I gave up dieting almost a year ago, tired of the yo yo and the constant obsession with food. When I found No S in May, I breathed a sigh of relief.
But I've found it so hard to keep up. That is to say, my No S Diet still makes the same yo you pattern as the diets of old. And because the weight loss is more gradual, I am no longer maintaining my weight by losing, then gaining the same 3 kgs. Now I lose 1 kg and then gain 2. See what I mean??
And now, 4kgs up and weighing more than I ever have in my life, I find that I need help. I really do believe that No S is the answer for me. But I just have a hard time creating enough discipline to make it to the point where the diet becomes habit.
Vacations and weekends are fine. When I'm not busy and not stressed It's fairly easy to just eat 3 meals a day. But during my work day, which is so busy and erratic that I tend to eat at my desk, or quickly between meetings (and in which the moments to have lunch are either too early (11am) or very late (3 pm)), I just crack.
I have tried to do two mini-meals, one at 11 and one at 3, but that seems to lead to a snack mentality. I eat too much at both times and still never feel full (mostly because I'm not eating with others). So as I write, perhaps that's part of the problem. I think that in order to feel that I've eaten, I need to eat with other people, a hearty and leasurly meal that just is impossible where I work.
Has anyone else been stymied by this problem? I just feel so miserable about my weight and my inability to stick with a plan that makes so much sense.
Betty.
Having a hard time
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Random brainstorming...
- What can you do to make it more of a "real" lunch? Do you pack or buy? I do better when I pack something I like, even when I split eating on yoga days.
- Will altering your out-of-work meals help? A bigger breakfast so you can wait for lunch, etc?
- If you're using food for social needs, how else can you satisfy those social needs? If you're using food for a break or transition, what else can you do?
- What can you do to rearrange your work schedule to make space for a better lunch?
- If you can't fully break a habit, limit it. Make a short list of "allowed" snacks and stick to those only. Decide what snack time is the most critical to you, and allow a snack THEN (and only then).
Whatever you do, set yourself up for success. You can raise the bar after you can meet the first level.
Good luck.
- What can you do to make it more of a "real" lunch? Do you pack or buy? I do better when I pack something I like, even when I split eating on yoga days.
- Will altering your out-of-work meals help? A bigger breakfast so you can wait for lunch, etc?
- If you're using food for social needs, how else can you satisfy those social needs? If you're using food for a break or transition, what else can you do?
- What can you do to rearrange your work schedule to make space for a better lunch?
- If you can't fully break a habit, limit it. Make a short list of "allowed" snacks and stick to those only. Decide what snack time is the most critical to you, and allow a snack THEN (and only then).
Whatever you do, set yourself up for success. You can raise the bar after you can meet the first level.
Good luck.
betty you just need to do it, believe me i know about the yo yo dieting. take care of yourself and the rest will follow, maybe you need to change a few things in your life .
i was exactly the way you are and one day i just deceided to quit my job it was causing me the most stress.
i discovered that the job was what was making me fat and misserable. i sat down and really thought about what it was that i wanted. i wanted to go back to school. i'm much happier and now i'm concentrating on my weight thing, i fell much stronger now to take care of me.
i stopped the yo yo cycle and now am eating three meals a day for me thats a big change.
i was exactly the way you are and one day i just deceided to quit my job it was causing me the most stress.
i discovered that the job was what was making me fat and misserable. i sat down and really thought about what it was that i wanted. i wanted to go back to school. i'm much happier and now i'm concentrating on my weight thing, i fell much stronger now to take care of me.
i stopped the yo yo cycle and now am eating three meals a day for me thats a big change.
Betty,
I'm very sorry to hear you're having a hard time, but please don't let yourself feel miserable and beat yourself up -- not only does it feel really bad, but it winds up being the most ingenious of excuses for giving up completely. Just try to be practically minded about it.
First, try to diagnose the problem as precisely as you can: is it that you can't stick to your modified (5 meal) version of no-s, or that you do manage but those 5 meals just add up to too much in themselves?
I think you're saying it's the first, but also that the second, even when it does work, isn't feeling satisfying and is contributing to going completely off track.
And it sounds like lunch at work in particular is the problem -- that the unsatisfying extra mini meals are mostly an attempt to compensate for this.
So the big question seems to be, how do we make your workday lunch more satisfying?
There are two possibilities: work within the constraints of your current very demanding job or change those constraints. I'm assuming the second isn't very realistic (quit your job because of your DIET????) but it is important to keep in mind that it is a possibility, if only so you don't feel so trapped (a job that doesn't leave you time to eat probably has other cons as well).
