Everyday Systems

the prize for the most 'off topic & sparodically updated' daily check-in goes to...

Hello again, fellow Nossers.

Wel, I'm afraid my rollercoaster ride still hasn't come to an end. 'Maybebaby' didn't make it either. I went for my first utrasound scan at approx 9 weeks and found out that the baby had died just after 6 weeks, but my body obviously didn't realise it. The doctors attempted to reset things with tablets, but they didn't have the intended effect & I ended up in the emergency room of the hosptial on a Sunday morning for a D&C, having lost nearly 3 liters of blood.

As this was my 3rd miscarriage (in addition to the death of my daughter Katie, who I carried to term but had extremely serious heart defects) they have tested me to see if there is a reason why this keeps happening. All the tests came back clear though, so all I can do is roll the dice again & keep rolling, so see what we get next time.

I've already eliminated just about every possible risk factor from my life, apart from my weight. There is a strong correlation between recurrent miscarriage and body mass index, so with this as the best possible motivation, I've gotten back onto the Nossing wagon.

This time, I'm really serious. I'm doing a slightly modified version, where instead of sticking to S days No-S days, I'm allowing myself a total of 2 treats per week, and they have to be declared at least 24 hours in advance, and planned. That means if I really want an icecream sundae, it's fine, but I have to plan it at least the day before.

Apart from that, it's the standard rules. No snacks, No sweets, No second helpings.

I've also upped my exercise. I'm doing a 10 minute mini-workout every other day, and I'm taking the stairs instead of the lift, doing lots of nice long walks & cycle rides in the evenings instead of flopping in front of the telly. The weather is really working with me on this - it's been glorious & sunny summer weather pretty much constantly for the last month.

So far, it's working very well. I'm down approx 1kg every week for the last 5 weeks. I only have 1kg more to go until I get my BMI below 30 (then I shall be Obese no more!) & I'm already a kilo below where I was when I conceived Katie, so that's a good psychological boost.

The doctors would like me to lose another 20kg, ideally, but are happy for me to try to conceive again already. Obviously, the lower the better, but I just don't have a year to spare to diet sensibly & lose those 20kg. Sensible dieting is also the only way forward - it's a point in my favour that I'm otherwise very healthy.

So there you have it. An update on my life at present.
I will try to come back & let you know how I'm doing a little more often.
love C. xxx

CaroleJo, I am so sorry that you've been through such loss. (I lost two, both around 8-12 weeks, and was devastated both times. My heart goes out to you.)

Hope that No-S supports your weight loss, and that it has the desired effects.

Please be here a lot - there is always a lot of support to be found.

Best wishes!!!!!!

KCCC

Hi Carolejo,
I'm so sorry about your loss. I wish you the best of luck with your future. If it's not too personal to ask, you said

Obviously, the lower the better, but I just don't have a year to spare to diet sensibly & lose those 20kg.

And I was wondering why that was. It sounds like you've been having wonderful success so far. Keep up the great work.

Hi Shannah,

no, not too personal a question at all! It's just that being pregnant is not compatible with losing weight. Of course it *is* compatible with sensible eating (which I always do when I'm pregnant anyway) but as I'll be 35 soon, I just don't feel as if I want to wait a whole year & focus on weightloss before I try to get pregnant again. Afterall, I have no idea how long it will take before I manage to get a 'sticky' one. Yes I've managed to lose about a kg a week for the last 6 weeks, but that's actually a very agressive weightloss - I'm not aiming for 'quick wins' here, what the scale says is incidental (merely the easiest of the various flawed methods we have for judging progress), I'm after FAT LOSS. A kg of human fat has nearly 8000 calories in it! To burn that in a week due to eating less & doing more is a phenomenal task!!

For now, it will just have to be good enough *not* to be Obese anymore. I'll just have to live with the fact that being grossly overweight is not ideal for fertility or risk of miscarriage either... it's just the best I can do.

It's hard to have to admit it, but the only risk factor left is my weight. It looks increasingly likely that the reason I keep miscarrying is because I'm too fat.

Talk about motivation to do something about it, though...
C. xxx

Carolejo,
I can definately relate to you about the age thing. There is alot of pressure-I think from the media-around the age 35. They make it seem like if you don't get pregnant before that you can forget it. I feel the time pressure myself. On the other hand I was talking to my doctor a few months ago and she seemed to think the 35 thing wasn't a big deal and that you actually have more time than that. Of course, I'm sure you've gotten alot of advice on that from your doctors already.

