Everyday Systems

211.6.

209.6. yes that is good,

B = none

L = one soft taco, with hot sauce, one grilled cheese sandwich

D = chex mix almost the whole bag (individual/small bag not large), grapefruit juice, chicken, rice, bean, with cilantro dressing taco salad, took a few bites of the shell, drinks

no walk

Going to attempt a cleansing juice fast this weekend. I need to start eating healthier foods and walking, and I am going to focus on that this weekend, I feel that my body needs it

B = vegetable and fruit smoothie, ham and cheese sandwich on baguette with butter and mustard

L = dinner roll with butter, spaghetti with marinara and mushrooms and lots of cheese

D = homemade chicken noodle soup

209.4
walked 4 miles

Looking good, Girl

Wow, I looked away for a couple of days and now I see single digits after that 2! Yay!

208.4.

walked yesterday and lay in bed all day, ate very little, drank lots of water, flu like feeling

going to see if I can walk today

B = 1 cup grapefruit juice, 3/4 of a healthy breakfast burrito: whole wheat tortilla, eggs and peppers, potatoes, salsa

L = small serving of pasta and mushroom marinara sauce

d = none

no alc.
30 minute walk

I wouldn't call this nos, as I am eating way less and laying around, but hoping weight will stay off

Off to a good start. Walked 4 miles

B = green vegetable juice, one slice whole wheat bread, with 2 ounces avocado spread on top, maybe an apple

tba

206.6

Sunday:

B = green vegetable juice, one slice whole wheat bread, 2 oz. avocado

L = 3/4 of a double cheeseburger at in and out and 1/2 the fries with ketchup, ice tea no sugar

D = Sushi, felt a little sick after, threw up when I got home, 2 oatmeal cookies, drinks

4 mile walk

You're killin it!! Awesome!

Hope you're feeling better. Amazing that you've been walking so much this past week when it appears you've been sick.

207.6

Yesterday a huge s day
I did walk four miles even if I'm under the weather and life sucks I can walk even if I crawl

207. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. this is maddening. I want to get to below 200 so badly. I am so close. I feel like I will never get there.

No walk yesterday, ate well until dinner, then ate too much

"I can walk even if I have to crawl"

Dude, you are hardcore!

That scale is moving down, just not at the rate you would like!

I have been stuck at the low 200s for what seems like forever. and I have 50 pounds to go, I can't keep maintaining, that is the maddening part. Oh well, nothing to do but push forward. I didn't walk yesterday, have to walk today.

207.8

no walking for two days and not great eating, I can do better than this

So excited, got my Breville juicer from amazon today! So much easier to use than my grandma's old 1980s juicer. I tried doing the smoothie thing in the Ninja, but it never came out smooth and had to keep chewing through kale and other veggies, it didn't go down easily. But made my first juice today and really liked it!

1/2 organic cucumber
several stalks organic celery
one organic granny smith apple
one organic large carrot
several leaves dark organic kale

going to walk today, that is my goal

sounds yummy. My father-in-law uses a juicer, I always look forward to our visits!

209.6, haven't walked in 3 days =(

B = normal

S = cake, stress eating set in

L = normal

S = candy, cheese, crackers

S = some chips

S = one slice pizza

D = normal

S = ate noodles out of the pot,

sigh, I know I can do better than this. I think my goal should be:

-7 days no s
-no weighing myself for 7 days
-walk daily 4 miles
-no drinking, because that leads to a bigger appetite
-weigh myself day seven, or maybe go two weeks, then weigh in day 14

Let's see what happens

Sounds like a good plan!

I'm there with ya, Girl!