But assuming, at least short term, that this isn't something that's likely to happen, let's focus on working within current constraints. First off, attitude: view it as an interesting challenge rather than an impending judgement, like you're on some survivor type game show rather than on trial. Then make a list of the criteria that an ideally satisfying lunch would consist of: filling, social, relaxed, unflanked by snacky mini meals. Then think of strategies that might always, usually, or sometimes result in each criterion being met, at least to some degree. Filling is the easiest. I usually eat my lunch at my desk in 5-10 minutes (oatmeal). If oatmeal doesn't appeal to you, there are plenty of other equally satisfying and quick alternatives (great masses of bulky and slowly digested fiber seems to be the key). Getting rid of snacky mini meals is also easy: replace them with a beverage, even a caloric one. If they're not helping you stick to the plan, they're no help at all. As for social, can you make lunch appointments with coworkers at least some days? Relaxed might be tricky, if you can never take a full hour. But can you take half an hour? 20 minutes? You CAN relax in 20 minutes, at least to some degree, if you KNOW that you have them.
Your strategy doesn't have to perfectly satisfy every criterion every time, but if it does often enough, and you can feel confident that it will continue to do so, that knowledge will give you sufficient morale to soldier on through the not quite satisfactory instances.
Once you've brainstormed a bit like this, come up with a clear plan and give it a shot for a good week or so. If it doesn't quite do the trick, try to put your finger on why not, brainstorm a bit more and come up with a revised plan. Feel free to think out of the no-s box, but remember that incremental changes are much safer than revolutionary ones. If you keep at this process, you will beat this problem.
Reinhard
I'm very sorry to hear you're having a hard time, but please don't let yourself feel miserable and beat yourself up -- not only does it feel really bad, but it winds up being the most ingenious of excuses for giving up completely. Just try to be practically minded about it.
First, try to diagnose the problem as precisely as you can: is it that you can't stick to your modified (5 meal) version of no-s, or that you do manage but those 5 meals just add up to too much in themselves?
I think you're saying it's the first, but also that the second, even when it does work, isn't feeling satisfying and is contributing to going completely off track.
And it sounds like lunch at work in particular is the problem -- that the unsatisfying extra mini meals are mostly an attempt to compensate for this.
So the big question seems to be, how do we make your workday lunch more satisfying?
There are two possibilities: work within the constraints of your current very demanding job or change those constraints. I'm assuming the second isn't very realistic (quit your job because of your DIET????) but it is important to keep in mind that it is a possibility, if only so you don't feel so trapped (a job that doesn't leave you time to eat probably has other cons as well).
But assuming, at least short term, that this isn't something that's likely to happen, let's focus on working within current constraints. First off, attitude: view it as an interesting challenge rather than an impending judgement, like you're on some survivor type game show rather than on trial. Then make a list of the criteria that an ideally satisfying lunch would consist of: filling, social, relaxed, unflanked by snacky mini meals. Then think of strategies that might always, usually, or sometimes result in each criterion being met, at least to some degree. Filling is the easiest. I usually eat my lunch at my desk in 5-10 minutes (oatmeal). If oatmeal doesn't appeal to you, there are plenty of other equally satisfying and quick alternatives (great masses of bulky and slowly digested fiber seems to be the key). Getting rid of snacky mini meals is also easy: replace them with a beverage, even a caloric one. If they're not helping you stick to the plan, they're no help at all. As for social, can you make lunch appointments with coworkers at least some days? Relaxed might be tricky, if you can never take a full hour. But can you take half an hour? 20 minutes? You CAN relax in 20 minutes, at least to some degree, if you KNOW that you have them.
Your strategy doesn't have to perfectly satisfy every criterion every time, but if it does often enough, and you can feel confident that it will continue to do so, that knowledge will give you sufficient morale to soldier on through the not quite satisfactory instances.
Once you've brainstormed a bit like this, come up with a clear plan and give it a shot for a good week or so. If it doesn't quite do the trick, try to put your finger on why not, brainstorm a bit more and come up with a revised plan. Feel free to think out of the no-s box, but remember that incremental changes are much safer than revolutionary ones. If you keep at this process, you will beat this problem.
Reinhard
Hi Betty,
Good luck to you, I doubt I could offer any further advice other than what has already been discussed, but can relate to the not having time to eat thing - what I've found is that you either have to make a point to get away from your desk to eat or bring foods which are easy to eat and which you can put down when something comes up.
Other times of course I'll just go upstairs to the break room and leave the phone for someone else to deal with
I recommend you do that too if you can!
p.s. I used to work with a lady who would go to her car and eat her lunch every day. She'd only go out to her car for about 15 minutes, but she made a point of doing it every day so she wouldn't be interupted It wasn't long before everyone got used to this habit and managed to cope without her for those 15 minutes (people are creatures of habit after all!).
Good luck to you, I doubt I could offer any further advice other than what has already been discussed, but can relate to the not having time to eat thing - what I've found is that you either have to make a point to get away from your desk to eat or bring foods which are easy to eat and which you can put down when something comes up.
I do this too, and often have to answer the phone while eating it. As such the main food I bring for lunch has to be: easy to eat from container with a spoon or fork (i.e. soft stuff like cooked rice, veggies, oatmeal) and not too pungent or garlicy (open plan office!). Other foods I eat at lunchtime also have to be easy to put down on a plate if I need to answer the phone, or if someone gives me some papers to deal with, e.g. cut apple, oat or rye crackers, nuts but nothing oily or messy. The ad-hoc nature of work sometimes means my lunch is interupted and eaten in stages (which is why I try to have a few different things).Filling is the easiest. I usually eat my lunch at my desk in 5-10 minutes (oatmeal).
