an extra check in and a related question

[BeingGreen]

This was the first day in almost six weeks that I came DANGEROUSLY close to throwing in the towel and eating everything that wasn't nailed down in the pantry.

Yes it was an "S" day, but the only thing that stopped me tonight after a good sized dinner and dessert (and more dessert) was Blueskigh's question ringing in my ears: "Are you ENJOYING it?" And no, I was no longer enjoying it. So I stopped. I didn't go on to have some cereal, and a bag of chips, and a bowl of ice cream. I think I can take some comfort in that. But I still feel like an "No S IDIOT."

I think I've read that some of you have overdone it occasionally on "S" days and that did not totally derail your new found habits. I feel good about the safety of five "N" days coming up, but I hope this overfull feeling I have right now will be a lesson to me next weekend. Should I mark a red on my habitcal for today even though it was a planned "s" day?

[la_loser]

Should I mark a red on my habitcal for today even though it was a planned "s" day?

Absolutely not--this is an S day. Period.

Earlier today, Oolala posted a comment about failures. . . I thought about some of Reinhard's comments on Failure and posted these thoughts. ( http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic ... ght=#49803 )

Later I was listening to my iPod and decided to take another listen to several of his podcasts. There is a good one on failures that you can listen to on the computer or download to an MP3 player. They are mostly short but it's excellent oral reminders of what this is all about.

I always go back to Reinhard's comments and remember the take another look at what he says about "failures." This is from the NO S homepage:

Quote:
Sometimes it takes a false start (or 12)
Some people, like me, get No S the first time they try it. It works and it sticks. But most people have a bit more trouble than that. In fact, you might do best if you assume you'll screw up the first time, so you don't get too discouraged. Consider it a reconnaissance mission, a trial run, just to feel out how hard it's going to be and where problems are going to arise. If the enemy, appetite, turns out to be such a chump that your reconnaissance mission routs him, great, you've succeeded. It might be that easy, you won't know until you try. If not, you've learned more about him, where he's likely to ambush you. You're stronger, better prepared for next time. Don't feel stupid for trying and failing. Success is the sum of many failures. This isn't just pep talk. According to a recent article I was pointed to (thanks, Valerie):

Studies show that altering eating habits for good requires 10 to 12 concerted attempts to succeed - which is to say about a dozen failures come before the eventual success. "That's not reason to despair," said John Norcross, professor of psychology at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania and a researcher on self-initiated change. "If anything, it's reason to say, 'I'm not doing so bad.' "

So quit dawdling and get some failures under your belt!

Need something more inspirational than another pseudostatistic? Try Winston Churchill: "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

And yes, I have overdone it on S days and sometimes not. . . sometimes the miserable feeling of stuffing myself helps me remember the next time to STOP IT! But I have learned not to add to my misery by feeling guilty about it.

This "failure" thing seems to be an ongoing pattern today. I see some other posts that echo some of your concerns.

I'm betting that when KCCC reads this, she'll say to use vmsurbat's line to "mark it (S that is) and move on!

Tomorrow is another day!

[BeingGreen]

Thanks LA_Loser! Tomorrow is another day. I couldn't sleep very well last night, so I was up rereading Reinhard's book. I had an aha moment--he's got some great insights in there! Here's what I read (p. 143):

"I messed up. I'm trying to [maintain my weight and my new habits], but I ate an [extra, unplanned] cookie. I feel low and powerless. The only power I feel I can exert is to make myself even lower. So I'll eat ten more!"*

*I added the words in [] to fit my situation my precisely.

On the face of it, it sounds ridiculous, but I hazard to guess that we've all been there, done that, felt that!

Reinhard seems to talk a lot about being proactive. So I decided early this morning, one of the best ways I can be more proactive is to up the accountability of my experience as a NoSer. For the next couple of months, I'll make a minigoal of S day check-ins, since that what's been ambushing me so far. So for a short time, I guess it will take away the thrill of spontaneous eating (if there really is any thrill ) But hopefully it will help me not "knowingly be a bozo."

[kccc]

LA_Loser has my number, alright!

Yes, "mark it and move on." You WILL have failures - part of being human. What matters is where you go from there. You haven't REALLY failed until you quit trying.

I have had LOTS of idiot-ish S-days. They still sneak up and get me, though when I write things down and take a hard look, I realize my definition of "awful" has really improved over time!

I even have red days now and then. But not many, and I use them to learn (or try to).

Be gentle with yourself. In fact, I think you deserve APPLAUSE for seeing that you were going off the deep end, and STOPPING! That's an accomplishment! So give yourself credit.

And remember, just worry about the N days, and the S days will take care of themselves. It may take a while, and be two steps forward and one back (I'm proof of that!), but the good thing is that No-S still works with them in the equation.