I have been looking for something here on the bulletin boards that I haven’t found. So, I’ve decided to put down some of my own thoughts. I'm interested in celebrating the non-food-related benefits of No S.
For the record, Yes, I’ve lost weight on No S (about 3 lbs per month, now about 20 lbs). Yes, I’m enjoying food more. Yes, I am eating more healthfully.
audiomama's "Lessons Learned from NoS"
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
audiomama's "Lessons Learned from NoS"
Last edited by audiomama on Tue Jun 08, 2010 3:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Too much of anything is not good.
Yesterday I turned down a “prestigious†fellowship (job training with low salary) because I recognized that “Too much of any good thing is not a good thing.†I have often stretched myself too thin because I hate to turn any opportunity down. Because of No S, I now have concrete experience of how food can be even more delicious when I’ve planned and avoided excess. It was an easy leap to see how an opportunity could be even more rewarding when taken at the right time. I am not able to leave my job to do the fellowship right now because I’m a wage slave, but perhaps I can plan a leave of absence next year. Regardless, I am happy with my decision and proud I was able to resist the temptation to overload myself.
Success breeds success, small steps count!
I’ve also learned from No S (I started on the day I first understood the program) that I don’t need a huge plan for everything; sometimes jumping in with “better than before†steps is good enough and that I CAN do even things that are difficult. Experiencing the success of sticking with No S even when it was a challenge has given me more ability to persevere on other tasks. I see the benefits of these lessons when I’m feeling overwhelmed by day-to-day tasks. Instead of giving up, I’ve learned to write a plan for what I will do (in 15 min increments if necessary), with planned breaks (learned from S days), and stick to it. Even if I don’t complete every task, I can celebrate sticking to my plan and making progress on everything.
I can face my problems and not push them down with food.
As I started NoS, I noticed that sometimes I would CRAVE a sweet/snack. Because I had a plan (wait until dinner or drink some milk) I was able to resist. Then I was able to see that these cravings almost always happened when work wasn’t going well or when I was upset with someone in my family. My brain was trying to trick me with a distraction! Now when I feel a sweet craving, I stop and look for barriers to what I’m trying to do. (Do I need help? More information? A different tool?)I think I’ve saved weeks worth of avoidance on NoS.
Great idea for a topic.
There are so many thing I have learned (am learning), but in lack of time, right now I'll write one:
I'm a better Mom. Weird, huh? I can spend less time consumed (time and in my head) with either what I'm going to eat/what I want to avoid/what I just binged on.
I'm much more PRESENT for my kids.
Plus, I'm CHOOSING better, more quality stuff to do with them.
I keep repeating that there are things in life that are:
-good
-better
-best.
I'm trying to choose BEST from now on.
Thanks, NO S.
I'm sure I"ll be back for more lessons-learned.
There are so many thing I have learned (am learning), but in lack of time, right now I'll write one:
I'm a better Mom. Weird, huh? I can spend less time consumed (time and in my head) with either what I'm going to eat/what I want to avoid/what I just binged on.
I'm much more PRESENT for my kids.
Plus, I'm CHOOSING better, more quality stuff to do with them.
I keep repeating that there are things in life that are:
-good
-better
-best.
I'm trying to choose BEST from now on.
Thanks, NO S.
I'm sure I"ll be back for more lessons-learned.
Liz
I'm a better Mom.
It sounds like you have a lot to be proud of, lbaucom! I like that your choices start with good and go to best; that leaves room for "good enough" when best isn't possible.lbaucom wrote: I'm a better Mom... much more PRESENT for my kids.... CHOOSING better, more quality stuff to do with them.
I am actually a better Mom for my kids, too, although a lot of it in our familiy is actually around food. Before NoS I didn't plan ahead for snacks, I would let my kids tell me when they were hungry and then feed them whatever non-junk (e.g., bagels) they asked for. Usually it was carb-heavy and they wouldn't be hungry for protein or veggies at dinner. Now I'm offering them lighter snacks when those snacks will still satisfy and early enough that they're hungry (but not starving) at dinner time. It's been a slow transition, but mealtimes are so much more pleasant when they're hungry enough to eat.
Our meals are also earlier because I'm hungry enough to decide what I want; my husband and I used to spend half of most evenings saying "I don't know, what do you want to eat?" Since dinner is earlier, we have more time together before bed and aren't as tempted to let the kids stay up, so they're more on track in the morning, etc. Isn't it amazing how NoS ripples out?
What a lovely thread!
I will have to think about this - it deserves a thoughtful post. But a quick reaction is that I've been learning moderation. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, which can be crippling in the extreme (hey, if I don't try I can't fail). No-S has helped me learn to set more reasonable goals (which lead to more success than UNreasonable ones), to pick myself up faster when I don't reach them, and not to waste a lot of energy in self-recrimination ("mark it and move on!").
Very transferable skills/attitudes.
I will have to think about this - it deserves a thoughtful post. But a quick reaction is that I've been learning moderation. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, which can be crippling in the extreme (hey, if I don't try I can't fail). No-S has helped me learn to set more reasonable goals (which lead to more success than UNreasonable ones), to pick myself up faster when I don't reach them, and not to waste a lot of energy in self-recrimination ("mark it and move on!").
Very transferable skills/attitudes.
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butterfly1000
- Posts: 303
- Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:37 pm
Re: I'm a better Mom.
