wow I'm feeling more emotions
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
wow I'm feeling more emotions
I think I must have been stuffing my feelings a bit with food. Without snacking all day I'm feeling alot more. Kind of sad feelings today or fear. But yesterday I was feeling really happy at times. I guess my question is after 40 years of feeding my feelings what do I do when they are really intense? I dont mean "Like I cant handle it " but I'm sooo used to comforting with food.
Dear emilypop --
I'm a little reluctant to respond to your post because it is so like my experience, which was pretty personal. I used comfort food to get me through one of the worst experiences of my life, gained 60 lbs, but I must say (now that I have lost the 60 lbs) that I think No-S is the best option I could have chosen for approaching that bad spell (e.g. vs. lots of wine or drugs, etc.)
When I started on No-S (I had lost the 60 lbs on WW but was getting a little crazed with counting the points and was on a trajectory to regain it all), I, too, went through an initial period of emotional highs and lows.
The lows, I think, were separation anxiety from the way I had been using food to combat the difficult things that were going on in my life.
The highs, I think, were the budding realization that, by successfully following No-S, I could also be successful in confronting and dealing with those very things that had made my life so difficult.
It's difficult to describe, partly because it's such a personal journey ... but for me, jumping off a cliff and believing in No-S, and being successful at it, has somehow disassociated food from being a solution for problems that food was never intended to solve, and paradoxically, given me a belief that I can approach issues in my life without resorting to Twinkies and Big Macs.
You said "but yesterday I was feeling really happy at times" -- in my experience, you will find that you will continue to increase the amount of time that you feel really happy. It will be because you are being successful in following the No-S way, but it will also be because that success will build your confidence that you can deal with other issues in your life that you used to think could only be comforted away with food.
Your post resonated with me because of that one line "I was feeling really happy at times". Happy wasn't much of a concept with me until I started and got into No-S. Happy is a wonderful way to feel, after all the years of crazy-making diets.
Stick with No-S. Use the HabitCal. Confront those feeling of sadness or fear. Go with the process and know that it doesn't happen overnight. Call 1-800-winnie or any poster on these boards for encouragement.
I wish you well in your journey, applaud your recognition of, and posting about, feeling sad or fearful ... when your feelings are really intense, just tell yourself "I do No-S, I am not a Snacker", and if you must snack, mark it as a red day on HabitCal, and move on.
Read the posts on this board daily -- they are so non-sad, non-fearful ... quite a 180 for so many of us, emotionally and otherwise ...
Best wishes,
Winnie
I'm a little reluctant to respond to your post because it is so like my experience, which was pretty personal. I used comfort food to get me through one of the worst experiences of my life, gained 60 lbs, but I must say (now that I have lost the 60 lbs) that I think No-S is the best option I could have chosen for approaching that bad spell (e.g. vs. lots of wine or drugs, etc.)
When I started on No-S (I had lost the 60 lbs on WW but was getting a little crazed with counting the points and was on a trajectory to regain it all), I, too, went through an initial period of emotional highs and lows.
The lows, I think, were separation anxiety from the way I had been using food to combat the difficult things that were going on in my life.
The highs, I think, were the budding realization that, by successfully following No-S, I could also be successful in confronting and dealing with those very things that had made my life so difficult.
It's difficult to describe, partly because it's such a personal journey ... but for me, jumping off a cliff and believing in No-S, and being successful at it, has somehow disassociated food from being a solution for problems that food was never intended to solve, and paradoxically, given me a belief that I can approach issues in my life without resorting to Twinkies and Big Macs.
You said "but yesterday I was feeling really happy at times" -- in my experience, you will find that you will continue to increase the amount of time that you feel really happy. It will be because you are being successful in following the No-S way, but it will also be because that success will build your confidence that you can deal with other issues in your life that you used to think could only be comforted away with food.
Your post resonated with me because of that one line "I was feeling really happy at times". Happy wasn't much of a concept with me until I started and got into No-S. Happy is a wonderful way to feel, after all the years of crazy-making diets.
Stick with No-S. Use the HabitCal. Confront those feeling of sadness or fear. Go with the process and know that it doesn't happen overnight. Call 1-800-winnie or any poster on these boards for encouragement.
I wish you well in your journey, applaud your recognition of, and posting about, feeling sad or fearful ... when your feelings are really intense, just tell yourself "I do No-S, I am not a Snacker", and if you must snack, mark it as a red day on HabitCal, and move on.
