Natj food log

Giada · Post by **Giada** » Mon Dec 21, 2015 9:33 am

If the non-wild S days happened because that's what you wanted (or because there was nothing really S-worthy) I think it's quite sustainable. It's when we force ourselves to forego esses as a form of punishment, or because we want to lose faster - well, that would have me worried.

(And yay on the loose pants!)

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:41 pm

Yay I'm so glad you're able to feel better about things now that the end is in sight. There's nothing worse than being in a bad situation with no promise of change in the immediate future. On the other hand we can deal with a lot if we know it's a short-term thing.

Anyway, your S days look great & agree with Giada that they can be sustainable. I tend to have a least one wild S day still but plenty other ppl don't.

Hope your week goes well.

Linda

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Dec 21, 2015 8:31 pm

A belated welcome back from Hawaii. Must seem like ages ago. Isn't it great how we can fill up on things besides food on a trip? And have a good time even without the perfect body!

I'm so glad the weight loss pressure is off. And that you're enjoying your meals.

AND that you got that great call from an old boss! Talk about serendipity.

I had thought I would retire in June but am considering one more year, but working half time. But when I need to, I give myself the out of June. It does make it easier.

natj · Post by **natj** » Wed Dec 23, 2015 12:55 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- light english muffin with butter and an egg

L-1/2 grilled chicken cesaer salad with focaccia bread

D- smoked sausage with sautéed cabbage

Steamed milk with honey....then FAIL- I ate some Christmas Crunch that I made for Christmas presents. Over the weekend, I didn't even like it, then for whatever reason, I ate about a serving. Not too bad as far as fails go, but still a fail.

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- light english muffin with butter and an egg

L- 3/4 Jimmy johns sub; 1/2 bag of chips; unsweetened iced tea with lemon

D- FAIL. Ground turkey tacos. I was an animal when I got home today and I have no idea why. I had a few bites to "sample" while cooking, then I had seconds, then I proceeded to have thirds (should have put everything on my plate at the same time to get a visual of how much I ate for dinner- a total of about 3-4 tacos). Then, I proceeded to grab a few mini Reeses pb cups, and in the midst of everything, I acknowledged that I was about to binge, so I made myself sit down with a vita muffin top topped with frosting and REALLY taste it. Well, that did the trick and I stopped my binge (but finished the muffin top). The good news is that lately I am able to step out of myself and analyze what I'm doing and make decisions around it. It's weird, but good.

Giada- thanks for the comments about the S days. I like to believe you are right and hope I can continue to sustain them not being too crazy.

Linda, YES, YES, YES- I totally agree, we can bear almost anything knowing that things are temporary. It's also good to know that I can still be successful in repairing my relationship with food (like you) even with a wild S day in there on the weekends.

Oolala- thanks for the welcome back- and it DOES feel like forever ago. It's funny you used the word serendipity- I have used it when verbally sharing the situation with my family- it truly feels that way and that I have such good luck with this opportunity! As far as your retirement (or not) in June, I believe you will have a clear picture on the next step as the date draws nearer. Keep checking in with us about it.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Dec 23, 2015 2:02 am

I may just be insensitive, but I think there is often nor more rhyme and reason to that kind of eating overage, where you just go from one thing to another, than that our limbic system wire gets tripped and off we go, especially if we've done it before. It's just an old pattern. I listen to people on other boards rack their brains trying to figure out what emotion they were feeling or what event set them off. Even if it WAS something like that, the cure is the same: ignore the urges. But finally getting that and remembering that's all that can be done doesn't usually happen in one few swoop.

Don't be surprised if something similar occurs to you to do tomorrow.You had a little fail with the Christmas crunch, then a bigger one the next day. The body will likely want to keep the pattern going Just know what it is and keep thinking about how you want to save your extras for Christmas or whenever you're taking your official NWS days. Hang in there!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Dec 23, 2015 3:53 am

Yay for stopping the situation b4 it became a train wreck. This is one of the best side effects I notice different people having once they start NoS. somehow the sanity even spills into these insane moments and we're able to catch ourselves. I had a very similar experience tonight. I'm not sure what it is about NoS that causes this but I'm very grateful for it.

Anyway tomorrow will be better.

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Thu Dec 24, 2015 1:12 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- 2 over easy eggs with buttered toast

L- Smoked sausage sandwich; (literally) 2 potato chips; watermelon

D- 1/2 pork chop; mashed potatoes, corn

hot mocha

Ok, better day today. Linda, I am starting to notice No S is making me more aware, even in those crazy moments. Such a blessing. The best thing is that I continue to wait for my guilt to come, but it never does- it's awesome and so different than when I'm dieting which leads me to...

Oolala, what an interesting thought about how that this may be a neural pathway that keeps on firing and that I may be basically just carrying out a past habit (or should I say, habits).

Either way, I will try harder to fight these urges in the future. With the progress I've made so far, I'm thinking that I will be able to break some of those pathways in the future. Here's to that! (I'm raising my mug to that)

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Thu Dec 24, 2015 3:08 pm

I got the idea from reading a book about obsessive compulsive disorder. I thought, well, I seem to be obsessed with eating often and sometimes A LOT; let me see what they say about people who feel compelled to do other unnecessary behaviors. The therapists taught a process to clients and found over time that it actually changed brain patterns The theory helped me immensely to stick to the plan when I first started. It's also pretty much the basis of Brain Over Binge, though she didn't get her ideas from it.

