Anxious (while eating!) about getting hungry

[Badger]

I'm a month or so into no-s and loving it.

One of my problems though is that I start to get worried while I'm eating my meals. Sometimes I won't feel particularly ravenous before a meal, and I'll put together a nice, not-over-the-top-but-plentiful plate of food. I'll start eating it and be really enjoying it. Then when I'm maybe over halfway through, I'll think 'oh no! I've only got those beans and this much rice (or whatever) left'. I'll feel almost panicky about it. I think I'm worried that I'll still be hungry when I've finished. I start eating it really quickly in a bit of a panic. Then once the meal is over, everything goes back to being fine, I'm not hungry after all and don't think about eating for a few hours.
Does anyone else have this? I'm not really tempted to put more on my plate, because once the meal is over it becomes clear that the meal was plenty. It's just while I'm eating.
I think it's to do with limiting myself. I have had the same problem when I tried to just smoke one cigarette (now I smoke none almost always). When the cigarette is only about a third burnt down, I'll think 'oh no - it's soon going to be finished!'.
Does anyone else have this problem, or any ideas for solving it?

I also have a very positive no-s experience to share with you. I recently went on holiday to France. I decided to treat myself to s days throughout the holiday. I snacked (fairly moderately) whenever other people snacked. The food was lovely as you would expect. But I wasn't really hungry. When I got back, the next day was an n-day. There was a long gap between lunch and dinner, and I was hungry. My first bite - a cherry tomato (supermarket budget standard!) - was SO delicious. None of those beautiful French meals could compare to the taste of that tomato, eaten when truly hungry. I have learnt my lesson: if treating yourself is about giving yourself pleasure, then a string of s days might not really be a treat.

[vmsurbat]

I'm a month or so into no-s and loving it.

One of my problems though is that I start to get worried while I'm eating my meals. I'll start eating it and be really enjoying it. Then when I'm maybe over halfway through, I'll think 'oh no! I've only got those beans and this much rice (or whatever) left'. I'll feel almost panicky about it.


Does anyone else have this problem, or any ideas for solving it?

I've been following NoS for 3 years and I know exactly what you are talking about! As you correctly noted ("I'll think 'oh no!'"), this is really a mind problem. So, I tackle it by substituting that faulty thought with the correct one: "Wait a minute! This is a great plate of food. It is enough, enough as proven by all those previous, satisfying meals. Enjoy it, don't worry about it!" And then do focus on enjoying the food, the meal, the company (if any). Repeat as needed.

NoS provides a sane structure of habit which allows us to tackle our "diethead" mind games successfully. This is one of the many things I love about NoS!

[NoSnacker]

I know I have experienced something similar...when I eat my last meal, I worry that I won't be able to eat anymore for the day and that upsets me in a weird way.....I was a night time binger, straight away after dinner until bed.

I know as a child I was deprived of a lot of things in life and as I got older I had control over my food etc. so trust me I never went hungry.

Like vmsurbat it truly is a mind thing. Perhaps try to come up with something to counter that with a positive thought. Try to put something together on paper (note to yourself) and while you are eating if those thoughts come, read your note to yourself.

Maybe your fears come from somewhere in your past, for me my fears are always tied to the past.

Hope you find what works for you.

Oh ya, and they say hunger is the best seasoning....

[Badger]

Thank you so much for your replies.

Yes - I think it is a mind thing. I think that I feel anxious that I'm going to be sort of ALONE, once the food is gone - even though I am usually with people (usually my children!). The evening or whatever ahead without any food to use as a prop looks kind of cold or something. I don't really know why I feel like this.

I think that maybe I've just got used to having food available as something to 'do'. Whenever I had a difficult piece of work to do, I would start by getting something to munch on while I thought about it. It has been amazing to learn how to sit at my computer without any food around, and without thinking about food. When it is NOT mealtime, I feel fine about not snacking, and usually very happy to wait for the next meal. It is only during the meal that I feel worried. Weird.

[Who Me?]