209.6

struggling, no walking this weekend, hanging on

208.4

B = green vege juice, whole wheat bagel with cream cheese, green ice tea no sugar

L = fast food jack in the box, breaded chicken sandwich, curly fries, ketchup, ice tea, no sugar

Snack, fail, = chips, chex mix, chocolate

D = homemade chicken noodle soup, two bowls, drinks, I think that is it

no walk

My goal:

3 meals a day, try to eat at home when possible
walk everyday, 2x a day during vacation
no alc, except for thanksgiving day

yes, I can do this!!!!!

my oven works again, so I can start making things in the oven again, it is the little things

B = fresh squeezed oj, green tea no sugar, 1 and 1/2 multi-grain bagel with cheese

L = green vegetable juice, one plate: rest of the bagel, apples, almonds and dried cranberries, cheese

D = to be announced

goal for later:
walk
no alc.

210.2

maybe no s was good when I had 100 pounds to lose. Maybe the next 50 pounds are going to have to come off with weight watchers. Maybe no s has come as far as it can for me. This holding pattern...i just can't take it anymore

211.4

yesterday was a bad day, I ate whatever, haven't walked in a week or more. feeling depressed and unmotivated

If you can keep the No S Habits in place, then why not experiment with what food you eat? I don't see why No S and Weight Watchers (or any other approach) couldn't combine, if it's really important to you to see movement on the scale -- three weight watchers meals a day, snacks and sweets on weekends, within a certain point range. It's a lot of counting, but maybe you are up for it.

Or maybe you can find something that is calorie dense but not that important to you to cut on a regular basis -- I cut out cream in my coffee and maintained effortlessly for almost 10 years just from that!

Good luck, joasia!

Hang in there, joasia! You have been working so hard for so long, you are the definition of perseverance! I feel sure that you will this out and keep the scale going down!

I have a beautiful neighbor that I see out walking several times a week, usually with her dogs. She is overweight (I have no idea by how much) and I often find myself thinking of you and your determined walking. I wish I could walk with you, I'm sure you'd be an awesome walking partner. And then you could vent the whole walk about how frustrated you are with your body not getting smaller! Can you find a walking buddy? I think a fellow traveler (in many senses of that word) could do wonders for you right now. Here's a big cyber hug (OK, I'll admit that's the first time I've ever typed that, but for my Eeyore, it's worth it!)

212.8

another bad day yesterday, no walk

starting vacation tomorrow, so will have plenty of chances to walk. even though i am down in the dumps, i haven't given up yet

I have been fighting this for a long time, without a whole bunch of support, yeah it would be nice to have a walking buddy,

thank you for all your kind encouragement, I need it right now

213.4

how special. whatever, screw this, I am so sick of this

212.8

ok, I have 9 days off for thanksgiving, the least i can do is walk everyday, i need to find my groove again

Hats off, joasia -- you are so persistent, it's bound to pay off. I wonder what it is about this weight that makes your body think it has to stick here? Is it part of your body's "memory?" Were you around this weight for a long time on the way up, so to speak?

Anyway, frustrated or not, fed up or not, you just keep at it -- you are an inspiration!

I don't know what it is. I know I know everyone says it's not genetic, but I think some of it may be. my great grandma was a big woman, back when there was no fast food. So was my grandma and my mom, both cook homemade meals from scratch and rarely eat out. When my mom was younger, she weighed less but was still curvy, but she jogged and did a lot of aerobics.

but even if it is some genetic element, I could be less heavy but still not skinny. 60 extra pounds isn't just a little extra. oh well, can't blame my thyroid or menopause so............maybe it will always be a mystery. Or maybe I just love to eat and eat too much, that is an unpleasant reality, but there it is. who knows. I cracked out my 4 mile walk, didn't feel like it, but I did it. Although I was planning holiday menus in my head the whole time. maybe I will try for another 4 tonight, we will see.

As frustrating as it is, my only other option is to give up and regain 58 pounds, and that option sucks. It sucks more than maintaining does. so there you have it

212.2

212
walked 4 miles

I walked 4 miles today, but ate too much, I visited a old time candy shop and bought fudge and jelly beans, which didn't help, but I am walking, as always, I have to modify my eating. onward

211.6

I will take it. I have been walking, but eating hasn't been great

Joasia, I also read herbgirls blog. 20 bites is unlikely to be a whole plate in my house. I think the idea is you eat sooooooo slowly that your stomach has time to feel full before you have eaten too many calories.

