TexArk's Daily Check In

[TexArk]

SUCCESS because it is an S Day

I still have my cold with sneezing fits and naps off and on. No exercise.

I had a banana for breakfast, beef stew and crackers for lunch, crackers and almond butter as an afternoon snack, and ice cream for supper.

You would think since I have no appetite I wouldn't be eating, but I tend to turn to food thinking it will make me feel better. Actually, the ice cream did! But this is an S day and it is OK. I will get back on track in the morning and I am sure I will feel better by then. Going to work because I have to also changes my outlook.

I have read several posts from people upset with the scale. Since I will be doing my monthly weigh in next week I have to prepare my mindset. I really think that my S days are too calorie laden right now for me to be doing anything but maintaining, but I feel really good about the N days. Today I felt somewhat at loose ends and I realized this is the way it used to be every day. I really look forward to the S days calming down. I think I am about there. I like the post that shows how many S days we have over the next 6 months. There are plenty of opportunities to try all those foods that we have denied ourselves for years.

So off to an early bedtime and a week of green days ahead.

[apomerantz]

Happy N Day, TexArk!

I hope you are feeling a little better this morning. I have asore throat, but no other symptoms. Sigh.

I hope your weigh in doesn't disappoint you. I know I have the same issue - - too much eating on S days still. But I still feel No S can and will ultimately work for me. And even if it doesn't, at least I'm maintaining and not gaining - - which is an improvement given how much I'm eating and how happy I am eating it.

But I'm still holding out hope for No S being a weight loss plan as well as a habit.

[TexArk]

FAILURE

I did OK all day until supper. My excuse is I had to go to a funeral after work and could not prepare supper until 8:00. I started eating my chicken portion as I was cooking cornbread and then ate extra portions of Mexican cornbread when it was ready.

Lesson learned: I should have just stopped for an appropriate carry out or fast food on the way home. My resistance was just too low to handle food and cook and wait. I am used to eating by 6:00. I also did not get in any exercise today. My cold is somewhat better so I plan to get back on the exercise routine tomorrow.

Reminder to self: That is 2 failure days out of 59 total days. That is 57 success days including S days. That is a grade of 96.6% I want to keep my high A.

Warning to self: My last S days and today at supper felt more like my old out of control self. I am going to lay it on being sick, not exercising, and looking for love in all the wrong places! So back to strick vanilla NoS the rest of the week for me. Firm up the habit.

[Anne]

I know from my own experience that reporting a failure is not easy, but you are being honest with yourself, and that's a good thing.

Hang in there. As you said, this is only one little setback in a long line of successes. To use my own analogy, the little child fell down but is standing back up and learning to walk again!

[apomerantz]

Ok, your failure sounds like EXACTLY something that would happen to me. You are human, and I admire the fact that you owned up to the failure right away and up front. You know what caused it, and you even have a good idea to remedy it next time.

I KNOW that in that exact same circumstance, I'd have ended up in the same situation. There is just so long I can go without food - - and then the preparation of the food would just be too torturous not to pick.

But you've been doing so well so I hope you are being kind to yourself and just letting that one day float away.

[TexArk]

Reporting a SUCCESS (even though the day isn't over) I'll edit if I mess up!

Much better day. I feel poochy after the last 3 days though.
Breakfast: banana (Not really hungry--a clue that I overate last night!)
Lunch: boiled egg, veg soup, cornbread
Afternoon: coffee
Supper: something fast--maybe tuna or grilled cheese

Exercise: 15 minute weight training/15 minute outdoor walk

[apomerantz]

You won't mess up .

There's an interesting discussion of cereal going on in the main forums, and apparently the cereal I've been eating all month is "borderline" sweet.

LOL!!

I don't know - - it didn't taste like a dessert to me so I figured it was just fine. Now I'm a little unsure how to proceed with it - - keep eating it, save it for weekends, or what.

[TexArk]

SUCCESS

I was hungry for all meals and they each looked and tasted great.

Breakfast: Canadian bacon, boiled egg, Ezekiel toast (dry) 1 dried plum
Lunch: Veg Soup, 2 cornbread squares, cheese stick
Supper: Turkey Pot Pie, tomato and avocado salad with EVOO

Exercise: 30 minute walk outside and inside stair climbing

It is Wednesday night cookie time again, but I have already posted a succesful day and I will not imbibe!

[blue]

You are very inspiring

[TexArk]

SUCCESS

3 smallish plates
Breakfast: egg, dry toast, avocado slices
Lunch: egg, cheese, Triscuits, tomato, apple
Supper: tuna w/mayo,vegetables, cheese

20 minute workout with weights
No walk today

I will have completed 2 months on NoS by Saturday. I suspect that will be a time of reflection and goal setting. But for now I have one more NoS day to conquer. I haven't been as hungry, but that has me somewhat worried. Does that mean I am eating too much at each meal? Or am I eating more fat? Or has my appetite shrunk? I am hoping for the last choice.

[TexArk]

SUCCESS

And S days are on the horizon...

I had three normal plates with more vegetables than usual. They are beginning to appeal to me again.

A walk from campus to the grocery store and then to a strip mall and a bank. I had to dodge traffic--no sidewalks, but it was a nice day and I got some purposeful exercise.

Tomorrow will be a dayof reflection and planning for a new month. Today completes 2 months of NoS.

One of my goals is to learn how to add color to my posts. All I get is the code for the color or emoticon!!

[apomerantz]

Congrats on two months of No S!!!! And two pretty darn awesome months I might add.

I will admit to being curious about how your weight loss goes . . .I seem to be kinda maintaining myself right now. But my body feels different to me . . .so I think maybe it is changing in a positive way despite the scales.

[Anne]

Good luck with you wheigh-in day tomorrow. Whatever happens, keep in mind that you have won many victories in the past two months. I really admire your strength!
Can't wait to read your colorful posts!

[TexArk]

END OF MONTH TWO ON NOS

Here are my musings and goals after completing two months of NoS:

I did weigh in this morning at 168 which is a loss of 2 pounds for this month. That is quite amazing, but I believe it is real because I am wearing a pair of jeans that were a bit too snug a month ago. My stair climbing may also be helping in that regard.

The reason this is amazing is that I really have not denied myself foods I wanted to eat on N days as long as they were not sweet. I have added butter to my foods; I have had plenty of olive oil on my salads; I have had some fatty meats; I have had carby meals; I have not had as many vegetables as I know I should; My S days have been full of sweets.

But...here is what I have learned and some changes that have happened.

The first major change is of course what we all have found out. Food tastes better when you are hungry. Cooking real food is fun as opposed to cooking fake food. Eating with other people instead of abstaining or bringing your own food is normal. Not counting and restricting is real freedom. After month two I am for the first time not having any struggle turning down sweets on N days and I am not thinking about eating between meals even though sometimes the hunger is strong. These were major problems before NoS. After 2 months I am finally interested in eating salads and vegetables again. I really got burned out after years of rabbit food.

My last struggle is with the desire for seconds; my two failures were when I would begin to eat before my plate was fixed and eat while cleaning up, which is basically the same as having seconds.