I know people who are physically incapable of enjoying themselves during a happy time, because they're already fretting about having to wash the dishes, or what the *next* activity is going to be.

Okay, that person is my mother-in-common-law. She can't live in the (happy) moment, because she's compelled to drive herself nuts over what *might* happen, or which tiny thing didn't to exactly as planned. Also, in the middle of huge parties she's compelled to start vacuuming, which is --apparently -- *not* the sign that she's done for the night and all the guests should go home.

So, you're not alone.

[Nicest of the Damned]

I'll tell you something that might help: if you have a normal metabolism (ie, you don't have diabetes or anything like that), being hungry between meals isn't the end of the world.

It's a mild discomfort, really. Think about how uncomfortable being hungry really is, and compare it to other discomforts you've been through. It's not the worst thing you've ever experienced, is it?

It's not going to do any long-term damage to you if you are hungry for a while (again, assuming a normal metabolism), contrary to what some diets and food manufacturers would like you to think. People fast for various reasons, including religious reasons. Muslims are fasting during daylight hours now for Ramadan, and the Jewish fast of Yom Kippur is coming up in a few weeks. If fasting really had a harmful long-term impact for most people, it would have died out a long time ago as a religious ritual, or gotten reinterpreted into something less harmful.

One of my problems though is that I start to get worried while I'm eating my meals. I'll start eating it and be really enjoying it. Then when I'm maybe over halfway through, I'll think 'oh no! I've only got those beans and this much rice (or whatever) left'. I'll feel almost panicky about it.

I didn't usually get panicky, but I did resent having to stop eating before I was full. The resentment eventually got less intense.

I did have a panicky moment once, when I was hungry. I remember telling myself, "you know there's food there for you when the next meal time comes, you were just working on making something for dinner". It seemed to help.

[oolala53]

Just keep substituting a different thought and distracting yourself. I bet it will go away for the most part. If you have the thought, so what? Things are great for the most part, right? Don't let perfection be the enemy of the good.

[Clarica]

I'd recommend reminding yourself that your balanced nutritious food will be sustaining.

I used to worry irrationally about starving, though not particularly at mealtimes. I deal with it now by taking a multivitamin, and trying to consider if I am eating a balanced variety of foods if I worry about it. Sometimes I get stuck in a rut. Plus, I probably could eat more vegetables.

I don't worry as much as I used to, at least. :)

[Nicest of the Damned]

Just keep substituting a different thought and distracting yourself. I bet it will go away for the most part. If you have the thought, so what?

Remember, thoughts are not failures. There is no way to fail at No S that doesn't involve food going into your mouth.

You might try just acknowledging the thought when it happens, and not struggling to make it go away. When it happens, say to yourself, "I am feeling anxious about not eating enough and feeling hungry later." Then just step back and watch the thought in your mind's eye. It will go away eventually, as all thoughts do, even if you don't do anything to get rid of it.

[finallyfull]

Badger,

I have had this happen many times. I'm in my 5th month of No S, and it has greatly reduced and almost disappeared. I guess the panick was my brain's way of keeping my bad habit going. What helps me is to hear those thoughts, and then to reassure myself and take pleasure in the certain knowledge that "these voices are silly because I ALWAYS feel full about 20 minutes after a good meal." Always. One thing that may reinforce this false "voice" for me is that I USED TO, on occasion, try to eat small meals, insufficient snacks, diet foods, whatever. My brain is on alert for any "tricks" I may try to play on it. But here's the wonderful thing: with the consistent, ongoing, nurturing habit of three nice, solid, fulfilling, healthy meals day after day after day that No S brings, my brain is beginning to relax and trust. I will be fed. I am finally full. And slowly but surely, the faulty wiring I and our culture have put into my brain is going away!

(On the emotional issue, I also noticed I came face to face with my REAL thoughts and emotions when I stopped distracting myself with food or thoughts of food. And you know what? I now deal with them and my life gets better. Sometimes I'm bored and need to be creative, sometimes I'm tired and need rest, sometimes I am upset and need to deal with a relationship issue, etc. It's good to be free of distractions that keep my life stuck.)

