me doesn't want to smoke, most of me knows how stupid and dangerous and expensive it is, most of me...

I'm not impressed by my behaviour, the only real hope I have at the moment is that my lungs feel like they've been assalted today (which they have) so perhaps this may be offputting enough to stop me. I HATE being an addict. I have to keep that in mind.

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:56 am

Friday was a success and the weekend was pretty sane, although I did go out on Saturday and ended up not completing the work I wanted to get through on Sunday.

I am doing less well with the smoking thing though, I'm up to about 2 a day, so this isn't a slippery slope at all, I can totally control this...ahem!

I also need to get a better rythm going for the stretches I am meant to be doing for my knees, I only have about a 50% success rate for that and it needs to be 100% which given that it's 4 minutes a day should be acheivable.

In other news my 21 days are up!!!!
They've flown by, and I have enjoyed them, however I do not feel I have lost any weight, and with this in mind I am setting myself some goals for the next 3 weeks:

1. To be consistant with stretching.
2. To end this time period as a non-smoker.
3. To start reducing portions on N days, this is something I have already started doing, to begin with I was eating massive meals as I was worried about not making it to the next one. Now I am starting to appreciate the feeling of between meal hunger for what it is, namely my appetite. Being hungry when I start eating is making me enjoy my food all the more.
4. Start shovelgloving, I really love the idea of it and want to give it a go, however this will have to wait until I get paid at the end of the week.
5. To walk more, which will be easily facilitated by the fact that my new job is a mile from my home. A couple of miles a day can make all the difference.

I'm excited to be entering this next phase, and I don't feel like I'm really making any major modifications to vanillla no s, more a natural progression in refining what works for me!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:08 am

Monday was a success. It's getting easier and easier now. The idea that (short of random and unexpected occurances) an n day might be a faliure is looking like less of a possibility each day. Although Mondays are the day that feel most like a struggle not to snack (struggle might be a bit of an extreme word actually, niggle probably describes the feeling better). After dinner last night I was craving 'something', however I shared a big pot of peppermint tea with my flatmate and that did the trick fine.

Still smoking

and I can confirm that it's not cool. It's interesting in a sort of sick and twisted way to observe how quickly the cravings take hold and how fast my lungs start to feel clogged and ill. You can see why I'm still doing this can't you? It is just a phase, I know it's just a phase and that I have more than enough willpower to stop this. However I have to get to the point where I really want to first and I'm not quite there yet.

GRRRRRRRR

Joyofsix · Post by **Joyofsix** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:44 am

Ok girl. PUT THAT SMOKE DOWN!

Congrats on those 21 days. It occurs to me mine are up too. Yippee!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:49 am

Joyofsix wrote:Ok girl. PUT THAT SMOKE DOWN! Congrats on those 21 days. It occurs to me mine are up too. Yippee!

Yes mum, sorry mum

Congratulations to you too! 21 days down, and here's to the rest of our lives!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:40 pm

Oh, I can imagine changing your eating and stopping smoking at the same time has got to be hard! But I'm sure you know your body will LOVE you!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:59 am

So I'm done with smoking. Done. Done I tells ya!

I sat down and had a chat with myself last night (now I never claimed to be sane!), I pointed out that after less than a week the number of cigarettes a day were steadily climbing, I explained that I can't afford cigarettes, I added that the fact that my lungs hurt should be indication enough that what I am doing is poisoning my body, I remenisced about this time last year when those same lungs carried me through a half marathon in 2 hours and 15 minutes and made the point that if they were able to do that and to forgive me for years of abuse and nicotine poisoning it hardly seems any kind of reward to then start up the rounds of abuse once again. I reminded myself of how exhillarated and alive I feel when I run and that the time when I will be able to do that once again is finally just around the corner. I asked myself to consider my hatred of being an addict and how already my moods were being affected by cravings. I sat and thought about what I had said for a while, and I realised I was right. I'm done. I made myself a no smoking habit cal and I remembered to do my knee rehabillitation stretches.

Obviously a five year old child could tell me that I am doing the right thing in not smoking, however one of the biggest indicators of this for me is how powerful and in control it makes me feel NOT to smoke, I have been sitting under a black cloud for the last few days, feeling unwilling to post here and bad about life in general. Now I have written a short essay

and I am feeling in control (crucially without having to engage in controlling behaviour) and like a weight has been lifted.

No s has a similar effect, I am about a dress size larger than where I feel comfortable at the moment (currently a UK 14, which I believe is a US 10? - correct me if I'm wrong) and 2 dress sizes larger than where I want to be: at 5'7'' with a medium frame I think 10 is a healthy size. This time last year I was a 12 and I have put most of this weight on since Christmas, so most of my clothes are getting tight. This leads me to regularly panic, and get a sudden attack of diet head. It's a desperate and out of control feeling and I get the urge to apply rigid controls to my eating immediately, which until very recently I would have done. No s means that I take a step back and go 'oh yeah, I am doing something, the right way, everything's OK'. It feels calm, and sane, and right.

