emd1212's No-S check-in

emd1212 · Post by **emd1212** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 5:21 pm

Hey, any and all readers! My name is Liz, and as an on-and-off again No-Ser (since January 2009), I'm committing to a daily check-in to help keep me on track. I've been bad in the past at sticking with HabitCal or a check-in, but planning to stick with it this time.

I'm not somebody who needs to lose a great deal of weight; I'm currently at a BMI of 23 and holding, but I have struggled with eating and weight since adolescence and have dealt with both anorexia (high school)and binge eating (through late teens and twenties). I turn 30 in about two months and I'm trying my hardest to improve my negative relationship with food, using No-S to accomplish this. Stress tends to have a predictably negative impact on my eating and mentality toward my body, and my life is a bit on the stressful side right now (details will surely feature in my daily check-ins)

My biggest challenge is second-guessing my No-S strategy. I'll convince myself that I'm better off cutting fat out of my diet, or counting points, or trying some other pretty unsustainable method to cut my food intake. I get a hefty bit of anxiety over the idea of getting hungry between meals, as I think my prior eating disorder has left me pretty traumatized by hunger.

I know, though, that No-S is one of the most efficient ways to not only normalize my eating, but to teach me good old-fashioned commonsense restraint when it comes to using food inappropriately. On the heels of a failure last night (snacked after a "too healthy" supper that didn't carry me through till bedtime), I'm beginning this check-in.

Good luck to all those who are reading, and thanks for sticking with me this far!

good enough · Post by **good enough** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:27 pm

Hi and welcome Liz!

I'm a total newbie to No S, just been doing this a couple of weeks but loving it so far. I don't have a lot to lose either - just come off WW and mostly looking to maintain, and heal my (really quite damaged) relationship with food. I'm finding No S is already helping to calm my diet and weight obsession, it just somehow frames eating in a much more 'normal' way (whatever that is these days!). Anyway, just wanted to say good luck and look forward to reading more of your check-ins!

emd1212 · Post by **emd1212** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 11:34 pm

Thanks for the welcome, Tofu Queen! I, too, am a former WW-er (in fact, I have a few products in my kitchen still that I would not buy if not on WW!) and cannot sustain that particular way of eating.

Today has gone well and will be a green

Breakfast- 2 Vitatop bran muffins (a leftover WW-related purchase)

Lunch- leftover southwestern chicken dish I cooked yesterday, 2 slices of wheat bread w/ a spoonful of peanut butter

Supper- Meatloaf from a new recipe I tried tonight, with mashed potatoes, green beans, and fruit cocktail

I am fortunate that I have the time and resources these days to workout a good bit, and while I have to take care to not focus too heavily on exercise in my life, working out helps me relieve stress and depression and also raises my self-confidence, to I'm making exercise a priority most days of the week.

Today, I spent 30 minutes on our treadmill (we were so lucky to buy one second-hand from the in-laws!) and did a 30-minute cardio workout from the Beach Body Turbo Fire program. Also, the husband and I did 8 Minute Abs (hilariously dated but very effective), as we do most weekday mornings.

Overall, I think I'm off to a good start. I'm trying very hard not to worry too much about the fact that hubby and I have a cruise coming up in December, a belated honeymoon after 5 1/2 years of marriage. Even if I don't look any different than I do today, I also don't look any worse than when we married, and he seems to love me all the time, regardless of how I "think" I look. Now, if I can just re-read what I've just written every night between now and our cruise, I'll feel okay!

Good luck, readers! Wishing you a green Tuesday tomorrow.

emd1212 · Post by **emd1212** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:19 am

Another green day- I'm saying that now, at 8:11 p.m. my time, to set that truth in stone for the rest of the night! We ate supper late tonight, so that also should be a help.

Breakfast: bowl of Raisin Bran w/ lowfat milk

Lunch: leftover meatloaf with green beans and two slices of whole wheat toast

Supper: a small bowl of white turkey chili, a square of home-made cornbread, and a serving of a cheese and pasta casserole I made for the first time. All would fit on a plate, but the chili was in a bowl on the side.

Victories with supper are notable: I would normally take seconds on the cornbread, and also the casserole, which was really good. I was mildly anxious to eat by the time we finally sat down at 7:30, but didn't panic or take extra bites as I was dishing up our food. I'm not totally sure how my husband feels about the new recipes (all from a "healthy" cookbook I found in a used bookstore), but he's trying to get in better shape also, and we ate far too many meals out last week. Plus, my cooking is usually a bit too healthy for his liking normally, so no big change there.

