Everyday Systems

Hi all,

I have a quick question about the upcoming December craziness, what with Christmas, New Year etc. It's not so much the actual days of the holidays which I can handle (they're clear S days). It's more: what do you do with the whole month before? My diary is already much fuller compared to other months, in terms of pre-christmas parties, drinks, meetings of various kinds etc. Do you try to stick to one plate of food? Do you make extra S days during the week? Do you do S events?

All in all, it confuses me & worries me...
Looking forward to hearing ideas.
Cassie

I have it pretty easy in that most of my parties are on the weekend.

I think the biggest thing is simply to set intention in advance. Look at the possible dates/events, and decide how many can be S days. Think about what will feel good at the time, and what will feel good later.

If you decide to simply maintain over the holidays, that's fine. If you decide to even gain a little, that's fine, if you won't regret it later. If you decide to be ultra-strict, that's fine too, as long as you won't hate yourself during.

That balance will be a little different for everyone. I try to keep as many N days as I can (like, the Friday between Thanksgiving and the weekend) and look for N-compliant treats - things that are perfectly reasonable to have, but still feel festive (like, shrimp for dinner!). I want to at least maintain, and continuing to lose would be nice - but I'll accept a slower pace. Mostly, I want to enjoy what food I do eat, and I know that when I start stuffing myself, I lose that enjoyment. So, I'm careful about choices.

I guess you have to choose what will make you happy, and then be happy with what you chose. And I find decision-making easier to do in advance.

I keep my N days. I go to town on the wonderful savory foods available at the parties and most on weekdays are at appropriate times. I still save sweets for weekends except for Christmas Eve and Day. I'm never sorry for what I didn't eat.

I'm going to stick to n days except for the main days Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Years Day. I think most my parties will be on weekends anyway so I don't think this should be much of an issue

I son't stick to the No Sweets rule in December (I do follow no snacks and no seconds) but the sweet needs to be utterly celebration worthy and I need to be completely present when eating it.

Needless to say I often end up sticking to N days as I'm the most picky when it comes to sweets in December and snacks have never been my problem. So while I would happily eat a bag of M&Ms on a normal S day for December it would have to be a homemade chocolate pudding with a melting middle for example.

Interestingly, I often lose weight that month but I never managed to stick to those rules for the whole year which is why NoS is my saviour for the other 11 months

Tell me more about this chocolate pudding with a "melting middle"!

I allow myself more bites on days that we go away or have Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners/days. This gives me an S day, but gives me a place to stop!

I'm pretty new to this (>1 year) so this is my first time through the holidays. I'm using the predetermined s day rule.

So Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Years Eve are the big ones. My brother's birthday is in there too. We usually celebrate on Xmas Eve, but some times the day after Xmas too. So I'll assess when we find out the plan.

Then I have my work holiday party on a Friday at dinner time and am taking more of the s event approach to it. If I have an s prior to it on that day, then the day will be red.

I think I'll do what I've done for the last few years and follow the example of the French: If I am served food, I'll eat what I am served, including dessert. If I get to choose what I eat I'll make the best choices I can.

Zoid-- I just noticed your signature line is similar to what my new motto is! Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

My December plan includes FOUR (yes, four, count 'em) pre-planned non-weekend S days. I don't want to set myself up for failure, and this is my first holiday season on NoS, so I'm setting the bar quite low!

Just took a hard look at my calendar. Until the week of Chistmas, there's only one N-day party (office party next week). I intend to make that an "S-event" - one S at the potluck, the rest of the day normal N.

The week from Chistmas to New Year's is a bit much, though. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, extended-family-Christmas, (then a weekend - normally S-days) and then New Year's itself, where we host a huge brunch.

I am thinking that I will allow 2 genuine S-days and sprinkle 3-5 S-events over the rest of those days. Enough to feel indulged, not enough to be a slippery-slope.

Ugh, December has only recently started (only the 6th today) and already I've had far too many evenings out / including a bit of overeating & not properly following NoS principles.... really disappointed with myself after I was doing so well. This week in particular has been pretty bad, what with these evenings out, being exhausted & working far too hard.... It feels i'm behind in everything at the moment!

