Everyday Systems

I love the habitcal!! I'm so glad I used it when I started.. So I was reviewing my past data..

1st attempt in 2011
Jun - Green
Jul - 2 reds
Aug - 3 reds
Sep - 12 reds
Oct - 13 reds
AND then I gave up and vanished. I know I was struggling a lot with the weekends - free for all which ended up me binging.

2nd attempt in 2012
Mar - Green
Apr - 6 reds
May - 2 reds
Jun - 16 reds
Jul - 2 red
AND then I gave up again and vanished. Again due to my over the top S days and the WTH effect following into my weekdays.

I do know I might have tried here and there and just didn't come back to the No S site so this might not be my 3rd attempt.

I truly was over the top with my weekends that carried over into my weekdays...at least it made it harder to get real again on Monday's. AND I think I started to try to modify it towards the end..like add a snack (not necessarily a sweet) in there at night during the week. Hence my screen name NoSnacker as they just lead to binges.

Lessons learned:
1. I see a pattern here, 5 months seems to be when I give up on things
2. Weekends ARE NOT meant for a free for all - green light to binge.
3. Vanilla No S seems to work best, no modifying for me.

I'm believing that like when I quit smoking eventually it will work and as I'm smoke free I can be binge free.

I truly want to be set free..I know I'm a black or white person with no gray in-between, but I want to change that with my eating.

Any words of encouragement from my friends

Yeah, I'm kinda in the same boat as you. I consider sweets my arch-nemesis, but in reality, it's snacking that inevitably leads to binging. At some point I tried to keep up the "3-a-day, no snacks" structure on weekends, and although I wasn't able to continue it long-term (too much restriction, perhaps), it certainly helped a bit.
Keeping my fingers crossed!

It's interesting that some people say going over the top makes it easier to gt back to N days, and others say it makes them carry overeating into the week.

It sounds like you're ready to have moderate weekends, which will likely boost your good feelings about the effort.

I'd say to calmly figure out two things: 1) what are you going to say to yourself to resist the urges to "S" on N days, just in case they come, and 2) what are you going to say when you fail? Because it is likely you can't depend on not getting urges and thoughts to eat at the wrong times, and that you may binge again at some point.

Although of course it is good to have moderate weekends, it is still possible to have terrific N days no matter what you did on S days, though it might take great effort. IT IS WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES TO TOLERATE THOSE UNCOMFORTABLE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS UNTIL IT'S TIME TO EAT YOUR NEXT MEAL Keep telling yourself, "It's worth it to wait." Kind of like Dorothy saying, "There's no place like home." No S is home.

Here's to No S holidays!

What really helped me tame the weekends without adding mods was planning out a really superb "S" (usually dessert) for each weekend day. When I would think about snacking, I would remember my awesome S coming up and hold off for that because I didn't want to ruin my appetite.

[quote="oolala53]IT IS WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES TO TOLERATE THOSE UNCOMFORTABLE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS UNTIL IT'S TIME TO EAT YOUR NEXT MEAL ![/quote]

This is close to what Gillian Riley says....Allow yourself to feel those feelings, they will go away. Accept those feelings, and they will vanish. The more we allow ourselves to feel those addictive feelings, and don't act upon it, (binge ect) the more we are changing our brains!

Hi everyone, so I did buy a cheesecake from Aldi's pre-sliced and I put them in the freezer to pull a slice out on the weekend...I'm so looking forward to a special treat...that I plan to savoir.

So it would be one sweet and my 3 squares on the weekend..my aim anyway...

this is my 3rd time, but unlike u i cant even remember the last time i was on here. i had the book and even gave it away. this is just the one eating plan that seems the most easiest. so i am gonna give it a go and this WILL BE THE LAST time. i am 48 and i can do this. positive thoughts for us.

What a very helpful post. I loved seeing your habitcal from previous attempts. And I would like to point out another (possibly) significant pattern: the last month or two in both attempts you have A LOT of reds. So, I speculate it could mean one of two things:
1. the reds made you hate yourself and self-sabotage. you couldn't stand NoSing anymore because reds made you feel terrible.
2. You were mentally checking out and that's WHY you had so many reds.

Which do you think it is (or something else entirely)?

And I am only a few months in.... so your post helps me recognize that the 5 or 6 month point might be especially tough to get through (sort of like after 5 or 6 years of marriage lots of people get divorced!)

automatedeating wrote:And I would like to point out another (possibly) significant pattern: the last month or two in both attempts you have A LOT of reds. So, I speculate it could mean one of two things:

1. the reds made you hate yourself and self-sabotage. you couldn't stand NoSing anymore because reds made you feel terrible.
2. You were mentally checking out and that's WHY you had so many reds.