Tuesday was a success by the way! Although I had a massive pile of food for dinner and while it was mostly veg based I didn't stop eating when I was full. This was more a greed thing than an emotional eating thing, the answer to which is: Cook Less Food. Lesson learned I think.

Phew! I had a lot to say didn't I? This is such a learning journey for me. It's good I think.

Sarah

Who Me? · Post by **Who Me?** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:09 pm

If your knees are giving you trouble, have you tried swimming or cycling?

And put down the cigarettes!

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:21 pm

Yes I have, and they both bore me rigid (or at least stationary biking does, outdoors biking leaves me stressed, scared and angry!). I have also tried a physio a sports therapist and a podietrist, and I am getting there! Apparently an active dislike of most other sports is the hallmark of a runner!! It's walking, running or nothing I'm afraid.

As to the smoking, so far so good. As I said, I'm done now.

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:30 am

Wednesday was a success x3

No s success (hey that rhymes!)
Kneehab (as I have oh so wittily chosen to name it) success
and perhaps most importantly...
I did not smoke; this was by far the most satisfying little green square I filled in today. I am feeling OK, certainly better than I would have had I let it slide for much longer, although I was in a low level aggressive mood all day yesterday, to be honest it was mild enough that it was almost enjoyable, wallowing in being an angry cow without actually taking it out on anyone else.

I have been spending some time reading other peoples daily check-ins (well it's my last week at work, what else would I be doing?), it's interesting to see how much they vary, from a few statistical updates, or a simple Fail/Success to the longer more introspective blog type posts (guess where I fit on the spectrum?!). One thing I do enjoy in other people's posts is seeing what they eat on a day to day basis, it's interesting, like when you check out what other people have in their shopping baskets at the supermarket, only more detailed. I'm going to give it a go as I also think it's a good way to stay accountable to myself: I've noticed that I think twice about my behaviour when I know I have to report it here, even if I'm the only one who may read it. So here goes:

Wednesday:

Breakfast = Fruit and nut no sugar muesli (medium bowl) with a sliced
banana and low fat greek yogurt, cup of black coffee

Lunch = Wholemeal pitta bread with peanut butter, cucumber and
salad leaves and a sliced vine tomato with a small spoon of
cottage cheese on each slice

Dinner = One of my jumbled together dishes consisting of diced
chorizo, onion, carrot and pepper, peas and rice cooked with
paprika, chilli powder and a dash of soy sauce

I also drank a cup of black coffee when I got to work, another after lunch and about half a pot of peppermint tea in the evening.

Hmmm...already making me think, the muesli was too much, I keep cutting down the portion and it's still a lot I think because of all the fruit and nuts, I might experiment tomorrow with pouring a portion I think is way too small and then, if I am still hungry afterwards allowing myself some more...

I drink too much coffee, am going to start swapping out some of it for earl grey or fruit teas.

Done now.
Happy Thursday everyone!!!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:13 pm

Mmm that chorizo dish sounds lovely!

Well done on not smoking as well, you're doing brilliantly!! And it's nice to have an excuse to be a moody cow sometimes

I can usually find SOME excuse....

Linguisticsgirl · Post by **Linguisticsgirl** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:15 am

Years spent working with the public, having to be a little ray of sunshine at all times has led to me embracing every possible opportunity to be a grumpy cow!

The chorizo dish is a variation on my default dinner which is rice with some veg, some protein and lots of flavour all mixed together. The flavour usually depends upon the protein, so with the chorizo it's garlic, paprika and chilli powder, whereas with prawns it would be fresh ginger and chillis, garlic, soy and maybe some lime juice, I also regularly mix in cheese, eggs, beans or tuna. We have a rice cooker which we christened Betty, and Betty is our best friend, I'd be lost without her!

Thursday was....3 successes! kneehab, no s and no smoking.

Breakfast was muesli, banana and yogurt again with a coffee.

Lunch as on Wednesday, a wholemeal pitta with peanut butter and salad and a tomato with cottage cheese.

Dinner was more muesli and yogurt: I almost always cook, however yesterday I was shattered when I got home. No idea why, I did next to nothing at work! I ended up going to bed by 8.30 (rock 'n' roll I know!)

I had a coffee when I got to work but swapped my after lunch one for an earl grey tea.

I also came across a brilliantly simple idea on the forums for a simple way to quantify walking. Thanks to koopa on the urban ranger general discussion board I shall be aiming to walk a minimum of 15 miles per week, preferably Monday to Friday with the weekend as back up/bonus. I will be adding in a habit cal from next week which I think I will use slightly differently. Green for 3< miles walked, Yellow for 3> miles walked and red for 'couldn't be bothered to get off the sofa today'. I think I stand a fighting chance as the walk to and from work Mon-Fri will bring me up to a 2 mile daily total.

Happy Friday everyone!!!

Everyday Systems

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