Enjoy your meals (and S's?) today!

natj · Post by **natj** » Sat Dec 26, 2015 4:14 pm

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B-2 low carb crepes 3 slices of bacon

L- a handful of pepperoni; 2 slices of salami

(S event- 4 sugar cookies)

D- 1/2 steak; 3 shrimp; aspargus

The S event worked! I didn't eat much dinner because I had my S event beforehand.

Coffee with organic cream and sugar
B- 1 egg overeasy; 4 slices of bacon; 1 slice of toast with butter

L-buffalo chicken dip with cauliflower; 2 mimosas; a martini; ham; cheesy potatoes; salad; 2 stuffed grape leaves; a 1/3 slice of lasagna

2 more glasses of wine

D- buffalo chicken dip with cauliflower; 3 brownies; 2 sugar cookies

pistachos

Wow- I ate and DRANK a lot yesterday, but had a wonderful time with my family on Christmas! Again, waiting for the guilt to come, but nothing. This was a one-off for me, so I'll trust that my body will compensate for what it needs today or over the next few days, food-wise.

Oolala,

I've heard that book title mentioned several times on this board, so I think I will look into it. Very interesting to think through. I wonder where the pathways start... do they start with guilty feelings, and then the actions follow, or do they start with just the actions of binging... who knows!?

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Dec 26, 2015 7:20 pm

You might be able to get this one from a library: http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Yourse ... 0060987111

BOB is good, too, but very different. It is basically her experience.

I think the guilt comes afterwards for the most part and is related to body judgment, though overeating junk has other effects than weight gain. But most of us wouldn't feel bad if we hadn't thought at one point that we were too fat and shouldn't be eating so much. Even if we decide that's true, guilt rarely changes the behavior. In fact, it is normally associated with a stronger reinforcement!

I think not feeling guilt is an even greater achievement! This doesn't mean at some point you might calmly and rationally decide that you want to eat less than you have been on S days or NWS days because you just don't feel as good, etc.

Am I repeating myself? Happy Boxing Day!

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Dec 27, 2015 4:33 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- none

L- sandwich with leftover ham; a small pretzel roll

piece of banana pudding cake; sugar wafers

D- 2 bowls of cereal; 2 sugar cookies

sunflower seeds

Very carb-filled day. I suspect it's residual from drinking so much alcohol yesterday. I feel very bloated and icky. Will remember this feeling.

Oolala,

Thanks for the book information. It's all so fascinating to know that these "fails" we have may simply be tied to previous habit, rather than something more specific. I'm going to check out the library first and report back. By the way I hope you are having a great holiday season so far!

natj · Post by **natj** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 2:10 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- 3 low carb crepes; a few small pieces of fried ham

L- small piece of lasagna with cesaer salad and olives

raspberry cheesecake bite; chocolate chip cookie

D- (ugh) vita muffin top spread with frosting; 1/2 sandwich; Ritz crackers and a few pieces of cheddar cheese; a serving of Ruffles; Sunflower seeds

a piece of chocolate

A wild S at dinner time. Wasn't satisfied with my meal, so I scrounged around and ate a lot doing so. Oh well, back to and N day tomorrow- I am relieved about that!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 2:59 am

Sorry about that unsatisfied feeling--hate that but yeah for N days!

Were your crepes homemade or store bought? DH lives crepes but we haven't made them in awhile due to his low-carb needs.

Have a great week!

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Tue Dec 29, 2015 1:31 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- English muffin sandwich

L- Jimmy Johns ham sub

D- pork tenderloin; sugar snap peas; mashed potatoes; corn

Then fail... vita muffin top spread with chocolate frosting; piece of cheese; hot mocha.

So, I was white-knuckling through today from lunch to dinner; I made it through, barely, by having a cup of peppermint tea. But then after dinner this evening, I couldn't take it any longer....

I'm so confused- I can't stop thinking about the Brain over Binge book I have been reading and I couldn't tell if I was really just that hungry between lunch and dinner (which I very well could have been) or if it was my "animal brain" telling me that I was hungry when I wasn't and that I was just following an old habit by wanting to eat as soon as I get home. Ugh. And then I think I may have rebelled by eating after dinner- One thing for sure is that I seem to always want to "buck" the systems I read/hear about (like I used to with dieting) and think that may have been what I was doing. But, still not sure if I was still hungry or was following an animal brain neural pathway I've created long ago. Either way, I think that I'm going to stop reading this book asap- it's getting too confusing for me! In all honesty, I don't even think I have a real binge problem (luckily) unless I am restrictively dieting- and then it's not even as severe as a BED! Sigh. I can be too impressionable sometimes. Oh well, onward to tomorrow!

Linda,

I have been trying to use up a low-carb baking mix I purchased awhile back called Carb-Quik and have been experimenting and using this mix in all kinds of recipes. While it doesn't make a truly perfect crepe, it does end up tasting "close". I also think it has some type of leavening agent in it which makes the crepe slightly thicker than a typical one. Anyway, here's a recipe I've played around with that makes about one serving (makes 3 crepes):
-1/3 cup Carb Quick
-1/3 cup Fairlife milk (lower carb milk)
-1/3 cup water
-1 egg
pinch of salt; 1/2 tsp of vanilla
butter for frying

Let me know if you have any questions!