Read the posts on this board daily -- they are so non-sad, non-fearful ... quite a 180 for so many of us, emotionally and otherwise ...
Best wishes,
Winnie
Winnie, Thank you so much for your response. It was inspiring and helped me finish my dinner without seconds!!!!! I do think I will be able to do more in my life as I gain confidence completing more No s days and also the ability to move on from failures without going a bit nuts..
I"ve had this feeling " I cant even eat right so how can work,clean, .....ect..."
My feeling right now is gratefull for finding the book instead of yet another "fad diet booK" Thank you !!
I"ve had this feeling " I cant even eat right so how can work,clean, .....ect..."
My feeling right now is gratefull for finding the book instead of yet another "fad diet booK" Thank you !!
Re: wow I'm feeling more emotions
Maybe keeping a journal would help you? I find that keeping a journal helps keep me grounded and helps me sort through my feelings a lot. Much better than ice cream.emilypop wrote:I think I must have been stuffing my feelings a bit with food. Without snacking all day I'm feeling alot more. Kind of sad feelings today or fear. But yesterday I was feeling really happy at times. I guess my question is after 40 years of feeding my feelings what do I do when they are really intense? I dont mean "Like I cant handle it " but I'm sooo used to comforting with food.
"Anyone can cook." ~ Chef Gusteau, Ratatouille
I have found that one of the big benefits of No-S is that once you stop masking emotions with food, you feel them more fully. Or deal with whaterver is causing them. I spend less time procrastinating, have become more assertive about addressing issues (and more skilled at doing so in ways that keep relationships intact), and am better at identifying what matters to me.
Strategies I use...
- Journaling. I do three pages a day (not quite full size paper), including "something I like" and ending with 10 affirmations which change according to my life. Other than that, it's stream-of-consciousness writing. I re-read periodically and note patterns.
- Meditation. I'm still a beginner, but think it's a valuable tool. Learning to simply be with emotions (especially the less-comfortable ones) is a valuable skill.
- Actively looking for other "comfort" strategies (comfort isn't a bad thing, even if using food is not the best method) - your mileage may vary on this, but the "something I like" helps me get in touch with my personal list. Mine include exercise, flowers, scented candles, time to read or knit, cooking (with No-S, you can actually enjoy food MORE), time with friends, just looking at the sky or getting outside, etc.
Best wishes. I do think there's often an emotional component to eating, but it's SO interesting to see how chicken-and-egg the relationship is.
Strategies I use...
- Journaling. I do three pages a day (not quite full size paper), including "something I like" and ending with 10 affirmations which change according to my life. Other than that, it's stream-of-consciousness writing. I re-read periodically and note patterns.
- Meditation. I'm still a beginner, but think it's a valuable tool. Learning to simply be with emotions (especially the less-comfortable ones) is a valuable skill.
- Actively looking for other "comfort" strategies (comfort isn't a bad thing, even if using food is not the best method) - your mileage may vary on this, but the "something I like" helps me get in touch with my personal list. Mine include exercise, flowers, scented candles, time to read or knit, cooking (with No-S, you can actually enjoy food MORE), time with friends, just looking at the sky or getting outside, etc.
Best wishes. I do think there's often an emotional component to eating, but it's SO interesting to see how chicken-and-egg the relationship is.
Ok. I hope this doesn't come out sound silly.
When I'm feeling stressed or frustrated, I find that my mind keeps me up at night going over and over the issues I'm struggling with. I find it helpful to stop and think to myself, "Ok, clearly there are things that are bothering you so let's identify them and acknowledge them†: 1) My project dead line is causing stress, 2) The news I just watched and economy are causing me stress....3) I can't have Starbucks coffee/chocolate ice-cream on a N day makes me sad...blah, blah (you get the idea).
Once I've put them all in a row and identified the thoughts connected with the emotions then the emotions become clearer and easier to work with. I either make a plan to do something about it or I acknowledge that I have no control over the issue but recognize where the feelings are coming from.
When I'm feeling stressed or frustrated, I find that my mind keeps me up at night going over and over the issues I'm struggling with. I find it helpful to stop and think to myself, "Ok, clearly there are things that are bothering you so let's identify them and acknowledge them†: 1) My project dead line is causing stress, 2) The news I just watched and economy are causing me stress....3) I can't have Starbucks coffee/chocolate ice-cream on a N day makes me sad...blah, blah (you get the idea).