S days are interesting. I just let them happen and haven't really set any guidelines for them. On Saturday I usually plan the week's meals based on the grocery ads and what is in the freezer, do bulk cooking, and shop for groceries. We rarely eat out so I do a lot of cooking. I am also sort of a tightwad. I shop for bargains. That means I am thinking about food, handling food, choosing food, etc. most of the day. And...I nibble and eat all day. I really prefer N days, but this S day seems to be really necessary. It seems each Saturday morning for breakfast I end up eating some sweet that has been in the house for a few days. Evidently there must be a clandestine place in my brain where it has been hiding, just waiting for an S day to appear. I also seem to want to eat chips or crackers just because I can--just for today they do not have to be doled out on my plate. And I do not have 3 sit down meals.

Now the second S day is usually much calmer. There is a little more structure to Sunday because of worship services. I don't eat all day like I do on Saturday, and the sweet attack is usually over. It really is very close to an N day with maybe a little something extra or special. I think I will begin to lose a little more weight as my Saturdays become more like my Sundays. I think it will happen naturally because my sweet cravings are getting less and less. And I have about run out of those special foods that I haven't eaten for years and want to try again. I am not going to set any goals for S days because I believe they will take care of themselves.

EXERCISE:
I am in awe of all of you runners! I have never been a runner. It has always hurt, even as a young, slender, healthy girl! I remember setting a goal to run a mile (without stopping to walk) before my 30th birthday. I did it and hated every minute. I haven't run since. I walk fast--15 minute miles, but no running.

This month I gave up my health club membership because I just could not get there due to my work schedule and because my attitude about it all was negative. I just don't like treadmills and machines. I need to be outside and going somewhere. I felt too much like the hamster in the cage on a wheel. I would look around the gym and think, "Wouldn't it be great if we could harness all this energy and use it for something!" I also don't really enjoy the classes--except yoga and I can't make it fit my schedule.

So...I have started walking at least 30 minutes each day somewhere. I have walked across our campus, climbed stairs, walked to the post office, the library, the grocery store, the bank, etc. This is not really walking friendly territory--no sidewalks much of the time and sometimes not much shoulder on the road, but I am making it work. I also keep a yoga mat in my office and I have one 10 lb. kettle bell I mess around with. I have locked the door and done floor exercises for 14 minutes.
This is my goal for March: Add 14 minutes of weight training, yoga, or floor exercises to the 30 minutes of walking. I am adding the 14 minutes to my HabitCal for N days.

One final thought:
I only intended to report in for the first 21 days, but I have found that I need the daily check in. Maybe this comes from years of dieting and journaling. As I change one habit to another, I am not going to meetings, journaling food, counting calories or points, but I do feel the need to be accountable. And it does help me to see how others are doing as well. So I think I will be here for awhile.

Thanks to those who have been encouraging the past 2 months. I hope I can be a little bit of help to you, too.

[Anne]

I am very happy to hear that you’ll be here for a while because I enjoy reading your posts and seeing your progress. You always seem to be a few steps ahead of me with the diet and I aspire to walk in your footsteps (English?!).

Thinking of you this morning, I decided to weigh myself as well. My weight hasn’t changed, but I expected it because of my failure days.

Congratulations on losing 2 pounds this months ! I’m so glad to see that you are on the right track and that you have something to show for it!

[TexArk]

SUCCESS

Yesterday was a calm S Day. 3 normal plates.
Guests for coffee and huge muffins after a symphony concert.

Today:
avocado slices, banana, buttermilk
egg, split pea soup, Ez. bread, cheese stick
cube steak, cornbread, mixed vegetables/few potato slices

Exercise:
30 minute walk
Yet to do: 14 minute weights and/or yoga

Mentally ready for 5 green days to start off month 3

[apomerantz]

Congratulations on your weigh in!!! You've done the work and now you've got the payoff. I'm really pleased for you .

I loved your "blog" about your experience and what you've learned. It's definitely motivating to read.

And, I, too, would miss your posts if you didn't check in daily so I am so happy to hear you are going to be doing that.

Pat yourself on the back for me!!!

[Kathleen]

Congratulations! It's great to have your perspective because of your years of trying different types of diets. There is such freedom with this diet.
Kathleen

[TexArk]

Easy N Day

Breakfast: egg, Ezekiel toast, ICBINB spray
Lunch: cup of Split Pea Soup, Cornbread, Cheese Stick, Egg, Apple slices
Supper: 8 inch. thin pizza with veggies, chicken, cheese

30 minute walk
will get my 14 minutes in later--after a univ. concert to go to this p.m. Since I have posted, I will do it!

Wore a pair of pants today that had been too snug. That is more rewarding to me than any number on a scale.

[TexArk]

Another good N Day - SUCCESS
Breakfast: cubed steak, banana
Lunch: split pea soup, cornbread, cheese stick
Supper: turkey pot pie

Exercise - FAILURE
Had work or meetings from 7:30 a.m. until 9:30 p.m.- no walk or 14 min.

[TexArk]

Thinking about upcoming S days....Saturdays have been one big all day meal--an abuse of freedom the last two or three weekends. Sundays have been more structured...

Here are some ideas after rereading Reinhard's Podcast on S Days Gone Wild...

My Plan for S Days:
Prerequisite for making any adjustments to S Days: If the N days are not habit, then don't try to work on S days yet. S days have no meaning w/o a solid N Day habit. Since I have only had 2 failures in over 2 months on N days I am ready to work on the following :

"Freedom Abuse" Correction for my Saturday S Days:
Use basic single plate 3 meal structure
Add conscious reward
Answer the question: Will I REALLY enjoy this?
Presentation must be nice.
No sneaking. I will eat my S-events in front of others and freely post them here.
Sweets should come after a meal (a should, but not a rule). I think this will help the "sweet bingeing."
Post on my "check in" all S-events (all snacks, sweets, or seconds)

Edited to clear up ideas for others who might be reading. I know what was in my head as I typed, but I could tell it was not clear after reading LA's post.

[la_loser]

Sounds to me that if you can wear pants you could't (or shouldn't!) wear before that you really are on track. . . It took me a lot longer to reach that point!

If I'm understanding what you're saying that if you mess up on N days, you're not going to take an S day? Or maybe that's not what you meant so I'd be careful about messing too much with your S days. In that same podcast, Reinhard really warns against eliminating S days as a way of punishment for messing up on N days.

Otherwise, your Freedom Abuse mods sound smart. I like Reinhard's mod about counting S events to keep us on track.

But again, I will go back and repeat--pants that fit are awesome. One of our members will tell you to be gentle with yourself and I agree. You've been doing this less than three months and gotten the hang of it pretty well, I think!

By the way, we were in the northern area of your state last weekend for a little trout adventure (White River, Mountain Home area). Gosh, the damage from the ice storm was so devastating-it looked just like our area did a year ago. Hope you came through ok.

[Thalia]

I like the "nice presentation" mod very much -- I think I'll adopt that too! I've been looking for a pretty vintage china plate for my at-work lunches, so I am eating on my N-days from fine china instead of tupperware, kind of the same principle ...

I agree that How the Pants Fit is by far the most useful metric. And the most satisying -- a number on a scale is abstract and private, but looking FINE in your pants is a very tangible payoff!

[TexArk]

Hey, L.A. glad to see you back on the board. And yes, the ice storm was devastating. It missed us by just 5 miles to the north.