Other times of course I'll just go upstairs to the break room and leave the phone for someone else to deal with
I recommend you do that too if you can!p.s. I used to work with a lady who would go to her car and eat her lunch every day. She'd only go out to her car for about 15 minutes, but she made a point of doing it every day so she wouldn't be interupted
It wasn't long before everyone got used to this habit and managed to cope without her for those 15 minutes (people are creatures of habit after all!).-
ThomsonsPier
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- Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2006 2:18 pm
- Location: Reading, UK
I second this approach. The only reason you need to stay at your desk over lunch is if you deem your work more important than your health. I have always made a point, since my first job, of taking my allocated time away from work. I'm lucky at the moment, since my current workplace has the same designated lunch hour for everyone and is fairly easygoing, so I can sit at my desk during lunch if I feel like it and I won't be interrupted.bonnieUK wrote:Other times of course I'll just go upstairs to the break room and leave the phone for someone else to deal with :) I recommend you do that too if you can!
p.s. I used to work with a lady who would go to her car and eat her lunch every day. She'd only go out to her car for about 15 minutes, but she made a point of doing it every day so she wouldn't be interupted :) It wasn't long before everyone got used to this habit and managed to cope without her for those 15 minutes (people are creatures of habit after all!).
In previous jobs, there has been more of a lunch-at-your-desk culture. I made sure then that I left my desk for the full hour of lunch, and neither my work nor my reputation within the company suffered. I have a friend who shared this mentality and he's now stupidly near the top of the corporate ladder simply from being more relaxed and healthy. I therefore infer (possibly erroneously and conveniently ignoring all evidence to the contrary) that taking your lunch hour away from you desk can help your career! It's important not to let other people's schedules interfere with your health.
What kind of work do you do? I gather from your responses that you're in an office type environment and it should therefore be comparatively easy to arrange things so that you can't be found during lunch. Booking time to eat in your office calendar might help, too.
ThomsonsPier
It's a trick. Get an axe.
It's a trick. Get an axe.
Is there no way you can get away from your desk for a long enough time to eat? Michael Pollan says we should eat at a table and a desk is not a table. It could be that part of the lack of satisfaction you get from your meals and not feeling full (or satisfied) is that you're doing other things while you eat. You're not making a break in your routine and savoring your food.
Here's more:
http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=2516
Here's more:
http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=2516
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."
i used to have exactly the same problem. and i do mean exactly, even the times (11 and 3p.m.) are the same. so i tried a bit of experimenting. i tried eating 4 meals. proper breakfast. smaller dinner and in between proper lunch and a snack of some fruit and a yogurt (that was supposed to be half of my dinner). i tried to do the latter two both ways. lunch at 11 and fruit with yogurt at 3 and the other way round. the second one proved to work for me. this is just an outcome, of course i experimented much more. i also found out that having a filling breakfast was the most important thing ever. so, to summarize now i have a king size breakfast at 6, as i get up really early, a healthy snack at 11 which i think of as a half of my dinner, then a satisfying lunch and a dinner when i remember all i've eaten at 11 and eat just the rest of what was planned for dinner that day. and the good news is: it works. well, at least for me.
i think you should try to find out what is best for you as well as stick to the rules. find something like a compromise. it is possible, just don't wait for someone to tell you exactly what to do. you know your body best. my way is just a one of many.
good luck
breakfast at 6, as i get up really early, a healthy snack at 11 which i think of as a half of my dinner, then a satisfying lunch and a dinner when i remember all i've eaten at 11 and eat just the rest of what was planned for dinner that day. and the good news is: it works. well, at least for me. i think you should try to find out what is best for you as well as stick to the rules. find something like a compromise. it is possible, just don't wait for someone to tell you exactly what to do. you know your body best. my way is just a one of many.
good luck
Thanks so much for all the advice. What I've gleaned from all of it is that I need to make a plan, and, as KCCC says so eloquently, treat myself gently. After all, that's what making time for a social lunch is, isn't it?
The problem is that I'm a teacher and a mom. So while the other teachers have conferences with students and parents after school, I have them during lunch and breaks so I can pick up my kids after school. If I don't have conferences I grade essays, prep. classes etc. In the end I tend to run around like a chicken without a head for most of the day.
Maybe I should delegate some days as eat-at my-desk between conference days, and some days where I go to the lunch room during lunch. If I make time for 20 minutes half of the days, maybe lunch will seem more satisfying and No S will feel more do-able.
Thanks again for all the words of wisdom.
Betty
The problem is that I'm a teacher and a mom. So while the other teachers have conferences with students and parents after school, I have them during lunch and breaks so I can pick up my kids after school. If I don't have conferences I grade essays, prep. classes etc. In the end I tend to run around like a chicken without a head for most of the day.
Maybe I should delegate some days as eat-at my-desk between conference days, and some days where I go to the lunch room during lunch. If I make time for 20 minutes half of the days, maybe lunch will seem more satisfying and No S will feel more do-able.
Thanks again for all the words of wisdom.
Betty