I think you are doing a great job. Not only is your weight loss impressive, you are doing it in a smart way for your health and for your baby. It seems to be an ideal situation to me.

Thanks for sharing,
Shannah

Carolejo,

If it's any comfort on the age thing, my only son was born when I was 44. (We had given up by then, so he was a "happy surprise"!)

Yes, there are some added risks, and you're VERY smart to lose weight (I wasn't overweight when I got pregnant)...just hope this info will help you to feel a little less pressured by time.

KCCC

Hi Carolejo - I am so sorry that you've had such a difficult time. I hope things start to get better for you. You sound positive and determined - and that can only help you. Take care of yourself and keep us up-to-date x

Carolejo -- I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. I've miscarried a couple of times and, as KCCC said of her experiences, was devastated. My heart goes out to you ...

Also, as others have mentioned, I think it is becoming increasingly common for women to start their families in their mid 30s onwards, at least where I live. Many of my friends IRL were over 35 and into their 40s when they had their child(ren.) In fact, though I was 27 when my only child was born, I often feel like a "young mom" ... Time is still on your side!

Sending lots of weight loss & baby dust wishes your way,

Hello again everyone.

Well, I'm still doing OK in the grand scheme of things as far as NoS goes, but I've really been struggling these past couple of days. It seems so stupid, given everything that is at stake here - the last thing I want is to sabotage myself, so why am I drawn towards an armful of marshmallows...?!

I think perhaps I tried to cut it down too much & make my meal portions too small, so I was fighting with myself the whole time.

The other thing that's driving me a bit nuts is the fact that, after 3 months of clockwork body cycles, everything seems to be out of whack with this one. I know it's probably just the stress & I need to chill out - so much easier said than done!

Oh well. Onwards & Upwards (or should that be 'downwards' in terms of weight...?)

Thank you so much for all your messages of support. I've missed this board - really should come back here more often!
C. xxx

I thought you might like to know that today I'm wearing a pair of trousers that I've owned for 6 years...

...I'm wearing them for the first time since I moved to the Netherlands, 5 years ago! I am finally the right size to fit into them again!

W000t w000t!!!!
C. xxx

Carolejo,

That's terrific news. Wow, if I could fit into all the clothes I've had in my closet that long, I could probably wear a different outfit everyday for six months without repeating!

Hang in there--see it's really working and you're going to get yourself so healthy and on track you won't even know yourself!

Hello again lovely Nossers,

I lost that final KG to put me in the 'Overweight' category, and therefore I am NO LONGER OBESE!!!

Go me! Go me! Go me!!!

This is very exclamation-mark-worthy!!!!!!!!!

I was especially pleased with myself on Wednesday evening because I was away at a work party with free bar & a really posh all-you-can-eat BBQ. I stuck to sparkling water with ice & lemon all night & didn't cave in to the sodas at all. (I'm currently effectively Tee-total, because Alcohol takes whatever mood I'm in & enhances it 200-fold. I had a couple of glasses of wine a month or so back, when I thought I was doing well, but the results were really NOT pretty! With all the stuff I've been going through these last couple of years, it's really better for all concerned if I just DON'T GO THERE for now). I had 1 PLATE of BBQ food, and it was a good & balanced plate with salad, pasta salad, couscous & the meats. I ignored the sausages & burgers & went instead for chicken & steak.

Today I'm cooking up a big vat of beef in beer, using up the 'dregs' from our own homebrew as the cooking sauce. Mmmm Mmmmm! It smells so good!

Hope you are all well.
love C. xxx

The trousers I posted about on 15th July - well, I'm wearing them today again.

Guess what? I just found out I can take them on & off without undoing them! Give it another week at this rate, and they'll be TOO BIG for me already!!!!

Mad, but fun, dontchathink...?!

C. xxx

Carolejo, I missed your earlier NO LONGER OBESE post (which is truly exclamation-point-worthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and just saw the last one, where you're getting ready to join the "my pants fell down" club.

WAY TO GO!!!!

You are doing so well! Woo-hoo!!!

Hello everyone,

This is just to let you know, the last 2 days my (very early) pregnancy tests have been positive! Very faint, but unmistakable lines.

