Everyday Systems

Ok, so I first started No S a couple weeks before Thanksgiving. I did fairly well those 2 weeks, then pretty much took off from Thanksgiving through New years, with a few N days thrown in there. I've been back on track since then, though. So, I'm still at the beginning stages of this.

I'm sure this has been discussed here before. I am really struggling with Friday evenings! That's date night with my husband, and the start of the weekend, in my mind. I tried considering Friday dinner S, and then switching back to N by Sunday dinner. Although I enjoy my Friday night, it's difficult to switch mid-day on Sunday. It's easier starting fresh Monday morning. How do other people deal with this?

I've been reading through the book, and totally agree that I want to keep things simple, so I'm not having mental wars about Friday. At first I thought I'd just have a sweet on Fridays if I felt like it, but try not to most of the time. But I know that would lead to way to much thinking, thinking, thinking - which is not good! Not sure if I just need encouragement to keep ALL of Friday an N, or what. It's just that I start to feel deprived if Friday is a total N day. Would love some encouragement!! Thanks!

The thought of deprivation comes from believing that you are missing out on something important. It's worth questioning. Am I really missing out on something essential if I don't have a sweet on Friday night? Is enjoying a wonderful meal in a great atmosphere with my sweetheart not enough? Is there a coffee drink or something like it, or perhaps a dinner that would feel extra special that I could save for having on Fridays?

I actually still often feel a pang on Friday nights from decades of letting loose, but I just let it be there now. I'm very sure I don't want to go back to that habit. By the time I finish my dinner, I'm usually full enough that it just doesn't matter.

I also used to have a ritual of having a modified strawberry shortcake at lunchtime as a Friday "treat." It was a plain whole wheat biscuit with cut up strawberries, plain yogurt, and a whoosh of stevia. I could have that any day I want, actually, but I saved it for Fridays, and it did the trick.

You'll get through this. You're really just getting going. It takes most people several MONTHS of good N days(and longer for some of us) for the sense to get in deep that N days actually allow for most of what we really love about food. When that becomes more clear, not having S's becomes less of an issue.

No S was made for you, not you for No S. We are all adults here and if you want to start your weekend on Friday night then by all means, do so.

I start my weekends with Friday dinner. Not Friday at 4PM because it's almost dinner time. Not at 10AM when someone has doughnuts in the office because it's Friday and what's a few hours anyway. Friday at dinner time.

Is this canon? No. But it's not worth the mental anguish to me to wait till Saturday morning. Your mileage may vary. There are plenty of No Sers who have absolutely no problem with Friday nights.

Here's another thought....

Before I ever found out about NoS, we had a Friday Family Night routine which involved a yummy dessert along with whatever else we planned.

I kept that when starting NoS and just made my S days Friday and Sunday. Since we usually have guests on Sunday, I didn't want to give that day up; whereas Saturday (for me) is full of errands and "work around the house" activities--not particularly social. So it made sense given our normal weekly schedule. But I've since discovered that I really, really like having that one day break between S days--feels more civilized to me for some reason.

So, what are your Saturdays and Sundays like? Might you enjoy life more by swapping one of those days with Fridays as your "official" S days? Only you can decide that and once you make a decision, stick with it for a few months and re-evaluate at that point if you're happy with it long-term. NoS is all about the doable long-term!

Reading this thread with interest. .. It's my first Friday evening on No S and I'm feeling the need for a treat.

Maybe I will do a face mask and paint my nails. Can't eat with wet nails!

If my S days started on Friday, I would have the sweets itch Thursday night, I am sure. That said, Friday nights ARE hard -- when I just feel too exhausted to fight, my solution is a personal pizza delivered to my house. It's a treat, it's something that I don't often eat and never cook myself, it satisfies my wish to start the weekend, it's not at all diet-y -- but it's not sweet and it fits on the plate. If you have pizza three times a week, it won't work -- but for me it's just enough of a treat!

Oh I like pizza idea! It sounds like just enough of a treat to tide me over till Saturday.

jw, we do a form of the pizza thing! Often my husband gets a take-and-bake pizza or, as he's doing tonight, he is going to bring fast food home. It's fun for all of us.

Friday nights are still the hardest for me.

I think there are some good suggestions to support several "ways of managing" Fridays already listed in this thread. Fun stuff!