And..I am most definitely not giving up any S days or substituting for "bad" N days or playing any kind of mind games. I have the N days down very well. I was just repeating Reinhard's warning that we shouldn't worry about S days at all if we don't have the N days down. So for anyone who might be reading this, I just wanted them to know that I have a good record of N days. So don't try any "control" at all until the N days are in place.

My Saturdays have just been out of control, non structured and borderline binges. All I am going to try this weekend is to put into place exactly what Reinhard suggests in his podcast. I am going to have my 3 plate meal structure and whatever I add on to that (and I can and will add whatever I want) I will be more aware of--Is this something I really want? Why would I sneak eat it then? Make the presentation attractive. Am I willing to record all the S-events? I also want to try having sweets after meals (not a rule though) instead of starting off the day with whatever is in the house and eating my way through the day. A nice dessert after supper...a multi course meal at a restaurant...second helpings of that wonderful casserole...a snack of chips and dip. S days should be enjoyed. That has happened on my Sundays, but the Saturdays have been uncomfortable and an abuse of freedom.

As for the pants....they are not a size smaller. I am not there yet. But they are jeans that are fitting looser and therefore I feel more fit and trim. I am still committed to Vanilla NoS. I am just wanting to be more aware of my S days so I can enjoy the treat.

[TexArk]

Thursday was a Success for NoS and 30 min Walk, but a Failure for 14 min. workout.

Friday has been a Success for NoS, 30 min Walk and 14 minute workout
It has been fairly easy...I have drunk lots of H2Orange

Tomorrow my S day goal is to concentrate on 3 plate meals. I haven't thought yet of a special treat, but daughter is coming in for Spring Break so I will be able to enjoy a treat with her. Lasagna is already prepared and French bread and garlic butter sound good. Maybe a walk to get an ice cream ...we'll see.

My goal is to log in my S events.

[la_loser]

I'm glad to hear that you aren't having to get your exercise by toting fallen limbs!

Enjoy your daughter's visit-I hope you find some excellent delicacies to enjoy together.

We went to a little downtown "homestyle" restaurant in Mountain Home where I bought a whole pie to take back to our trout guys. . . it was similar to the buttermilk pie my grandmother used to make but they called it a vinegar pie (similar to a chess pie-lots of butter and eggs and sugar I'm sure.) What really sold me was that the owner's 80 year old made it. She told us that her mother makes all of the pies for them-without a recipe, of course. It was divine!

Have a lovely break.

[TexArk]

Goals met:
3 meals
Thoughtful decisions

Goals not met:
Presentation wasn't so attractive!

I shopped all morning for groceries and prepared items for the freezer and menus for the week. Nothing really appealed to me in the sweet category. How strange is that? After planning all week long for handling sweets on Saturday I really did not want any!! And I really thought about it. I looked through my recipes and at each grocery store bakery, but nothing really rang my bell. I did buy some coffee ice cream for tomorrow.

I had a 2 bite iced brownie from the "sample lady" at the grocery store and did have 3 slices of hot, fresh cinnamon streusel quick bread midafternoon.

I did notice that my meals were smaller. I think I fixed smaller plates because I knew I could have a snack later if I wanted. I obviously was interested in carbs, but just not a big sugarfest.

Breakfast: 2 egg cheese omelet and Fiber 1 cereal with 2% milk
Lunch: 3 small Cajun style chicken tamales, cashew pieces, grapes, milk
Supper: 1 boiled egg, cheese stick, and 2 soft pretzels--spread out over an hour--more of a snacky supper

Midmorning snack: 2 bite brownie
Afternoon snack: 3 slices of cinnamon streusel bread

No official exercise, but I did shop at 3 grocery stores, 1 drugstore, and 1 dollar store, hauled it all home, and unloaded. I am so much more inspired to cook now that I have been set free.

[apomerantz]

I'm following along here Tex-Ark! I like your ideas for the S days - - though it seems like a lot of concepts to implement at once (for me).

I'm going to adopt some of the ideas too if you don't mind. I'm definitely going to stick to the three plate structure - - which truthfully I really have been doing all along.

But the one that appeals to me the most and is really the simplest, is the "no sneaking" rule. I SO do this. And if I actually put all 9 pieces of chocolate on a plate, there is no way I'd eat it. So essentially, if I'm going to eat it, I'm going to insist it is on a serving dish and that I'm eating it normally (as opposed to digging a spoon into the gallon of ice cream 20 times in a row when no one is watching and the container is still in the FREEZER.

Let me know how it goes for you. I'm having a really good weekend for some reason. But I haven't had any treats really. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I have been drinking diet soda which I miss all week long - - maybe that's satiating my sweet tooth??

[apomerantz]

I'm following along here Tex-Ark! I like your ideas for the S days - - though it seems like a lot of concepts to implement at once (for me).

I'm going to adopt some of the ideas too if you don't mind. I'm definitely going to stick to the three plate structure - - which truthfully I really have been doing all along.

But the one that appeals to me the most and is really the simplest, is the "no sneaking" rule. I SO do this. And if I actually put all 9 pieces of chocolate on a plate, there is no way I'd eat it. So essentially, if I'm going to eat it, I'm going to insist it is on a serving dish and that I'm eating it normally (as opposed to digging a spoon into the gallon of ice cream 20 times in a row when no one is watching and the container is still in the FREEZER.

Let me know how it goes for you. I'm having a really good weekend for some reason. But I haven't had any treats really. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. I have been drinking diet soda which I miss all week long - - maybe that's satiating my sweet tooth??

[TexArk]

Anita,
Well, I tried to pick up the quote, but I am too computer challenged I guess. But I laughed outloud at your description of your sneak attacks. It reminded me of the time my husband bought two big tubs of cookie dough from the kids next door. I put them in the freezer and in 2 days one whole tub was gone and it never left the freezer. I wonder how that happened???

I liked your original thought about postponing the sugar until after 5:00, but I knew that was too strict a rule for me. What worked for me yesterday was to have the 3 plates and wait on the sweets. For some reason, I really did not want any. I bought some coffee ice cream which is still in the freezer for next weekend. The only real sweet I had was a sample brownie at the market and a little honey on an English muffin. Oh yes, the quick bread would have had sugar, too. BUT nothing like tons of chocolate candy, ice cream, half a pie, etc.

I really did much better. I think the 3 plates helped. I still have gone over the top on breads, but I think that will settle down also. There really are so many foods I have denied myself for a long time. Every weekend I want to try some recipe that I have thought about. I think now that I know that I can have these, the appeal will dull somewhat. I know I am maintaining and maybe losing slowly, but until I do settle down on S days I won't be losing much. But...the success is that I am not gaining and my N days are great.

So bottom line: No rules were added to S days except 3 plates and no sneaking, and really think about sweets before eating.

[apomerantz]

You must be motivating me because I had the best weekend since starting No S. By far. Oddly, it sounds extremely similar to yours. I did three meals. I didn't snack. It was a tad heavy on the bread (especially last night). I had one bowl of ice cream for sweets and that was after dinner on Sunday night. Otherwise I didn't have any, and honestly I didn't really feel the need.

So, YAY for us!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, ideas, and experiences here. Somehow I obviously feel simpatico, and knowing that you are trying these changes is helping me.