Which do you think it is (or something else entirely)?

To be honest both!!! Thanks for the insight for me that I did not have!

1) I know I'm a perfectionist so when I started to see all the red I felt like a failure and totally out of control. 2) And I was mentally checking out because I felt I had no control, my weekends were outrageous..and carried over into the week with the WTH effect.

I have learned a lot, I need to be here and not counting calories and most important what I read in No S book "Don't let the complicated perfect be the enemy of the simple good enough"

Giving up is just not an option.

Just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading this. Your first and second attempts remind me of my start, which was only this past spring. I was beautiful and rigid and proud for a month or two, but then when I'd crack and crumble a bit I'd say "eh screw it" and suffer a few bad days in a row. Much harder to bounce back from.

Good luck on your third go! You're just learning a habit on a mega scale, I think.

I doubt you are a perfectionist in everything, and throwing in the towel upon failure to eat less is actually very typical. Remember? That is what the what-the-hell effect is. Or here, crashing the car after you get a dent in one fender. (A new one I saw is throwing the rest of a carton of eggs on the floor because you dropped one!)

One of the beauties of No S is that it gives so many fewer opportunities to dent the fender. No calories to "go over," no fails at tracking every bite, no fails because you don't weigh a certain amount by a certain date, no fails because you ordered French fries... Doesn't mean we won't come to our own conclusions about what is smarter to have on those plates, but if we end up beating ourselves up over the details, that's our own doing.

However, I think it takes a pretty strong person not to get a bit ruffled when faced with multiple failures in a short time. But that can also help galvanize the resolve.

Don't feel too bad. This month I've had 2 yellows, six reds and as of this morning 7 lb. gained. Too much partying!

But I'm already back on track and already lost 1 lb.

The road to slimville is full of obstacles and detours. NOS gives you the directions to get there.

Thanks for the feedback and for sharing your experiences.

You are right Oolala, I'm sure not a perfectionist in a lot of areas especially when keeping my house clean, I gave up because it is impossible...I remember I used to sweep my kitchen floor every day...and when I was in counseling she said, let it go and try sweeping once a week...I drove my family nuts...today I'm a different person...

At times I do the mad rush when I know someone is coming over...but for the most part tearing my toilet apart to clean days are over

That is funny, NoSnacker! I have never been a super-perfectionist about house-cleaning, but I will tell you I had a problem with wanting things truly squeaky clean, and not getting to the basic clutter, etc., because I was so busy scrubbing the floor and shampooing carpets. I have stopped so much of that, and now prioritize just getting a room picked up and presentable (rather than deeply clean) and I know my husband thinks now I do more cleaning. The truth is, I do less cleaning now than ever!

I drive myself more crazy NOT cleaning.

@oolala- Thanks for the analogy of "throwing the rest of a carton of eggs on the floor because you dropped one". That really brings out that each decision is a seperate matter and that one failure is really a unit, and doesn't have to affect the next one, though we often don't see the reality of that!

@Jethro- I LOVE the phrase "the road to slimville"... (ponders)... NoS is the road to slimville, I'm on the road to slimville.

oolala53 wrote:It sounds like you're ready to have moderate weekends, which will likely boost your good feelings about the effort.

I'd say to calmly figure out two things:
1) what are you going to say to yourself to resist the urges to "S" on N days, just in case they come, and
2) what are you going to say when you fail? Because it is likely you can't depend on not getting urges and thoughts to eat at the wrong times, and that you may binge again at some point.

Although of course it is good to have moderate weekends, it is still possible to have terrific N days no matter what you did on S days, though it might take great effort. IT IS WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES TO TOLERATE THOSE UNCOMFORTABLE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS UNTIL IT'S TIME TO EAT YOUR NEXT MEAL Keep telling yourself, "It's worth it to wait." Kind of like Dorothy saying, "There's no place like home." No S is home.

Here's to No S holidays!

Wow I was reading back through this post and totally missed this one!