I did a year of sticking to S days on Saturday and Sunday but now that I hit my healthy BMI and am not overly worried about getting to the thin end of it I start my S days after work on Fridays.

I do think that it was beneficial to be strict for the first year and wait until the majority of my S days calmed down before adding Friday in the mix.

Whatever you do, it has to work for you but I think give strict Vanilla a go for a couple of 21 days before deciding anything else.

My husband and I often go out on date night on Friday too. I find if I am relaxed about it it is easier. I tell myself to enjoy myself and if I think a little shared dessert fits the bill then I can get it. As soon as I start the mental debate, then I NEED the dessert. It becomes obsessive and not at all enjoyable. Often, I don't end up ordering the dessert. All psychological for me.

alice2002, rather than shifting your S days, remember that you can have ANYTHING you want as long is it is not a sweet, it's only at meal time and fits on one plate. This can be burgers, fries, pizza, chips. If Fridays are a problem then eat something really enjoyable like this, so you don't feel as miserable. After you have the habit built, you can scale back on the rich foods if your weight loss isn't coming along. I have such a problem from sweets and snacking that I lost a couple of pounds just from cutting out those, even with a rich meal here and there.

I used to start my Fridays at 10 pm because I found otherwise I was staying up in till midnight so it would technically be Saturday. But as time has gone on, I have gotten used to Saturday being the true start. If I fall asleep Friday night before midnight, no big deal. If I am up at midnight, maybe one snack.... Just slowly get more comfortable and see what works best. It takes time.

I count my weekend, in terms of No S and weekend goofing off and other things, as Friday noon thru Saturday bedtime. Sunday counts as a weekday, for me.

there are probably a lot of options with fridays. if you were to count 48 hours worth of time, could probably do your sdays starting with dinner friday letting yourself having a dessert if you want it (without going overboard) and then to dinner sunday - just eat a standard dinner on sunday night without the option of sweets, seconds and snacks... that might be a good options.

Thank you all for replying! I will keep thinking about how to handle it.

I used to do "double-Sabbath" - the Jewish Sabbath and the Christian sabbath. Sunset Friday to Sunset Sunday.

But it didn't work. Depending on the time of the year, you could have your three meals by, say, 730pm on Friday, and then start bingeing at 745pm.

I think S-days being 'rounded by a sleep' is important.

I now just do Fridays and Saturdays as my S-days.

It fits my work schedule, with after-work food and drinks, fits my Friday 'date-night', and by the end of having desserts on Saturdays, I don't feel any burden when I go back to the regular No-Sroutine on Sundays.

I find Fridays tricky too, even after a year. Not always, but often. I think of it as "the weekend." On the other hand, making dinner something fun like pizza usually takes care of it. I think maybe it could work to declare an optional "S event" for Fridays, so they aren't a total, go for broke, WTH red day, but instead an option.

I might think about quitting after lunch on Sunday too. By Sunday, if I'm going to be snacky, that's often the time I start turning into one of those fish that just swims with it's mouth open, catching whatever it swims into. Hmmmm.

This is an important thread.


Having said that, I am a big proponent of VANILLA for the first few months if not at least a year, because our real, enduring patterns can be seen only after we've faced the hard challenge for a long time and learn that we can do much more than we thought we could.

In the long run, No S works or doesn't work for an individual attempting to lose or maintain their weight based on whether or not it is a tolerable way for them to reduce the number of overall calories they consume - Reinhard, in his book, acknowledges as much... that the first law of thermodynamics cannot be violated. So, like it or not, No S is still about calories, in the end. It is simply a system that seeks to make the reduction in calorie intake humane and sustainable, thus leading to gradual, but lasting weight loss.

There is no need to throw the baby out with the bath water... No S has some great rules, but the greatest virtue it offers is teaching us how to moderate! Moderation is balance - if date night is a habit you want to keep, then simply create an equal and opposite habit that you are willing to trade for the pleasure of date night. How might you do this? There are a myriad of ways: you could eliminate a portion (preferably the carbohydrate portion) of 2-3 of your weekly meals (this would easily offset the sugar intake of a small dessert at Friday's dinner); you could skip a meal (or 2, you won't starve, I promise!) somewhere during the week... There are endless possibilities. The point is, pick a time when you know food would otherwise be an afterthought, and leverage that time against the time when you perceive it to be a great pleasure and, further, part of the experience of what you are planning.