This is my lowest Monday weigh in so far. So I'm hopeful that I might see some changes on the scale if these S days get under control.

Also, I can really really really relate to what you are saying about the forbidden foods. I must say there were soooooo many that I am wanting to try them all. I can't tell you how many bagels I've eaten since starting no S because I've missed those so much. But interestingly, now I am starting to meander back to some of my lower calorie foods that I did enjoy. We went to Wendy's the other night on our long, long drive home from Toronto, and I had a small chili and baked potato - - something I'd have had in my dieting days. But I really do enjoy those and saw no reason to go for the burgers just because I can.

At any rate, thanks again for sharing your ideas! And LOL on the cookie dough ice cream. So glad it isn't just me!!

[apomerantz]

You must be motivating me because I had the best weekend since starting No S. By far. Oddly, it sounds extremely similar to yours. I did three meals. I didn't snack. It was a tad heavy on the bread (especially last night). I had one bowl of ice cream for sweets and that was after dinner on Sunday night. Otherwise I didn't have any, and honestly I didn't really feel the need.

So, YAY for us!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, ideas, and experiences here. Somehow I obviously feel simpatico, and knowing that you are trying these changes is helping me.

This is my lowest Monday weigh in so far. So I'm hopeful that I might see some changes on the scale if these S days get under control.

Also, I can really really really relate to what you are saying about the forbidden foods. I must say there were soooooo many that I am wanting to try them all. I can't tell you how many bagels I've eaten since starting no S because I've missed those so much. But interestingly, now I am starting to meander back to some of my lower calorie foods that I did enjoy. We went to Wendy's the other night on our long, long drive home from Toronto, and I had a small chili and baked potato - - something I'd have had in my dieting days. But I really do enjoy those and saw no reason to go for the burgers just because I can.

At any rate, thanks again for sharing your ideas! And LOL on the cookie dough ice cream. So glad it isn't just me!!

[TexArk]

Monday--Successful N Day

Breakfast: 1 egg, Fiber 1 cereal with skim milk
Lunch: 1 lasagna square, strawberries
Supper: salsa chicken with cheese over couscous; raw spinach & grapes; small cornbread muffin

Finally got my 30 minute walk in after many interruptions, and I finally worked in my 14 minutes of weight training/yoga at 9:15. I had too many failures on my 14 minutes last week so I am trying diligently. The 30 minute walk and the 3 plates and NoS are pretty solid.

I am happy with my N days. Now that daylight savings time is upon us and the weather has broken I think I can get more outdoor exercise in. Now for the 14 minute habit to get solid. (And non grazing S days)

I have to remind myself that this is maintenance and I am really succeeding at maintenance. It is slow, but I just know that if I can get these habits down my body will be at its right size and weight. Better yet...I can actually see myself doing this for the rest of my life.

I just counted up my days and today is Day 73 (including N and S days)

49 Green Days (I never would have dreamed it possible)
22 Yellow Days (This makes me realize how many S days we get)
2 Red Days (And I have learned from these days as well)

[apomerantz]

Congratulations on your wonderful successes!! 49 green days!! Amazing.

It is getting easier isn't it? The green days. I feel it. My transition from Sunday to Monday this week seemed so much simpler.

Keep up the great work.

My biggest struggles are with the strength work too - - mine takes like 40 minutes, and some days I just can't squeeze in what amounts to 2 hours of working out when all is said and done (between cardio and strength). But I only do my strength 3x per week (but abs daily).

I'm a lot easier on myself with exercise though because that is a well established habit for me. I've done it all my life, and I know I won't stop now even if I'm not "perfect".

Keep doing what you are doing, TexArk!!

[TexArk]

An enjoyable N Day--I still want to be vigilant, but they are almost automatic now. I do have to think to add fruit to my meal plates, though, because I was so used to eating fruit as a healthy snack. This is much better, because my mind does not stop to think about food but 3 times a day.

Breakfast: 1 deviled egg, small serving of Fiber 1 and skim milk
Lunch: spinach, chicken, cheese salad with EVOO, pineapple
Supper: salsa chicken over couscous, Ezekiel toast, baby carrots
coffee and H2Orange to relieve evening boredom after early supper

30 minute walk including stair climbing and 14 minute strength training
wouldn't have done the 14 minute workout except for the HabitCal--amazing how seeing another red possibility is a motivation--actually I think it works for me because it prevents denial.

[TexArk]

SUCCESS

No S has been fairly easy today even though I had to rush supper. It is bedtime now and my stomach is rumbling. Bread is baking in the oven; perhaps it is just a Pavlovian response.

Wednesdays are my busiest day of the week and it has been almost impossible to get my 30 minute daily walk in; therefore I am declaring Wednesday an S day for my 30 minute walk and will use Saturdays as a 30 minute or longer walk day.

I have learned how to work in a 14 minute weight training workout right in my office so I can do that on my N days and I did get in a good 15 minute walk.

[Anne]

You are doing so great! I too have to eat an early dinner sometimes. It is better than snacking, but then evenings seem longer!

[TexArk]

Success for Day 76

Sporadic Sleet and Freezing Rain---still managed to get a 15 minute outside walk and off and on floor work. I'll try to get a little more done before bedtime.

Breakfast: egg, whole wheat bread
Lunch: black bean soup, whole wheat crackers, soy cheese
Supper: chalupa (shredded pork, salsa, tomatoes, cheese, chips)
Fixed Chalupas for daughter and college friends coming in after a camping trip. Managed to not lick the spoon after fixing the brownies, too! However, I am hiding upstairs away from the kitchen and all the food and I AM HUNGRY.

I thought about doing a walking indoor DVD, but I just can't gear myself up. So...here is where the NoS site comes to my rescue. I can read the blogs until my hunger subsides and then go to bed!

[apomerantz]

It sure will be nice when the weather gets a little more on the nice side so we can workout outside. Looks like you are having no trouble at all on the eating side! Yeah!! Another weekend approaches. Are you going to use the same strategy as last weekend? Mine will be trickier because Sunday I'm cooking a big dinner for family, and there's birthday cake involved. But I'm still hopeful.

Also, I left you a long note on Anne's check in - - hope she won't mind - - so take a peek there when you have time.

[TexArk]

My three meals were good today. I was very hungry this afternoon and gave up and ate supper at 4:30.

I did get in some good exercise. The weather cleared enough to walk outside and I did my weight training routine.

S Days are going to be 3 sit down meals, no sneaking of treats, and purposeful rewards. I have also set up a HabitCal for SDays as LALoser suggested. NonIdiotic S Days


Edited at 10:22 FAILURE--should have gone to bed and left it for others to clean up their own mess!
Had a gooey brownie cleaning up the kitchen before bed. The culprit was one of those broken pieces that used not to count because it was after all "BROKEN" I am not too concerned, and I don't think it would have happened if I were not 2 hours away from an S day and 6 hours away from supper! But that nibbles and bits is an old habit that needs to be curtailed.

[apomerantz]

The culprit was one of those broken pieces that used not to count because it was after all "BROKEN" I am not too concerned,

OMG, I thought I was the only one for whom tiny pieces of broken baked goods had zero calories.