1. K, what will I do to resist the urges to "S" on N days? 1) So far what I have been doing is eating enough at each meal, not over the top but enough. 2) I have been telling myself that NO CHOICE if I want something the weekend will be here soon enough; 3) my invisible boundaries and strictness (nicely of course); 4) I made a decision to stick to Vanilla No S. I tried tweaking my weekends to RED if I binged, but didn't realize I was tweaking..I was thinking tweaking was only with food ; 5) my attitude this time definitely has changed;

2. What are you going to say when you fail? Because it is likely you can't depend on not getting urges and thoughts to eat at the wrong times, and that you may binge again at some point. 1) When I consider my S days as fails I try not to dwell on it and forgive myself, and remember how everyone says on the posts that the S days will get better over time...now time means time to me, not yesterday or today . 2) To be honest I'm really afraid to fail this time because of looking back at my last 2 attempts and how the reds and weekends did me in. I believe I have learned enough to get past the red's this time..I'm not going to live in a sea of green...but I can try

Most importantly I find strength when I read the encouragement from everyone...especially you

IT IS WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES TO TOLERATE THOSE UNCOMFORTABLE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS UNTIL IT'S TIME TO EAT YOUR NEXT MEAL Keep telling yourself, "It's worth it to wait."


I totally agree with your statement above...it sure is worth it!

You are too kind!

BTW, what do you mean by "3) invisible boundaries and strictness"?

Do you find that eating "enough" at meals actually makes you desire food less in between meals, or does it just helps you justify not giving in to snack-thoughts when they come up? Because honestly, unless I am extremely busy or involved in something fun, I still have thoughts to snack in between meals. I just normally don't take the thoughts seriously because I know I'll be sorry if I give in. I'll either feel less ready for my meal or I'll realize I could get too easily drawn back into the habit. But the thoughts of snacking have never completely gone away. Hope that's not too discouraging to you. It's not at all what it was like being on a diet and worrying all the time. And as I've said before, it's more of a reflection on other problems I have in my life. Your experience could be very different.

oolala53 wrote:You are too kind!

BTW, what do you mean by "3) invisible boundaries and strictness"?

Do you find that eating "enough" at meals actually makes you desire food less in between meals, or does it just helps you justify not giving in to snack-thoughts when they come up?

Hmmm I think a little of both. I have stuff in the house and might think of it occasionally but for some reason I'm to the point where I have told myself not allowed yet....and because I'm eating enough helps me to stay strong...it really does help. I try to eat more protein with my meals seems to help with satiety.

When I read no s he talked about the invisible fence around our n days and being strict but not in an abusive way.

I'm reading the Brain over Binge...from what I'm gathering so far is all the dieting over the years causes binge eating brought on by our survival instincts..hence the overwhelming urges to eat...more to come I'm sure on the topic.

For the moment I seem to be in a good space for n day's...my s day's r another story.

I hope that no matter how many red days, you will not quit this time! For all you know, you might have had another over the top month, followed by a slow tapering. But you don't get to find out what you are capable of because you don't see that "failure" is not a stop sign, it's tuition -- it's all a learning opportunity.

I do wonder what non-food related lessons are waiting for you. For me there have been so many, and I only got them by staying here and pushing through. Turns out I'm "hungry" every day for many things, only one of them is food.

Good luck and here's to 12 months of No S in 2014!

We're all learning new lessons.

I've been around since 2008. I recently realized that I do better following the 3 rules with no tweaking or adding mods. In 2009, 2010, 2011,2012 and most of 2013, I didn't think I was suited for Vanilla S.

3 rules with no mods works for me. I wouldn't have known this without starting and stopping and taking detours and dead ends along the way.

Dieting is not the only thing that a can bring on compulsive eating. What is unlikely is that it represents any real need, even nutritionally.

The cure is the same, though it can sometimes help to have a way of interpreting experience so that we choose the supportive way.

It's likely that no matter what the reason for wanting to overeat, it can be reduced by moderation over time. And what moderation is will likely change over time, too.

I'm confident you're ready for the long haul, which may include fantastic reds and despairing moments. Temporary!

oolala53 wrote:Dieting is not the only thing that a can bring on compulsive eating. What is unlikely is that it represents any real need, even nutritionally.

I'm confident you're ready for the long haul, which may include fantastic reds and despairing moments. Temporary!

After reading further I found this "those who binge without dieting may have been overeaters and binge eaters from childhood, because of learning or because of a genetically strong appetite and attraction to highly palatable food and rewarding experiences..."

I'm sure many other things happen as well to start the process..for me it was both overindulging at my grandmother's house when food was scarce at home and first true starvation diet at 22.

I'm really finding the book eye opening...

Thanks again for the confident words they mean a lot to me....