Got it, that makes sense.

did my 4 miles today, onward

211.2

I will take it, I didn't eat well yesterday. There were creamy holiday casseroles and other goodies. I did walk my 4 miles

211.2

I haven't walked in two days and no gain after thanksgiving, I will take it

208.6

I think it is a fluke. I didn't eat much yesterday, and I walked, but it seems that that number is too low, oh well. I don't believe it. But I love to see it anyway.

208

209. how I ate hardly anything yesterday and gained a pound, who knows. I don't know what to do, feeling frustrated

Look how much you have lost in a week! dont give up!

206.2

stomach flu. walked 4 miles

-homemade vege and fruit juice: red cabbage, celery, green apple, ginger root
-one slice of whole wheat toast spread with half an avocado
-one orange

walked 4 miles
no alc.

was a bad day at work, praying for some good news, I really need some

206.8

so, I ate very little yesterday and walked and i gained. I just don't understand at all.

I'm sure you've noticed that the pendulum always swings up a bit sometimes -- it has to. It's the universe testing your resolve. Will you feel discouraged, or will you laugh, keep the faith, and keep going?

you are right. I just really need it to start swinging the right way for once, I have had too many set backs and disappointments lately.

B = 2 slices whole wheat toast, 1/2 avocado, one slice of american cheese, vegetable juice

L = 2 cups homemade vegetable and lentil soup, one orange

D = tba

going to try to walk, my knee is sore from all the walking yesterday

Ugh, stood all day at work and walked 4 miles, and today my right knee hurts. Maybe I should skip the walk today. I don't want to, but I want my knee to feel better. Never had knee problems before, I think I overdid it yesterday. Sitting at work today, and will try to walk tonight.

I'm in a nosy mood today -- sue me. But from reading your recent posts you sound like you might be exercising your knees too much too quickly and the rest of you is on a diet. Your knee is clearly begging for one lousy day of rest (do arm curls with a skillet, give the legs a break) and your body is holding onto weight because it's afraid you're trying to starve it to death.

The Hare always loses. The wise, bespectacled, diligent but MODERATE tortoise always wins.

You are so inspiring. Be nicer to yourself and I bet your body will thank you in many ways, one of which will hopefully be an eventual but not immediate continued downward trend.

your advice is very wise and sound. yes, I am very hard on myself, for many reasons. Right now I have health problems that are forcing me to make some big changes weight wise. I want to be moderate, but lately moderate has my weight standing in place, and I am worried, and exhausted, and demoralized, and hanging on by a thread.

So do you do your four miles outside or on a treadmill? I've been doing some crazy working out that makes me super sore and not want to workout, I'm considering doing much more walking...listening to some audiobooks

Btw I'm sorry for the ups and downs, but this thing called life is a journey for us, and we are learning more and more every day! You can do this!

204.4

I hate tread mills. they are boring. I walk outside, somehow it is more interesting.

B = diner: egg over medium, potatoes, ketchup, 2 strips bacon, whole wheat toast one slice, one strawberry, fresh oj

L = tba

D = tba

walk 4 miles

Congrats on great numbers and a wonderful breakfast!

Didn't eat all of the breakfast, left some behind

You are killin' it and totally encouraging me in this slump I'm in! Keep it up

206.4

my body just doesn't want to get below 200. I didn't walk yesterday

205.2

haven't walked in 2 days

207

ate very little yesterday, no walk

205.4

b = slice of pizza and grapefruit juice

l = plate of mexican food and sip of hot chocolate

d = ?

going to try to walk

that's my kind of breakfast! Not sure if you know this, but I could eat pizza pretty much every day and not get sick of it. Come to think of it, I feel the same way about Mexican food! I guess I like your meals today. Now, if you have spaghetti with garlic bread for dinner, I'll really be living vicariously through your meals!

Hope you got your walk in. I am starting to feel like my walk to work each day is one of the best things I do in my life right now!