So sorry about the F day on your N day - - but in the scheme of things, it won't make a difference. You've been sooooo consistently N.

[TexArk]

Whoopee! Finally a calm, sane S day.

I had three good, normal N day one plate meals. After lunch I had one Brownie. I had a piece of homemade wholewheat bread at 4:00 and at supper I had a small second helping (Tablespoon) of egg fried rice. That's it. Also, I got in two one mile walks.

One more S day to go.

[apomerantz]

Way to go on your calm S day, TexArk!!! Hope your second one went that well too. You'll laugh when you read my log . . .my weekend didn't go quite as I had hoped. Oh well, moving on . . .

[TexArk]

Yesterday was a good S Day. Not Crazy anyway. I did not have a sit down supper, but nibbled on cheese, chips, pretzels and fruit. It was OK though. In times past I would have eaten an entire bag of chips. And yesterday did have some of life's stress thrown in. Again, in the past, I would have been chewing and stewing. Now that I am enjoying food for the first time in a long time, I don't want to just fill up a void. And..I really like being hungry for meals.

For two weekends I have thought I would enjoy a special ice cream treat, but each week I really didn't want any. The only sweet I had this go round was a brownie and some honey on an English muffin. Last night I kept thinking..this is an S Day. Isn't there anything you want? Nothing. Amazing.

Today was a smooth sailing N Day. The turkey pot pie at supper was extra rich but that was all I had and it was very good, and I got a good walk in while it was in the oven.

[apomerantz]

Sounds like all is well with you TexArk - - great weekend and great N day! Hope today is progressing just as smoothly.

[TexArk]

I realized that I am at the 2 1/2 month mark on this journey, and I cannot believe so much change has taken place. I feel good about myself; I am enjoying meals; I am enjoying cooking again; I don't feel like I am struggling with food or my body!

Breakfast: 1 egg, Fiber One cereal with 2% milk
Lunch: spinach salad with 1 egg, EVOO, crackers, sweet red pepper soup
Supper: roast, broccoli,cauliflower, 1/2 small baked potato

35 minute walk

No weight training, though!!

[Anne]

I cannot believe so much change has taken place. I feel good about myself; I am enjoying meals; I am enjoying cooking again; I don't feel like I am struggling with food or my body!

This is wonderful, TexArk! I feel the same way, although I know I still have a long way to go.

[TexArk]

SUCCESS
I am posting early, but I am claiming a success and I do not want to have to come back and edit.

Wednesdays are busy days, but I have done my 30 min. fast walk and my 14 minute strength training.

Meals have been good. I don't think the usual Wednesday night goodies will bother me. They haven't for many weeks now.

I made homemade bread last night, but I called on my husband to take it out, slice it, and wrap it. I didn't dare. I know where my weaknesses are.

[TexArk]

SUCCESS

3 good meals
35 minute outdoor walk
No yoga or weight training--faculty meeting messed up my schedule!

grocery store trip for fresh produce--I am enjoying my veggies again

put bread on to make in the machine and went for nice 2 mile or so outdoor walk with husband

I am enjoying cooking now that I can have good food to eat and am nice and hungry at each meal to enjoy without guilt. My recipe notebook is getting fat, but not me!

[TexArk]

SUCCESS

Did the 3 plates. Did a 1 hour outside walk to a flea market and back. Of course I had to go back with the car to get the items I couldn't carry. Found a vintage bear cookie jar for $14.00, but I will not be brave (or foolish?) enough to keep cookies in it during the week!

No specific plans for the upcoming S days except to keep the NoS pattern and add a special treat as it presents itself. I will probably make banana nut muffins and there is the Breyer's coffee ice cream I haven't been interested in the last 2 weeks. I actually have to remind myself it is there.

My HabitCal is looking green for NoS and walking, but there are too many red blotches for weight training. I am also marking S days as red or green using LA Loser's crazy or not criteria.

[apomerantz]

Just checking up on you! It looks like all is very well in your corner of the world. Way to go .

[Anne]

TexArk, I must have missed something, but do you mean you mark S-days as red if things go crazy, and green if they're reasonable?
Anyway, I hope your S-days are anything but red for you this weekend!

[la_loser]

Anne,

What TexArk was referring to is how she's using my idea of having multiple HABITCALS. . . here it a post I made last summer that explains how I do it. It's a simple enough strategy to keep me honest with No S but be able to keep track of my minor issues as well--or if they are major problems! I don't know if she ended up making multiple HabitCals or just marks her No S one. . . that's what she's calling my "crazy or not" criteria.

FROM ONE MY EARLIER POSTS:
I posted a longer version of the following on the Limiting Failure topic on July 13, then of course had to go back and reiterate to everyone that my goal was to still be true to strictly No S --but like your idea about the one exception for the day fits well with this. . . On my Strictly Speaking HabitCal, it would still be a RED day--but on the GREEN_Equals_Two_R_Less_S_Slips HabitCal, I would be able to track if it was a single slip or two rather than an all out crazy day!

These are the types of strategies that I could include in my addendum to my little document. . . not one-liners or zingers but food for thought. I've already added several other suggestions from other posters in that area as well.

From that post:
Quote:
I do want to have an honest record of my No S journey. Rather than do it on the daily check-ins. . .takes too long-I get so wordy (obviously!) and I don't have time to do that all the time! So I have made additional HabitCals. . . I created:

Strictly_Speaking_No_S Habitcal--as per Reinhard's Fence Around the Law line of thought (I went back and copied my original NoSDiet Habitcal and deleted the original) I mark that to have a record to compare my strict compliance and when I just had one or two little slips.

Not_an_Idiot_S_DayHabitcal: Reserved for S days whether it's weekends of NWS days. . . to be able to track my habit of not going crazy on those days!

GREEN_Equals_Two_R_Less_S_Slips Habitcal: My way of keeping track of little slips (ok-failures!) of the strictness of the diet--but so I can note whether this was a biggie or just one extra helping of one item and/or one healthy type snack, perhaps. . . I give myself a RED on that HabitCal if my slip-ups were more massive!

At least by doing it by HabitCal, it's quick to record and a great visual version of my progress. And it tells a more complete story.

Hope this makes sense.

[Anne]

Thanks LA Loser, it does make sense. I was just wondering if one of these habitcals had taken over in terms of your own priorities. In other words, which one is the most important to you for measuring your progress?
Personally, I’d rather make it black & white and stick to the original No-S Habitcal. I LOVE the simplicity of the plan, even if it means counting a huge failure and a tiny one the same way.
That being said, I can definitely understand the need to track other issues. The Habitcal system is a great tool for that!

TexArk, I apologize for taking up your space!

[TexArk]

An S Day the way they are supposed to be!

Light Breakfast: small bowl of Fiber 1 with skim milk and an orange(obviously not hungry from overindulging yesterday)
Lunch: big green salad with tomatoes, olives, red pepper, egg, Parmesan, croutons and honey mustard dressing
Afternoon Snack: small slice banana bread, coffee
Supper: chicken salad with mayo, apple, slice of homemade bread/butter
Evening: 2 small scoops coffee ice cream served up with an antique scoop in an old fashioned dish--lovely!

I liked being hungry for my 3 meals. My plates were just like N days. I didn't even want seconds. My treats were my snack and the ice cream.

