Hi, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so discouraged. I know what a difficult place that can be: wake up every morning full of determination and go to bed every night feeling like a failure. It gets old fast.
Anyone just think that they just need to stop and accept themselves as they are?
I'd like to suggest you can both accept yourself where you are and at the same time strive for improvement. I don't know if you have kids but I often find it useful to think of them when I'm deciding how to talk to myself. I have kids that are 12, 15 and 16 years old. Do I love them where they are? Yes, no doubt and unwavering
but do I expect them to continue to learn and grow and end up in a different place than they are currently? Again, Yes and unwavering. I figure adults are really just kids that got older. We are all continuing to grow and experience new things and sometimes those new things are really difficult but in the end, we'll end up in a different place than when we started.
I'd challenge you to think about the way you talk to yourself. I really believe the way we talk to ourselves is of utmost importance in terms of eventual success. I try to keep two words uppermost in my mind when talking to anybody.
1) Honesty - because without honesty what I say is worthless and
2) Kindness - because no one (not even yourself) is ever changed through nagging and shaming.
Please understand that I don't mean allowing yourself to get away with dishonesty. If you aren't following your plan then own up to it then sit down and figure out why. Are your goals too lofty? Start smaller. I mean seriously, ridiculously small. All day no-s not achievable for you right now? Try making it from breakfast to lunch. If you make it, then say the day is a success. Do that for a month then try adding in lunch to dinner no-s. Is something else holding you back? Sometimes it is something seemingly unrelated to food. Work or family stresses can also undermine our efforts. Perhaps if you can let us know what seems to hold you back from achieving your plans we can offer suggestions that are geared more specifically toward what you need.
Always end up back here
I'm guessing that the fact that you end up here means that in your heart you have decided that this is the appropriate path for you to follow. It's okay if you have a million starts and stops. I wish you could see my habitcal
it so soooo packed with red but I never think of it as failing (despite that being the official terminology) I just think of it as a step off the path. I can get back on the path at any moment I choose and so can you. Really, you can. Just be honest about the amount of weight loss you can realistically expect if you step off regularly.
. . . stop and accept themselves as they are?
I totally encourage you to do just that. Put away the scale, put away the diet books (even Reinhard's) and focus on eating 3 meals a day no snacks no sweets and no seconds - except sometimes on days that start with s. - because that's the healthy thing to do and for no other reason. I bet if you were a kid you wouldn't expect them to jump through all kinds of hoops or follow complicated diet plans to be healthy.
I bet you'd just tell them, eat a healthy meal and go play. So, that's my best advice to you. . . go eat 3 healthy meals today and go outside to play.
I do apologize if I got a little preachy. Naturally, you can disregard the entire thing if it doesn't speak to your needs.
Best of luck to you and kind regards.