I like that -- leaving room for "good enough". For the longest time I've tried for "the best" all the time (unsuccessfully) and it resulted in "the worse". Recently I've just been trying for "good enough" and hopefully it will lead to "the best" -- maybe not every day, but some of the days.audiomama wrote:It sounds like you have a lot to be proud of, lbaucom! I like that your choices start with good and go to best; that leaves room for "good enough" when best isn't possible.
Don't confuse the "best" with perfection -- they're not the same thing.
Doing your best just means putting forth your best effort. I used to tell my kids to do their best in school. If that meant they got a C in some subject, so be it -- as long as they had done their best.
Doing your best can change frequently, too. Your best when your stressed might be completely different from your best when you're relaxed or maybe just have more time to concentrate on the task at hand, no matter what it is. It's different when you're not feeling well as opposed to when you feel great. Relax. Cut yourself a little slack. Don't aim for perfection.
One of my favorite sayings is "Perfectionists waste too much time trying to be perfect. Good enough is good enough." Perfection is pretty much impossible.
I'm not a perfectionist, never have been and hope I never will be. With rare exceptions, good enough is good enough.
Scroll down to read Perfection, Excellence and Good Enough. It's #3.
"Sstriving for excellence" doesn't mean striving for perfection. It's extremely good.
Doing your best just means putting forth your best effort. I used to tell my kids to do their best in school. If that meant they got a C in some subject, so be it -- as long as they had done their best.
Doing your best can change frequently, too. Your best when your stressed might be completely different from your best when you're relaxed or maybe just have more time to concentrate on the task at hand, no matter what it is. It's different when you're not feeling well as opposed to when you feel great. Relax. Cut yourself a little slack. Don't aim for perfection.
One of my favorite sayings is "Perfectionists waste too much time trying to be perfect. Good enough is good enough." Perfection is pretty much impossible.
I'm not a perfectionist, never have been and hope I never will be. With rare exceptions, good enough is good enough.
Scroll down to read Perfection, Excellence and Good Enough. It's #3.
"Sstriving for excellence" doesn't mean striving for perfection. It's extremely good.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
This IS a great topic!
I've learned lots on No S, but two things stand out:
1) Good things come to she who STARTS! If I want to achieve something, the most important thing is that I start. I may do things wrong, I may start in the wrong place, I may need to change things later, but in the end all that matters is that I start.
2) I CAN take a long-term view of things. I've committed to doing No S for the rest of my life, and I find that very liberating. A long-term perspective makes so many of the details irrelevant and takes a lot of day-to-day stress out of my life. It kind of relates to the perfectionism posts. I've learned that it doesn't greatly matter what I eat on any specific day; what matters is what I eat on MOST days.
I've learned lots on No S, but two things stand out:
1) Good things come to she who STARTS! If I want to achieve something, the most important thing is that I start. I may do things wrong, I may start in the wrong place, I may need to change things later, but in the end all that matters is that I start.
2) I CAN take a long-term view of things. I've committed to doing No S for the rest of my life, and I find that very liberating. A long-term perspective makes so many of the details irrelevant and takes a lot of day-to-day stress out of my life. It kind of relates to the perfectionism posts. I've learned that it doesn't greatly matter what I eat on any specific day; what matters is what I eat on MOST days.
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butterfly1000
- Posts: 303
- Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:37 pm
You're right. I tell my kids the same thing.wosnes wrote:Don't confuse the "best" with perfection -- they're not the same thing.
Doing your best just means putting forth your best effort. I used to tell my kids to do their best in school. If that meant they got a C in some subject, so be it -- as long as they had done their best.
I guess with No S it should be the same thing -- do the best we can under the specific circumstances that we're faced with -- and those can change from day to day.
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sophiasapientia
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:09 am
- Location: Michigan
Great thread! 
One of the most important lessons I've taken away from No S is that no problem in my life is completely insurmountable. I've learned that making minor adjustments can make a significant difference over time and that by breaking seemingly huge problems/tasks into small, managable steps, I'm able to accomplish things that once seemed impossible. Now that No S has become a well-ingrained habit, I'm excited to apply this wisdom into other areas of my life that need attention.
One of the most important lessons I've taken away from No S is that no problem in my life is completely insurmountable. I've learned that making minor adjustments can make a significant difference over time and that by breaking seemingly huge problems/tasks into small, managable steps, I'm able to accomplish things that once seemed impossible. Now that No S has become a well-ingrained habit, I'm excited to apply this wisdom into other areas of my life that need attention.
Restarted No S (3rd times a charm!) January 2010 at 145 lbs
Focus on what's important.
These lessons are really motivating to me! Thanks!
Another lesson that I realized applies to parenting... I can follow No S because the rules are clear and reasonable. The other day I caught myself giving long, complicated, unclear directions to one of my kids. Thinking of No S and Everyday Systems, I decided to focus and make the most important tasks clear. Success!
Another lesson that I realized applies to parenting... I can follow No S because the rules are clear and reasonable. The other day I caught myself giving long, complicated, unclear directions to one of my kids. Thinking of No S and Everyday Systems, I decided to focus and make the most important tasks clear. Success!
Perspective is everything
I just reached the weight I was before my second child was born. When I was this weight 4 years ago, I felt embarrassed and "too fat." Now, at the same weight, I feel confident and proud. My body is similar, but my attitude is completely different. Yet another lesson that applies to other difficult situations in my life. How one looks at a situation really does make all the difference!