Afternoon walk on a pretty spring day. (Before the rains and wind come again)

[TexArk]

NoS SUCCESS--supper was rushed and standing up! but it was one plate

Walk-early morning 1 hour walk- Vacation Days are nice

No weight training today, but hopefully in the morning.

Lots of paperwork and housecleaning to catch up on this week--that used to be a real trigger to snack to postpone or to reward, but I don't anticipate any problems because I don't do that any more. Hopefully I will have some time to relax and get lost in a book for a change.

This week will complete 3 months of NoS.

[TexArk]

Just a quick check in
Yesterday was an out of sync day but I made it within the rules. I had to drive 4 hours in driving rain. Finally found a Wendy's open and had chili and a baked potato about 8:00.
SUCCESS for NoS
FAILURE for exercise. (I really should take care of this early in the day)

Home the rest of the week--cleaning, catching up with stuff. It is strange that I fix myself better meals when I am in a regular work week than I do when I am home and have more time! However, I haven't fallen into the old permasnacking pattern.

[apomerantz]

great job with handling that pressure filled drive and making nice healthy choices at Wendy's. That's the same thing I always have there!

I just wanted to say good-bye. I'm accompanying my husband on a business trip to Orlando. There's a lot of eating involved so wish me luck. I think I can do it. It's my exercise routine that gets messed up, and honestly that drives me crazy. Exercise is such a habit for me that I really, really hate to miss it.

[TexArk]

I'm checking in after breakfast this morning because I am feeling a little weak. This is the last N day of my vacation and it has been difficult being at home without a schedule. I have to be really careful. I have stayed on N Day rules, but I have been real close to the borderline. I managed a walk yesterday, but we are having storms again today so I need to get out early.

I will edit later and want to report a nice, wholesome, well presented lunch instead of a bagel and cheese!

Edit: Today was better than yesterday. Nice hot lunch, but Supper was just a tortilla with turkey, cheese, and red peppers.
I did get my walk in. My habitcal looks good for my meals and my cardio, but it is too red for my weight lifting. Oh well, I can see what I need to work on next month.

Sigh: my laptop seems to have crashed so if I am MIA that will be why.

[Anne]

I hope your day is going well. It seems that we've both been experiencing difficulties with keeping things straight while on a break. However, you and I are doing quite well, I think. Even if this has been challenging, I'd say we are both overcoming it quite gracefully. Hang in there!

[TexArk]

Struggling S Days
Saturday was OK. I made an eggplant dish that was a failure and it sort of messed up my evening, but still not an S Day gone wild. Sunday, however, has been over the top--too many brownies and soft lemon topped cookies. Yuck! Why do I do this? I will have to say that this S Day episode does not compare to pre NoS binge days; so even though it was excessive it was not a binge.
Thank goodness tomorrow both vacation and S days are over! I weighed in on Saturday and had shown a slight loss. And then I weighed in this morning and was up 3 lbs. Of course I know that it is the salt content of Saturday evening's meal and the extra carbs. I really should stay off the scale though. I think the information subconsciously affects my eating. I certainly will not weigh in on Monday to see what I have done to myself today!!

I did get a good walk in this afternoon. I can say that I have the N day habit and the daily walk habit. My April goals are to get both S days to settle down and get my weight training sessions more regular.

[TexArk]

A successful N Day.

Egg Fiber 1 Skim Milk
Turkey, grapes, apple
filet mignon, broccoli, 1/2 bagel, butter

Could not get myself moving for any exercise, however. But it was the first day back to work after a week off. That's my excuse.

I'll just keep pluggin along. I, like so many others, am not going to see a good weight loss until S days settle down and exercise is revved up. Nevertheless, I am not gaining, and I am not permasnacking or bingeing. I have to keep reminding myself of that. And, I really don't think I look fat or feel fat even though 20 pounds could be removed.

[apomerantz]

Hi Texark,

I'm back in town, and just wanted to check in with you. Sounds like Sunday was a bit more challenging, but that everything else is going great! You are always so disciplined on your N days . . .

I do think it takes awhile to totally kill those urges to binge once you get started on the sweet things. That's a habit we've had for years - - so it isn't reasonable to expect it to abate super fast. I think we are both getting closer .

Good to be back with you all.

Anita

[TexArk]

Eating hasn't been a problem. I was more hungry than usual today--not sure why.

Getting exercise scheduled and done is an issue. My excuse today was rain and thunderstorms. I did a little free weights but not much.

It has been a busy, busy week--can't believe the weekend is upon me. My plan of attack for now is to approach the S days as N days, but allow myself planned treats outside of the house. I don't think I will make any home made goodies (sweets) this Saturday. I feel too vulnerable. Of course, this does not rule out baking bread!

[TexArk]

N Days are going well. Weather was nice this evening so I got in a nice long walk.

No real plans for S Days this weekend. I am just going to try to not go crazy. I am not really craving anything now so that is a good sign. Tomorrow will be weigh in day if my head is on straight.

I am enjoying cooking again and have pulled out some family vintage cookbooks that are just fun to read. I didn't dare do that when I was "dieting" for 40 years!

[TexArk]

Saturday S Day has worked out well.
My special treat was a delicious serving of peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream. The weather has been nice so I took a good walk today, too.

I weighed in this morning for my monthly check in and I was down 1 1/2 pounds--that makes 3 1/2 pounds in 3 months. Slow and sleady and moving in the right direction. Now if I could just get my weight training sessions regular--I know they make a difference in weight loss, metabolism rate, and bone density, so as the Nike commericial says...Just Do It!

[apomerantz]

I'm laughing because I think I'm down the exact same amount - - 3.5 lbs. I've been as low as 4 lbs down and obviously less than 3.5 - - but I seem to be averaging around 3.5 at this point.

Congratulations!!! Things are working . . .slow and steady wins the race.

[TexArk]

I can't believe that yesterday was Day 100. Nothing profound to reveal about 100 days on NoS that I haven't already shared. I am doing fine on my N days and seem to have one of the two S days where I would like them. However, so far I can't seem to put 2 good S days together. Yesterday I went over the top eating miniature Three Musketeer bars after a stressful phone call. It was an S day after all, but I am still amazed that I can resort to that kind of behavior when I don't do it all week. I think I really must need the safety valve the S Days provide to keep me going.

The good news is that even though I have lost just a few pounds (my 3 1/2), my clothes fit looser. I am wearing pants today that used to be too snug around the derriere and now they are just right--even loose in the waist. Now I know for certain the 3 1/2 pounds really was fat removed and not just excess fluid.

This evenng is going to present a challenge. I cannot have supper until nearly 8:00 and I had lunch at 12:00. My plan is to have a glass of buttermilk about 5:00 if I am really miserable (i.e. headache). Now my challenge is to get some exercise.

[TexArk]

SUCCESS for N Day

I managed to get my walk and weight training in also. I am not satisfied with the intensity level, but it was done.

I tried the Lipton caramel tea this afternoon and enjoyed it.

[apomerantz]

CONGRATS on being 100 days plus No S. That's awesome.

I must admit that No S is seeming easier and easier to me - - like I can understand why I made such a huge deal in the beginning. Isn't that funny? I barely think about it now except in restaurant situations.