206

haven't walked, but today I will try to walk

206

206.2

haven't been walking but that will change over christmas break, will have lots of time to walk

B = 3 or 4 bites choc. cake, grilled cheese sandwich, small licorice, several bites of a vege burger with everything

L = none

D = tba

goal: walk

I know that this could be a sensitive topic to mention to you.... but what are your thoughts on getting another 4-legged walking partner?

yeah, i've thought about it and I know that I probably will get one again. just don't know when.

206.6

204

walked 4 miles yesterday

3 pieces of oven bbq chicken, 2 1/2 biscuits, crackers and cheese, 1 1/2 ears of corn, potato salad, peppermint candy, baked beans, 3 tamales, was a little sick and threw up

I seem to remember you getting a little sick and throwing up a few days ago...or was that someone else?

Do you tend to get nauseous a lot? Do you have anxiety that leads to it?

yes, lots of anxiety

204.8

getting through life one day at a time right now.

B = one pork tamale, orange, 1/4 cup potato salad

L = tba probably the other tamale, rest of orange, rest of potato salad, green salad

D = tba

going try to walk

Ugh

I ate breakfast, I ate lunch, then somebody tempted me with a plate of nachos, and I didn't say no. So it looks like I am done eating for the day. Nachos were my dinner plate. now I have to walk tonight. ugh, I hope I don't gain. Feeling like I need some good news, life has been just one challenge after another. I am not a complainer, but I am tired of dealing with hardship. I know life has ups and downs. I need some ups.

B = 1 tamale, 1/4 cup potato salad, orange

L = 1 tamale, 1/4 cup potato salad, rest of the orange, big sald with greens, tomatos, cheese, nuts, olives, and 1/2 the dressing from trader joes

D = plate of nachos

203.4

how I ate a ton yesterday and still lost weight? ah the mysteries of the scale. probably dehydration. still didn't walk =(

maybe if I lose weight my mother will talk to me again

When did that happen (not talking to your mom?)
Oh, and I thought your mom is not supportive of your weight loss efforts?

My mother doesn't talk to me because I am fat, and according to her I shouldn't be. Even though she is overweight as well. She hasn't talked to me for 3 1/2 months. It hurts, but maybe if I lose some more I weight she will.

I am so so sorry that your mom isn't giving you the support you need from a mom! Ugh. How painful! Well, all I can say is that you need to do this for you. That's the only way it will truly stick! You are doing awesome in my book!

Btw...has she just completely missed the 60 pounds you've lost???

Joasia,
I know we are all supposed to be nice on these boards, but I'm righteously indignant for you!
Since you have lost SO MUCH weight already, it seems only feasible to me that somehow your mother is trying to SABOTAGE your weight loss.
Who knows, we all have our own family junk, but my heart just goes out to you.

I agree with automated, joasia -- you deserve better. You have made heroic progress in weight loss. Maybe your mother will talk to you again and maybe she won't -- whatever she does is a reflection of her issues, though, not yours.

203.8

My mother feels that because I am younger than her, I should be able to be thin. Her thought is that she is older and that is why she is not thin. I have told her that I have lost 64 pounds, but it doesn't seem to matter. Because I am still overweight and not at goal weight. It is the curse of the only child and the only daughter. I am expected to deliver everything. I owe her. And I haven't given her grandchildren, so I am worthless to her. It hurts that she can't be my friend and accept me for who I am, but she's from the old world and she isn't going to change.

Anyway, thank you for your supportive words everybody. I keep going on, would love to get below 200, but my body seems to be holding on to pounds. Today is another day.

"she's from the old world and she isn't going to change"

I wondered about this, joasia. I also wondered if she wasn't pinning a lot of other expectations to your weight loss. Anyway, it's her choice and her loss not to enjoy the company of her lovely only daughter as she is!

thank you. it is just hard not talking to family this time of year

Your mother's treatment of you (hold your breath, this will sound crazy) has NOTHING to do with you. This is about her. I would recommend some books on codependency. Oh, there's one called,
"In the Box of Daughter" (cheap on kindle). There are lots of great books on this topic. I don't know how familiar you are with codependency, but it can keep you from achieving your own goals as you try to meet the emotional needs of someone else.