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Tue Dec 29, 2015 2:37 pm

I used to have that urge to eat when I left work/got home from work - I realized that they were 'transition times'. I dealt with it by buying a bottle of sparkling water to sip on my journey home and/or chewing gum. When I get home now, I make a cup of tea - and that's it. Breaking the cycle is worthwhile because I no longer even get that urge to eat at transition times. (I still carry gum just in case!)

natj · Post by **natj** » Tue Dec 29, 2015 11:46 pm

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- English muffin with butter and an egg

L- small salami sandwich on a pretzel slider bun; cauliflower and buffalo chicken dip

D- chicken pot pie; carrots and ranch

FAIL: serving of cookie dough frozen custard- but well worth it! While I should have squirreled it away for tomorrow, an employee got this from me from a specialty frozen custard shop and I couldn't wait to try it. It was so good and I enjoyed every second.

2 fails in a row, but today I don't feel quite so out of control. I was going to originally take tomorrow, Thursday and Friday as NWS days, but am rethinking tomorrow, for sure, and then just making Thursday evening an NWS time. Friday can't be helped due to family visits, parties, etc, but will definitely try and be reasonable.

Raw cookie- I like your idea. Basically building a new, non-food, habit in the place of an old one. Ironically, I had some mint tea on my way home, and enjoyed it! I think its definitely work a shot.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Dec 31, 2015 5:27 am

Hi nat

Thank you for posting the recipe. I'm excited to try it and don't worry we never expect the low-carb versions to taste like the original. It's just nice to have any kind of substitute for these kinds of cravings.

Sorry you've had a couple slip ups but try not to overthink it too much. In the beginning I didn't listen to podcasts or read any books or anything. I really just focused on getting a green even if I had to white knuckle it. I knew once the habit was established it get easier (it did). I do agree about transitions being tough though. Key for me is having something to look forward--tea, a glass of wine, coffee etc. Even my gummy vitamins will do the trick sometimes but if I feel like I can't have anything that will usually trigger a red moment.

Anyway just telling you what worked for me. I'm sure you'll find your own way.

Hope you have a nice nye!

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Thu Dec 31, 2015 3:29 pm

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- Bowl of raisin bran

L- small ham sandwich with single serving of chips

Coffee with cream and sugar

D- 5 small slices of thin crust pizza; 2 glasses of wine

Well, I had intended on having an NWS event today, but didn't need it! Awesome.

Linda, thanks for the idea about the gummy vitamins- I never think about that anymore and could use that and some water to get me through. I appreciate you sharing what has worked for you! Also, let me know if you end up trying out the "crepes".

Have a Very Happy New Year!!!!

natj · Post by **natj** » Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:49 pm

New Year's Eve

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- 5 slices thin crust pizza

L- small ham sandwich

Several "tastes" of the food I was preparing for the evening

D- No idea (I ate and drank a LOT)

Still not guilty, I had a great time and didn't worry about any of it!

New Years Day
Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B-3 sausage links with a serving of scrambled eggs

L- Chicken noodle soup with fresh baked bread (YUM)

D- 1/2 NY Strip Steak with cheesy hash brown potatoes and salad; glass of wine; S treats: brownie cookie bar; PB bar;

(much later) pineapple fluff

Not too bad. I've come to want to eat my treats with meals, and I try to keep the same 3 meals per day when I can. I just prefer being hungry for my meals- it makes everything taste more delicious! Good and moderate way to bring in the New Year!

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:29 pm

Saturday
Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B-2 scrambled eggs; 2 sausage links; 2 pieces of buttered toast

PB cookie bar

L- Salad and small bowl of chili; 2 pieces of bread

D- Cheeseburger and fries; PB cookie bar; brownie cookie bar with frosting

Lots of potato chips (sitting with hubby in front of TV)- Mindless eating

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:32 pm

Sunday

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B-Blueberry muffin top with butter; 5 slice crispy bacon

L- Meatloaf; mashed potatoes, mozzarella and tomato salad; corn; piece of buttered bread (all on one plate)

Made granola and had some tastes of it...

D-a few pieces of candy; small ice cream sundae; sunflower seeds

3 strawberry newtons

Kind of eating just to eat today after lunch. Not that hungry, but still ate anyway.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jan 04, 2016 5:33 am

Doesn't look like too crazy of a weekend overall. Glad you had fun on Nye & yes def don't feel guilty for splurging during those special times.

I see you made granola! How'd it turn out? I just made a bunch for DHs work. I put them in little mason jars and let my girls decorate them. It's always a hit!

Have a great week!

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 1:38 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- Yogurt and (homemade) granola!

L- Salami on a pretzel slider bun; veggies and leftover jalapeño dip

D- leftover strip steak, a few bites of cheesy potatoes; sugar snap peas

Decaf low-cal mocha

Linda, thanks for stopping by. So I made the granola and got rave reviews from my hubby! I enjoyed it too, but he REALLY liked it so, of course, I'm giving him more tomorrow for his lunch so he can have it with his yogurt. Unfortunately this first time, I burned one of the trays, but I'll know next time to check about 10 mins before it's done baking. I made it with dried blueberries, honey, and added extra nuts (I used sliced almonds and pecans). It was really yummy- thanks so much for the recipe!