What is truly, truly amazing here is this: I am not someone who's had a stereotypically big problem with food. I am quite average, and yet our snacking food-obsessed, weight-obsessed culture still had brainwashed me and caused me to allow diet-head and food "abuse" to compromise my ability to live my best life. It's very interesting. Rinehardt is a genius.

[Badger]

Thank you for all your replies - what a helpful and supportive forum this is!

I would also say like the last poster that I didn't used to have a big problem with food. My problems only started when I started dieting. I am a healthy weight, but wanted to be slimmer. So I tried the low carb diet (extra restrictive as I'm vegetarian). I found myself behaving a bit weirdly... taking spinach bread sandwiches (truly disgusting) as part of a packed lunch, and making myself (a lot of) weird snacks. I switched to the vegetarian low gi, and suddenly nuts were out and beans were in. I was still being weird, feeling guilty etc. And in fact I didn't lose any weight. I was doing a lot of food preparation... you can eat unlimited lentil salad, so as you can imagine I made a lot of it. When I read about the no-s diet, I saw it as a way to solve the weirdness and guilt while not gaining weight (hopefully forever).

I felt so joyful when I started the no s diet and could make delicious and totally normal meals (like I used to have). E.g. if I made a curry, I could have rice with it and even a bit of naan bread if it fitted on the plate!!!! (Only people who have tried weird diets will understand why there are so many excited exclamation marks here). I could go out for dinner with people, and just choose the thing on the menu that I liked best!!!! When my mum comes round and makes everyone scrambled eggs on toast, I don't have to try to avoid eating the toast!!!! (though actually I do have a social problem with this, as my mum serves up the eggs and toast, and leaves more toast on the table for people to have if they are still hungry. I put another bit on my plate straight away, so I have my whole meal on my plate, but I think this looks a bit weird and greedy. What would you do here? I haven't told my mum about no-s. She would not approve of me being on any sort of "diet").

I think that no-s is restoring the right relationship with food for me. I used to snack while working (healthy snacks admittedly, but I was in and out of the kitchen the whole time), and I used to snack while watching tv. I used to buy snacks to eat on the train, even if it wasn't a meal time. All of this was not because I was hungry. I don't know why I did it, but I am really happy that it is stopping.

The worry during meals is going away. I think writing and reading about it (bringing it into the light) has helped. And because hunger is still quite a new thing for me, venturing into it is almost like going on an interesting journey to a new place, and finding out what it's like. It turns out to be fine.

[finallyfull]

In regard to the question of the plate of toast, and how might feel or look "greedy" to take an extra portion and put it on your plate straight away -- this, to me, is part of the education that comes from having the "one plate" rule. I have learned so much about my feelings about portion size, and how I get "around" the stigma of eating too much by taking seconds. I think when faced with those "seconds" on our FIRST plate, we get a TRUE picture of how much we will eat, and slowly, over time, we can decide what a good amount is. If we are allowed seconds, we can hide from others (and mainly, from ourselves) how much we are eating.

As Rinehart says, your eyeballs will eventually help you choose normal portions, because you have to be up front and truthful about what you are about to eat - no escape from the truth!

I have found this especially hard when I'm with others (particularly, say, my in-laws) when I have to fill my plate, once, with my whole meal. I try to, when I'm alone, eat "as if" other people were around, and fill my plate accordingly. I am totally certain that there is a balance between the amount I want, and the amount that is socially acceptable, and that point is probably the point that I truly need. But the single plate rule is the only way I will find this point.

[oolala53]

If you know absolutely ahead of time that you will want another piece of toast, I think you should take it up front. Do you really think your family is judging you as being greedy? Is there a chance that someone really won't get enough because you took the toast? Could you offer to make more later if it looks like there isn't enough as the meal goes on

[Ani33]

I wouldnt worry about taking the toast up front. When you are finished your meal you can feel rightous saying no more for me thank you - im full. While everyone else picks at seconds and thirds. You'll end up eating less than them probably and certainly not looking or being greedy.