It seems like this year is particularly awkward, as the holidays all fall smack in the middle of the week. Given your update, it might be good to jot a few notes on your calendar about what events you didn't feel so good about, and some time in the new year do a "post mortem" and see what you might want to do differently next December. Sort of to avoid beating yourself up, but turning it into information for a positive action plan for the future. (I notice that in 2015 all the December holidays fall on weekend days!!)
I had a lot of vacation S days in November, so am planning on more of an S events approach to December, rather than going all out all day on even the holidays themselves. I don't think I need go eat up to that overstuffed feeling even on Christmas, as I've gained a few pounds in the past month!

I humbly suggest that members calmly and soberly make a pro/con list of sticking to N days on all but two extra days this month. You may perhaps decide AHEAD OF TIME to allow for three or four days instead, but don't underestimate the value of finding out that you don't need much more than than two.

I think you will find that you actually give up very little for adhering to N days even during this season. For one thing, many thin people don't eat much more on these days because it doesn't take much to get very full and very full is a feeling they really don't like. You are cultivating that sense of eating.

Secondly, you can have generous amounts of delicious savory foods at meals and reinforce the ability to celebrate without the taste of sweet. You might have to alter the timing of meal events, but that is minor. You can sip on delightful beverages and engage in conversation and/or just taking in the visual and auditory events in between meals. (Fill up on life, not food.)

You can rest content that you are full, remember the meal before, and contemplate the one coming up while you watch others get too full while permasnacking. Are they really enjoying themselves more than you are? I doubt it, but you don't have to be smug about it.

Imagine being able to practice letting your imagination run away with the pleasure you will feel from not overeating instead of with the pleasure you will get from just chewing and swallowing that extra food. That pleasure lasts for a few minutes. The pleasure of not overeating lasts for hours.

Instead of dwelling on how you would be depriving yourself if you don't indulge a lot, think about what you might be depriving yourself of if you overeat: reinforcing the feeling that you don't need to be able to eat everything to have a good time, the continued uncomfortable feeling of having eaten too much, the idea that you are in charge of eating instead of the other way around, and the sumptuous feeling of vitality and "lightness" that comes from eating "enough" or maybe just a little more ON YOUR MEAL PLATE than usual.

Do not let the term "S event" fool you. Any day on which you have an S is an S day. S day does not necessarily mean having S-es all day long. You don't even have to have any S-es on an S day for it to be an S day. On S days, you ALLOW yourself an S if it will truly enhance your pleasure. An S is not REQUIRED.

In other words, it's still an inside job. No S is about having your intake change your experience and thus your attitude. But you have to actually do it for the change to happen, and it may take a little (or, honestly, a lot) longer than you want.

But if all this sounds excruciating, then have at it! If you keep up with N days, eventually, overeating will become excruciating, and you'll consciously or unconsciously be able to CHOOSE to eat less even during the holidays just for your own sanity. If not this year, then...

oolala53 wrote:I humbly suggest that members calmly and soberly make a pro/con list of sticking to N days on all but two extra days this month. You may perhaps decide AHEAD OF TIME to allow for three or four days instead, but don't underestimate the value of finding out that you don't need much more than than two.

I think you will find that you actually give up very little for adhering to N days even during this season. For one thing, many thin people don't eat much more on these days because it doesn't take much to get very full and very full is a feeling they really don't like. You are cultivating that sense of eating.

Secondly, you can have generous amounts of delicious savory foods at meals and reinforce the ability to celebrate without the taste of sweet. You might have to alter the timing of meal events, but that is minor. You can sip on delightful beverages and engage in conversation and/or just taking in the visual and auditory events in between meals. (Fill up on life, not food.)

You can rest content that you are full, remember the meal before, and contemplate the one coming up while you watch others get too full while permasnacking. Are they really enjoying themselves more than you are? I doubt it, but you don't have to be smug about it.

Imagine being able to practice letting your imagination run away with the pleasure you will feel from not overeating instead of with the pleasure you will get from just chewing and swallowing that extra food. That pleasure lasts for a few minutes. The pleasure of not overeating lasts for hours.