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:17 am

Looks like yummy food! Well done for a successful day.

natj · Post by **natj** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 1:22 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- yogurt with blueberries and granola

L-veggies and dip; small cup of chicken noodle; salami on a pretzel slider

D- Lean Cuisine; carrots and ranch
Steamed milk and honey

Thanks Wahine! I am really trying to eat for satisfaction this year- and, of course, trying to eat less too!

natj · Post by **natj** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 1:06 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- light buttered english muffin with an egg

L- carrots and ranch; salami sandwich on a pretzel slider bun; a few bites of yogurt with granola

D- lasagna and garlic bread

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:16 am

Hiya - thanks for the comment on my thread - looks like you're doing well too!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Jan 07, 2016 5:12 pm

Hi Natj! Happy New Year

Seems like you already had a great start.

natj · Post by **natj** » Fri Jan 08, 2016 3:46 am

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- light english muffin with butter and an egg

L- salami sandwich on a pretzel slider bun; yogurt with blueberries and granola

D- Hot dogs and cole slaw; chips; FAIL: had seconds on chips; then a few pieces of chocolate

Headache this evening- perhaps played into the FAIL. Oh well, marking and moving on!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jan 09, 2016 6:57 am

Sorry about the headache & the fail but still pretty good overall. Enjoy your weekend.

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:13 pm

S Day
Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- bowl of raisin bran

L-pretzel slider sandwich with ham; a few chips

D- Our LAST holiday party (we have hosted a total of 4 this year) and I ate lots of appetizers; 1/2 of my dinner plate; small piece of chocolate pudding pie.

Pretty moderate party eating. SO GLAD it's all over. As I was getting dressed for the party, I had one of those moments where I was sick of myself because I couldn't find a comfortable outfit. In fact, I was uncomfortable throughout the whole night. I need to do something to get this weight off me. It's time I start trying to "eat better" through No S. I think I am ready for a little restriction by eating less rich/caloric food than what I am eating. I'm going to try it out coming week.

S Day
Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B-3 low carb crepes with sugar; 4 slices extra crispy bacon

L-brat with no bun; raw veggies with dip; 5 oreos; 4 sugar wafers;handful of wheat thins

D- TBD

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jan 11, 2016 5:32 am

Wow 4 holiday parties? You are a champ. I love the idea of throwing parties but they really stress me out.

Looks like you did well. Sorry about the clothes. So been there. The weight will come off just hang in there. Make changes that don't feel like a chore or you will have a hard time sticking to it. I think someone's from here said to me once not to make any changes that I couldn't imagine doing for the rest of my life. Makes sense really. I think the first change I made was smaller plates at breakfast & lunch. Maybe try with some small doable changes & you can build on that?

Anyway looking forward to hearing what you come up with. Have a great week!

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Tue Jan 12, 2016 1:35 am

N Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- light yogurt with 1/2 english muffin and egg whites

L- low carb tortilla with ham and lettuce with pop chips and a pack of 100 calorie almonds

D- lean cuisine with light bread garlic toast and then.... FAIL. Ate the ends off my son's PB&J; ate some M&M's; a few sugar wafers

Well, OK, that didn't work. How's that for rebellion? Linda, I was laughing the entire time I was typing, thinking that I wish I had read what you wrote right before dinner. Basically, I couldn't keep up with eating "lite" foods that I'm not crazy about for the rest of my life. It's funny, as I think about it, I went the opposite way with moderation, and ate only light/low cal foods for my meals rather than mix them in. I like the idea of making your breakfast and lunch plates smaller to start. Anyway, I'm going back to vanilla and will mark this one as a fail today. Sigh.

natj · Post by **natj** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:03 am

N Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- buttered light bread (am trying to use it up); egg

L- Salami sandwich on a pretzel slider bun; grapes; rice chips

D- bratwurst on a bun; 1/4 pb&J; chicken broth; a few wheat thins.

Plate piled kinda high for dinner, but overall a much better day. I have been thinking a lot about habits and believe I have the three meals habit down. Now I'd like to keep a tight reign on the plates habit. So, for instance, no virtual plating like I sometimes do. No seconds, even though I justify that my 2nd piece of "something" would have fit on my plate. The sweets will be ongoing.

I really believe that if the habits get formed, it will normalize my relationship with food and weight loss will follow, if it's meant to be. Just want to have realistic and moderate habits with food. It's like the same technique I use with my child- habit and schedule. It reduces his anxiety because he knows what to expect most days. I think No S can do the same for me, because I'll know what to expect most days with regards to eating. I'm going to try like heck to get the habit down and not worry about anything else. Let's see how this goes.

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 4:51 am

natj wrote:I'm going to try like heck to get the habit down and not worry about anything else. Let's see how this goes.

That sounds like the way to do it! I'm trying to concentrate on habit myself and genuinely not worry about the weight for now. I need to depend on habit.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 5:22 am

Yeah nat you definitely have got to enjoy those meals or like you discovered, you will rebel. I agree much better to focus on being strict with your habits. The rest will follow. I almost never virtually plate unless I'm forced too. Even if I'm having soup and maybe veggies w dip and an apple. I'll put everything on my plate to make sure it fits before I eat then I'll take the bowl off and eat it separately or something.

But it's just too easy to lie to ourselves otherwise. That's what I do when I taste while cooking. I tell myself it's too hard not to or I need to make sure it's right or it's too small to matter but it's just my way of fooling myself so I'm working on that right now.