Keep on chugging! We are doing well, and you know I bet if we lose 10 lbs this year over the course of a year, we will both be thrilled. I really think it is possible.

[TexArk]

The N days are just pretty well established. Easter weekend S days were probably more sweet involved than usual S days, but cannot hold a candle to past holidays where the attitude was stock up now because you can't see this again until Christmas. Now I know I only have to wait until the weekend if I so desire. That said, I did have coconut creme pie, banana bread, coffee ice cream, and peach cobbler--1 large serving of each over a two day period.

I have enjoyed pulling out old family recipes and cooking favorites. It makes me sad that for so long I did not really enjoy cooking and my daughter doesn't really associate any holidays with special foods--or any recipes with her mother except low fat, sugar substituted ones. I think that is a mistake on my part. But I am making up for it now--every S day.

[apomerantz]

I feel the exact same way - - definitely enjoying cooking a LOT more now that I can actually do more of the eating . . .

It was a sweet weekend for me too with the holidays (Passover in my case), but somehow I did okay anyway. My weigh in was actually low this morning . . .not sure how that happened.

Congrats with being able to ENJOY yourself while staying no S all week long.

[TexArk]

This day is a SUCCESS even with Supper Club this evening. I was afraid that the dessert would be too tempting, but it really wasn't. I had my salad and soup and was actually full and all the sweets just didn't look that good to me--I just drank my coffee and visited. Even though the scale doesn't show much loss, I wore a pair of pants this evening that I couldn't wear last month. I still am a size 12, but it is a loose 12!

I also managed to get a good weight training session in this morning before work and a short walk outside after work. I seem to have the N day habit so now I am focusing on upping the exercise. School will be out in a month and then I will have no excuse!

[apomerantz]

So awesome about the loose pants! I find that to be the best feeling .

[TexArk]

This has been a fast week, but I have stayed GREEN all week. I haven't made plans for my S Days, but I want to try some new recipes. I don't have to worry about tasting along the way on the weekends!

Wednesday I had to make cookies. I felt weak, so I just made the Toll House refrigerated tear apart cookies. Everyone loved them and ate them all up--fresh from the oven. If I had baked cookies, I know I would have slipped.

It is really odd, but I have started reading all my old cookbooks as well as some of my inherited cookbooks (they are a hoot!) and there are so many dishes I want to try. I actually think I have been engaging in food porn all week. Has this replaced the old bingeing?

[Anne]

How did the cooking go this weekend?

[TexArk]

Just a quick check in. I was not too happy with my second S day. It also rained all weekend so I did not get my long walk in for the weekend. I am not even going to try to analyze what went wrong on Sunday. Let's just say the day ended with eating out of the ice cream carton. It was an S Day gone wild.

But my N day today was back on track and I even got a good walk in at the end of the day. I had weighed on Friday and was down another 1/2 pound which makes a grand total of 4 pounds for 4 months. I did not weigh after Sunday's eatfest and may not weigh again for quite awhile.

By the way, Anne, I did just fine with the cooking on Saturday. It was Sunday that was the problem--and it had nothing to do with my cooking!

[apomerantz]

Let's just say the day ended with eating out of the ice cream carton.

lol . . .boy can I relate to this. But hey, it was an S day and again you moved right back to a successful N day. And you are down 4 lbs!! I think it is so wierd how we are losing at about the exact same rate. I'm also down 4 lbs right now. It's about a lb per month, but you know at the end of the year that could be 10-12 lbs. In my mind, that would be awesome if it happens. I suspect though as my calorie needs drop that maybe the weight loss will plateau. But it will be an interesting experiment to see.

[TexArk]

I am really pressed for time, but I feel the need for a quick check in. I am going to have to report a SUCCESSFUL FAILURE for Wednesday. I succumbed to a small bit of cookie dough last night--after all it was stuck to my finger! It probably was the equivalent of a cookie. OK it was a big blog. That is the failure. But the larger success is that is all there was to it. No wrecking the car this time.

I need to add that I am suffering from sleep deprivation--end of school pressures, daughter's end of semester pressures, and my father is in the hospital out of state. I am very glad for NoS at the moment, because this would be a time where I would be throwing caution to the wind. At least eating is one part of my life that I don't have to worry about. I really have not even wanted to turn to food for comfort. For once, food seems to have its rightly place as nourishment for the physical body and not the emotional one. However, I do know enough to be mindful.

[Anne]

after all it was stuck to my finger!

Isn't that the perfect explanation?! I mean, you'd really have to be superhuman to be able to resist the cookie dough stuck on the finger!
Anyway, I LOVE your successful failure story! How wonderful! And I'm so glad to hear about the comfort that No-S is bringing to your life right now. On the days when I'm successful, I also feel so much more centered.

[apomerantz]

I'm so sorry to hear about the encroaching life pressures, but I'm very proud and happy for you to hear how you are handling it. Honestly, if our diet failures were simply restricted to licking cookie dough off one finger, you and I both know we would never have had to diet in the first place. The fact that you did that and then did not go on to say "oh what the heck I already ate the cookie dough blob so might as well just keep on eating the whole bowl of batter" - - to call that a failure just seems like a misapplication of the word. In No S land it is a failure. In the land of perpetual dieting, I would definitely say SUCCESS!!

[TexArk]

Exhausted from travel, family decisions, and end of semester deadlines, but the structure of NoS is soothing. I spent 20 hours on the road over the weekend. Two of the days were S days, but I still did not snack in the car. That is a real first. Meals were really far apart, but I colud tell I only wanted to eat something that would taste good. I wasn't going to settle. Stress is upon me, but I am not turning to food. This is truly amazing. I may not be able to post every day for awhile, but I am doing fine and will post when I can. I even got in a 30 minute walk this afternoon.

[Anne]

Sounds like you're doing absolutely GREAT in spite of the stress and exhaustion. I'm really glad for you!

[apomerantz]

Wow - - I'm impressed you didn't snack in the car. For some reason, car snacking has not been an issue for me in the past, but I can so see why people find it appealing . . .it's a triumph to have that under control. Especially on an S day!! Great job with NOT using food to medicate the stress. That's really, really good . . .

[TexArk]

I've been keeping my HabitCal, but it has been too hectic to keep up with the daily check in. I was happy to show a 4 1/2 pound total weight loss when I weighed in. That is a nice slow loss of 1 pound a month. However, I made the mistake of weighing in this morning after 2 S days and all 4 pounds showed up again. I know it will disappear again in a few days, but that is the very reason I don't weigh daily. I know I had many carbs over the weekend that caused water retention, but I still don't like to see that number on the scale. Also it has been pouring down rain for several days and I didn't get my outdoor hikes in.

Oh well. With all the stress in my life right now, it is good to get back to N days.

[apomerantz]

Same with me TexArk - - I've been tracking on my spreadsheet, but haven't checked in here much. It's not doing me much good because my weight is now moving steadily in the wrong direction. I'm so bummed. But at least I realize it so I can do something about it.

How is this week going for you? Hope those 4 lbs are gone by now! I'm sure they are .. .