Instead of dwelling on how you would be depriving yourself if you don't indulge a lot, think about what you might be depriving yourself of if you overeat: reinforcing the feeling that you don't need to be able to eat everything to have a good time, the continued uncomfortable feeling of having eaten too much, the idea that you are in charge of eating instead of the other way around, and the sumptuous feeling of vitality and "lightness" that comes from eating "enough" or maybe just a little more ON YOUR MEAL PLATE than usual.

Do not let the term "S event" fool you. Any day on which you have an S is an S day. S day does not necessarily mean having S-es all day long. You don't even have to have any S-es on an S day for it to be an S day. On S days, you ALLOW yourself an S if it will truly enhance your pleasure. An S is not REQUIRED.

In other words, it's still an inside job. No S is about having your intake change your experience and thus your attitude. But you have to actually do it for the change to happen, and it may take a little (or, honestly, a lot) longer than you want.

But if all this sounds excruciating, then have at it! If you keep up with N days, eventually, overeating will become excruciating, and you'll consciously or unconsciously be able to CHOOSE to eat less even during the holidays just for your own sanity. If not this year, then...

Philosophically awesome!

My modification to NO S is to have a small amount (few bites) of dessert daily after a meal. I need the same thing over and over and over daily as far as routine/ritual goes to make it.

During Christmas and Hanukkah the same daily practice works for me. I eat my 3 meals and I have a little dessert. I can choose several desserts if I want to and have a bite of each like I did last night.

Holidays are just one reason doing NO S 3 meals a day seven days a week 365 days a year works so well for me.

I totally needed to read this..thanks Oolala. You are a true Ambassador of No S!

oolala53 wrote:Imagine being able to practice letting your imagination run away with the pleasure you will feel from not overeating instead of with the pleasure you will get from just chewing and swallowing that extra food. That pleasure lasts for a few minutes. The pleasure of not overeating lasts for hours.

Instead of dwelling on how you would be depriving yourself if you don't indulge a lot, think about what you might be depriving yourself of if you overeat: reinforcing the feeling that you don't need to be able to eat everything to have a good time, the continued uncomfortable feeling of having eaten too much, the idea that you are in charge of eating instead of the other way around, and the sumptuous feeling of vitality and "lightness" that comes from eating "enough" or maybe just a little more ON YOUR MEAL PLATE than usual.

Oolala, thanks so very much for your wonderful post.

I was particularly helped by your thinking about S days / S events. I too am realising that too many exceptions--more S days-- and too many (supposed) 'S events' is a mistake. It's exactly the area where I fail time & time again & then need to return to NoS yet again, starting from square one it feels... I think for NoS to finally fully work for me, I'll have to strictly stick to N days versus S days, clearly clearly clearly delineated.

Many many thanks again!

3-0-7 girl - nice to "see" you around again!!! Amazing to see someone whose mod is still going strong. Such an inspiration. Have you been doing your version of No S all this time?

do what you feel comfortable with. for me, it's just having a little extra on the non weekend S days... so like christmas day, new years day maybe even christmas eve, new years eve, if it appears, have a nice little dessert or something. for me it is just not go overboard. have a fun holiday and enjoy some stuff without total excess. also there are weekends in there too like the 28-29 and i'm sure i'll just treat that like normal s days. this is a hard time of year and if you feel you want to enjoy 1 or 2 treats i'm sure that's fine. i am just going to treat it as not overeatign or going overboard but just sampling a little of each thing for my enjoyment. that is the key, my enjoyment. overeating is not my enjoyment.

I'm already struggling this month (3 reds and 2 yellows).

I think that my mom's reprimands of "clean your plate because children in China are starving" are overcoming me whenever I see free food. Also, I may be a closet cheapskate.

The alcohol doesn't help. It lowers my food control.

I vow that I'm going to crackdown on myself for the rest of the month and stick with vainella NOS and Glass Ceiling.

oh i realized you are talking about non S days with this... well what i would say for holiday parties is just do moderation. maybe try a few things so it doesn't look rude or turn down a few things here and there as long as it doesn't get out of hand for you. we have a work potluck next week and i'm thinking it will be pretty annoying like that too but planning on avoiding desserts and just trying the food people bring that is non sweets.