No S is simply a guideline for how to eat, but I have finally found that it is possible to work within its framework to fit your life. I have been too often guilty of junking otherwise solid compliance because I want to eat a delicious dinner that someone cooked/invited me over for during the week. I break the 'rules' and then I go into a tailspin (or extended period of non-compliance), because I think, "I don't want to avoid an occasional treat during the week for the rest of my life!!" But normal weight people do this, too - they enjoy a CONTROLLED splurge sometimes, then they eat a little less at other times when eating less seems more appropriate/tolerable. Remember, it's larger trends of calorie consumption over time that make a difference in weight/compliance. I'm of the mind that date night is EXACTLY the time to enjoy yourself and spend a few calories!!

Best of luck to you, and all of us!

Blithe Morning wrote:No S was made for you, not you for No S. We are all adults here and if you want to start your weekend on Friday night then by all means, do so.

I start my weekends with Friday dinner. Not Friday at 4PM because it's almost dinner time. Not at 10AM when someone has doughnuts in the office because it's Friday and what's a few hours anyway. Friday at dinner time.

I agree with this. I thought there was another post supportive of this way of handling the weekend s days, but it seems to have disappeared. I think that if you can implement a tweak in a way where you are strong against violating it, there is not a reason in the blue sky why you can't "get away" with it. but that said, I always prefer to keep things under normalcy. It's only when i am making mistakes and doubting myself that I ever question and try and make changes.

Early on with No S, I had no mods, but after I had been at it for awhile, I retired. I have since experimented taking my S days on different days. Currently I usually take either Friday/Saturday or Saturday/Sunday. However, I never split S days, such as taking part of Friday and part of Sunday. To me, one S event in the day makes the day an S day.

Everyone does what works for them.

good for you R Jean sometimes I wish I could fit in with the crowd that stuck to the plan because it seems like they always have the higher ground when it comes to a moral argument about something no s related but for now I have a couple mods and not too many and I don't know if I will ever change its just where I'm at now

of course I am down 23 pounds I suppose it could be 30 or 40 if I were to follow the plan correctly I read an old post and saw it said sometimes you do small things in order to prevent big blowouts so that's where I'm coming from that's sort of why I adjust things for myself if I know that I will be more compliant

as a wise man once said there are a thousand roads to get to the same location or a state of nirvana.. each must take his own. and as I say after looking through the scads of diets on the internet no s is king. mods or no mods

and after watching The Lion King with my sons I am glad that reinhard and those that follow him don't let the hyenas take over I still like the pride land the way it is I just made a tweak because I am lazy or guilty of sin

but I'm still loyal to the king

It sounds like you are doing really well. Different mods work for different people. I try to stay pretty true, but In 4 years I doubt I have ever had a month without multiple red days. I probably average 2-4 reds a month and more during the holidays. I just try to keep my red days and S days moderate and not fall prey to the WTH effect. However, I had a 3 day total blowout this week and pretty much only had a couple purely green days the whole week.

Right now I just have a goal of maintenance through the holidays. It has taken 4 years to rid myself of 62 lbs and maintaining is more important than losing.

Well I hope I can do that good in four years

For 2 months ive just been maintaining

I'm just focused on getting less reds in the habitcal and more moderate s days

i too struggled this week.

have a nice Christmas vacation

For me, Friday evenings have always felt like they should be the start of S days

For me, I tend to focus more on S events rather than whole days, so a good meal that can include seconds and dessert a couple of times a week (generally weekends) and maybe something on a weekday like tea & cake at a cafe if the opportunity comes up (quite rare, but I like feeling that I can have that if I want to!). I don't really like to snack as it feels like a waste, so I don't feel like I ever have a whole S day unless I'm not feeling well.

One day, I'll think about a more formal way of tracking S events, but for now I'm kind of doing it intuitively, so it tends to work out that I'll have 2-3 S events a week, usually at weekends (I consider an S event a good meal, option of seconds and a nice dessert, and possibly an afternoon snack like cake - but it has to be good cake Ikea's almond cake makes the list as well as Costa coffee's carrot cake)

I've always done my S days from Thursday at 3pm until friday at noon. Just works best for me. I think one must adapt any program to that which works with your schedule and your life.