Can't Start, or Don't Want to Start?

[sarahkay]

I am 18 years old and a freshman in college. I commute, so I'm still living at home. I know No S could work for me, and it's the best thing I've ever come across. The only thing I might even kind of be able to stick with, but every time i say "today I'm starting No S" I end up failing. I get to a point during that day where I only want to eat what I want, when I want, and as much as I want.

I know I could resist, but it's like half of me doesn't want to resist, doesn't want to change. But another part of me wants to be normal again, and be a normal sized person again. I don't know what my deal is. Am i not ready to make this step? I don't understand why I choose to not succeed.

[ZippaDee]

You've taken a step in the right direction by posting here. Just do it TODAY. And then come back here and report in. Then do the same thing tomorrow. The folks here are very supportive. You will find after a few days that it really isn't all that hard. I procrastinated for a loooooong time. It just takes one small step in the right direction. Go Sarah! Go Sarah! Go Sarah!

[marygrace]

Welcome. College can certainly be a difficult time to establish regular, moderate eating habits--you'd be doing yourself a world of good by doing something like NoS. As for sticking to it, try HabitCal. Something about seeing those green days rack up made it easier for me to adhere to the rules in the beginning instead of abandoning my plan halfway through the day to give in to a random urge to snack or eat dessert. Once you've gotten some consistent greens, you won't want to ruin them with a red.

[sarahkay]

thanks for your support! i'm definitely going to try starting today, and I've got my green colored pencil ready to color in today on my calendar! Wish me luck!

[sarah.grace]

You can totally do this! Make it through today and mark that baby green!!

I started on a Thursday, so it was easier to get through those 2 days knowing that as soon as the weekend hit, it was S days. Then, on Monday when I went back to N days, I already had a successful day (or 2) under my belt, so it gave me confidence that I could make it through to the next weekend.

Keep us posted- I'm excited for you! I love how we go through the same things in this journey and support each other.

On a random note: What are you studying in college?

[Nicest of the Damned]

I get to a point during that day where I only want to eat what I want, when I want, and as much as I want.

When you get to that point, what happens?

Have you tried making it harder to get food at that point? Don't hang out in the kitchen, except at meal times. Don't keep food with you, or change for the vending machine if that's the problem. Don't hang out at coffee shops. Go to the library, or another place that doesn't sell food, instead. Just a little bit of extra time required to get food might give you time to ask yourself, "do I really want to eat this?".

Try drinking some water or another non-caloric beverage, such as tea or coffee without milk or sugar, when that urge to eat strikes. Thirst sometimes masquerades as hunger. So does boredom. Getting up and getting something to drink is just as good for boredom as getting something to eat.

Does that urge always strike around the same time every day? You may have gotten used to snacking then. Try arranging your schedule so you're not in easy reach of food at that time. Maybe study or do homework in the library then, maybe take a walk. It will take a while to get used to not having your usual snack then, but the day will come when that time will come and go without your being hungry.

One technique I like is taken from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). When a food craving hits, say to yourself, "I notice that my mind is having the craving for X again". Notice that the craving is there, but mentally step back from it. You don't need to do anything to make it go away. It will go away on its own eventually, as all mental states do. A key idea here is that it's your mind that is craving whatever, not your body. Cravings don't always come because your body needs some nutrient, the way some people think it works (or want to think it works). People wouldn't crave junk food, if that were the way it worked. You want whatever it is you're craving, you don't need it.

You might try telling yourself, when that urge to eat strikes, that the next meal will be in just a few hours. You won't starve to death, if you don't eat RIGHT NOW. That helped me, when I was starting No S.

[oolala53]

All of these suggestions are good. It might also help to know that there is a chemical basis to your desires that goes all the way back to early human times. It uses some of the chemical basis for true hunger, so it's not surprising that it is hard to resist. I'm saying this because you think your failure is some kind of hint that you don't want to succeed. Not true. It's just that a conscious decision is not backed up by this chemical circuitry to keep it strong. However, sticking to Vanilla No S will start short-circuiting the cycle, if I can mix my metaphors. This thought really helped me at the beginning to white-knuckle it through some hard times. Part of the reason you give in is because at those moments, it's hard to keep in focus that it's worth it, but it is. Eventually, it will be a sacrifice less and less of the time, though there will be flare-ups! But it is not a matter of your not wanting success. Just keep going!

[Nicest of the Damned]

All of these suggestions are good. It might also help to know that there is a chemical basis to your desires that goes all the way back to early human times. It uses some of the chemical basis for true hunger, so it's not surprising that it is hard to resist. I'm saying this because you think your failure is some kind of hint that you don't want to succeed. Not true. It's just that a conscious decision is not backed up by this chemical circuitry to keep it strong.

As I said in another thread, modern humans in first world countries are like Antarctic penguins trying to live in the tropics. For nearly all of human history, the problem was that there wasn't enough food around. We developed all kinds of biological, behavioral, and cultural adaptations to deal with that. Now, those of us in the developed world are living in an environment where there is too much food around. I've seen estimates that, in the US, the food industry produces enough for each resident of the US to have something like 3500 calories per day. Antarctic penguins (there are non-Antarctic species of penguins) are adapted to an environment where there's not enough heat. You move them to the tropics, all of their adaptations to conserve heat become liabilities in an environment where the problem is too much heat.

Humans are adaptable, though. Just look at the range of environments we manage to live in on Earth. I'm sure we'll manage to adapt to an environment with too much food. It may not be easy, or comfortable, but adapting to living in the Arctic probably wasn't for the ancestors of the Inuit, either.

Not wanting to succeed isn't the only reason people don't succeed at something. Sometimes, they don't succeed because what they are trying to do is difficult. Losing weight and keeping it off is not easy. Just look around to see the number of people who fail at it. If it were easy to lose weight and keep it off, you wouldn't see nearly as many people who are overweight or obese.

[wosnes]

Welcome. College can certainly be a difficult time to establish regular, moderate eating habits--you'd be doing yourself a world of good by doing something like NoS.

It may not be easy to cultivate good eating habits while you're in college, but it could be easier than most other times. If you wait for the "right time" to do it, it will never get done.

After college, there's the new job and its stresses. Then you get married and that creates a whole new set of challenges. Then come children -- and more daily stresses.

All of these things are good things, but all come with challenges that can make creating new habits more difficult.

So, there's no time like the present. And, if not now, when?

[sarahkay]

thank you for all your advice. I may not be doing a particularly good job at No S every day, but by trying I can tell I'm still eating considerably less food. So maybe eventually I'll be able to truly have a No S day, and then maybe it won't be as hard, and then maybe I won't even realize it. that would be nice :]