I think the consistency of 3 meals a day is huge. It made me so much calmer & secure about food in general. After years and years of bingeing & starving mode it felt like such a gift to be treated so well. Once my brain realized this was really here to stay I was able to tweak the quality & quantity of my meals. But in the beginning they were piled high w heavy food and that was for a good several months. So have patience with yourself. Your body wants to be at a healthy weight (whatever that is for you). Just give it time.

Linda 😀

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 9:14 am

I do virtual plating All the time. Oops. I am going to follow your example and lay it all out, decide what I'm eating at the beginning.

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Wed Jan 13, 2016 3:41 pm

I have an A5 notebook in my kitchen. Before I go to bed every evening, I write down the next day's plan: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. If I need to plan more ahead and pack up food to-go, I also do that.

Three meals a day

B:
L:
D:

natj · Post by **natj** » Fri Jan 15, 2016 4:12 am

N Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- buttered light toast with an egg

L- low-carb hot and spicy slaw

D- 4 chicken fingers and a few cheese curds

N Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- none

L- 1/2 BLT Club sandwich; a handful of chips

D- Bacon cheeseburger; fries (SLIGHT FAIL- few sips of a vanilla milkshake)

Doing ok, although I inhaled my dinner. No breakfast (not on purpose); ate less than usual at lunch (was upset); then overate (although it all fit on a plate) at dinner.

Linda, thanks for reminding me to be patient with myself. I get irritated that I'm fat, mostly at parties, events, etc when I don't have cute clothes to wear. I just need to remember that if it's meant to be, it will happen. Right now, I'd just like to feel like I'm one of those people who has a healthy, almost nonchalant relationship with food. That is my REAL goal. I'm not saying I don't want to lose weight, because I do, but truly, I just want to be past this unhealthy relationship I have with food.

Wahine- let's check in on each other with this one. I'm curious to see how long it will take to get this habit down.

RawCookie- LOVE the notebook idea! Good way to cut down on any kind of anxiety around my meals.

natj · Post by **natj** » Sat Jan 16, 2016 3:13 am

N day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- none (too busy at work)

L- jimmy Johns sub and chips

D- 2 large slices of pizza

I over ate today. Although I technically am green, my plates were over filled and I ate way past fullness. This has been one of the toughest weeks of my career, and I am tired... Body and soul. That being said, I will give myself a break and keep on working on the habit.

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Jan 17, 2016 2:13 am

S Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- 3 slices bacon; 3 low-carb crepes

L- bruschetta; artichoke dip and bread; salad; spaghetti; couple bites of cake; chocolate covered strawberry (baby shower)

D- a few bites of pulled pork; a few pieces of cheddar cheese; pepperoni; chips and salsa: 2 glasses of wine

an Oreo

Unbalanced eating today. Need some meat and veggies tomorrow.

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Sun Jan 17, 2016 8:30 am

Enjoy your meat and veggies on Sunday. I've just finished my weekend and kind of wishing I ate foods that were a bit more nourishing so that I feel better now. Oh well. After all, tomorrow is another day...

Yep let's work on the plates. I have strong inclination to add extra fruit at the end of dinner if I feel my corners aren't quite filled. But I need to put the fruit there before I start eating or not have it.

natj · Post by **natj** » Mon Jan 18, 2016 2:41 am

S Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- none

L- small cup of chicken rice soup; grilled chicken salad (got my veggies!)

Piece of Oreo icebox cake

D- piece of buttered bread; 2 oreos; sunflower seeds; chicken finger

I feel kinda yucky. I didn't go too crazy this weekend, but had very unbalanced meal choices. Glad to have an N day tomorrow (although I know that means back to work... : ( which makes me bummed out). Just a few more months...

Wahine- back to focusing on plating tomorrow. Let's see if we can be green all week, especially in this area? I'm giving it a shot and will check in on you.

natj · Post by **natj** » Tue Jan 19, 2016 12:50 am

N Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- egg whites with light buttered english muffin

L- 1/2 ham sandwich; orange; 1 serving of cheetos

D- slow cooker pork chop; rice; cauliflower

low-cal mocha

So, good day today. Feels good to be back to N Days after this past weekend.

In addition to watching my plating, I am going to start truly moderating on N Days. My plan is to start moderating with breakfast this week, meaning keeping the calories lower to offset my heavier dinner. We'll see how this works. While it was fine today, I want to make sure that doing this does not make me want to rebel. Once I get that down, I will work on combining my coffee and lower calorie breakfast and then perhaps moderating a little more with lunch. I will most likely keep dinner as my largest meal. I know that "experts" would say things should be the opposite way (breakfast/lunch as the largest meals), but it's not how I live my life right now. Let's see how this goes- I will remain open and treat this is as an experiment.

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Tue Jan 19, 2016 9:17 am

I'd be starving on that breakfast and lunch, but if it works for you that's great.

Next time I go to the U.S. I'm going to have to find a supermarket and look at all these foods you guys have. "Oreo icebox cake"!