On the workout front, I did 8 minute abs this morning and a whole hour on our treadmill later on.

Two more N-days to go, readers!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:38 am

Your food looks yummy today! Great job!!

I like to try to post my meals for the day right after dinner so that I have it set in stone and am not tempted to add anything at night!!! ha.

You're doing great!

AnneK · Post by **AnneK** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 2:26 am

Welcome EMD

I am brand new to NoS (on day four) and really relate to what you said about 1) second guessing the program and 2) being scared about being hungry.

Hope this goes well for both of us!

emd1212 · Post by **emd1212** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 6:28 pm

Thanks for the support, both of you!

Yesterday was a failure, and was totally preventable. I got home from being out with friends and heated up some leftovers from Wednesday's dinner, a plateful, no problem. I had enough cornbread still for today's breakfast, and told myself to leave it alone. Well, about 20 minutes after eating, I willfully went back to the kitchen and got the rest of the cornbread and ate it. I knew what I was doing would mean a failure, and I didn't need the extra food to be satisfied, as I already was. I honestly felt I was sabotaging myself. I even played the mental game where I considered counting that extra cornbread as today's breakfast and then just skipping breakfast. But no, it was a self-sabotaging failure. I have to be accountable for my actions or I'll never get a hold on my eating.

So, yesterday:

Breakfast: cornbread

Lunch: turkey chili, slice of wheat bread with peanut butter

Supper: leftover pasta casserole, cornbread

Failure: seconds on cornbread

On a more positive note, I am going strong with working out. I did a Jari Love weight workout DVD that was an hour long (very sore today!), 8 minute abs and 30 minutes of easy walking on the treadmill. Y'all will note that I own way too many workout DVD's...buying them is somewhat of an addiction for me

But there are worse things to own a lot of, and altogether they cost less than a gym membership. If anyone needs recommendations on a DVD workout, I'm happy to help.

Happy Friday to all; I'll be back to check-in with today's meals.

emd1212 · Post by **emd1212** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 2:20 am

Having a bad body image day today, which is messing with my head. I have, however, stayed green.

Breakfast: leftover pasta casserole (funny, when you cook for only two, how many times you get to re-enjoy the same dish!)

Lunch: Raisin Bran with milk (kind of did lunch and breakfast backward today)

Supper- at On The Border with hubby- :some chips and salsa, a bit of queso dip, a grilled chicken salad from their "healthy" menu, and a small section of my husband's quesadilla.

I am very sore from yesterday's weight workout, and took it easier with a 60 minute walk on the treadmill. I know to some others that's not exactly easy, but I've been trying to push harder recently, so it felt like somewhat of a break.

All in all, a decent day. I hope everyone made it through the week okay! I resisted buying candy while shopping at Target after supper, even though my hubs got some for himself. I can watch scary movies tonight candy free

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:04 am

Great job resisting the candy while hubby indulged. That's difficult huh! My daughter made chocolate chip cookies last night. I absolutely love warm chocolate chip cookies with milk. I resisted knowing that I can pop one in the microwave for a treat today. Keep on keepin' on! Have a great weekend!

emd1212 · Post by **emd1212** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 2:34 pm

I had a very moderate weekend, which was good, and then a a completely off day yesterday. I snacked three times! I was not binging, at least, and completely aware of my choices to be off No-S, but it was a slip back into distrusting its rules. I'm back today, and planning on three meals today.

Have a good Monday! I'll record my food later.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 5:55 pm

Let's finish out strong today! Unfortunately for me just a couple bad days can trump the many many good days! So I have to get right back on track immediately. I mean, nothing is forbidden on this plan. If I can't stick to this, will I ever stick to anything?

Let's work it hard today!!!! I'm trying to encourage you....cuz I feel the same way!

good enough · Post by **good enough** » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:35 pm

Hello there! Just wanted to stop by and give you a cheer-on. Well done for staying accountable and 'fessing up to those minor slip-ups. I think there's a world of difference between an extra snack and a full-on binge, and I also find one can sometimes turn into the other but you prevented that so extra doubly well done!

Keep it up!!