Once I've put them all in a row and identified the thoughts connected with the emotions then the emotions become clearer and easier to work with. I either make a plan to do something about it or I acknowledge that I have no control over the issue but recognize where the feelings are coming from.
Newbie
Thank you all so much. I'm definately feeling alot more. Sad keeps on coming up today. But I feel strength in no snacking(thats my hardest) . So I'm sad . Oh welll ! I'll be ok and will feel happy again. I am realizing I have benn eating over the economy, husband issues and aging . I did journal a bit today and even cried but I realize thru this bulliton board I'm not alone.
Belser: Not to worry -- your post doesn't sound at all silly. In fact, I think it's one of the most helpful things I've ever read! I get as far as making a list of what's bothering me, but it's never occurred to me to think through exactly what emotion(s) a problem is eliciting. Thank you so much for sharing ...
Emilypop: As you've discovered, you certainly aren't alone. The journaling sounds like a great idea, and you might want to consider Belser's strategy. It's already helped me get a better handle on identifying what emotions I'm feeling, as opposed to just knowing what the issues are. (I sometimes find myself in a sort of general funk, and it's helpful to me to know what it's composed of -- sadness, anger, fear, etc.) Thanks for starting this interesting thread -- KCCC, Nicole, and Belser all had great suggestions!
Emilypop: As you've discovered, you certainly aren't alone. The journaling sounds like a great idea, and you might want to consider Belser's strategy. It's already helped me get a better handle on identifying what emotions I'm feeling, as opposed to just knowing what the issues are. (I sometimes find myself in a sort of general funk, and it's helpful to me to know what it's composed of -- sadness, anger, fear, etc.) Thanks for starting this interesting thread -- KCCC, Nicole, and Belser all had great suggestions!
Belser, I agree with Winnie96 - that's a really useful idea. Often just NAMING what is going on provides a great deal of clarity. Like Winnie, I hadn't followed the whole process of naming emotions that way, and I think it's a superb strategy.
Emilypop, just sending best wishes. Your post reminds me of a former poster here, Blueskighs (Blue for short) who wrote very eloquently about the process of learning to be with her feelings as she ceased to stifle them with food. You might dig up her daily thread and read through. (She left because she'd met her goals and found equilibrium in terms of maintaining, but she pops in occasionally to say "hi" to everyone.)
Also, I knit, and there's a lovely podcast called CogKnitive by a knitter who is also a cognitive psychologist. Her podcasts always include a "life strategy," many of which involve dealing with stress or sadness. They're on iTunes, and I really like them. (That's where I got the "something I like" idea for my journal - she also does a podcast segment on that theme, and I loved that idea. Even when I don't like what she likes in a particular segment, I enjoy her enthusiasm.) If you listen to podcasts, you might like hers, even if you don't knit.
Emilypop, just sending best wishes. Your post reminds me of a former poster here, Blueskighs (Blue for short) who wrote very eloquently about the process of learning to be with her feelings as she ceased to stifle them with food. You might dig up her daily thread and read through. (She left because she'd met her goals and found equilibrium in terms of maintaining, but she pops in occasionally to say "hi" to everyone.)
Also, I knit, and there's a lovely podcast called CogKnitive by a knitter who is also a cognitive psychologist. Her podcasts always include a "life strategy," many of which involve dealing with stress or sadness. They're on iTunes, and I really like them. (That's where I got the "something I like" idea for my journal - she also does a podcast segment on that theme, and I loved that idea. Even when I don't like what she likes in a particular segment, I enjoy her enthusiasm.) If you listen to podcasts, you might like hers, even if you don't knit.
Theese are all such great ideas. I'm just amazed on the feelings coming up. I failed yesterday at the end of the day and the feelings numbed out a wee bit or more like were covered up by disgust for eating instead of sadness over my issues. But then after sleeping and waking up with a food hangover I ate a healthy clean breakfast no seconds and the true feeling came back. I'm realizing I need to make some changes in my life. I am going to allow the sadness today if thats whats going on and Journal, walk, call my best friend and talk and have a No sss day. I wish I knew how to knit .
Just looked up Blueskighs wow I got some good reading ahead of me Thanks!!
Just looked up Blueskighs wow I got some good reading ahead of me Thanks!!
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