I'm a bit rambly right now--and I've got kiddos needing their emotional needs jumping around me! -- but this is a favorite "counseling" topic of mine. We'll have to discuss more later....

thank you, that might help, I've been struggling with it a lot

I'm a disappointment to her: I'm the only one in my family divorced, i'm overweight, no grandchildren, and she doesn't like the guy I'm dating. Well, I don't know if I like him right now, but that is a whole different topic. anyway, she feels that she invested her time staying at home raising me and now I owe her. It doesn't help that I am the only one. What bothers me is she never gives me credit for the good things I have accomplished in my life.

maybe I will call her at christmas, but all ever get is guilt and disappointment. Oh well, no one ever said everyone's life is easy.

thank you automatedeating for taking the time to ask

What automatedeating said above reminds me of this from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Don't take anything personally.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream (vision of their life). When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

If someone gives you an opinion and says, "Hey, you look so fat," don't take it personally, because the truth is that this person is dealing with his or her thoughts, feelings and opinions. That person tried to send poison to you and if you take it personally, then you take that poison and it becomes yours. Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up.

You eat all of their emotional garbage and now it becomes your garbage. But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell.

wosnes, what a great quote for joasia right now! That is perfect.

And I love that book!

Joasia, I almost didn't post again on this because I have so many things I want to say and ask you that I didn't know where to start. But rather than let the perfect (comment/question) be the enemy of the good, I thought I'd say a couple more first impressions about your mom:

It's possible that she has projected on to you the very guilt that her mother projected on to her. What I mean is.... maybe her mom thought she was fat, her mom thought she should have had more kids (and at least a boy, sheesh!), her mom thought she should have a happier marriage, be nicer to her husband, etc., etc. And it seems clear that your mom needs to take responsibility for her own choices about the sacrifices she made raising you. She had choices to pursue (or not) her own interests, to set boundaries with you. But instead she enmeshed her own personality with yours and now blames you for taking away her freedom...... not healthy.

Like I said before, this is one of my favorite topics. And my goodness does it have a lot to do with our body image and our eating, and so on.

I hope others chime in here, too.... because I am all overflowing with ideas and it makes it hard for me to articulate. Learning about our tendency to take responsibility for another human's happiness--and then slowly break those habits--is a journey all of its own, and I hope that it is a journey you decide to take, joasia. I am on it, and can say that it is changing my life in so many wonderful ways.

207

sigh, sometimes I hate my life

Thank you all, your words help me a lot right now.

Chiming in, but just a little -- it's always hard when someone moves from a different culture to the US but then expects the children to adhere to the expectations of the parents' culture. The children end up torn, with a foot in each world. Your mother thinks she is motivating you to do the right thing -- and in a weird, sad way, she is motivating you -- but not in a way that will make you happy or whole in your actual life here and now. It's just putting a lot of useless guilt on you.

I'd say, yes, call her for the holidays, not to ask for her approval, but just because you are a big enough person to love her and wish her well, even though she can't do the same for you. But how sad for both of you that she can't!

So true and well put jw. thank you so much

thank you everyone for the kind and encouraging words. I usually don't post personal stuff here, but it was really nice reading everyone's replies. It makes me feel really nice to have such awesome cyber friends at a difficult time

206.2

vacation starts at the end of today, really going to focus on walking and getting healthy, and on myself

Just read a blog this morning and thought of you, joasia -- the gist of it was that when people focus on their hopes and dreams, they become open to good changes, but when they focus on fixing their flaws, they close down and no good changes can occur. It came from the Harvard Business Review -- hope you spend your vacation taking long, lovely walks and dreaming good dreams for the future!

Here's the link, in case you want to share it with someone (like maybe your Mom!):

http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/12/when-you-c ... to-change/

ty so much jw - i got teary lol