Looks like you had a fun weekend.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jan 20, 2016 1:17 am

Let me know how your experimenting goes. I heard the importance of the timing of when you eat is just a myth so wouldn't worry about having your biggest meal at dinner. I do that too because that's when I can really sit down & enjoy my food. Makes sense to me!

natj · Post by **natj** » Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:26 am

N Day
Coffee with cream and sugar

B- egg; buttered light toast

L- 3/4 serving panera mac n cheese; 1/2 turkey avocado sandwich

D- Salad; small cup of soup; bread; small latte

FAIL- was up late and was starving- ate wheat thins; then felt guilty and ate cookies

N Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

FAIL for Breakfast and Lunch- various sweets and junk food

D- Sloppy Joe "Pizza"

Last night's nonsense carried over into this morning. I felt restricted and tried to punish myself by skipping breakfast this morning to make up for my fail last night. I then got mad about "having to restrict myself" and did a "what the heck" and proceeded to eat a LOT for breakfast and lunch. I worked from home today and ate at the same time, zoning out and eating things like Cheez-its from the box, etc. Sigh. I was able to not snack in between lunch and dinner, so that's a good thing, but my impulse to eat in the face of any kind of restriction is almost scary. I am trying to balance the fact that this could be my animal brain giving my rational mind the "middle finger", but part of me thinks this is serious self destructive behavior and wonders why I react so belligerently. Deep rooted issues from childhood? Perhaps. Just a lot to think through.

Linda, thanks for comment on timing of meals. I think once I sort through all of this drama I'm having right now, I will be able to actually carry out my experiment. I'm not sure if my small breakfast started all of this yesterday, but I will probably revert to normal sizes for all three meals while I figure all of this out.

Wahine,

Your comment made me laugh! While we do have yummy things here in our US grocery stores, the oreo icebox cake was a recipe I found on Pinterest (not sure if you have that over there), but basically it's Oreos dipped in milk, layered between whipped topping and then frozen overnight. I added some vanilla pudding mixed in with the whipped topping and my husband and son LOVED it!

http://cookiesandcups.com/oreo-icebox-cake/

Let me know if you try it!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jan 21, 2016 3:48 am

Nat: Do you think you'd be willing to put weightloss on hold a few months and focus on habits? I just worry theres no skipping steps with no-s. I think I mentioned how HIGH my plates were piled for many months but I was incredibly strict with myself about my three meals. At some point my habit was so strong, I realized it wouldn't matter what I put on my plates, I would not stray. That's when I knew I was ready to tweak the what and how much of my plates.

You really will know when you are ready to play with what's on your plates but I don't think you can rush it. Just my 2 cents but of course I'm just really wanting you to be successful!

Let me know what you think!

Linda

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Thu Jan 21, 2016 8:52 am

Yes Pinterest reaches all over the world

I tend to look at the clothes more than the recipes but maybe I need to branch out.

Linda's advice sounds very wise. It's the long term view. Establish the habit first.

It is really good that you are here reflecting and not just off on a bender. I hope you find the right thing for you.

natj · Post by **natj** » Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:05 am

Coffee with cream and sugar

B-none (not on purpose)

L- 1 soft taco; 1 serving of taco fillings

D- sausage links; eggs and toast

a few pieces of chocolate covered blueberries; 1/2 mocha

Linda, thanks for your thoughts. I guess it has been hard to stay motivated since I've lost only a few lbs on No S for the past year. I figured that, by now, it had been enough time for me to get the habits down and then focus on some weight loss this year. I am feeling a little lost right now, and will just try and eat in a way that has as many No S habits as I can manage without craziness for that day.

Wahine,

Thanks for your added encouragement. I will say that even thought I had no plan about what to do today (I was feeling like giving up), habit drove me to eat 3 meals a day, on one plate each, but with some sweets. I guess this means that I have to work a little harder on the No sweets habit. Who knows. I'm just going to lick my wounds and keep moving forward as best I can for now.

By the way, Pinterest is awesome- While I also tend to look at the clothes more, they do have some interesting recipes!

natj · Post by **natj** » Sat Jan 23, 2016 12:52 am

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- light buttered english muffin with egg whites

L- leftover sloppy joe pizza; pineapple

D- bacon cheeseburger and cheese fries

Better today.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jan 23, 2016 2:34 am

Oh sorry nat. I guess I didn't realize you'd been at it so long. I get it. I was so frustrated at one point that I quit NoS for a bit (and promptly gained 5 lbs). Do you notice any weight loss when you have several green days in a row? Also, I can't remember if you are wanting to lose a little weight or a lot ?

Anyway I admire your persistence and know you'll find a way to make this work for you. (Yay for green day today!)

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Jan 24, 2016 3:07 am

S Day

B- 2 eggs; 2 pieces of bacon; 1 piece of buttered toast

L- chicken fried rice and mandarin chicken; handful of dark chocolate covered super fruits

D- slow cooker mac and cheese; 2 brownies and a couple of sips of milk

I am feeling a LOT better for the past few days since I've found an exercise to help me be more mindful during my meals. Basically, I log my hunger level and thoughts and feelings just before eating; and then log hunger level afterwards, with a few other thoughts (i.e. what I ate, hunger level, thoughts about stopping, thoughts/feelings, etc). It is making me much more conscious of how my body feels and I find myself actually paying attention while I eat. This is another habit I'd like to build this year. I believe this this one, paired with my 3 meals per day could help me trust myself again around food.