[TexArk]

I have not been posting because I am not at home for awhile. I am caregiver for my dad who had a stroke 3 weeks ago and stepmother with increasing dementia. It is very stressful and we are going to have to make some difficult decisions in the future. I cannot get any exercise, but my N days and S days are still on track. It is amazing. I am so glad I started this 4 months ago. Otherwise, I would be gaining like crazy with all the stress and fatigue. It will all work out in time, but for now each day is very draining. I will check in again when I can.

[la_loser]

TexArk, I'm sorry you're having to take on such heavy responsibilities. Been there and I know it's tough.

But how comforting to know that your habits are helping you stay on track.

Remember to "put on your own mask first" and hang in there.

[apomerantz]

I was so sorry to log in today and learn the terrible news about your dad. It sounds like a VERY tough situation to say the least. I'm not looking forward to these things at all . . .

I'm very glad your new habits are holding you in good stead.

Best wishes . . .anita

[TexArk]

I ate a few small sweets the last 2 days. Nothing much, but still.
However, under the circumstances I am probably losing weight and not eating enough. As I posted earlier, my 92 year old dad had a stroke a few weeks ago. He is doing great physically, had a pace maker installed, there just a little impairment on his right side as far as strength is concerned. The real problem is aphasia and his lack of will to live with these circumstances. To be vibrant, still driving, computer savvy, well read, ex college professor one day to some one who struggles to pull out words and thoughts is painful. Many ex students have been by to visit and he enjoys the company and if they are patient he can carry on his part of the conversation. My stepmom has advancing dementia and he has been her caregiver the last two years.

SO I am the only whole person in the house. I am staying and helping and watching and assessing and taking it one day at a time. I am not exercising, but I am not overeating. I do need to avoid the sweets however, because I can tell that sometimes that is all one might have an appetite for when in this situation. I will not let this situation be a cause for me to medicate with food.

Thank you to this board. I love to read posts when I have a moment. I am actually using my dad's high speed internet in his study.

[mimi]

So sorry to hear about your dad TexArk...it's not easy watching your parents fail. Neither of my parents are living, but we have been through this with my husband's mother. It's not easy being a caregiver, and there comes a time when you may have to make other arrangements. Nothing prepares you or makes is easy. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there.
Mimi

[TexArk]

I have not had internet access for quite awhile. I hope I can check in at least once a week for awhile. I am still away from my family taking care of my dad. I am essentially the only caregiver 24/7 and depend on home health care and a volunteers to give me a break to run errands. I will be doing this all summer and then decisions will have to be made.

I did pretty well for awhile staying with NoS, but the last 2 weeks I have found myself slipping...eating ice cream after I get him down for the evening, scouring the cupboard after stressful "visits" from dementia challenged stepmother. Exercise is restricted to what I can do "on the floor" but there is much I can do that I am not. I am recommitted to NoS and do not want to get back to food as comfort or escape. I may not be able to report but once a week due to limited internet access, but I am back!!!

[la_loser]

I'm glad you found a way to check in, I was just thinking about you the other day and figured you were still so overwhelmed with your family responsibilities.

Take advantage of whatever time you can get to take care of yourself. As has been stated on the boards several times recently, you must put on your own mask first. It sounds as if you've been making an effort to do that--I hope you can continue to find a more respite care as time goes on.

I know from experience that dealing with the others who aren't in control of their own faculties can be much more challenging and emotionally draining that dealing with the primary patient. It's definitely tough.

Maybe you can make a paper calendar HabitCal or use a journal to help you stay focused on No S and thus give you a sense of control about SOMETHING in your life. If you have your No S book, you can mark it and highlight it, etc. all you want - in lieu of reading the boards. Every time I open it up, I find little gems I somehow missed (or forgot!).

Take care and tune in when you get a chance.

[TexArk]

I have better access to internet now so I am keeping my habitcal and trying really hard to make it to 21 days. I have two green days so far.

I am dealing with the most difficult challenge of my life at the moment. I am still caregiving for my dad who has aphasia and am confined to a one bedroom apartment taking care of my dad and handling daily visits from my stepmother who has bad dementia problems. I cannot bring my dad back home (I am out of state) until the stepmom's family makes some decisions. So I have really had to struggle with not eating at night when she leaves and I get him down for the evening. I know that food is not the answer and I have been much better after my NoS training than I would have been. I am not gaining, but I am certainly losing the habit and need to get it back quickly so even with all the emotional, legal, medical, and other issues. I think that the habitcal check in will really help me out. Also, if I can sustain internet connection just writing my daily check in takes care of a real need!

I prepare his meals except that we both eat Meals on Wheels at noon. Actually, we split one meal and guess what? The portions are about right if cut in half. The only problem is that I miss making those food choices and eating just what I really want.

OK I have 2 days in a row and now I have 2 S days that are not going to be wild.

[kccc]

TexArk, my heart goes out to you for having to deal with such a difficult situation. Wish I could send strength and support - will be thinking of you, if that helps.

Find ways to take care of yourself during this difficult time - little luxuries like flowers, or scented shower gel, or whatever makes you feel a little indulged and restored.

Very best wishes!

[TexArk]

Thanks to all for encouragement. This situation has really been the worst case scenario all the way around. I am counting on the stability of NoS to provide some structure and control.

I have had 2 green days and 2 S days. I will not say that the S days were where I would like the to be, but at this point I am truly beginning again and need to have my N days back in place before worrying about S days. So now I am working this one meal at a time.

This week may bring some legal issues and major decisions but I know that I can still eat one meal at a time. I like to see the green on my habitcal.

[mimi]

Oh TexArk - how I wish I could reach out over the Internet and give you a great big ol' hug. What challenging and trying times caring for an aging parent...we've been there and done that, so I do really understand. We did it for a year and a half and then had to make other arrangements when her health concerns grew too many and too complicated for us to continue caring for her. My husband's mom has been in a nearby nursing care facility for almost a year now, and we make regular visits twice a week on Thursday evenings and Sunday afternoons. It still isn't easy, but we have the peace of mind knowing that she is getting the best possible care for her circumstances. My husband has the peace of mind knowing that he did as much for her as he could until it grew out of his hands. Now we take her out to our home occasionally on weekends and holidays for the day and then return her. It's an ordeal, but well worth it for all concerned.
Please try to take the time, as suggested by all, for yourself and make special small indulgences, to meditate, listen to music, sit outside, or whatever it takes to quickly restore yourself during this time. Know that all of us here are thinking of you and sending positive and strengthening wishes your way in heaps and mounds!
Take care and check-in as often as you can!

Mimi

[~reneew]

We'll all be thinking of you... tough times, loving parents, day by day...

[TexArk]

Monday
Not so good. Did well until the evening and then BAM. Thanks again to those words of encouragement from those of you who have been there. My dad is doing very well and improving daily. My biggest challenges are trying to manage the step side of the family where I have no control and being away from my family for 2 months. Tomorrow is the day I set up appointment with lawyer to see what my legal options are. That is my excuse for the sweet attack. Isn't it interesting that some people would be losing weight during this same level of stress. I was actually there when I was trying to take care of both of them at my dad's home. Stomach too much in knots and too shaky to eat. But now...I am evidently looking for comfort.

My goal today is to be vigilant in the evening hours and substitute something else for food comfort. If internet is available getting online and posting here is my best choice.

[mimi]

Hang in there TexArk...hang in there!