For some reason, I can't seem to get my head around it all, properly. Normal service will resume shortly, I hope. I'll also post a longer entry with some more details of what's going on in my head a bit later on this week, when I've worked it out myself!

So, please go forth & celebrate! Even if it all ends again tomorrow, we owe it to little baby 'Fiver' to give him or her our best wishes & most positive thoughts. 5th time lucky? I hope so.

Love to all.
A somewhat shell-shocked Carole.

C. xxx

Fantastic new Carolejo. I've got everything crossed

Still hanging in there. *fingers crossed*

oddly, my weight is still going down, although I'm actively NOT trying to do anything about it now I'm pregnant.

Still, if I can sit out the first trimester without gaining much if anything, that has to be a good thing, right?

But don't worry. I won't be going without!
C. xxx

I can now report that today I had an ultrasound scan, at 6 weeks 3 days. I have a little baby on board with a little beating heart!

So far so good, everything looks just perfect.

There's a long way still to go of course, and no guarantees, but this is certainly a most excellent beginning.

love to all!
C. xxx

Oh Carolejo!! This is very wonderful sounding news!!! :
I pray that all stays well and you have a healthy baby!!!
I am not on here checking on threads that often, so sorry for not seeing this earlier. Will keep checking for updates! Please give Steve my best and hugs to you both!
Love
Debs

Hello!!

Thanks for your reply, Deb.

Today I went to see the regular midwife for the first time. It was lovely - she was sooooo pleased to see me, she was practically dancing round the room in glee!

She gave us another quick scan, straightaway we could see baby Fiver WAVING its arms & legs at us! 9 weeks & 2 days today. Size-wise, also perfect. We listened to the heartbeat too, all good so far.

Nothing much to do except keep on trucking, keep fingers & toes crossed & 'push my thumbs' (what they do for 'luck' in Germany & the Netherlands).

It really helps to have such excellent medical folks looking after us.
love C. xxx

In Austria, we are pressing our thumbs for luck as well.

I am doing it right now for you

What wonderful news!!! Sorry I missed it earlier, but very happy to see it now.

Congratulations - Enjoy every moment of a very, very special time in your life.

All great news Carolejo!!!
Much love and positive thoughts as always!!!
Debs xxx

20 week scan was yesterday, and we have a totally clean bill of health!!! All the right bits are attached in the right places & everything is working properly.

Baby Fiver is definitely a little boy - he's not shy about flashing his wedding tackle & was certainly letting it all hang out in there.

Steve & I have named him already. He is called Daniel Aiden Parkinson.

From now on, I'm just a normal, healthy, pregnant person, expecting a normal healthy baby boy on 10th April next year. This is something new for us, as I'm sure regular readers will appreciate.

I've never been so happy to be NORMAL in all my life!
love C. xxx

Just a quick note to say, nearly 30 weeks pregnant now & everything still going well.

I've recently developed a chocolate addiction, which I really should try to restict, but apart from that, nothing of note to report.

Greetings to all, and thanks for all your good wishes,
love C. xxx

Brilliant news. Well done!

Hello!

Daniel Aiden David Parkinson has just turned ONE! Born 13th April 2011, at 10lb 2oz, on his Grandad's birthday (hence the extra 'David'). The doctors were worried he might have blood sugar issues (panicked cos he was so big) but there was no such problem, no gestational diabetes or anything difficult, he just grew very well

I'm now pregnant AGAIN for the 6th time - about 10 weeks in & so far so good. 'Six' was waving at me on the screen when I had my last scan on Wednesday (weekly checks, recurrent miscarriage care, etc etc - they are looking after me very well indeed).

I'm actually still breastfeeding Daniel, so that's 500 extra calories needed per day for making milk, on top of the 300 extra for being pregnant... can hardly cram enough food in to keep me going & my weight is still slowly going down at a steady, healthy 1/2 pound per week or so. Daniel & my combined weight is currently a couple of pounds LESS than my weight when I conceived him, and he weighs more than 25 pounds!!!

I'm becoming ever more convinced that my weight WAS a significant factor for the miscarriages. It's not something any of us like to hear, but they did all the tests & found nothing wrong, so weight was the only remaining risk factor - take that out of the equation & suddenly everything seems to go much better.

Anyhow, greetings to those who remember me. Greetings to the newer folk who don't, and happy NOSSing.

love C. xxx