Linda,

I have been doing No S since the beginning of Jan 2015. I only started posting on the No S discussion board about 6 months into it. It has been very frustrating that I haven't lost much weight in the process as others have, but I have to believe that the habits I'm building will lead me to a healthier relationship with food. I also hope that it will translate to weight loss- at some point. So, that was a long winded way of saying, I do have a lot of weight to lose, about 40lbs (ironically, the amount you lost!), but I really just want to feel comfortable again in clothes. If that's only 30 lbs, I would probably be ok with that too. Anyway, thanks for listening and providing continual support- I appreciate it!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:54 am

Your day looks great. Now I realize why you're wanting to change things up a bit. I definitely know you feel. This is how felt too a year into it too. Super frustrating for sure. I'm happy to share what worked for me if you're interested but for now just know I'm pulling for you!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 1:04 am

S Day

B- 2 eggs; 2 sausage links; 1.5 pieces buttered toast

Snack: 2 brownies
L- Grilled porkchop; salad; green beans; a 2-bite scoop of smashed potatoes; 1 small slice of fresh-baked bread with butter. I ate only 2/3 of the pork chop.

Snacks for dinner: chips and salsa; 4 sugar wafers; mocha; sunflower seeds

Another not so crazy S day- they are finally starting to consistently calm down. It's taken about a year for that. Interesting.

Linda, again, thanks so much for the support. I would love to hear what has worked for you! I most likely will not try it out until I'm feeling a bit more stable in my habits and relationship with food, but it would still be valuable for me, so when I am ready, I could try it out! Any help/thoughts would be so appreciated.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jan 25, 2016 4:47 am

So glad you had another good S day. Mine have always been a bit over the top and only now calming down a bit. I imagine I still have some wild S days in my future as I tend to be predisposed to extremes.

I definitely get needing to wait to make changes till you're feeling in the right frame of mind and really I don't know that I have all that much to offer. Probably a lot of it was because of DH and his determination to lose weight/get in shape after is heart attack. I kind of rode on his coat tails. But the one thing I do know for sure is that once I started losing just a little weight, it really motivated me to lose more. Some times you just need to do whatever it takes to get the momentum going int the right direction.

Anyway, I'll pm you later if i can think of anything more so as not to take up to much space on your thread. Have a great Monday!

Linda

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Tue Jan 26, 2016 1:03 am

A year before the s days settle down? Good to know. I am feeling impatient at 5 weeks so I need a bit of a reality check obviously!

I will be really interested to see how it goes for you from now. Please keep posting!

natj · Post by **natj** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 4:08 am

N Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- egg whites and buttered light toast

L- lean cuisine and honeydew melon

D- Crockpot chicken, salad and rice (plate piled high)

Then... fail. Brownie, sugar wafers.

N Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B-egg whites; cottage cheese; buttered toast

L- leftover crockpot chicken; salad and rice
Then... fail. brownie; chips; sunflower seeds

D (late)- 1 soft taco

I'm not sure what is up with me. Yesterday's fail was most likely due to the fact that I didn't eat enough throughout the day, and by the time I got home, I was starving and scarfed down my food but still felt hungry... so I eat outside of meals and for a WTH effect, I eat sweets!

Today, I have no idea- work related maybe? Just don't know anymore. I feel helpless again and don't trust myself around food.

I will just continue trying to build my habits, but may try add a mod in between lunch and dinner, or I may just try to eat a little more? Who knows. I am confused, and bummed out, but will move onward. Not sure what else to do at this point.

Linda, thanks for your support and for your pm (it's my first one!). Going to go check it out now and will respond.

Wahine- yes, took a year for the S days to slow down. As I write this, I guess that is some progress that I need to acknowledge. The good news is that while I'm down only a few lbs, I am NOT up (no gains, even during Christmas and all of my fails lately). I will keep posting, although sometimes it's hard to post my failures : (

Anyway, I am glad it provides some perspective for you to consider. I wish I could provide much more positivity around the process. Hopefully I'll be able to soon.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 5:01 am

Big *Hugs* Push through this rough patch and I know you will end up somewhere good.

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:25 am

Look after yourself. Maybe think about giving yourself other non-food treats? Keep going!

natj · Post by **natj** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 1:56 am

N Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- 2 pieces organic toast with butter; 2 eggs fried in coconut oil (refined- thanks for the tip Linda!)

L- taco salad with left over taco meat from last night

D- Home made poverty meal (beef and macaroni)

Small fail- 2 gum balls

So, I did much better today. I ate more at each meal and didn't feel over hungry for the next. I also worked from home today and didn't have to deal with the intense hunger the last hour before I get home from work. As for tomorrow, when I'm back to the office (which is most days) I have a mod to help with this that I'm going to try- I am going to drink a coconut water on the way home. While it's sweetened, it's not too sweet and I think an acceptable mod for now. Let's see how it goes tomorrow- at least I have a plan. Either way, I need to realize that experimenting is ok and that I'm not always going to get it right. I just need to be kinder to myself when things don't work out and keep trying to find something that does work.

Linda, I can't thank you enough for your support. You are such an inspiration to me- I spent a little time on the earlier days of your thread and see that you went through all the things that a lot of us are going through now. You have come out on the other side and are STILL doing work on yourself, albeit not necessarily weight related. That alone teaches me that this is a life-long thing- not over just when we get to goal.

Wahine,

I appreciate your "reminder" to try and take care of myself some more. I need to build habits in that area too.

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Thu Jan 28, 2016 9:48 am

Glad you had a better day

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:52 am

Glad today went better.

I really admire your stick-to-itness! In the past I would start to just get fed up w/ NoS and the structure of it all. I'd usually rebel for a couple of days and then return to the only sanity I've ever had with eating. Today I had one of those fed up moments but I knew it was pointless to try anything else so I just grabbed a skinny mocha and waited for my next meal.

This is the only thing that works for me. Anyway, I can see you're much better at commitment than I am and I'm sure that's taken you far in life. It will take you far w/ NoS too. I'm certain you will find a way to tweak things that feel both comfortable and help you meet your goals.

Btw, I wouldn't have counted the gum balls but that's just me!

have a great Friday!

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:51 am

N Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- egg whites, buttered light toast

L- left over poverty meal with a piece of crusty bread; watermelon

Zico Chocolate Coconut Water

D- baked chicken; salad with ranch; mac n cheese

a handful of chocolate covered superfruits

Ok. Another good day. I ate more food for lunch and dinner, had a drink in between lunch and dinner so I wouldn't be starving for dinner, not to mention, I had some dark chocolate- FAIL? Oh well! No feelings of failure here. Just want to trust myself again around food and eating and I felt like I could today.

Linda,

Just want to say that I'm shocked that you don't see yourself as someone who is tenacious... In fact, that would be the exact way I would describe you!!!! Not only have you stuck with No S all these years (forget about the minor stops and starts), but you continue to work yourself internally, AND work on your marriage. Consider this message as officially looking into a mirror!

By the way, the gum ball comment cracked me up! I wondered whether I should include or not- I know what to do next time!

Wahine, thanks for stopping by and providing your continual support.

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Fri Jan 29, 2016 9:52 pm

Hi - I put a recipe for the raw brownie on my thread for you. Enjoy!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Jan 31, 2016 4:18 am

Thanks for your kindness! I guess it's mostly other things in life I don't stick to--jobs, friendships etc but I guess I should credit where credits due. I finished college and culinary school and stuck with a relationship for 25 years and of course amazingly I've stuck with NoS.

yay! Thanks for the reality check--you're the best!

Linda

natj · Post by **natj** » Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:03 pm

N Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- Egg whites; light buttered toast

L- ham sandwich on a pretzel slider roll; a few potato chips; sugar-free vanilla iced coffee with cream

D- pizza (plate piled high); wine

S Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- 3 slices of bacon; 3 low-carb crepes

L- salad; 1/2 patty melt; bloody mary

D- lots of sugar wafers; sunflower seeds; pretzels (overate throughout the night on snacks).. can't mess up on an S day, right?

S Day

Coffee with organic cream and sugar

B- 2 eggs with 2 slices of buttered organic toast; 1 piece of bacon

L- Crispy chicken sandwich; small fries; a few bites of a frosty

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Mon Feb 01, 2016 9:47 am

Yup. Can't mess up on an s day.

I'm not too sure if you can legitimately call sugar wafers and pretzels "dinner" exactly, but we know what you mean.

I find people give me strange looks when I put 4 pieces of pizza on my plate right at the start, even though they are definitely planning to eat the same in the end. I haven't worked out a strategy for this yet. I am not worried enough about it to actually take less pizza!

natj · Post by **natj** » Tue Feb 02, 2016 2:51 am

N Day

Coffee with cream and sugar

B- none (was too upset and busy to eat)

L- lean cuisine, carrots and ranch

V-8

D- lasagna; garlic bread; salad

hot mocha

Even though it was a terrible day at work, it was an ok day eating-wise.

Wahine, you crack me up! I agree on the plates piled high with pizza. While I'm slightly embarrassed, I still do it! Ha! And I agree- everyone gets there by going back for seconds and thirds anyway- LOL!

wahine · Post by **wahine** » Tue Feb 02, 2016 7:50 am

Sorry to hear you were so upset at breakfast. Hope tomorrow is a better day at work. Well done on the eating front.

Queenie · Post by **Queenie** » Tue Feb 02, 2016 6:48 pm

I find people give me strange looks when I put 4 pieces of pizza on my plate right at the start

I'm going to help a friend pack up her house this weekend, starting on Friday. There's a high probability that she'll order pizza for dinner on Friday.

Thank you, ladies, for "permission" to put four slices on my plate!

And you're exactly right, that's what I'd have ended up eating "normally."

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Feb 03, 2016 11:47 pm

Sorry about the bad day at work. Your eating looks good!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Feb 04, 2016 3:49 am

Hope the rest of your week is going a little better!

natj · Post by **natj** » Fri Feb 05, 2016 2:24 am

Hi All,

I just wanted to check in to say that I will be taking a break from posting for awhile. I'm not sure how long, but I just know that I've been struggling with posting lately. Perhaps I'll do a once a week check-in or no check-in at all, but in the meantime, just wanted to say thank you for all of your support and that I wish you all well!!!

Queenie · Post by **Queenie** » Fri Feb 05, 2016 2:35 am

Good of you to post and let everyone know that you're taking a break.

Will look forward to your occasional check-ins.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Feb 10, 2016 5:42 pm

Oh I missed this somehow & was starting to worry about you. Hope all is well!
Post when you can but only if you find it helpful.

Linda:)

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Feb 21, 2016 6:54 pm

I was just catching up! I'll wait to comment until we hear from you again.